Pending.
You might want to take a look at your definition of metagaming - feel free to look it up, but remember to put it into your own words!
Make sure that you contain more references to the lore, such as the place your character grew up in, or where he/she has traveled to or aspires to go to. Also, try including more historical things that your character could have witnessed (like the giant worm attack in Athera!) - check out the wiki if you need to.
When writing your character's biography, please refrain from using the cliche of 'my parents were killed and now I am orphaned'.
You have twenty four hours to make this edit - you do not need you make a second post! Just edit it! Be sure to contact me once you make these changes. Please be sure to PM me once your edits are complete.
If you need any help, feel free to PM me or ask for help in the WS chat in-game. Good luck!