Dj_Avx5's Lotc App

[DJ_AVX5. 0]

Out-Of-Character

Minecraft Account Name:

DJ_AVX5

How old are you?:

I am a mature 13 year-old

Time-Zone/Country of Residence:

I am currently in PST (Pacific Time Zone) and my Country of Residence is the United States of America

Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?:

Yes, I do

Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself:

I am a seventh grader living in California. I have black hair and brown eyes. My family is originally from the Philippines but I was born in America.

How much time could you be on the server weekly?:

I could be on for most days of the week, especially the weekends. But with homework and school, I wouldn't be on a lot on Monday-Friday

What do you know about Roleplaying? Give a definition of what it means to you:

To me, Roleplaying is like a play. You choose a character to be, and you do whatever the character would do. But really, it's a non-scripted play. You make it up as you go. Or, you improvise.

What experience have you had in Roleplaying, if any?:

This is my first shot at role-playing. The closest that I have ever gotten to role-playing is writing a story in someone else's point of view. But that is probably not considered Role-Playing.

In your own Words, define what the act of Meta-Gaming is:

Using out of character information as in-character information.

In your own Words, define what the act of Power-Gaming is:

My definition of power-gaming is when a player uses emotes to force an action upon another character without giving them a chance to respond. If I went up to somebody and told them I was about to assassinate them, then immediately killed them, I'd be power-gaming.

What do you expect this server will be like?:

I expect the server would have a nice community and great builds.

What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?:

I used to play on the Crafted-Movie server (they are on YouTube) but I left because, things got too crowded, I would always lose my house and things just went out of whack. But I do currently play on other servers such as GodWorld and my own server.

Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules?:

I have read the rules and I have agreed and understood them.

Do you promise to abide by said rules, and laws? This includes the Server, Forum, and Teamspeak set Rules:

I do indeed promise to abide to server rules and laws.

How did you hear about us?:

I heard about you from my Cousin. He told me all about you and it sounded very, very interesting, so i decided to check you guys out!

Have you voted for the Lord of the Craft on Minestatus? Which vote number were you?:

I have and I am vote number 3752 Have you posted this application on our minecraft forum thread yet? If not, just finish it up on here and then copy + paste is over there. (http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/832121-%E2%96%91%E2%96%92%E2%96%93-the-lord-of-the-craft-%E2%96%93%E2%96%92%E2%96%91-enter-the-world-of-asulon-o-f-f-i-c-i-a-l-l-y-t-h-e-n-o-1-r-p-s-e-r-v-e-r/):

No, I haven't

In-Character:

Character Name:

My name is Jason Loyola

What Race are you?:

I am a proud and serving Human

What Sub-Race are you? (note, you aren’t required to have a sub-race):

I am a Northerner

Biography (Please make this at least 2 paragraphs long. This must include the history of your character and his life as well as age, appearance and personality, etc.):

When Jason was 34 years old, his “supposed” parents unfortunately passed away in a fierce battle against bandits in the Far East. Before his “supposed” parents died, his mother told him he was never really their son, stating that they had found him in some old burnt down ruins of a village and raised him as their own. Deeply thinking on that last statement from her, he left towards a near by town, upon arriving he went and asked one of the town’s folk on a bandit attack on an old village. The man told him that the town of Snowy Rock, exclaiming on the amount of their the original town’s folk who died in the attack. He told of how the Loyola family members had lost their mother in the barn fire during the chaos and of how they had lost their youngest son Jason Loyola. Shocked and baffled by this statement he asked the man if they still lived here, the old man said “The father passed away around a week ago, and his son left to journey to the lands of Aegis not long after he had passed.

In hope of finding his possible lost brother he gathered some supplies and set out to travel to the central region of Aegis. While he was wandering through the woods on his way there he was greeted by two people who appeared armed and hostile, and soon after they for his belongings, Jason attempted to reach for his bow to fend them off, but as he did he was struck in the back of the head. When Jason came to he was in the Cloud Temple of Aegis with a few monks tending to his injuries. They had told him that they had taken all his belongings and had beaten him and left him to rot, luckily they had arrived. After they finished healing his last few injuries he asked them of where he was they told him he was at the cloud Temple of Aegis, relived that he had actually made it here due to his bit of bad luck he thanked them and set off.

While he traveled in Aegis he built a small cabin in the woods, and soon after the world fell to chaos with the undead threat he fled along with the rest of the people to the verge where they stayed till the ships were ready to set sail, he went aboard the human waited along it’s deck till everything was set to launch. When they had launched and were mid-way there Jason stumbled off the ship with a plank of wood that he was leaning on. He drifted off on the plank keeping him afloat at was separated from everyone else with them not realizing there was a man overboard due to their minor festivities. Soon after Jason passed out on the plank and waking up along the coast of Asulon where he wandered through the woods tired and hungry seeing a few robed figures he rushed towards seeing a first real sign of civilization, he asked them to go and point a way to a place of safety in which he was pointed to the Cloud temple of Asulon, and from there he left in search of his brother.

Jason Loyola is a strong fighter. He will to anything to protect anybody that is being harassed or mistreated. He likes anybody who is nice. If he starts to live in a city, he will do anything to protect it. If anybody hurts him in any way, he will rage on them. He is an 80-year-old man. Even though his actual age is quite old he bears the appearance and personality of a 30-year-old man. He has an often craving for meats mostly after living of hunting for awhile. He is usually found trying to find new towns and cities. He is a trained archer and swordsman. He wears a dark brown hood and has a bow (the weapon) on his back. He has a goatee surrounding his mouth and has black hair. He is said he looks almost exactly like his brother.

What is your Character's ambitions?:

My characters ambitions are to fight and serve for anybody that takes me in. I am also willing to protect anyone, and to find my lost brother.

What is your character’s favorite tool? (sword, pickaxe, shovel, etc):

My character's favorite tool has to be the Bow and Arrow. He likes it because it is very accurate and long ranged.

What is one of your Character's most skilled talents?

My characters most skilled talents are Archery, Swordsmanship and mining.

A screenshot of your skin (must be in proper format):

Other Information about your Character:

My character is a strong and fighting archer. He likes to explore, too. He has a curious mind and is very nice.

Open-Response-Questions

Whilst traveling from the Cloud Temple you see a small halfling, being harassed by two armed warriors. They appear to be trying to steal money from him, how does your character respond?

My character would respond by whipping out his bow and shooting the harassers. I would then have the halfling follow me to my home where i would mend to any injuries, then help him get back to his home. If needed, I would bring a map, materials for a tent, and some food. If needed, we would spend the night in the tent. In the morning, we would go very far, to find the halflings home.

Your character wanders into Alras, and comes across a small stall, behind which a well dressed man is standing. He’s offering various wares, the merchant turns to you and says in a posh accent " 'ello there, what can I do you for today?" What is your character response?

Hi there! May I see what you are selling? Then I would go and think about his list of goods and essentials. If anything was of use to me, I would go and buy some items, bring them back to my home and come back.

Whilst wandering in the wilds, your character comes across a small hut, which looks abandoned. Inside it you see a chest containing a few iron bars, and a golden sword. How would your character respond?:

He would leave them alone, because it could be somebody else's and he does not steal. But he is willing to bring the info back to any town-members and friends that need it. He would then lead them to the hut, where they would take the items.

Hungry and lost in the wilderness, you stumble across a small trading camp nestled among the forest, they greet you you in the common tongue, how do you respond?

He would ask to stay and ask for food and directions back to his home. He would then build a small tent to spend the night. He would also ask for food and when morning arrived, he would set off.

You hear word that bandits occupy the road outside the town in which you have been staying. The town guard have gathered, and are asking for assistance to help eliminate them. The leader of the party is offering a reward for any who offer their support. How does your character act on this information?:

Jason would ask what they did in particular. Then he would help in any way he could. He would go out and find these evil-dooers and stop them of their actions. He would bring them to the town, where they could do as they please to the bandits.

[James Undercroft 129]

I am very sorry, but your application has been moved to the denied section of the forums. There are numerous reasons for this, all of which I have included in my feedback below this message. In the mean time there is an abundant source of information, stories, guides and other helpful tips to get you on your way to being accepted; all you need to do is look around. I would suggest the lord of the craft wiki and application submissions section of the forums to start off your little quest to make the best application. Good luck!

The reasons that I have denied you are:

Your definition of metagaming is lacking an example and is not complete.

Your current definition encompasses talking about real life issues in character, which metagaming most definately is not. Re-work your definition and show an example to prove that you understand the definition you give us.

Formatting.

While not something I would soley deny you for, we like to see a nice cleanly set out application so that it is easy for us to read. Make sure that there are spaces between all of the questions and answers.

Your biography needs a lot of work.

A lot of your biography does not make any sense. I shall break down your biography for you so you can get an idea of what I am talking about.

When Jason was 34 years old, his “supposed” parents unfortunately passed away in a fierce battle against bandits in the Far East. Before his “supposed” parents died, his mother told him he was never really their son, stating that they had found him in some old burnt down ruins of a village and raised him as their own.

This is a very vauge and unclear section. You did not describe how exactly they died or what they were doing in this battle, and then you jump back in time to before they died and begin to talk about how he was never their son in the first place. As a 34 year old, your character would not normally be with its mother all that often as it would be a full adult. Why didn't your parents tell you sooner than 34 years old? You also did not explain how your character survived in a "burnt down village". A village to be "burned down" and be "ruins" would imply that the village had been at least been attacked the night previous. How on earth would a baby survive a full day/night and not be killed from the chill/bandits/wolves/other wild animals or looters. Why didn't the baby be destroyed in the fires in the first place?

The man told him that the town of Snowy Rock, exclaiming on the amount of their the original town’s folk who died in the attack. He told of how the Loyola family members had lost their mother in the barn fire during the chaos and of how they had lost their youngest son Jason Loyola. Shocked and baffled by this statement he asked the man if they still lived here, the old man said “The father passed away around a week ago, and his son left to journey to the lands of Aegis not long after he had passed.

If the town was in ruins, why did your characters father survive? Why didn't he take the baby with him? How did the father survive so long in any case? How was there this other son, when the rest of the village was aparently in ruins?

If anybody hurts him in any way, he will rage on them.

You cannot "rage on" someone, there are multiple other words to describe the concept you are going for.

He is an 80-year-old man. Even though his actual age is quite old he bears the appearance and personality of a 30-year-old man.

Extremely unlikely and improbably. Unless you can justify this there is no way you can say that you are what you say. You cannot use "magic" or blessing of any sort in this case.

There are many other errors, so I have only pointed out a select few. Go over your biography, re-write a lot and then re-post.

Your ambitions are underdeveloped.

You need to show some advanced thought processes. What would your character like to do in the near and distant futures? What is your character planning? You also need to justify your decisions. Why does your character want to do this?

Your answers to the favourite tool/best skill questions are underdeveloped.

You need to justify why you have chosen the choices you have. It is all well and good that your character can run really fast, or is light on their feet: but why?

Also you did not explain how your character got to learn how to use a bow in your biography, so it does not make sense to just randomly add "Oh, he is good with a bow" in this section.

Your answers to the Open Response questions need a lot of improvement.

Instead of describing what your character would do, you need to assume that your character is in the situation and acting as they would in that situation. You need to describe a scene of RP. This means that you cannot write “If this happens, then my character would do that.” As this shows that you are not Roleplaying, you are answering the question from what you think that your character might do. You need to show us that you know who your character is, you know what the situation is and you know how your character is going to react.

This also means that you need to write in full RP. For example:

Josh talks to the shopkeeper, buys a few apples, pays the shop keeper and leaves. X BAD

Josh walks up to the man standing behind the rough oaken market stand. The sounds of a busy market can be heard all around him. An annoying fly buzzes around his head, so he absent-mindedly begins to inefficiently swat it away. “Ah, greetings shopkeeper! I was just browsing your wares.” The shopkeeper nods at Josh and then turns towards another customer to attempt to assist them the way all market shopkeepers must. Suddenly Josh felt a slight tugging sensation on his belt. He was about to brush it off as nothing, perhaps just someone bumping into him until he realised his belt was slightly lighter. He noticed a man beginning to run off in the opposite direction of himself. He glanced down to see that his coin purse was missing. He put two and two together and then shouted at the top of his lungs. “STOP THEIF!”… √ GOOD!

We expect that you write in full RP and that you write a full paragraph or more for each question.

If you have any questions about my feedback, or would like to create some constructive criticism about the way I give feedback (I.E am I being TOO blunt, or am I coming across rude) then please send me a message! I take all questions, none are stupid! :)

[James Undercroft 129]

Moved to Denied Forum