[Denied][Elf] Marth56S Third Application!

[marth56 1]

[b]Out-Of-Character Information[/b]
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name: marth56
How old are you?: 12 nearly 13
Time-Zone: GTM +1
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?: Yes they were very helpful.
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?: I have played on a light roleplay server and a heavy roleplay server.
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: I have heard about it from other people and I have also read about it.
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/90274-marth56s-new-application/ http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/90168-marth56s-application/
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above): I have now!
Have you read the Elven lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: Yep! It was very interesting.

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: To act as a character created by a player. This character is not the player that is playing the character but a fictional person.
Meta-gaming: To use information found out of character and use it in an in character way, e.g. Player 1 is outside. Player 1 hears Player 2 & 3 talking inside. Player 1 uses this information in character, even though it was obtained out of character. This is breaking the lotcs rules.
Power-emoting: Forcing an action on another player without there consent, e.g. Player 1 shoves Player 2 onto the ground. Player 1 kills Player 2 in cold blood with a sword. Note: Player 2 did not want this to happen to his/her character.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Adra Huntingdon
Current Age: 24
Sub-race (if any): High Elf
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long): Adra was born and raised in Malinor. He grew up happily there, until one day. His father loved to go on hunting trips, however, one day he didn't come back. He was missing for three days. On the fourth day a group of Sentinels found him, laying face down on the grass, with an arrow in his back. Adra was so upset with this new he took his bow and a quiver of arrows, and ran from Malinor, into the forests beyond. He was there for two weeks.

 

He spent his time hunting animals and cooking them for food. On the second week Adra came across a small bandit camp. 

"Remember that man we killed two weeks ago!" Said one of them laughing.

"Weakling!" Said another, "Remember John, you got him straight in the back with that arrow of yours!"

Adra knew the man they were talking about his Father. He slowly backed away back to his camp and bumped into a man. He turned around and looming over him was a Malinor Sentinel. The Sentinel looked down on him showing no emotion. The Sentinel signaled for Adra to get down, when he did so he put his finger to his mouth telling Adra to be quiet. He then looked to his comrades who were on all sides of the bandit camp. He raised three fingers, then two, then one. When all fingers were down the group charged at the Bandits shouting battle cries as they ran. The sound of steel on steel echoed through the forests. There were eight Sentinels and five Bandits at the start, by the end, the Bandits had all perished with six Sentinels left. 

"What's your name son?" Said the Sentinel that he had bumped into earlier.

"Adra,sir" He replied.

"You better come with us this is no place for a child."

Adra followed them feeling sorry for the families of the dead Sentinels. 

 

When He got home his mother was furious that he had ran away however glad that she had her son back. From that day on Adra returned home every night but would like to relive that memory.

Ambitions for the Future: To become a full time hunter
Personality: Fiesty, Head Strong, Sometimes his anger and short fuse can get him into trouble. The anger comes out at him against people he doesn't like. He can never be angry at people close to him. He can also have a bit of an evil side to him if he is in a bad mood or a opportunity arises.
Skills: Great with a bow. Practically Invisible when it comes to stealth.
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): Blonde hair, green clothes http://imgur.com/dlr0DPp
Any other details you wish to share about your character: Nope

[b]Open-Response-Questions[/b]
[i]Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.[/i]
____

[b]1. As you walk through the deep forests you hear the sound of whispering and snickering. Upon inspection you realize that a group of older elves are mocking a small elven child. How do you react?[/b]

Answer:Adra pulled up his hood so it covered his face and pulled his bow off of the clip on his back. He loaded a bow with an iron pointed tip and pulled back the string. He let the arrow fly. Adra put on a deep voice to conceal his identity. 

"Oi! Boys! Run now or be my latest meal!" Adra said slowly walking towards them.

"Damn Bandits" Said one of the older boys. He gave the child another quick kick and fled with the rest of them. Adra ran over to the battered child. He then switched back to his normal voice pulling his hood down as he ran.

"Are you alright?" Said Adra

"Please don't hurt me!" Replied the boy. Adra put his bow away and took the boys hand, pulling him up. Adra chuckled.

"It's ok, that was all a fake. Those boys were hurting you and I am rubbish in close combat so I had to scare them off."

Adra picked the injured boy up and carried him back to Malinor. The boy told him where he lived so he knew where to go. He also told Adra about everything that had happened, Adra then told the boys mother. From that day on the boy never got mocked or beaten up again.

[b]2. Whilst wandering through the Elven forests you come across a frail old man with a walking stick. He collapses in front of you, falling to the ground with a sharp thud. Out of his pocket falls a small pouch of gold coins, which hits the ground and splits open spreading coins across the pathway. The man lies there, defenseless - what do you do?[/b]

Answer: Adra walked over to the man. 

"Are you ok" He said picking up his stick and handing it to him as he did so.

"Yes,yes." The man took his stick and started to pick up the coins. He put his hand on his back in pain. Adra then kneeled down to pick up the coins. He slowly put each coin, one by one, into the bag.

"Keep some," the old man said.

"No no, it's fine they are yours," Adra said smiling. He handed the bag back to the old man. 

"Gods bless you, boy," the man said as Adra walked away. Adra smirked flipping the the diamond dagger he had slipped out of the mans scabbard.

[b]3. Whilst traversing the Elven Woodlands, you come across a small clearing in which a colored carriage sits. A trader stands outside of it and calls you over, telling you of his wares. He points out that his carriage sells just about everything, and that he's willing for you to haggle for a price. What does your character do? (Please include:- item, haggling for prices and the discussion involved).

Answer: Adra walked up to the man, forcing a smile. 

"Hello there!" said the trader "take a look at my wares!"

Adra browsed the carriage. Weapons from axes to daggers! Armour from leather to diamond! But sitting at the far end of the carriage was the most beautiful bow Adra had ever seen. He picked it up feeling the weight. It was as light as a feather! He then saw a quiver of diamond tipped arrows! 

"How much for the lovely bow and crystal arrows!" Adra shouted.

"That'll be 30 gold," the merchant said. Adra knowing this was a very good price, still wanted to try and get a discount.

"20 gold!" Adra shouted "the string's a bit loose and the arrow tips are wobbly." Adra waited for a reply

"No chance, 25 gold final offer!" Exclaimed the merchant.

"Deal!" Adra said emerging from the carriage with the bow on his back and the quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder. He handed the merchant a bag of shiny gold coins.

"Thank you" Adra said walking away from the carriage.

"No, thank you sir, good day, safe travels."

"I will thank you," Adra shouted back smiling at the incredible deal he had just made.

[cruzazul 2815]

 

Unfortunately your application has been denied. Here are some things that need to be improved if you are wanting to reapply.

 

I'd still like to see you add more to your ORQs. Especially the second one. It is a bit vague and I feel like you could definitely add more detail.

 

Describe your character in more detail. With what you have said I do not really get a good picture of how he looks, thinks, and acts. Add onto that and explain even the minor details. They can help a lot when describing your character in general. Painting the reader a picture when listing the tenancies and personality as well as look of your character can be an enormous help when trying to understand what your character is.

 

Your biography is great and includes a large amount of lore, I just think your character could be fleshed out more.

 

You are very close to acceptance, just expand on the areas above and give it another go!

 

Please wait 24 hours from this denial before reapplying. If you have any questions don't be afraid to send me a message.

[cruzazul 2815]

Moved to Denied Forum