[Denied]Malrok Adil'akal (3Rd)

[orangeboy2 0]

I hope this comes at the right time I dont have the same time zone as you do so I have to try to remember when I posted (and I really wasn't paying attention to the time)

 

Out of Character Information

 

Minecraft account name: Orangeboy2.

 

How old are you: 15 years old.

 

Time zone: Central.

 

Have you read, understand and agree to all the rules?: Yes.

 

What previous experience have you had in roleplaying?: I have played and currently play; D&D 2nd and 3rd edition, paranoia, Warhammer 40K Only War, Fiasco, World of Darkness, (all of those were Pen and paper RPG's even though you probably havent heard of most of them they exist) and several crappy minecraft roleplay servers where i was the only one who roleplayed.

 

How did you hear about the Lord of the Craft?: It was recomended to me by Destinator8, and later by Shadowhaven2 who recently joined the server.
 

List any applications you have previously made for the server:

http://www.lordofthe...kal-submission/

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/83800-malrok-adil-akal-submission-2nd/

Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above): Yes
 

Have you read the Elven lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: Yes.

 

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: Playing an assigned role as if you lived in their time and place and acting as the person you are represent would instead of yourself.
Meta-gaming: Using knowledge that you would not know as your role, example- I know that my worst enemy Borlin has just left the server so now I can attack his house with no possiblity of being caught.(Assuming I had been a vilinous person)
Power-emoting: Doing something that a player cannot counter or avoid, example- I swing my sword and chop your head off, by adding the "I chop your head off" he cannot still be alive nor can he block the swing, he is already dead.



In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Malrok Adil-Akal (last name means desire valuable in elvish)

Current Age: 73

Sub-race (if any): Dark elf



Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):

 

    When he was but a boy of 15 his father, a very proud man named Malacan Adil-Akal, told him how they were ther true heir's of the great Malin one of the four brothers that first settled in this world. Although they lived mostly in poverty Malacan proved that they were related by showing his son a locket that had an "M" carved into it. He told Malrok that it was once Malin's and he had given it to his firstborn son, the first of the dark elves, in secret to show the true heir of his bloodline. He also told that that was why all of their ancestors first names started with Mal but could never be Malin to avoid insulting his name. He then told Malrok that they had to keep it a secret for if the Council of that time ever found out about the ring he would be killed and the ring stolen.

     As Malrok approached the age of 30 his father took him to an acadamy, after his normal schooling in reading and writing, to train as a fighter and archer for two years, learning the basics of the bow and and advanced sword techniques. If they were the true heirs of Malin, Malacan said, they should be able to use the sword and bow as well as he could. Malacan told his son that generations of stupid elves had squandered their wealth several hundred years before, and that was why they were poor. By the time Malrok was 50 he didn't really believe his fathers tale anymore. At age  61 Malrok went off to start his own life as a gaurd for hire at local taverns. About that time Malacan started going to the tavern more and more, sometimes to see his son, sometimes just to drink. After several years when Malrok was 71, he got drunk enough to start boasting about how he was the true heir of Malin, and showed off his ring in full hearing and sight of one of the Council's gaurds. He shouted the whole story before Malrok could calm him down. Three days later he was murdered and the ring stolen.

     This enraged him, convincing him beyond all doubt that his father was right about the whole thing. The Council had heard of him and had him murdered and the ring stolen! Unable to stand living full time in a city whose leaders had murdered his family he left and traveled for 2 years only returning briefly every so often to visit long time friends. As he traveled he vowed to restore power of the line of Malin, bring back the family's lost fortunes, and most importantly, find his fathers lost ring so he can prove that he is the Heir of Malin.
 

Ambitions for the Future: Become wealthy, find the lost ring (something i will do until the day I die as i will never find it) and try to become a powerful and influential figure in the kingdoms to live up to the name of Malin.

 

Personality: Generaly dark and angry, always looking to increase political power and make a coin or two.

 

Skills: Skill with sword, skill with bow, reading, writing

 

Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): Black skin blue eyes, wearing black clothes, long white hair. Could not attach picture, explanation at bottom.

Any other details you wish to share about your character: He will try to gain money and increase political power any way he can but not illegally as he believes that the Council are looking for him to exterminate the last of his line and he would not want to be brought before them. Also his father was slightly insane, creating the ring himself, we are in no means a decendant of Malin, my father simply wished he was an influential figure so created that lie.

 

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
 
 

1. As you walk through the deep forests you hear the sound of whispering and snickering. Upon inspection you realize that a group of High Elves are mocking a small Wood Elf child. How do you react?


Answer:  I really dont care that they are mocking a child. I would look at the dress and age of the child. If he was dressed in luxery clothes and was very young (10 or less) I would come up to him and say, "where do you live child?"

"I dont know the adress" he snifeled

"That's ok just lead me there" I said kindly

"Oh look the poor baby needs sombody to protect him, how adorable" says one high elf

I ignore him as I follow the child away.

"Right here" the child says some time later.

"Ok go inside I will talk to your parents"
"Thank you for returning him" the child's father says to me

"It was no problem" I said

"Here take these coins as a token of my gratitude"

"Thank you kind sir" I say as I leave leave the house hiding a broad smile

 

2. Whilst wandering through the Elven forests you come across a frail old man with a walking stick. He collapses in front of you, falling to the ground with a sharp thud. Out of his pocket falls a small pouch of gold coins, which hits the ground and splits open spreading coins across the pathway. The man lies there, defenseless - what do you do?


Answer: I help the old man up and give him all the gold back.

"Are you ok sir?"

"yes I'm alright just give me a second"

"ok"

As he recovers I fashon a crude bag out of some scraps of cloth in my pack.

"here, it isnt much but it will do until you can buy a new one"

"Thank you"

"Where  are you traveling to?"

"Oh just the village a mile or so down the road"

" I will giude you there"

"You dont have-"

"I insist"

I guide him down the road to the village and as i start to leave he stuffs a few coins into my hand and says "Here take this for your troubles"

"Thank you sir" I reply



3. Whilst traversing the Elven Woodlands, you come across a small clearing in which a colored carriage sits. A trader stands outside of it and calls you over, telling you of his wares. He points out that his carriage sells just about everything, and that he's willing for you to haggle for a price. What does your character do? (Please include:- item, haggling for prices and the discussion involved).



Answer:

I come over to the man. "Good Morning sir" I say looking at his goods.

"Good Morning to you" he replys.

I realize that though I am not hungry I have run out of food, so I say "How much would it be for those three apples and that there loaf of bread?"

"It would be 20 minas sir, but as you are acting like a gentelman and not the savages I usually deal with it will be only 18 minas for you."

"18 minas! Isn't that a little excessive good sir? I would think it would be only 12 minas."

"Sir yes I would buy them for 12 minas usually but I would like to make a profit this day so I will have to charge at least 15 minas."

"Glad to do business with you sir."

 

(Note, I did not know actuall prices so these prices might be way off)





Also It says "Error this upload has failed" when I try to attach my picture... is there a way I could msg it to an admin or something because I cannot attach it or paste it in for some reason, it is different from my last one so you cant just look at that one.

 

 

 

One last thing to say about this submission, if you dont know what "heir" means, which I dont think Aiden knew when he denied my last sumbmission, It has several definitions and what I take it for is this:

 

A person inheriting and continuing the legacy of a predecessor

or if you dont like that one how about

A person who inherits or is entitled to inherit the rank, title, or position of another.

 

So Aiden when you said, as one of your reasons to deny me last application, "In your biography, you state that your character is the true heir to malin. The problem with this is that all elves can trace their ancestry back to malin, so all elves are his descendants, so this needs to be fixed in your next application." It really didnt relate to the fact that I am an Heir not just a decendant.

Although Aiden I do thank you for making that gramical correction to my name pointing out that it should be Adil'akal not Adil-akal

 

[ski_king3 0]

Under Review

 

 

 

You did not wait 24 hours before re-posting your application. You must always wait the full 24 hours before re-posting.

 

Unfortunately, it also appears you did not follow all of the suggestions made to you by Aiden when he reviewed your previous application. For one, as he said before, every elf is a descendant of Malin. He did not have any "chosen bloodline" which would constitute a special heir. Also, it seems you are trying to insinuate your character is of some sort of special blood, much like a figure of nobility. This is not allowed under server rules.

 

If, however, you clarify in the bio of your next application that this is not actually true, and merely a delusion by your character's father, then it would be perfectly acceptable. Having the perception that your character is of some special bloodline when no such bloodline exists could make for highly interesting roleplay.

 

Also, as Aiden said, if you want the last name to be grammatically correct elven, it would be Akal'Adil. However, that's up to you.

 

Additionally, please next time leave a link to the application posted on the Minecraft forums.

 

If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me. You may reapply in 24 hours.

[ski_king3 0]

Moved to Denied Forum