Muse of Heart

I honestly feel like I'm going to regret this post in the future but I feel like I'm not going to be able to log back onto LOTC anymore. For a while it was a fun experience for me but more and more things happened and slowly I started to associate it with stress and I had to force myself to get back on at first even if things are fine afterwords. I finally understood that I can't dance around this anymore with inactivity. I honestly can't see me coming back. The only reason I ever did was for my characters... I put fictional beings that I gave life to over me. The main character that I went through the anxiety of "but what if this happens" for was Marie Talines. I've been playing this game for almost 2 years now I believe, I've honestly lost count. For most of that time I have been playing as Marie and watching her mostly negative development. I hate to just give her and my other characters just a dismissive ending for closure, this is what I tried to avoid, but I really can't see myself coming back. I've tried to get my mind to cut it out when I felt dread in logging on. I think I just have too much wrong with my head to keep playing. I'm sorry I couldn't just chill out like people told me to. I genuinely wish I could... For what will happen to my characters, Marie Talines has again gone missing as she usually does from time to time. But this time, she has left absolutely no note that she would do so. It is unknown whether or not she is alive, but what is known by the people who have familiarized themselves with her know that she has no sanity left to spare. (It can be up to the people who know her whether or not they find her. Knowing her she most likely got sloppy on purpose with her killings to get herself offed.) Mary o'Nett has been missing since Athera. It is unknown of whether or not she got onto the boats, but she herself feels as it doesn't matter, as nobody would want to look for her anyways. I wonder if wooden doll children can float? Bramblerose Bumbleroot, aka Granny Bramble, died of her old age well before the end of Athera. She wasn't discovered because of the prophecy of the worm destroying it, but it would be foolish if the Halflings continued to hold onto the hope that she is alive. Zulzul, however, did make it onto the boats. The young mentally disabled Kharajyr met a grizzly fate in the new lands of Vailor however, having fallen off a cliff thinking he turned into a butterfly. Alys Folet drowned in the sailing over to Vailor. It is theorized that she willingly jumped into the ocean to meet death. If I am to come back, only the deaths of Alys Folet and Zulzul are official. Either way, they are dead. It is unknown that if I come back that I will play as Mary or Bramblerose, but I think Marie will still be my main character no matter what. I would like to thank everyone who rped with me, whether we were friends or enemies. I would especially like to thank Katonah, Novastral, Apiel, and OperationFuego for both their impact on Marie and their kindness towards me. If I'm to get better in the head, I'll be sure to come back. I'm sorry everyone. But I'm sure some of you wanted me gone anyways, so, I'm happy for you.

Bramblerose Bumbleroot, otherwise known as Granny Bramble, cries once she hears the news. "I though' ye'd a' leas' ou' live me, my friend." and carries on with being in who the [pumpkin] knows where inactive character land.

Marie jolts awake from her sleep, looking around her... thoughts of the dream she had recently washing over her. Katona was safe. Katona was alive...he was happy. Everyone was. The tears puddled up in her eyes as she slowly came back to the reality that the only person who felt like family to her is dead. "I'm sorry."

I literately had a friggin DREAM ABOUT THIS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J_bL2bjQ-k

[[ Sorry guys. I was so sick that I had to go lay down but I'm feeling better now! I was on the wood elf ship before, will I be teleported back onto the ship wherever it is now if I log back in? Thanks! ]]

My opinion: FUCK YES

Marie jolts awake, looking around her. She catches her breath and sighs. "It's always something, isn't it?"

((OOC)) MC Name: MuseofHeart Skype: PM me if accepted Timezone: CST IC Name: Marie Thereneal (formerly Talines) Race: Adunian Nation Allegiance (Only if you are a political member, this does not count citizenship): N/A Age: 21 (player card incorrect) Can you fight?: YES. Do you know magic?: No Would you do work (Nexus professions) for the Scions?: Yes (Cooking)

I will. I apologize for my past instances of this. It was not completely in my control. I am going to improve myself.

More information on the character if need be: General: http://tinyurl.com/MarieTalines Spoilers (her split personality, etc.): http://tinyurl.com/BloodyMarie

What is your Minecraft Account Name?: MuseofHeart What is your ingame Character Name?: Marie Talines What is your Character’s Race?: Adunian (Half human, half Adunian) Have you read and familiarized with all server rules and the villain rules?: I have. Links to any previous villain applications (for reference, these can be from previous characters, or previously denied applications to show how you’ve improved): N/A What VA are you applying for? (Lesser Evils, Greater Evils [Greater includes Lesser by default, you don't need two applications if you apply for greater first]): Greater Evils Why is your character the way he/she is? What has led them to a path requiring a Villain Application?: Marie Talines was born into a life of slavery, her mother an Adunian slave and her father the owner of the both of them. She was disliked by both her mother and her father, and she had absolutely nothing to do besides sit in the dark basement cell that was her and her mother's home. She stayed like this for eleven years... such treatment caused her fragile mind to break, developing multiple personality disorder, with one of her personalities being a sociopath. Her main personality is very timid, easy to tears, and overapologetic while her other one doesn't care about almost anything and runs on the longing, the craving, the addiction to murder. One day her father came home drunk and left his lumberjacking axe in the same basement she kept the two. Marie managed to reach through the bars and grab the axe, moving to cut the lock from the door. She tried to bring her mother along but she lashed out and yelled, her mind also having warped. Without the ability to control herself, Marie killed her with the axe before leaving her cell to move upstairs to her father's room and do the same to him. The events that passed from those are long and done through rp. Currently, Marie is married to a woman, finally no longer homeless, and working as a nurse. However recent depression has driven her to alcohol which loosens her other personality. What are his/her motives? What do you plan to gain from this?: Her motives vary upon her personality. The true Marie is trying to get ahold of herself and fight her own mind so she and others won't be hurt. But the alternate personality, Bloody Marie, just craves bloodshed and bringing pain to others like a drug. Even when Marie is in her true personality, the other personality's wants turn into urges that she tries to hold back. What moral boundaries does your character have, if any?: Most often, Bloody Marie steers clear from friends and loved ones when killing. Though that didn't stop her from torturing one of her closest friends twice. What general kind of Villain will you be? (Bandit, Pirate, Raider, Madman, Cultist, Antihero, Destroyer Of Worlds, etc etc…): Murderer / Madwoman Open Response - Answer at least two of the open ended scenarios below. Do not powergame, metagame, or do anything else rulebreaking or unrealistic. Each scenario is designed with no particular objective in mind and is open ended deliberately. Assume your character is in each position, regardless of their normal situations: -An elderly man with a walking stick(possibly a staff), a middle aged woman in a flowing dress, and a teenage boy with a sword hanging on his belt are walking down the road, with no others in sight that you can tell... Marie would most likely be in her regular timid personality at this time... but Bloody Marie's urges and prodding thoughts of how easy it would be to kill them would ridicule her. She approaches as her normal self, stuttering and shaking all the while, when her other personality takes control of her and grabs her hatchet, going to slaughter them if she is able. -You are about to head out of your house when someone starts pounding on your door frantically. You open the door to see a human woman, dress half torn, a gash across her cheek bleeding, fear in her eyes as she begs you for help. Someone has just attacked her and her sister, killing the sister, and the girl barely getting away and losing him... Marie's eyes widen as she lets the woman into her home to try to address her wounds. The longer she does this the more her thoughts haunt her, but Marie manages to patch her up alright. Unfortunately, right as she is seeing the woman out she loses her control and moves to pull her back in to reopen every wound and create more. -Sitting in a bakery, you hear two men talking in hushed voices upstairs. Sneaking up the stairs, you see a figure robed in black and a Guard. The robed figure is revealing plans to the Guard about an upcoming rebellion. You can’t tell if the robed man is betraying the rebels, or if it is the Guard betraying the town... Marie listens in but doesn't seem to care on both sides of her on the fate of the town they are speaking of, but she remembers to try to stay home as much as possible in case attacks spread out. -There is a knocking on your door, and when you open it there is an angry-looking man standing there, and a Olog standing behind him, eyeing you coldly. The man tells you that you owe 1000 minas in taxes to the local Royals, and had best pay up... Marie begins to stutter how she does not have the money, shaking and beginning to cry...when survival instincts get to her and she switches out and tells them to **** off before slamming the door and proceeding to lock it, grabbing her weapons if need be. -Two Guards are trying to break up a fight between your acquaintance and two Humans. Your friend slays one of the Guards as he approaches, causing the other Guard as well as the Humans to pull out their weapons... Marie, having switched over due to the direness of the situation anyway, watches the battle from afar and waits for an opening between the humans or Guards, or a moment where her acquaintance is obviously going to lose the fight.

*Stares at the ENTIRE structure of one of my more violent characters* Welp I guess I have to get judged on my character or change it completely.

The spectre of Catherine de Savoie facepalms after reading the propaganda before disappearing once more.