[Denied]Ratedrko25's Thrid Human App

[ratedrko25 1]

Out-Of-Character Information
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name:ratedrko25
How old are you?:13
Time-Zone:Eastern Time Zone
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?:Yes
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?:Fallout RP servers
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?:A friend
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server:
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above):
Have you read the Human lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?:Yes

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing:Acting like someone you are not and choosing the role of the person you are not
Meta-gaming:Doing something that would need RP before hand doing it, EX:Knowing someones name because it is in the chat
Power-emoting:Forcing the ones action on another without the others consent

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name:Daneil "Niner" MacKenzie
Current Age:22
Sub-race (if any):
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):
    Daneil MacKenzie, a young ambitous man who is a little incompetent.At a young age Daneil grew a giant ego. He most likley took this from his father, John.
John. They grew a strong bond together, and his father tought Daneil the ways of speechcraft, and bartering. John was not the best student and failed most
of his classes. He was not that good at fighting either. If he ever got into one (Which was rare seeing how friendly he was) he would either try to fight
or get out of it by having a friend fight for him, or trying to convince the person he is about to fight to think about their actions and stop. The town he
grew up in had a good racial mix. There were atleast 20 of most races. Daneil slowly grew to be comfortable with each one of them, no matter how strange
they may be. When Daneil was 10 him and his family moved away to the town of Ager.
    Daneil spent most of his time at a local Orphanage voulenterring to help the kids. The owner of the place rarely every showed up to see how Daneil
was doing, he probaly just trusted him with the orphans. When Daneil was about 17 his father died while exploring local caves. Without paying any proper
attention to the warning signs, John just walked in there and was killed by the undead. Daneil now fears what lurks in dark places, which is common but
for a 17 year old boy? That is strange.
    One day the Old Man who ran the orphanage and a group of men who called themselvs "Sabbath" went on a rampage with the towns people. Sabeth
is a group of bandits led by the man who owns the orphanage, they raid towns, stay in them for a good amount of time, then move on. 2 men (Who later
met Deneil again) named Alexander Ciecil and Rafe Walker came on the towns people side. They took control of a weapon cache and fought back at the
Sabbeth. Though the citizens were not combat ready there were many loses, any survivor was escorted by Alexander and Rafe to Ildicia to heal. Any civilian
that did not fight fled the town with their stuff to towns that offered good protection. Daneil and one of the older Orphans named Delvin were out doing the
laundry when they heard the screams, they rushed to town and grabbed Daneils mother, a guards sword, and fled. Daneil lacked combat like the rest of the town
so there chances of survival were pretty low.
    After about a month of their departure they returned to Ager to find the city brunt to the ground and "Sabbath" men were guarding every
way in and out of the city. The group was not that queit while they wacthed the town,This got the attention of the Sabbeth. About 10 soilders got their bows ready,
and shot at Daneil, Delvin, and Daneils mother. They thought they were dead until Daneil and Delvin saw a man and Daneils mother shielding them from the
arrows, the man survived with his shield, but Daneils mother, was not so lucky. The man took the 2 and his mother into his cottage not too far away. Daneil
reconized him as the man he saw leading the counter-attack on Sabbeth.
    The man introduced himself as Alexander Ciecil. From another room in the cottage came another man who introduced himself as Rafe Walker.
They took Daneil and Delvin to Ildicia where they could stay and get over the death of the Daneil's mother. Alexander and Rafe decided did their good deed
and left Daneil. Delvin decided to stay in Ildicia and try to start a new life. Daneil set out, to be an expert on any ruin he could come across, once he
learend how to properly read and write he would become a famous author about ruins and acient civilizations. Daneil and Alexander with Rafe still meet up
with each other sometimes, they teach Daneil something in combat, he teaches them in speechcraft, and they have a good laugh. Alexander nicknamed
Daneil "Niner" because he was the ninth person they have trained.
Ambitions for the Future: To learn to read and write properly, to became a ruin expert    
Personality: Ambitous, incompetent, charismatic, egotistic, prefers to stay out of conflict.
Skills:Speech craft to a certain degree, has high endurance; can run for long distances
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): Whenever I try to post my skin my fire fox chrashes so:
http://www.planetminecraft.com/skin/green-shirted-adventurer/
Any other details you wish to share about your character:I choose the nickname Niner due to the pronunciation of the number nine in the
ICAO spelling alphabet.

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
____

1. Whilst in the mighty human capital you notice a dark-clothed figure stealthily making his way towards the Emperor’s palace - he is clearly up to no good. There are guards within shouting distance - what do you do?

Answer:
*Daneil casually walks up the cloaked figure*
Daneil:"So...what are you doing exactly?"

Suspicous figure:"Umm....just....sending the Emperor a message. Now get out of my way kid, or I will make you!"

Daneil:"Now there is no need for any need to get Violent. Now just look at the sheer amount of guards! I suspect you are not the courier you say you are.
Now, what you are doing?"

*The Suspicous Figure puts his hand on a blood stained dagger*

Daneil:"You know what? I think I am coincidently devolp amniesa and pretend that this never happend, ok?

Suspicous Figure:"Just the way I like it."

*Daneil walks away in shame thinking "I hope I did not just cause the end of another persons life"*

2. Whilst wandering in the deep oak forest you come across a large clearing, in which sits a small cobbled cottage. Outside it stands an unstable old man armed with a small iron blade, surrounded by two heavily armed bandits - they appear to be threatening him. You are armed with leather armour and an iron longsword, how do you react?

*Daneils sits down next to a tree and takes his armor off and puts his sword away hiding it from sight*
Running up to the cottage Daneil sneaks up behind the men giving the old man some sort of signal to throw his blade to Daneil

*Daneil receives the blade just barely managing not to cut himself and using the training he learned from Rafe and Alexander he puts the blade aganist the
neck of on the men and slowly make movements to slit his throat*

Daneil:*in intimidating voice* "I believe you should leave about now.....but first, drop your weapons and I will forget about this, you do not want to know
what kind of friends I have."

*The men seem unaffected and not frightened at all*

*Man 1 takes out a large sword*
Man 1:"I would suggest you run, this affair with us and this old man means nothing....now leave before you see what kind of friends we have!

*Daneil makes movements to slit Man 2's throat and slowly tries but fails to walk away with him*
Daneil:"Fine, but you feel my real wrath later." *In head* "I am a god damn coward."
*Daneil walks away with a feeling of failure lurking through him*






3. You are standing within the mighty human capital when you notice a small man standing behind a colourful stall. You approach the stall and notice that the man is selling a variety of general goods - he says that he is selling just about anything and that he has no set prices. He is willing to allow you to haggle and choose prices. What do you do? (Explain: your haggling, items of choice and the discussion that happens).

Answer:
*Daneil takes out an assortment of coins that range from gold to silver to bronze and says*
Daneil:"How many copies of "The Adventures of Grourge in Salvus" can I get with this?

*The man just stares at Daneil like a confused child*
Man:"How about I give you one copy for 1 gold coin?"

*Daneil looks at the man in as if he just insulted his entire life*
Daneil:"How about I take this dagger and shove it up your....." *In mind* "Get it together Daneil!"

Daneil:"Well sure why not?!"
*Daneil takes his copy of the book and spits at the man, and runs away wondering why he even bought the book knowing he cannot even read*

[Princeton 396]

 

--

 

- Unfortunately, I am going to have to deny this -

 

Firstly, I would like you to have definitions for both meta-gaming and power-gaming.

 

Secondly, your biography didn't include much LoTC lore and you even used old lore at one point. "Ildicia" was a settlement in Asulon, not the current continent of Anthos. Also, I would like you to expand more on your character. When talking about "Undead," you must be more specific; you could be referring to the antagonist of Aegis (Not around anymore), or the common zombie, spider etc.. "Orphanages" are not common in Anthos or the medieval times at all. If you wish to keep that part in your bio, I suggest adding it in ties to the Church of Oren because that is the only place I could see taking in orphans. Ager is not destroyed in lore, so I suggest taking that part out. 

 

Lastly, your ORQ's could benefit from more descriptive phrasing. I suggest really trying to flesh out the scene with detailed emotes and dialogue between your character and the person you're talking with. Refer to an implemented application for a proper example.

 

Please wait 24 hours after this post to reapply. Feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns!

[Princeton 396]

Moved to Denied Forum