[Denied]Crymsonblade's Third Application

[C-Blade 0]

Out-Of-Character Information
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name: CrymsonBlade
How old are you?: 20
Time-Zone: Central Standard
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?: Yes
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?: None
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: Internet
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server:http://www.lordofthe...on/#entry788183 http://www.lordofthe...on/#entry789472
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above): Yes
Have you read the Dwarven lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: Yes

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: one takes on a fictional identity for recreational purposes.
Meta-gaming: Using out of character information to influence the game, which is breaking the rules
Power-emoting: When you force an action and the other player doesn't have time to react.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Thror Thunderfist
Current Age: 100
Sub-race (if any): Cave Dwarf
Clan (if any): Thunderfist
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):
Thror grew up in Kal’Urugan for the first part of his childhood. He was taught to mine precious ores from an early age. He was clumsy at first but caught on quickly. He soon became a productive miner and smelter. He then learned how to effectively create his own tools from different ores he mined and smelted.
Little did he know, he was soon to face great tragedy. During the Great Collapse, he escaped the city. Unfortunately his parents were not so lucky, they were among the murdered.
He tried living in Khorvad, but fled during the siege by the Remnant of Uruguan. Now he was lost and utterly alone. He found an empty cave and took to mining, the only thing he knew. This brought some temporary comfort, but he still missed his kinsmen.
For a time, he tried living with the Mountain Dwarves of the Kal’Alras, but he didn’t feel like he belonged there. They thought he was weak and didn’t want him around. So, he packed his things and went to try living with the Forest Dwarves living with the Mountain Dwarves
The Forest Dwarves proved to be a close-knit group and again Thror felt left out. He was not skilled in nature activities and felt useless there. So he packed his things and kept moving.
Disheartened by what had transpired, he felt like no one would accept him and he was destined to wander forever. Wandering had taken its toll on him, and his poor eyesight above ground wasn't exactly helping.
Unsure of where to go next, he went to seek shelter with his cousins, Duregar and Dror, and the Thunderfist Clan. He finally found a home and kinsmanship among the Thunderfists, a place where he can truly feel at home.
Ambitions for the Future: To help the clan in any way he can. To try to rebuild his life.
Personality: Quiet, but fiercely loyal to the clan
Skills:  Mining, smithing, and crafting
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin):

Any other details you wish to share about your character: His skin is not  as dark as that of other cave dwarves. His parents were never sure why but it is something he cannot help.

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
____

1. Whilst mining deep in the undergrounds of Kalos you see a large deposit of diamond ore at the other side of the ravine you are on. There is a very thin rock bridge that looks precariously unstable, but it is the only way to access the deposit. What do you do?

Answer: I would assess the condition of the bridge to the best of my abilities. Then I would mine some extra stone to reinforce the bridge with. Wishing to survive the ordeal, I would ask for some assistance from my Clanmates as it would be dangerous to attempt such a task alone. If my clamates were not available to assist me, I would careful begin the process myself. But I would only reinforce it enough to allow me to cross. No need to endanger myself further than is necessary. I am always looking for the safest way to do things in a mine, they can be very dangerous after all.

2. You are sitting in the local tavern with a large pint of ale in your hand - sitting nearby you is a rather young dwarf whom is clearly going through a bad time. He is crying to himself, and clutching a small wooden hammer toy. In the other corner of the room two shady dwarves are sitting whispering to each other and pointing occasionally at the dwarf. They stand up, one with a small dagger in his hand and begin to approach the young dwarf. What do you do?

Answer: I would grab the dwarf’s wrist that is holding the dagger and saying “Lad, I advise you drop that before you hurt yourself.” If he does not, I would take it from him and punch him, saying “Look what you’ve done, you have gone and gotten yourself hurt, now run along home before any more injuries occur.” Then I would walk over to the small dwarf and say “There, There Lad, we all go through tough times, here I will tell about a very tough time in my life, when I was living in Kal’Urugan, and then you tell me about what’s bothering you and maybe we will both feel better.” Who knows, I may be able to help him.

3. Whilst wandering through the Dwarven Caverns you hear a voice call out to you; “Oi, ye’! C’mere n’ get ye’rself an ale!”. You spin on your heel and see a heavily bearded bar-owner looking at you - a huge grin on his face, and a mug of ale in his hand. How do you react?

Answer: I am a very dedicated miner and smelter and don’t allow for distractions, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like to have fun on my breaks. I am pleased by his friendliness and really do want to take him up on the offer but have urgent work that needs my attention. I reply, “Nay, I’ve places to be friend. I am a miner and smelter by trade and there’s always work to be done. But maybe on my break we can drop by the tavern and I’ll buy drinks for us both.” He says: Come now, no man’s too busy for an ale. Just one, I insist.” I reply: What’s your name friend? He replies: “Hari”. I say: “Well, Hari, nice to meet you, name’s Thror. Now, I know you mean well and all but I simply must get back to work, the ores aren’t going to mine and smith themselves y’know.” He says: “Oh, all right, I can see you’re very dedicate to your work and I respect that. But, I’ll be taking you up on that free drink later.” I say: (Chuckling) Aye, I’m a man of my word. Pleasure speaking with you, farewell.” Hari:”Farewell.” I walk off to done my chores thoroughly pleased at having made a new friend.


 

[cruzazul 2815]

 

Unfortunately your application has been denied. Here are some things that need to be improved if you are wanting to reapply.

 

Your biography is lovely and contains a plethora of server lore. This is very good, however there is one problem I see with it. You don't really tell much about your character's personality or actions. You basically just state how he grew up, where he lived, and how he lived his early life. I really think you can add more to this. It is a subtle change that can make a very big difference when you get to roleplaying.

 

Expand on your first and second ORQs. They are a bit short and could have some more dialogue throughout.

 

Please wait 24 hours from this denial before reapplying. If you have any questions don't be afraid to send me a message.

[cruzazul 2815]

Moved to Denied Forum