Gaffer Services Now Available

[Burnsider 4566]

 

Spoiler

 

 

In this time of uncertainty, when demons assault the very shores of the Wee Folk community, it is important to remember the protections and blessings of the Pumpkin Lord, Knox. Lord Knox protects the Wee Folk. He gives blessings to the harvests. He helps us return to a time of good eating, delightful smoking, and fine relaxation. Let us return now to these times, praying that the Pumpkin Lord will bring that time back to us. Do you need help with your harvest blessings? Does your pipe-weed need prayers to better dry the leaves? Are your pumpkins just not up to the quality of prior harvests? If so, you need the help of a practiced devotee of Lord Knox. You need a Gaffer.

 

Gaffer Hamfast has come to Brandybrook to offer the services of a Gaffer to this fine example of a proper Wee Folk village. As usual, all Gaffer services are free of charge to Wee Folk of a proper disposition. Curious Wee Folk need only seek out Gaffer Hamfast at his residence in the Puddlefoot Burrow to inquire about such services.

 

Harvest Blessings

 

Are you in need of a bountiful harvest? Are you planting in a fresh field and want to ensure that it is fertile? Has your land gone fallow and need it to be reinvigorated? Is your child planting their first crop? Call upon Gaffer Hamfast and he will invoke the blessings of Lord Knox. The Pumpkin Lord knows that protection of the Wee Folk begins with ensuring that each belly be full, that each tongue be satisfied.

 

Knox-Blessed Pumpkins

 

Gaffer Hamfast, through careful study and revelation, has found a way to make pumpkins truly blessed by Lord Knox. For truly magnificent pumpkin pies or for the finest gourdian helmets to grace the shores of Arcas, please call upon Gaffer Hamfast for pumpkins of inestimable quality.

 

Lessons for a Proper Child

 

Is your offspring thinking about wearing shoes? Does your cousin entertain the idea of living in a house rather than a burrow? Has your nephew decided that a life of swashbuckling adventure is more important than an evening of good brews and good smokes? Call upon Gaffer Hamfast to teach the wee ones how to act like a proper member of the Wee Folk community, how Lord Knox wants us to act. Act now before it is the Sheriff knocking at your door. Remember, the Pumpkin Lord protects us so that we can afford to live a life of peace and contentment.

 

All this and more can be available from your local Gaffer. Please visit today!

 

The Pumpkin Lord protects us. May we live in peace and happiness because of his protection.

The Pumpkin Lord provides for us. Let us feast upon his spoils in thanks to him.

The Pumpkin Lord teaches us. For to be a proper Wee Folk is to show our devotion to him.

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

Filibert Applefoot, halfling of Brandybrook, smiles ”Can oi use yeh t’is Pumpkin Day? Gonna beh needin’ ah proper harves’ prayer”

[Burnsider 4566]

5 minutes ago, NotEvilAtAll said:

Filibert Applefoot, halfling of Brandybrook, smiles ”Can oi use yeh t’is Pumpkin Day? Gonna beh needin’ ah proper harves’ prayer”

 

Gaffer Hamfast smiled and set his hoe down upon the fence. He took out a handkerchief and wiped the sweat from his brow and the dirt from his hands. “Wha’ a wonderful way ta give devotion ta tha Pumpkin Lord, by ‘avin’ a festival in celebration o’ his blessed gourd. T’would be moi pleasure.”