[Denied]Kira1002's Retry Application

[kira1000 3]

OOC information

 

What’s your Minecraft Account Name?:
- kira1002

 

How old are you?: - 20

 

What time-zone do you live in?: -
AEST (Australian Eastern Standard Time)

 

Have you ever role-played before - if
you have, how?: - yes, played on several naruto RP servers, a prison RP server
and a soul eater RP server

 

Have you been on any other role-playing
servers?: - yes

 

Have you applied to this server
before?(Please link past applications): - http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/98028-kira1002s-application/

 

How did you hear about us?: - I
found out via a YouTube channel when searching for a new Vegas mod

 

What do you think the server will be
like? - a fun RP server that has a lot of interesting things to do

 

Have you read and agreed to the
rules?: - yes

 

What’s your favourite rule / the rule
you agree with the most?: - I agree most with rule that designates that
you must be IC at all times.

 

definitions

 

What is Role-playing?: - Role-playing is the act of making a character
and playing that role in a story, including their traits, ambitions, strengths
and weaknesses etc, essentially-you are the character

 

What Is Metagaming?: - Metagaming is the use of information that the
character in the story should not be able to know, a good example of this is
"I received a message on YouTube to come to the orc capital" or
"I read in the chat logs that my friend Josh had committed suicide"

 

What is Powergaming?: - Powergaming is creating an extremely powerful
character for use in an RP, an example of this would be "stabs skullmasher
with sword laced with paralysing poison" and the next thing said is
"skullmasher is immune to all poison effects" when such immunity is
not mentioned as a strength in the character's profile.

 

IC information

 

What is your character's name?: - kirmar

What race are they?: - orc uruk

What sex are they?: - male

How old are they?: - 100

 

Brief description?: - born in krugmar, kirmar had a troubled childhood,
he barely succeeded in his initiation, fighting off 5 scorpions, barely
surviving. his father was a member of the war uzg and therefore wanted him to
follow in his footsteps and therefore pushed his son to his physical and mental
limits.  His father died in battle against a regiment of Elven warriors.
 His family are members of the Gorkil clan. At age 8 he succeeded in his
maze trial in 10 minutes thanks to his father's training.  for the next 10 years he worked as a
weapon smith, creating swords and other weapons for the Gorkil clan, training in
his spare time under his father's instruction. 
At age 18 he decided to give up that job and work as a town guard, using
his intelligence to deal with any troubles with humans on an equal level.  At age 68 he decided to continue his training
to become a warrior for the Gorkil clan, however, during his training he found
that he had a severe weakness to poison due to being poisoned by scorpions
during his clan initiation.  At age 98 he
became a courier, starting out with small, inter-clan and town jobs, now he is
ready to do jobs between the Orcs and other races of the realm.

 

His father died when he was just 24 years old in battle against the
undead invasion, his mother passed away from Grish she had contracted while out
on patrol during the family's time on Kalos, upon returning to the settlement
they discovered that she had the dreaded disease and killed her to prevent any
other Orc from getting it.  During his
time as a town guard, he dealt with a squad of human troops who were getting
dangerously close to the town.  While
being a courier for the Orcs he did his job very well, getting the letter,
information or package where it needed to go on time.  Massacring anyone that got in his way, whilst
travelling, he slaughtered 5 bandits thanks to his strength and dual-wielding
skills he picked up from his father. 
During the fight, he was stabbed by a magic dagger that had almost no
effect on him aside from changing his eye colour to red since the bandit was
bad with enchanting.  Also during his
travels, he was saved by a human from the village of New Ager who had sympathy
for the Orcs, earning kirmar's respect for the human race thanks to his
savior's ferocity in battle.

 

Due to his father's excessive training, he is extremely
intelligent and therefore able to communicate with humans on an almost equal
level.  He also has a vested interested
in magic and studied it extensively under his father's stead, with the hope of
one day mastering magic and becoming a shaman. 
As a courier, he travelled to San'Orka and the surrounding desert camps
that belonged to the Orcs, never leaving their territory.  He spent the first 25 years of his life in
Aegis and was sad when they were forced to abandon it to the undead in
1351.  He survived his time in the verge
by staying with the main Orc group and not wandering off, protecting them from
any opposing forces that would do them harm, he continued to do so throughout
his time in Asulon before leaving to go to Kalos where he continued his
training in solitude, going into town only when he needed supplies, weapons,
books or other equipment as well as to socialize on a weekly basis in order to
keep up his intelligence.  For most of
the journey from Kalos to Anthos he stayed in his room, trying to cope with the
loss of his third home as well as that of his mother.  After arriving at Anthos he declared that he
will not allow another realm to fall unless it was absolutely necessary and
unavoidable, willing to sacrifice his very life in the process of protecting
his fourth home.

 

His hero is Braduk, he understood the values of honour and sacrifice for
the greater good of his people.

 

What are they like?: - Kirmar is a tough, fearless warrior willing to do
whatever it takes to succeed in his assigned task.  He also cares for his people and the humans
of Anthos thanks to the kindness he was shown by one of them, he is also
courteous to other races, thanks to the hardships he has experienced along with
them.

 

What are their ambitions?: - Kirmar desires to explore the lands of
Anthos to allow him to get to know them, should he ever need to defend them
from another undead threat

Do they have any special skills?: - Kirmar can speak with humans on an
equal level without any grammar errors because of his respect for them, when
dealing with Elves and other races he uses the standard mannerisms.

What are their weaknesses?: - he has a weakness to poison due to extreme
exposure to it as a child during his initiation.

Describe the character?: - Kirmar is a Orc with two tusks, red eyes,
grey skin and very little hair.

any more information?: - no further information

Character skin?: - http://imgur.com/fhnfp4c

[ski_king3 0]

 

Unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion that your application must be denied, although the reasons are not super extensive. Don't get discouraged though, you just need to make a bit more of an effort changing things.

 

Firstly, your powergaming definition is still off. That is one common definition of powergaming, however, we wish to see one which is a bit more specified than that. If you're unaware of such a definition, it might suit you best to look here at our wiki. That should help you, but don't plagiarize.

 

Also, your biography could use some work still. For one, having your character's parents die is a tad cliche (although it is allowed), but you have your character's father dying in two different ways. Likewise, a couple sentences after saying your character's father dies, you say Kirmar trains under him for ten years. Which is it, is he alive or dead? Also, the orcs don't really have town guards, although that isn't a pivotal issue. Being weak to spider venom seems fairly universal, in my opinion, and doesn't really need to be mentioned in my opinion.You then describe your parents dying once more, your father from the Undead on Kalos, which is not possible. Not only is it unrealistic to dual wield and to massacre five individuals, regardless of race (aside from perhaps halflings), but you lack a VA, and therefore should not perform villainous actions in your biography. It seems you have a general understanding of the progression of realms we've been on, but I will explain it, as well as where certain parts of your biography would have occurred, in order to help you with your next application.

 

We've gone from:

Aegis ---> Verge ---> Asulon ---> Elysium ---> Kalos ---> Anthos

 

The Undead were exclusively in Aegis.

Krugmar was also exclusively in Aegis.

I've never heard of a New Ager, but it may refer to the town of Ager in Anthos.

San'orka was exclusively a part of Anthos, and no longer exists.

 

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. You may reapply 24 hours after the time on the post below this one.

[ski_king3 0]

Moved to Denied Forum