Based1Salmon

RP Name:Grayson Marshall MC Name: Based1Salmon Voted: Yes

MC NAME :Based1Salmon RP NAME :Grayson Marshall AGE : 19 Are you an Orenian Citizen or Ally : Citizen Are you a Knight of the Empire: N If you are from a Noble House, which one :

[!] A missive would be spread across the Empire To my fellow residents of the Holy Orenian Empire, I am probably doing this too much, writing to all of you as if my opinion matters and my words mean something. Who knows if I'm even right? This is just how I see things. What has Haense done to itself? The Haenseni people have gone from our Canonist allies to the puppets of the Dwarves and the Pagans. THEY ARE A DISGRACE to the Human people right along with the Norlanders. It doesn't even stop there, the church of the Canon has turned its back on the Empire as well, they have also sold themselves to the Pagans and the Dwarves. While Haense's treachery sickens me to my core, its the state of our Empire that makes me mourn. We are the last Bastion of God's word, we are the keepers of the true Canonist Religion's hearth. Alas, we are fighting almost every nation in Almaris and we are not faring well. Where have the days of Orenian Supremacy gone? It is my belief that it is not gone, rather it slumbers, but it is long past time for that slumber to be over. With this I ask one thing of every man who claims that he holds the true canonist faith and loyalty to the Empire. I ask thee to RISE we must wake from our slumber and rally to the cause of the Empire, we must show the world why Oren is the only true Empire and why we have outlasted this unholy coalitions onslaught. Why Oren has stood for centuries and will continue to do so long past our enemies have crumbled to dust. We must rise from one knee, we must stand strong and cleanse the stain of the Heathens, the Heretics, and the Dwarves from this world and let God decide their sentence once they reach his realm. AVE ORENIA -Grayson Marshall

*The Elven Secret Police and the Orenian Secret Police each receive a copy of this missive and get together to discuss finishing the job during said meeting with their secret cache of Thannium bombs* [This is a joke, probably, I have no connection to the Imperial State Buzzkills]

*A missive would be posted in Providence at various locations* To my fellow Imperials and the Rebels of the 'Union Justice Party-, What has the world come to? You may not know who I am, and I am probably not qualified to speak on this topic but the topic strikes me to my very core and I find myself unable to hold my tongue and quietly accept this twist of events. This Empire faces a revolt in our time where we need unity most. The so called 'Union Justice Party' spreads their ideas to everyone without realizing what they propose. They wish that everyone 'gain and pay the same amount of mina'? How is this equality? Does the labor of one no longer matter. Do the non-working men and women of Oren wish to mooch off of the government while the tradesmen and laborers of the Empire work their hands to the bone to provide for their families and supply the Empire's war against tyranny? You call for the nobles to be stripped of their titles? What of the service they did to earn them? Is that too a sign of greed, is dedicating ones life to the prosperity of the Empire an unforgivable crime? You mock the ISA, the very entity that is responsible for protecting everyone in the Empire (including you all) and the freedom of our citizens to vote for leaders, to raise themselves up from the ground and make their own wealth and status if they so desire. You do this before the great General var Ruthern, God bless his soul has even been laid to rest. Men like him are the reason that Oren still stands strong and has yet to fall to the hordes of soldiers that the pagans, dwarves, and heretics throw at us. If the only thing these craven men can do is hide in the shadows and wave around swords and pitch forks and proclaim a false inequality, it makes you wonder what they truly want, 'equality', or someone to provide for them because they are not willing to work to change their own lot in lives. Before they take this and begin saying I am one of the elites, or a servant of them, I can assure you I am not. The name Marshall means nothing in the Empire or anywhere outside of it, I'm an orphan with barely a mina to my name, and I joined the ISA to defend my homeland and make a life for myself in Providence. I am a lowborn peasant from the Frontier. Don't condescend to me about a wealth gap or inequality, one can improve their lot in life if they put in the work. May god condem the souls of these rebels to hell. Ave Orenia -Grayson Marshall @kazoo (A reaction to our favorite Kazoo's ISA peasant event)

50 Mina to whoever sends me the best version of this being sung, 75 if it has the slide whistle solo

The devil went down to Orenia, he was lookin' for a wig to steal He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind And he was willin' to make a deal When he came across this young egirl sawin' on a skin editor and creatin' em hot And the devil jumped up on a ISA vet’s arm stump And said, "girl, let me tell you what" "I guess you didn't know it but I'm a mineman skinner too And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you Now you make a pretty good wig, egirl But give the devil his due I'll bet a latte of gold against your soul 'Cause I think I'm better than you" The egirl said, "my name's Rattus and it might be a sin But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret 'Cause I'm the best there's ever been" Rattus, drink your redbull and play your minecraft hard 'Cause Hell's broke loose in Orenia, and the devil deals the cards And if you win, you get this shiny latte made with gold But if you lose, the devil gets your soul The devil opened up his browser and he said, "I'll start this show" And cringe flew from his fingertips as he made the catgirl skin gallery grow And he made that base skin with catgirl ears And it made a evil hiss Then a band of ferryman joined in And it sounded something like this *slide whistle solo* When the devil finished, Rattus said, "well, you're pretty shit, ol'son But sit down in that chair right there And let me show you how it's done" "Fire at the MoJ building" run girls, run The devil's in the House of the Failing Pun Skinners in the ballroom pickin out a ho Eryane does your mineman husband bite? No, child, no The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat And he laid that golden latte on the desk at Rathammer’'s mid Rattus said, "Devil, just come on back if you ever wanna try again I done told you once you son of a *****, I'm the best that's ever been"

[OOC Disclaimer: I do not hate noble personas or anything, these are completely Irp views of one 'Tommeh']

Around the city of Providence, multiple copies of this writing would be posted in neat lettering, no signs of who wrote or posted it up would have been left to be found For centuries, the Orenian working man, the Proletariat, has been living under the boot of the Nobles, the Royals, and the wealthy. They are granted power and privileges because of who they were born to and not their own merit. What does the common man get? A life where they don’t get paid enough by their menial jobs to pay rent, let alone keep their families fed and clothed. Young men are pulled into military service with hopes of getting paid and gaining status for their families. Is this the world you wish to raise your children in? Where the poor get slaughtered by the masses in a war caused by the Aristocracy that corrupts our world to its very core? Ask yourself this question. What gives a man the right to say he is better or more important than another? What gives the ‘Holy Orenian Emperor’ the right to start wars that get us killed by the masses. What makes this man holy? Nothing, he is a Heretic and a traitor to the church and the very people he claims as his own. The People must rise up, tear down the barriers of class and wealth. The People must make equality, no amount of blood shed in the pursuit of equality can come close to the amount spilled in the name of self righteous aristocrats and royals. Ave Orenia!

James bids 60

James Maelstorm bids 20 mina, going once, going twice, going thrice, sold to the sexy man in a vest

Helena would sit cross legged at her fathers bedside completely and utterly sober as she sits with her gathered family. She clasped his hand in her own partially to hide the trembling as she kept a careful eye on him ready to send a little one or go herself for a medic at the first sign of change

Helena Bishop reads this while sitting curled on the couch and giggles accidentally spewing her White Ruskan "vell she ist not vrong"

*Little Elizabeth cheers on prim*

JOB APPLICATION FORM Name: Elizabeth Hope Age: 10 Sex:Female Interests: [ ] Leadership [ ] State Relations [ X] Counterterrorism [ ] Other - Fill in: Experience:Not much unless you count being raised by a beaurocrat and a soldier Comments:please?

Elizabeth Hope Mikasimpsinc Yes!

Name:James Maelstorm Age:26 Address:Idfk ask lmc Occupation: Serial kil... I mean soldier I'm like super qualified

Maelstorm Coat of Arms Nullification of Disinheritance 11th of Deep Cold, 53 SA Due to there being no other record alive Male Maelstorm’s at the time of this publication, I assume control as Patriarch of the Maelstorm Family and with this, I consider the disinheritance issued by dead Vivian Maelstorm towards then Peralien Maelstorm null and invalid. Peralien may once again use the Maelstorm name, and any and all claims are re-instated. James Foucault-Maelstorm

RP Name:James Foucault-Maelstorm MC Name: Based1Salmon Voted: Yes

*James shedding blood in the name of God during the Elvenesse incident* "well, that happened, dad said never to trust no hope b**ch"

Welcome back everyone to our second of Le diable sur ton épaule!! So a lot has happened in this short month or two, I’ve tried Orenian wine, Georg Ludovar made an oopsie, and a few other things. So let’s start with a bedtime story. Now you may or may not have heard this one before. Once upon a time there was a young woman, she wasn’t the brightest due to her youth nor the most beautiful (but in her eyes and in most others she looked wonderful)( ok maybe she was the most beautiful. I can’t tell as I’m trying to decipher near decade old diary entries alright? Cool back to the story.) She didn’t know many other people her age growing up but she did read quite a bit, in fact at times books were her only friend, they provided an escape a perfect world, a world where there wasn’t ulterior motives and where young women were carried off by majestic princes to a land of magic and happiness. What she didn't realize is the closest thing to that in the real world was a mix of alcohol, cactus green, and same sex relationships!!. One day after she moved with her parents to a certain city in the north where showing skin is a ‘sin’ and there she met a young(ish) man. Now he was quite a few years older than her and he was also seeking the hand of another, alas over time the two started talking and the man twisted the naive girl around his finger with his lies, sweet nothings, and the fairy-tale mindset that she possessed believing it to actually be true. Now this continued on for months though eventually the young man who was about 18 at the time met the girl's parents. She was close to 14 at the time (if my math is correct it may be off though but around that age). As any smart person would, the parents said no and tried to stop her from seeing him again, though it didn't help and eventually they started seeing each other again, and this time he proposed and in the heat of the moment, his arms wrapped around her, she said yes. This was a bad decision and soon after this she realized this and gave the ring back saying she needed to think, but the young man did not give up. He sent letters telling of how he risked his life for her and country and life was nothing without her. While in reality he cared nothing for her and saw her only as some future breeding stock. Finally she broke down and accepted. As soon as she was back in his grasp he whisked her away to Sedan to keep her from her parents but eventually she managed to get home to her mother and father and from there they helped her escape the situation. And all's well that ends well, well at least whenever the man in question (he knows who he is, she says hi by the way) is lying in a shallow grave. Now onto my favorite!!!!!!! Wine and Daggers!!!! So lets see, the best dagger for self defense and murdering your ex, I personally would go with a stiletto as one of my friends tells me if goes very well strapped to the thigh under a dress and I've used them enough that I know how but it is really up to your personal preference!!!!!. Wine, well I tried a few recently and none stuck out, I’d stick with Fennic Wines until further notice though Orenian is passable. Private Armies!!! So, as we all know I am an expert on military tactics (yeah no I'm really not). So to make up for my lack of expertise in siege warfare I direct my viewers to James Maelstorm of the blue desert company but he may be busy so as I always say, stick with the poison and let the men kill each other by the thousands. For our Love Story Well, I lost a bet, the absolutely beautiful Adrianna Barclay did get back together with her pet Charles Darkwood according to my sources, sorry all of you fans of one of them out there, I don’t know what to tell ya! For Our Last Section I Present Georg Artur Ludovar!! So at the time of writing this is fairly recent but at the Masquerade during the hide and seek game he decided to tell the young daughter of Isabella Decaden to jump off the roof and not die, this ended in her getting a broken leg and the party ending. Very responsible George! Well that is all for this issue, I hope you enjoyed it!! No illustrations this time but plenty of content, thank you for reading and have a great day. Remember, shoulders and ankles must show!!! -Farley

The Content Begins!!, So, first things first since this is our first wonderful issue. I am your wonderful Farley DeFont, maybe I’m real, maybe Farley is a pseudonym, mauve you are all stark raving mad and imagining this!!! Whatever it is, I will be the little devil on your shoulder for all the juicy gossip, scandalous fashion advice, and all the deep, dark, and demented desires that we all have, maybe I will also share some sheet music, art, and embroidery patterns if I can make them work. Most likely I’ll just share my wine affected opinions on today and the various people. With that welcome to the first issue of Le diable sur ton épaule. So what do I have for you beautiful women and stuffed shirt men for this issue? Besides the fact that Fennec White Wine is great, champagne and orange juice go well together, and that Belladonna Maelstorm was easily the sexiest princess of her time. Hmm, how about the fact that the wannabe knight Erwin Bishop (note the lack of ser or lord) turned down a duel from the wonderful Stephanie Mendez though he is by my estimate about 100 pounds larger and much taller, not that I’d be intimately close with Stephanie Mendez’s wonderful body as I am a woman and that is a crime. So last but not least I have the fashion piece of the however long between issues is, may be a bit scandalous for palace events but I’m sure you could find some use of it!! Wear it well and I’ll Include a sketch in the next issue!! Well that’s all for now, but rejoice it's only the first issue and while I wasn’t able to get much content in, the more of you who read this and seek me out to alert me of stories, wine, gossip, and the like, the more I can include here!!. Well that’s all for now, stay young, stay beautiful, and have a good time -Farley DeFont (if you want the cut juicy content let me know and I will make a paid version once I have gotten at least 15 requests) ((NO I’M NOT GOING TO COVER THE SOCIAL SEASON THIS TIME AROUND, IT'S TOO FAR ALONG)) OOC: Welp Salmon has done it I've made a magazine Get over it

*A letter goes back to Erwin a few days after the rejection was received reading*: “Why monsieur, are you afraid of a woman?” (Transcripts of these correspondences are easy to come by in haense)

To (@Lomiei)Erwin Bishop (who has seemingly lost the titles he valued so highly), I am not a vengeful person, nor do I wish your family to be hurt by such a challenge as this. Alas, you have seemingly hurt your family enough yourself so I find myself in the position where I am no longer conflicted on this matter. You are guilty of kidnapping, ruining lives, ruining relationships, manipulation, and leaving a trail of pain and misery wherever you go. At first I thought I was your only victim and with that I was willing to remain silent, but now that I hear what you have done to those around you and those unfortunate enough to share blood with you or bear your children I have had enough. I challenge you to a duel to the final breath to be fought with the weapons of your choice at a neutral location. The time and jurisdiction will remain your choice and other terms will be set beforehand between seconds. This is both a challenge against you and the tolerance of your actions. As custom dictates you must appoint a second to send your response to the challenge in a timely manner. -Stephanie @Based1Salmon

What is your baptismal name? James Natalie Foucault Your age? 20 You’re right in front of me.. but for record’s sake, what is your race? Elf Do you have any family? My father and mother are missing presumed dead, I have no children nor spouse, I do have aunts and uncles plus cousins and a few others on the maternal side but none I am close to How do you wish to serve God? I wish to serve in the Supreme Order of the Exalted Owyn and to protect the speakers of his word including the church and others in his flock to allow the men of cloth to do their duty without fear of being acosted by heathens and traitors to the faith. I wish to do my duty to protect the lord and his flock for the rest of my life sacraficing my own if need be. Where would you prefer to be assigned if accepted? The Supreme Order of Exalted Owyn, I have no preference as to location as I travel often already