Watyll

Even though I'm only stopping in for a few minutes, it feels weird to be back. I don't want to make assumptions about this place anymore. It never did me any good. But in a very strange way, stopping in to the site feels like time itself has stopped around me. Everyday I wake up, head to work, head home, work on whatever project I've undertaken to pass the time. Books. D&D. Fate. There's comfort to be found in creativity. To create something, for it to belong wholly to me, even if its crap work. Maybe that's what kept me around all those years. A community of people who just wanted to do something. Create something. Stories, legacies, relationships, anything that made them feel something other than the monotony of the same old same old.

This place never seems to change. Maybe that's for the better, you know? Something familiar when everything else around us feels like its moving a million miles an hour, well out of our control. I'm doing much better than last time we spoke. Work is work. I'm still writing. Working my way through a book, for what it's worth. Every time I open the document I think of whatever you were working on. Sometimes I think about reaching out to your family if I ever make it as an author. I'd love to finish it for you. Get it out there for the world to see. Then again, I'm something of a coward. When your mother and I spoke it broke me for a few days. I hope they've managed to find someone to complete your work. 

Ahhh. 

I found someone that cares a lot about me. They put up with my inadequacies, and lemme tell you, there's still a lot going on there. I've been working on that, too. Introspection. Accepting my faults. I've made a lot of progress there. I'm starting to accept the person in the mirror, the people everyone else claims to see, is who I really am. Empathy is a skill I've picked up on. Took me long enough, really. All the schmoozing around I did throughout high school, you think I'd of figured out how I made people feel. Well, better late than never, right? 

Everything is a lot of the same. Just a whole lot of little successes to keep me moving in the right direction. 

I think about you and our time together often. You have a lot to do with why I'm striving to grow everyday. One bad night, I nearly ended everything over a disagreement with my parents. You told me to keep going. Because giving up wasn't something you knew me to do. Weird, really. I've never felt like I could keep anything rolling, but if there's anything I'm not gonna give up on, its this. Living to be the person you believed me to be.

Thanks for everything, J.