[Denied][Human] Turian_

[Turian5 0]

Out-Of-Character Information
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name:turian_
How old are you?:18
Time-Zone: 2+GMT
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?:yes
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?:I was in a rpg server. Lived a pretty good life then the server was shutdown.
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: From Planetminecraft.
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server:
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above):http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/832121-the-lord-of-the-craft-enter-the-world-of-anthos-officially-t-h-e-1-roleplay-server/page__st__2680
Have you read the Human lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?:Yes

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing:Acting in videogames
Meta-gaming: Getting info outside the game same time you are online.
Power-emoting: Emoting Braking the law and the rules.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Agon Ranser Pajutaka
Current Age:20
Sub-race (if any):
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):Agon was an orphan. That had a Taste for adventure and puzzles he dreamed to be a powerful mage or learning the secrets of the wild. At age of 19 he left the orphanage with a need for adventure.
Ambitions for the Future: Find a mage to study under or to go to the elven capital.
Personality:Brave Smart and a little bit foolish and very funny.
Skills: very talented woodsman.  
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin):Looks like a hillbilly. (but only because the orphanage had no good clothes.) 

Any other details you wish to share about your character:

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
____

1. Whilst in the mighty human capital you notice a dark-clothed figure stealthily making his way towards the Emperor’s palace - he is clearly up to no good. There are guards within shouting distance - what do you do?

Answer: I go to the man and ask what is he doing. He takes his knife and try's to stab me. I dodged and he runs away. I shout to the guard's and i know they will take  care of it.


2. Whilst wandering in the deep oak forest you come across a large clearing, in which sits a small cobbled cottage. Outside it stands an unstable old man armed with a small iron blade, surrounded by two heavily armed bandits - they appear to be threatening him. You are armed with leather armour and an iron longsword, how do you react?

Answer:I go behind them they don't seem to notice me and i stabbed the first one in the back. the other one doesn't notice it in time. and the other one die's by my hand too. The old man thank's me.

3. You are standing within the mighty human capital when you notice a small man standing behind a colourful stall. You approach the stall and notice that the man is selling a variety of general goods - he says that he is selling just about anything and that he has no set prices. He is willing to allow you to haggle and choose prices. What do you do? (Explain: your haggling, items of choice and the discussion that happens).Answer:i walk to the old man and i ask him:doe you have any bow's. The man: Yes i have a good one infact a very good one an elven bow (now i start to get interested). Me: one diamond for that. The man: here you go(whilst taking the diamond). Me:thank's and a year's worth of pork with seven gold bar's. The man: oh um you want that in portion's. Me: yes keep em for me. The old man: okay anything else. Me : nope thank you *walk's away* *hear's Thaaank you in the distance*

[cruzazul 2815]

 

You are going to have to put a lot more effort into the application next go around, here are some things that need to be fixed.

 

• Your definitions are wrong and also need to be longer than a few words. You need to expand them more so I know that you know what they are.
• Your biography is far too short, it needs to be at least 2 paragraphs long. Go into detail about your characters past and how he acts and was raised, things like that.
• You also didn't have any lore in your biography which tells me you need to read up on it some, go here to read more about the human lore and try to put some of it in your application.
• Brush up on your grammar some. You can use the spell check to fix some of the errors as well. 
• All three of your ORQs are too short and need to be expanded on greatly with dialogue.
• Your second ORQ shows villainous activities. You cannot just go up and stab a man without being provoked, that would require a VA which you can apply for a week after being accepted onto the server.
• In your ORQs you powergame quite a bit. Be sure to stay realistic with the actions of your character to maintain some sense of realism and not just an over powered killer.
• Expand on your other in character questions. Paint me a picture when describing how your character acts and looks. Even the minor, small details are good when writing and really help to describe the character in full detail.

Please wait 24 hours from this denial before reapplying. If you have any questions don't be afraid to shoot me a PM.

[cruzazul 2815]

Moved to Denied Forum