The-Last-Thing-He-Saw

[Animael 1500]

Spoiler

 

 

There were no words to describe his pain. The grief was all consuming. To be happy after witnessing such a thing, how could he ever fulfill such an unfair request? To the very end she had believed herself unworthy. Not enough. Talking as though getting to know her was some great thing, some great favour.

 

Had he done enough? No, he couldn't have- because if he had, why would she still have said such things in her final moments? What could he have done differently to have prevented this? Why couldn't he see what was happening right before his eyes?

 

In this moment, he chose what the last thing would be, that he would ever see. It would be her. The person he had completely and utterly failed, and wished more than anything, would still be alive. Or at least died knowing that despite her curse, she as a person was a blessing.

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

He couldn't see again, not with his eyes. He didn't want to. Those eyes- the last thing they would ever see, would be her. But he needed to see, too, he needed to not be impaired. Because if he couldn't fulfill his duty- wasn't that the same as saying that the shugonate was worthless to him? If the shugonate was worthless, why did she die?

 

Desperation rattled through his body. A mixture of grief- anxiety- hopelessness. What was he now? What would he do? He needed to be able to see, to be useful- to do as she wanted. He needed it- but he also never wanted to see again. Not with his eyes. Never again.

 

He had said that it would heal. That his wound would heal, that he'd likely see again- did he hope for that secretly- that he'd fail his own self imposed punishment?