The Tunnel

[meg 1994]

 

 

The familiar crunch of snow beneath her feet gave The Witch a quiet sense of security. She was more cautious than this, generally, but the matter held deep significance. She wanted to understand the inner workings of the mechanism he had left behind with her. She desperately wanted to understand him. In spite of this, there was no safety to be had in the chilled mountaintop, and as the butt of the weapon was brought down against her temple, an entirely unfamiliar pit formed in her stomach.

 

~~~

 

The Phantom pulled back the hammer, and looked down at her with eyes not entirely contemptuous, but she could not discern anything in the muddled flurry of emotions. She had no connections to ghosts, to the remains of people she loved and knew. This ghost, this Phantom, continued, his maddened ramblings passing through her. His words floated and drifted in the air, waiting for her to allow them entry. There was nothing to register, The Witch was, entirely unsure of what to do or say. She had so neatly before gathered her thoughts and feelings and tucked them away, and yet here they came, spilling out from her -- He fired the arcane bolt. Blood poured from her shredded shoulder, her still functioning hand rising quickly to clamp over the wound. The interaction passed in an agonizing blur. The Phantom departed, leaving her with one final wound to fester. The Witch sat, dazed, before finally standing, slowly.

 

~~~

 

If she could make it through the tunnel, she could make it to the docks and then home. If she could make it through the tunnel. If she could make it. If she could.

 

Her eyes felt heavy, her good arm rigid and sore, still holding the wound. She had little feeling in her other arm, blood dripping down the length of her arm and fingers. She stumbled on occasion, barely able to think, barely able to process anything. Memories, emotions, thoughts, feelings struggled and fought with each other for prominence in her mind, a terrible flurry of things clawing and biting and tearing at each other, mixing, fusing, jumbled. Her mind was dragged along, holding tightly to a fond memory, the face of someone,  the thought of something. The memories collected, stirring, forming into an abhorrent maelstrom within her, dragging up old thoughts and other things long buried. 

 

She felt fear. She felt sadness. She wanted to retch. She wanted-

 

A memory pushed itself to the forefront of her consciousness, carrying with it a terrible feeling, a tightness in her chest.

 

~~~

 

 

 

The icy wasteland, frozen forest was a place she knew all too well. Hours, days, time eternal lost wandering, hunting, sleeping. This scene was one she had lived and relived, over and over, in dreams, in nightmares, in times of reflection and in invasions of the mind. She was drawn to it, her fate was tied to this place, she would accept death in no other setting. The Witch turned, scanning her surroundings, stopping suddenly. He was beneath the tree, as he should be. She dared not approach. She simply stood there, breathing heavy. Her chest felt constricted, her entire form trembling. He then, immediately, was not there. Her memories were clashing again, pulling at each other, finding home in the familiar landscape. There was a corpse at her feet, half-frozen to the ground and partially consumed. She stepped over it, moving closer to the tree. He was there, again, but opposite him was her own form, frozen and half-turned, curled up in agony as her very being was transformed. The Witch turned away, a profound discomfort enveloping her, suffocating her. She thrashed against it, a wild and bestial struggler against her past. She pulled at the edges of the scene, dragging it out with her remaining strength, teeth gritted as she awoke.

 

~~~

 

Her eyes shot open, pain immediate. The Witch had fainted, body resting against the side of the tunnel. She stood slowly, leaning heavily against the cold stone wall, glancing either way. There was only darkness in both directions, but she began her long walk again, assured, after checking, that she was not walking over her own bloody trail.

 

The Phantom’s words echoed in her mind. Under threat of death, a command to lie. It, for all intents and purposes, should have been the easy. Lying was everything she was, it was a learned art, not by desire but by necessity. It was natural to lie. Her first inclination for everything was to lie. Any given lie rolled easily off her tongue, quick and effortless and without a second thought. However, if any lie she had told before was a bead of silver coating her tongue, this lie was a block of lead. She practiced it, or attempted to, muttering, barely coherent and delirious.

 

“It was a brigand, it was a mace.  It was a brigand, it was a mace.”

“It was a brigand, it was not a mace. It was a brigand, it was a mace.”

“It was a brigand, it was a mace. It was a brigand, it was a bullet.”

“It was not a brigand, it was a bullet. It was ---, it was a mace.

It was ---, It was ---,”

 

Her mouth closed, but the thought rattled in her brain. It WAS him, How could it be? She was resigned to mourn, but even that had to be taken from her. The Phantom’s words took center stage again, and The Witch was dragged, screaming and howling, to a crossroads. She has falsified many faces before, many personalities, occasionally creating an entire other person. She still, during it all, never denounced herself. Beneath it all, at the center, was still The Witch. She persisted. It was not something she could shed, but something she could perhaps change, one aspect at a time.

 

It would be the most ambitious and important lie The Witch ever endeavored to tell, a lie that becomes truth.

~~~

 

She lifted her head, eyes adjusting sluggishly to the sunlight pouring through the exit of the tunnel. And thus, The Witch emerged The Woman.

 

Spoiler

Elsewhere, and after some time, a written letter sits on the edge of a table, sealed and yet unsent.

 

[trinn 5146]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

If you feel this is a mistake, please contact myself or any FM and we'll restore it.