My Second App

[Watyll 1104]

Out-Of-Character

Minecraft Account Name:watyll

How old are you?:14

Time-Zone/Country of Residence:USA

Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?:yes

Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself:Hard worker and a nice person

How much time could you be on the server weekly?:9-13 hours

What do you know about Roleplaying? Give a definition of what it means to you:Roleplaying to me means the ability to start another life, a better one usually.

What experience have you had in Roleplaying, if any?:I have played on another role-play server and am involved in my schools acting program.

In your own Words, define what the act of Meta-Gaming is:Meta gaming is using knowledge your character doesn't know or isn't supposed to.

In your own Words, define what the act of Power-Gaming is:An example of power gaming:watyll prepares to unleash an application attack. Application team takes application and snaps it over knee.

What do you expect this server will be like?:Hopefully, the only good role-play server on mine craft, i can't find any other ones.

What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?:Age of fatality, the staff was lazy and incompetent.

Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules?:Yes.

Do you promise to abide by said rules, and laws? This includes the Server, Forum, and Teamspeak set Rules:Of course.

How did you hear about us?:I am on a quest for a good role-play mine craft server

Have you previously made an Application? If so could you link us to your last Application?:Yes and yes. http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/51253-my-app/page__p__391790#entry391790

In-Character:

Character Name:Grimherst

What Race are you?:Dwarf

What Sub-Race are you? (note, you aren’t required to have a sub-race):

Biography (Please make this at least 2 paragraphs long. This must include the history of your character and his life as well as age, appearance and personality, etc.):Grim was a simple dwarf child of the frostbeard clan, until an orc raiding party attacked his village and kidnapped him. Due to their belief that the young are the future, an orc shaman adopted him. Grim developed a gift for tongues and was trained in weapons and schooled in history. Then his adopted father died. A group of orcs who had never approved of Grim chased him out of the village. He wandered his way back to Kal' Urguan, where he was accepted. He was always a little different though, and doesn't have the dwarf natural greed.

What is your Character's ambitions?:To become a high ranking officer in the dwarf army, and to serve his people as best he can.

What is your character’s favorite tool? (sword, pickaxe, shovel, etc):sword.

What is one of your Character's most skilled talents?Battle strategy

A screenshot of your skin (must be in proper format):I'm dead serious i can't post this. My computer absolutely won't let me.

Other Information about your Character:Does whatever is best for his people and again has a gift for tongues and diplomacy.

Open-Response-Questions

Whilst traveling from the Cloud Temple you see a small halfling, being harassed by two armed warriors. They appear to be trying to steal money from him, how does your character respond?Grim walks up and asks them to stop. They laugh at his stature and he lets them taste cold steel. He calms the halfling down and buys him a drink.

Your character wanders into Alras, and comes across a small stall, behind which a well dressed man is standing. He’s offering various wares, the merchant turns to you and says in a posh accent " 'ello there, what can I do you for today?" What is your character response?Ah well, I'm afeared i'm not looking tuh buy anything right now.

Whilst wandering in the wilds, your character comes across a small hut, which looks abandoned. Inside it you see a chest containing a few iron bars, and a golden sword. How would your character respond?:Grim looks into the chest and sees the valuables. He looks around. Grim looks into the chest again, then closes it and walks away, leaving the hut behind forever.

Hungry and lost in the wilderness, you stumble across a small trading camp nestled among the forest, they greet you you in the common tongue, how do you respond?Oh me lords i am in debt tuh you ferever if ye would fetch me some food and drink.

You hear word that bandits occupy the road outside the town in which you have been staying. The town guard have gathered, and are asking for assistance to help eliminate them. The leader of the party is offering a reward for any who offer their support. How does your character act on this information?:"Human, I will help ye" Grim himself kills the bandit leader and is offered the full reward, but he only takes what he needs for food, drink, and lodgings.

[James Undercroft 129]

I am very sorry, but your application has been moved to the denied section of the forums. There are numerous reasons for this, all of which I have included in my feedback below this message. In the mean time there is an abundant source of information, stories, guides and other helpful tips to get you on your way to being accepted; all you need to do is look around. I would suggest the lord of the craft wiki and application submissions section of the forums to start off your little quest to make the best application. Good luck!

The reasons that I have denied you are:

Your have used incorrect formatting of the application.

You need to re-copy the application format. Make sure you have copied the text from the white box and not anywhere else. Also make sure that you do not delete anything in [these square brackets] as they are vital to keep the colour, boldness and size of the text. If you are having trouble because your entire application turns out in funny colours, make sure that you are writing your answers on a line underneath the question, as this is a common error and can mess up the formatting of your application.

Your grammar makes sections of your application hard to understand.

While grammar is not a vital part to becoming accepted, we require a certain standard of grammar to be used so that you can be understood during an RP interaction. When posting your application please check and double check what you have written to make sure it is of the best standard possible. Some other solutions are to use a word processing program which spell check capabilities or to use www.spellcheckplus.com . The latter is a very useful website which gives detailed descriptions on how to impove upon your grammar and spelling, without the option of just fixing something with a single (or double) click.

Your definition of Roleplaying is not what we are after.

Your current definition of Roleplaying displays to me that you do not fully understand what Roleplaying is all about. It is either too short and needs expansion, or it contains information which goes against what Roleplaying is all about. Please go back and so some research as to what Roleplaying is. I needn’t remind you that this is a Roleplaying server, if you do not know how to role-play or do not show evidence that you are keen to learn how to role-play I suggest you find a Minecraft server better suited to your needs.

You did not give valid examples of RP, or you did not describe how your examples are RP.

You need to give us specific examples on how the games or locations you have talked about pertain to an RP environment.

You need to expand on your both of your powergaming and metagaming definitions.

Currently your definitions are very basic. You need to write more than just a sentence or two. You need to really describe what these things are and how they relate to role-play. Also remember to never plagiarise and to always include an example to display your understanding of the concept.

You need to have a character last name.

Unless you have a specific reason for why you do not have a last name of your character, you need to write a last name to show that you have put some in-depth thought processes into developing and creating your character.

Your biography has a lot of errors.

Your displayed orcs incorrectly. Please do your research on a race that you wish to include, before assuming that they are something which they are not.

Your biography is by far too cliché. Having parents or villages kill/destroyed by bandits/orcs is overused and not creative. This is a role-play server and therefore a creative server in the sense that you have to use your imagination to function correctly. For you to display this in your application it needs to have unique elements.

You have not included any (or much) lore from the world of Asulon or the lore you did include contradicts that of Asulon. I recommend that you do a lot of research as to what you race is and how they act, as well as towns and places that you could use in your biography. I would also like to note that the entire server escaped from Aegis about 25 in game years ago to move to Asulon, I suggest you do some research on this point. Do note this is not Skyrim or Lord of the Rings, we have our own universe with our own races. For ideas and lore you can look on the Lord of the Craft wiki (link on the main page), the Role-play or History sections of the forums or better yet; talk to the people themselves. Just join in our Team Speak channel and ask around! We welcome new people :)

Your biography is not substantial enough. You need to write more about your character, write more detail and more depth. If your biography is less than two paragraphs long or is a bit too short it will be automatically denied. You need to write a minimum of two paragraphs (which in themselves must contain at least five full sentences).

You need to complete the entire biography, detailing all your characters history, age, personality and description. We also like to see little role-play quirks such as habits like the constant brushing back of a fringe, or the scratching of an itchy palm.

Every single thing in your application must have a justification. For example:

John’s father taught him swordsman ship and the lay of the land. X BAD

John’s father was a retired swordsman in the Oren military, after the undead attacks and the moving to Asulon he decided it was time that he lay down the sword for more important matters, family. Now days John’s father teaches John the way of the sword, not so that he can join any particular military, but so that he can defend himself for future experiences to come. √GOOD

Your ambitions are underdeveloped.

You need to show some advanced thought processes. What would your character like to do in the near and distant futures? What is your character planning? You also need to justify your decisions. Why does your character want to do this? Things such as planning to kill all bandits, orcs, humans etc. are unacceptable ambitions as this would require a villainous activity.

Your answers to the favourite tool/best skill questions are underdeveloped.

You need to justify why you have chosen the choices you have. It is all well and good that your character can run really fast, or is light on their feet; but why?

You need to embed the screenshot of your skin.

For me to accept you I must be able to view your skin as I need to judge whether it is acceptable for this server, reason being if someone joins this server, but do not show their skin but they have a Tron skin on I would be in big trouble, but for me to be able to view your skin it must also be embedded. The reason your skin needs to be embedded is because recently people have been linking some dangerous websites to where the image of their skin has been hosted. To avoid this we request that the image is directly linked to this website either as an upload or being embedded into the post itself. You can do this by following this tutorial:

1. Go in-game and press the “F5” button TWICE. (Not once as this will show the back of your character)

2. Take a screen shot by pressing the "PrntScr" button on a windows computer or press F2 on the keyboard, then go to start => Run and type in this: %appdata%/.minecraft/screenshots

3. Find the screenshot and open it in an image manipulation program such as Paint or Gimp.

4. Crop the image so that only the area close to your skin (including the skin) remains.

5. Save the file and go to tinypic.com

6. Upload the file

7. Click ONCE on the text box underneath: "IMG Code for Forums & Message Boards"

8. Right click and copy the entire text

9. Paste in your new application

*Note* If you want a tutorial for Macs, please send me a message on the forums.

Some or all of your answers to the Open Response questions need a lot of improvement.

Instead of describing what your character would do, you need to assume that your character is in the situation and acting as they would in that situation. You need to describe a scene of RP. This means that you cannot write “If this happens, then my character would do that.” As this shows that you are not Roleplaying, you are answering the question from what you think that your character might do. You need to show us that you know who your character is, you know what the situation is and you know how your character is going to react.

This also means that you need to write in full RP. For example:

Josh talks to the shopkeeper, buys a few apples, pays the shop keeper and leaves. X BAD

Josh walks up to the man standing behind the rough oaken market stand. The sounds of a busy market can be heard all around him. An annoying fly buzzes around his head, so he absent-mindedly begins to inefficiently swat it away. “Ah, greetings shopkeeper! I was just browsing your wares.” The shopkeeper nods at Josh and then turns towards another customer to attempt to assist them the way all market shopkeepers must. Suddenly Josh felt a slight tugging sensation on his belt. He was about to brush it off as nothing, perhaps just someone bumping into him until he realised his belt was slightly lighter. He noticed a man beginning to run off in the opposite direction of himself. He glanced down to see that his coin purse was missing. He put two and two together and then shouted at the top of his lungs. “STOP THEIF!”… √ GOOD!

We expect that you write in full RP and that you write a full paragraph or more for each question.

You powergamed and godmodded. One does not simply kill bandits. You need to write some REALISTIC rp. Chances are these bandits will kill YOU/knock YOU unconscious. Bandits are players and are very powerful characters. If you are by yourself in-game and you try to just kill bandits you will be banned for no-rp killing (read the rules) or at the very least completely destroyed by the bandits whom have had a lot of combat experience since they are BANDITS. We encourage RP pvp on this server, which means each party will demonstrate their actions through emotes. When responding to this situation you need to write DETAILED and DESCRIPTIVE responses. This means no "slices through the bandits neck" but write what your character aimed for, how much force he put in, what weapon he was using, how the bandits responded, what tools they are using, how they used them, how they blocked/parried/dodged, their skills and abilities. You have so much to write, this is what we expect of you.

This is the BEST roleplaying minecrat server and as such you need to be on par with the rest of the server in terms of RP skill. Those who display sub-standard RP skills should not be allowed onto the server lest they make everyone else's minecraft experience bad.

If you have any questions about my feedback, or would like to create some constructive criticism about the way I give feedback (I.E am I being TOO blunt, or am I coming across rude) then please send me a message! I take all questions, none are stupid! :) You are not allowed to apply again for a full 24 hours.

[James Undercroft 129]

Moved to Denied Forum