[Denied]Nahtemom Application

[nahtemom 0]

Minecraft Account Name:nahtemom

How old are you?:15

Time-Zone:midwest

Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?:yes

What previous experience have you had in role-playing?:I have played on other role play servers.

How did you hear about the Lord of the Craft?:m\
My friend told me it was a very fun server worth trying.

Link any applications that you have previously made for the server:http://www.lordofthe...from-nahtemom/

Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above):

Have you read the Human lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?:yes


Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:


Role-playing:Imagining yourself as another character and living out their life. Example: Dungeons and dragons is role-play. 

Meta-gaming:An action used by a character that is from an external source. Example: Helping a friend when they are an orc and you are a human.
Power-emoting:Acting in a way that doesn’t allow any retaliation. Example: Nahtemom punched  
bob‘s head off.bob is now dead


In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name:sir Maximus werping

Current Age:23

Sub-race Southeron

Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):
   
    When I was a child, my house was broken into by men in the emperor’s guards’ clothes, to this day I do not know if they really were the emperor’s, but I have had to grab on to that kernel of hatred to make myself need to rise above the poverty. They burned my house down and took all of our family’s valuables. My whole family went from being upper middle class living off my father's merchant salary to poor, homeless, migrant workers. We pinched our pennies to be able to save up for a small apartment inside the kingdom of Oren.
    This hard life forced me and my brothers to band together and become tough brutal men.Wandering alone in the wilderness, we met a man that asked us for food. We barely had enough to feed ourselves, but we being kindhearted people obliged. in exchange for our kindness he traveled with us and taught us the arts of war. He only had three conditions
1.We never ask him what his true name is, we must only call him sir.
2.We must be resilient and always get up when we fall.
3.We must devote our whole lives to war.
  One day while traveling sir became very sick, on his death bed he turned to me and said,”Maximus make a way for yourself in this world and conquer the poverty.” Me and my brothers vowed to each-other that we would avenge the wrongs that had been done to our families and one day we would build a great kingdom to make sirs wish a reality. To this day I still do not know who sir truly is, but he helped us conquer the pain and suffering and forge a way for our selves in the world that had been so cruel to us

Ambitions for the Future:
I have a dream to co-rule a kingdom with my 3 brothers joel,medir and loking.

Personality:Patient, ambitious, intelligent, and coldly calculating. 

Skills:extremely smart and an amazing strategic/defensive designer. Good with a bow and arrow. Good sword fighter

Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): 

Any other details you wish to share about your character:

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
____


1. Whilst in the mighty human capital you notice a dark-clothed figure stealthily making his way towards the Emperor’s palace - he is clearly up to no good. There are guards within shouting distance - what do you do?


Answer:I ask the man what he is doing, if he is an assassin my deep rooted hate for the emperor tempts me to strike a deal with the man in black and see how mutually beneficial it could be for both of us. If he is on a mission to kill the emperor give him a choice,he can either come work for me and become much richer or he can go kill the emperor and I will say nothing. When he obliges he becomes my personal assassin. He is extremely obedient and kills whomever I want.
 
2. Whilst wandering in the deep oak forest you come across a large clearing, in which sits a small cobbled cottage. Outside it stands an unstable old man armed with a small iron blade, surrounded by two heavily armed bandits - they appear to be threatening him. You are armed with leather armor and an iron longsword, how do you react?


Answer:I give the bandits a chance to explain, if they are up to no good I attack them. After saving the man, I turn to the man and I ask him why the bandits attacked him.He says,”I am a great wizard and I am in possession of this scroll.”He promptly pulls out a spell scroll in an ancient language that I cannot read. I tell him that if he comes help me build my kingdom he will have all of the resources that he wants, to use in any way he chooses and he will never be in any danger. He is extremely grateful to me, and I make him one of my followers. He becomes on of my right hand men and helps me build my kingdom.



 
3. You are standing within the mighty human capital when you notice a small man standing behind a colorful stall. You approach the stall and notice that the man is selling a variety of general goods - he says that he is selling just about anything and that he has no set prices. He is willing to allow you to haggle and choose prices. What do you do? (Explain: your haggling, items of choice and the discussion that happens).


Answer: I approach the stalls to see what he has for sale. On inspection the bows were made with cheap material and all of the rings are lead with paint on them. I confront the man about this and he slyly plops 100 minas into my hand. This is quite a good bit of money, but I see an opportunity to make some money. I say ,"you will have to pay me at least 500 minas for me to not tell the guards." The man begins to argue, but I start to walk towards a guard tower. He exclaims,”Please I will give you anything,” I go back and say ,"500 minas is a fair price for your life." The man gulps,”But, then I’ll be broke. I once again turn and start walking to the guards, but this time the man runs up to me and puts 500 minas in my pocket. I am happy with this profit and I turn away.

 

[MonkeyCoffee 516]

Your application has been...

 

 

 

Hello! After reading through your application, I've decided to deny it for the following reasons:

 

First of all, you cannot have "Sir" as a title from the beginning. You need to earn that in RP. Also, your surname "Werping" isn't really a Human surname to be honest. Please fix this!

 

Secondly, you describe lots of things in what your character's ambitions are, but I haven't found anything as to how he learned that. Where did he learn strategy? Or using a bow and sword? Who are his brothers? Please include that in your biography! 

 

Also, please include more lore in your biography, you can find some on the wiki! Here is a link to it so you can start quicker. http://www.lordofthecraft.net/index.php?/external/wiki (Please mind, the wiki layout is temporary, so don't mind the background, please)

 

Your sub-race is Southeron, however, your skin does not look like a Southeron. Southerons have black skin colors, whilst your skin has white coloring. Please fix this issue!

 

I want you to include dialogue in your first Open Reponse Question. I also found this one to be very weird. Why, if he comes to work for you, will he become richer? I thought that you were very poor and barely had any money. Plus, you need to have a VA for 4B, Political Corruption.

 

You cannot simply kill two bandits on your own. That is power-gaming. You didn't even describe it fully, you simply said "I attack them". Also, some random person that you save is not simply a wizard that has a magical scroll that can summon any amount of any resources. I also think that you don't really understand Roleplay, since you said "He is extremely grateful to me, and I make him one of my followers. He becomes on of my right hand men and helps me build my kingdom.


". This is not an RPG server like Skyrim where you can get followers.

 

In your last Open Response Question, you say "The man begins to argue" and "I confront". You could easily make dialogue out of this, as that is how it will go in roleplay too. Plus, you need to have evil 4A for this, which is Deception.

 

 

Honestly, I think that you believe that roleplaying is the same as an RPG game, which it is not. Anyways, please don't get discouraged by this! I also don't want to come over as mean, as that is totally not my idea.

 

 

 

Please re-apply in 24 hours from this post's edit seen below or face instant denial. If you have any questions, feel free to pop me a PM!

Edited April 16, 2013 by MonkeyCoffee

[MonkeyCoffee 516]

Moved to Denied Forum