Augustine Court Etiquette

[zuziee 4004]

 Augustine: Etiquette

 

A proper lady of the Augustine c. 1830

 

A N N O   D O M I N I 1830

Published under the Court of Augustine

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CONTENTS;

»Introduction

            ›Four Important Rules

»Conversation

»Evening Parties for Guests

»Dinner Company for Guests

»Ballroom for Guests

»Table Etiquette

»Conduct in the Street

»Letter Writing

            ›Types of Letters

»Good Habits

»Miscellaneous

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INTRODUCTION; 

Ladies and gentlemen of the court are expected to behave properly according to the guidelines provided by the office of arts. This document outlines all the basic details and information any new lady or lord requires to fit into the strict social culture. Following and studying them from a young age will ensure your reputation will grow.

 

Four Important Rules

“Order is the Seven Skies first law”

Ⅰ. A suitable place for everything, and everything in its place.

Ⅱ. A proper time for everything and everything was done in its time.

Ⅲ. A distinct name for everything, and everything called by its name.

Ⅳ. A certain use for everything, and everything put to its use.

 

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CONVERSATION;

The art of conversation consists of the exercise of two fine qualities. You must originate, and you must sympathize; you must possess at the same time the habit of communicating and listening attentively. The union is rare but irresistible. Some general rules to follow are,

 

Ⅰ. Keep your attention on the person you are conversing with. 

Ⅱ. Avoid topics that may have any direct reference to events or circumstances which may be painful for your companions to hear you discuss.

Ⅲ. Remember a conversation is a two-way street, and simply you speaking is not a conversation.

Ⅳ. If your companion relates or tells a story, be careful not to interrupt.

Ⅴ. Be careful always to speak in a distinct, clear voice; at the same time avoid talking too loudly, there is a happy medium between mumbling and screaming. Strive to attain it.

ⅤI. Never interrupt someone who is speaking.

Ⅶ. Never pain another person by correcting, before others, a word or phrase mispronounced or ungrammatically constructed.

Ⅷ. Never attempt to talk poorly of an absent friend.

Ⅸ. When speaking to someone of higher status or age, you must never address them first. 

Ⅹ. Never criticize a companion's dress, or indeed make any remark whatever upon it.

Ⅺ. Avoid affectation; it is the sure test of a deceitful, vulgar mind.

 

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EVENING PARTIES FOR GUESTS;

Evening parties are one of the funnier events to attend, especially when the host is a dear friend of yours. Nonetheless, you must keep your wits about you! Here are some basic guidelines for such events;

 

Ⅰ. Upon receiving an invitation for an evening party, answer it immediately, that way your host may know for how many guests they must provide.

Ⅱ. Punctuality is a mark of politeness if your invitation states the hour at which your hostess will be ready to welcome you. 

Ⅲ. When you enter the location of the event, go immediately to your host, and speak to them.

Ⅳ. While you maintain a cheerful deportment, avoid loud talking and laughing.

Ⅴ. Do not make any display of affection for even your dearest friend.

Ⅵ. Avoid crossing the room alone, and never run, even if you feel embarrassed, and wish to cross quickly.

Ⅶ. When others are playing or singing, listen quietly and attentively.

Ⅷ. If you are obliged to leave the company at an earlier hour than the other guests, say so to your host in a low tone.

Ⅸ. If you remain until the usual hour for breaking up, go to your host before you leave the room, express the pleasure you have enjoyed, and bid them farewell.

 

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DINNER COMPANY OF GUESTS;

Dinner is a classic invitation you shall be sure to receive in your time at court. Nonetheless, you must follow some guidelines to not only seem well-bred but to help your hostess.

 

Ⅰ. Upon receiving an invitation for a dinner, answer it immediately, that way your host may know for how many guests they must provide.

Ⅱ. You should enter the house of your hostess from a quarter to half an hour earlier than the time appointed for dining.

Ⅲ. Immediately upon entering the designated room find your hostess, and speak to her first.

Ⅳ. Take the seat pointed out by your hostess, or the waiter, as soon as it is offered.

Ⅴ. Sit gracefully at the table; neither so close as to make your movements awkward nor so far away as to drag your food over your dress before it reaches your mouth.

Ⅵ. If, by the carelessness of your neighbors or the servants, you have a plate of soup, a glass of wine, or any dish intended for your mouth, deposited upon your dress, do not spring up, or make any exclamation.

Ⅶ. Gloves and mittens are no longer worn at tables, even at the largest dinner parties.

Ⅷ. Need I say that the knife is to cut your food with, and must never be used while eating?

Ⅸ. When conversing let your knife and fork rest easily upon your plate, even if still in your hand. Avoid holding them upright

Ⅹ. It is equally ill-bred to accept everything that is offered to you. Never take more than two vegetables; do not take a second plate of soup, pastry, or pudding.

Ⅺ. Never make noise in eating. To munch or smack the lips are vulgar faults.

Ⅻ. Sit quietly at the table, avoid stiffness, but, at the same time, be careful that you do not annoy others by your restlessness.

ⅩⅢ. If you are obliged to leave the company at an earlier hour than the other guests, say so to your host in a low tone.

ⅩⅣ. If you remain until the usual hour for breaking up, go to your host before you leave the room, express the pleasure you have enjoyed, and bid them farewell.

 

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BALLROOM FOR GUESTS;

Balls are one of the fanciest and hardest events for younger ladies to attend in court. Though guidelines are much like the Evening parties or Dinner party etiquette.

 

Ⅰ. As in every other case where hospitality is extended to you by invitation, you must send your answer as soon as possible, accepting or declining the civility.

Ⅱ. Your first duty, upon entering the room, is to speak to your hostess. After a few words of greeting, turn to the other guests.

Ⅲ. At a private ball, no lady will refuse an introduction to a gentleman. It is an insult to her hostess, implying that her guests are not gentlemen.

Ⅳ. Be very careful how you refuse to dance with a gentleman. A prior engagement will, of course, excuse you, but if you plead fatigue, or feel it, do not dance the set with another gentleman.

Ⅴ. It is best at a ball, to dance only every other dance, as over-fatigue, and probably a flushed face will follow too much dancing.

Ⅵ. No lady of taste will carry on a flirtation in a ballroom, to attract remark.

Ⅶ. Avoid confidential conversation in a ballroom.

Ⅷ. Be modest and reserved, but avoid bashfulness. It looks like a schoolgirl and is invariably awkward.

Ⅸ. No young lady should go to a ball, without the protection of a married lady, or an elderly gentleman.

Ⅹ. Never cross a ballroom alone.

 

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TABLE ETIQUETTE;

Table etiquette and dinner parties go hand in hand. You must know both to successfully be viewed as a polite person within the courts. As per the pattern, here are some basic guidelines;

 

Ⅰ. At breakfast or tea, if your seat is at the head of the table, you must, before taking anything upon your plate, fill a cup for each one of the family, and pass them around.

Ⅱ. After all the cups have been filled and passed round, you may take the bread, butter, and other food upon your plate.

Ⅲ. Avoid making any noise in eating, even if each meal is eaten in a solitary state.

Ⅳ. Never put large pieces of food into your mouth. Eat slowly, and cut your food into small pieces before putting it into your mouth.

Ⅴ. Use your fork, or spoon, never your knife, to put your food into your mouth.

     At dinner, hold in your left hand a piece of bread, and raise your meat or vegetables with the fork, holding the bread to prevent the pieces from slipping from the plate.

Ⅵ. Do not begin to eat until others at the table are ready to commence too.

Ⅶ. Sit easily in your chair, neither too near the table, nor too far from it, and avoid such tricks as putting your arms on the table, leaning back lazily in your chair, or playing with your knife, fork, or spoon.

Ⅷ. Never raise your voice, when speaking, any higher than is necessary.

Ⅸ. If you wish to cough or use your handkerchief, rise from the table, and leave the room.

Ⅹ. Never, when at the home table, leave it until the other members of the family are also ready to rise.

 

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CONDUCT IN THE STREET;

A lady’s conduct is never as noticed as when she is in the streets. Her dress, carriage, walk, will all be exposed to viewers; every passer-by will look at her, even if only for one glance; every unladylike action will be marked. Here are some basic guidelines;

 

Ⅰ. First your outfit. Wear what is becoming to yourself, and the only bow to fashion enough to avoid eccentricity.

Ⅱ. Wear no jewelry in the street except your watch and brooch. Jewelry is only suited for a full evening dress when all the other details unite to set it off.

Ⅲ. Arrange your dress before you leave the house! Nothing looks worse than to see a lady fussing over her dress in the street.

Ⅳ. Do not walk so fast! you are not chasing anybody! Walk slowly, gracefully!

Ⅴ. Do not swing your arms.

Ⅵ. Do not try to raise your skirts. It is better to soil them. (You were very foolish to wear white skirts this muddy day.)

Ⅶ. Don't hold your parasol so close to your face, nor so low down.

Ⅷ. Never stop to speak to a gentleman in the street.

Ⅸ. A lady who desires to pay strict regard to etiquette, will not stop to gaze in at the shop windows.

Ⅹ. Avoid "cutting" anyone in lines.

Ⅺ. If you do stop in the street, draw near the walls.

Ⅻ. Loud talking and laughing in the street are excessively vulgar.

ⅩⅢ. Never look back! It is excessively ill-bred.

ⅩⅣ. Never stare at anyone.

 

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LETTER WRITING;

It is, of course, impossible to lay down any distinct rule for the style of letter writing. Letter writing is, in fact, but the conversation carried on with the pen when distance or circumstances prevent the easier method of exchanging ideas, by spoken words.

 

Ⅰ. Write, therefore, as you would speak, where the person to whom your letter is addressed is seated beside you.

Ⅱ. Again, when introduced to a stranger, or conversing with one much older than yourself, your manner is respectful and dignified.

Ⅲ. Neatness is an important requisite in a letter. To send a fair, clean sheet, with the words written in a clear, legible hand.

Ⅳ. If you are in doubt about the correct spelling of a word, get a dictionary.

Ⅴ. Simplicity is a great charm in letter-writing.

 

Like everything, in style, depends upon the subject of the letter, and the person to whom it is addressed.

 

Ⅰ. Business Letters should be as brief as is consistent with the subject; clear and to the point. Say all that is necessary, in a plain, distinct language, and say no more.

Ⅱ. Letters of Compliment must be restricted, confined entirely to one subject.

Ⅲ. Letters of Congratulation demand a cheerful, pleasant style, and an appearance of great interest.

Ⅳ. Letters written to Gentlemen should be ceremonious and dignified.

Ⅴ. Letters of Enquiry, especially if they request a favor, should contain a few lines of compliment.

Ⅵ. Letters of Thanks for inquiries made, should be short, merely echoing the words of the letter they answer, and contain the answer to the question, with an acknowledgment of your correspondent's interest.

Ⅶ. Letters of Recommendation should be truthful, polite, and carefully considered.

Ⅷ. Letters of Advice should not be written unsolicited. hey will, in all probability, even when requested, be unpalatable, and should never be sent unless they can be of service.

Ⅸ. Letters of Excuse should be frank and graceful.

Ⅹ. Letters of Intelligence are generally the answer to letters of inquiry, or the statement of certain incidents or facts, interesting both to the writer and reader of the letter.

Ⅺ. Invitations are generally written in the third person, and this form is used where the acquaintance is very slight, for formal notes, and cards of compliment.

 

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GOOD HABITS;

These are simply good habits to add to your basic etiquette, for all circumstances, they can be used.

 

Ⅰ. Never point.

Ⅱ. Avoid exclamations.

Ⅲ. Avoid lounging attitudes, they are indelicate, except in your private apartment.

Ⅳ. Let the movements be easy and flexible.

Ⅴ. Let your demeanor be always marked by modesty and simplicity.

Ⅵ. Always select words calculated to convey an exact impression of your meaning.

Ⅶ. Let your articulation be easy, clear, correct in accent, and suited in tone and emphasis to your discourse.

Ⅷ. Avoid muttering, mouthing, stuttering, droning, guttural, nasal, or lisping pronunciation.

Ⅸ. Let your speech be neither too loud nor too low, but adjusted to the ear of your companion.

Ⅹ. Never indulge in uncommon words

 

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MISCELLANEOUS; 

There are many little pieces of rudeness, only too common, which, while they evince ill-breeding, and are many of them extremely annoying, yet they are met with every day, and in persons otherwise well-bred. As they come under no particular head, they will merely be mentioned here, as habits carefully to avoid.

 

Ⅰ. It is rude to look over the shoulder of a person who is either reading or writing, yet it is done every day.

Ⅱ. To have the hands on the hips, or with the arms crossed, while conversing, is exceedingly unlady-like.

Ⅲ. Avoid restless movements either with the hands, or feet.

Ⅳ. If you wish to make yourself agreeable to anyone, talk as much as you please about his or her affairs, and as little as possible about your own.

Ⅴ. Never whisper, or make any confidential communication in the company.

Ⅵ. Never lounge on a sofa, while there are those in the room, whose years give them a better claim to this sort of indulgence.

Ⅶ. Never tease a person to do what she has once declined.

Ⅷ. It is not polite to entertain a visitor with your family history or the events of your household.

Ⅸ. Never read in the company. You may open a book to look over the engravings if you will, but do not attend to the words until you are alone.

Ⅹ. Never jest upon serious subjects. Avoid scandal.

Ⅺ. Never act as if in a hurry.

Ⅻ. Never laugh at your wit.

ⅩⅢ. Do not lean your head against the wall.

ⅩⅣ. Never lean forward upon a table. Let neither hands nor arms rest there heavily.

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Penned by;

TH, Maisie Adelheid d’Arkent

 

Signed by;

TH, Maisie Adelheid of Sunholdt

Augustine Court Tutor

 

TH, Mary Casimira of Carrington

Lady of the Court

[libertyybelle 6187]

Amelia Margaret sat impressed and delighted that the court form was finally put into proper format.

[Dodeca 7]

3 hours ago, libbybelle said:

R

Amen.