SERVICES | To Ivan VIII

[Werew0lf 24181]

 

[In the Kingdom of Haense, where the kings’ peace was kept, the door to the palace-bedroom was flung open by a mystical gust of wind. A paper-origami of a bird flies into the room, sparkling lights, and landing onto the table with a small clutter. It begins to unfold neatly, without creases, and reveals a letter to His Majesty, Ivan VIII].

 

Your Majesty, the King of Haense,

 

I am writing to express my utmost respect and admiration for your extraordinary reign. Your unwavering wisdom, unshakeable courage, and unparalleled leadership have made you a shining beacon of excellence in the annals of history. 

 

This letter is written with the intention of a bold proposal, one that may seem unconventional to some, but I am confident that it will prove to be a shrewd and advantageous decision for your kingdom. As you are well aware, many mages have been known to bring more trouble than benefit to those who have welcomed them into their courts, or their land. It is said that you hold a certain distaste towards the magical-arts, and this is well-deserved. 

 

However, I am not your average mage, but someone of the greater-class of sorcery, a wizard! I do not partake in the arcane-arts, nor do I fancy myself a wizard who taps into the void. By letting me work as your court wizard, there is a foolproof guarantee that I will not blow up your castle from one of those flashy and dangerous explosive hoo-hah spells. On top of this, by employing my services as your court wizard, I believe that my unique perspective and approach could help to mitigate the risks associated with having a mage in your court.

 

Let me regale you with a story of how I became a wizard. Once upon a time, in a land far far away, I came across a wise-man in the forest who stated that he was a mad-king. This mad-king proposed that I would be able to garner unbelievable strength and power in wizardry if I consume silver for the next ten years. Surprisingly, after ten years, I had unlocked my latent power, but in return, my skin was filled with blue blemishes. That is the end of the story.

 

Please let me know kindly if you are willing to employ me, or speak to me in person to test out my sorcery. I am willing to submit to any tests, which obviously, includes … - villain testing (something to do with aurum and salt to see if I am one of the main antagonists). 

 

You can answer this letter by whispering into the small golden wizard-drawing on the bottom. 

 

[When any words are spoken into the wizard-drawing, it tips its wizard-hat, and the paper rolls up, blipping out of existence in yale-blue mist. If Ivan VIII could read wizard-language, he could see a faint text written in cursive that wrote 'member of the W1z$rd Dyn£sty' beneath the signature]. 

 

Signed,

 

Esior,

 the Golden Wizard