[Denied]Deathkids Server App

[deomonkid 0]

Out-Of-Character Information

The simplest section of the application. Answer these questions so we can get to know you a bit more. Please do your best to correct spelling and grammatical errors, this is an RP server and writing is the main form of communication!

What’s your Minecraft Account Name?: - deathkid176
How old are you?: - 13
Have you ever roleplayed on a minecraft server before? If so, where?: - yes on persistant worlds
Have you applied to this server before? (Please link past applications):yes https://www.lordofth...st-application/ https://www.lordofthecraft.net/topic/116309-deathkid176s-application-for-lotc/ https://www.lordofthecraft.net/topic/115895-deathkid176s-4th-application-for-lotc/ https://www.lordofthecraft.net/topic/115822-deathkid176s-3rd-application/ https://www.lordofthecraft.net/topic/115748-deathkid176s-server-whitelist-application-2/ 

How did you hear about us?: - BaronVonDietz
What do you think the server will be like? - Like everybody has a role in the world and they have to play it but bad things can happen
Have you read and agreed to the rules?: - yes
What’s the rule you agree with the most?: - meta gaming and power gaming if those were aloud this server would be a disaster!
Do you understand combat rules, and what you can and can’t do if you do choose to roleplay as a villain?:- yes
Are there any rule(s) that confuse you?: no

Definitions

These terms are a major part of the server and in a few of our rules. Please define them so that we can get an understanding of how much you know about roleplaying. Feel free to Google the answers or check on our wiki, but make sure that you write the reply in your own words, not those of another website or person!

What is roleplaying?: - acting as your character and letting it take control and pretending that you are in their same time and place.

What’s metagaming?: - Using information That You learned out of character for your ingame character.

What’s powergaming?: - Rp and not let the character you are fighting or whatever else you are doing respond. for example /me Roerk lets out a mighty heave at the enemy. then does it you have to wait until the person responds with either missed or blocked or /me Corni Cornifield screams: enter text here

In-Character Information

Now you actually make your character - be creative but stay reasonable! Make sure they make sense and that you follow lore. Try to come up with a character that you actually want to play.

What’s your character called?: - Orwen Brunswick

What race are they? (and sub-race if applicable): - Human

What gender are they?: - Male

How old are they?: - 18

Give us a highlight of their past, What life events make your character the person they are today? This is your character's biography. It is also required to include server lore when writing. (Names of towns, major server events, ect. Most lore can be found on our wiki.): - Orwen Brunswick was a young human boy who lived in the Town of Ekren. He and his brother Marcus Brunswick always loved stealing baked goods from the local baker. One day The kings military was marching through the town, Orwen saw the shining armor and the gleaming swords, and he knew he wanted to become a knight.
Three weeks after his seventeenth birthday Orwen set out on an adventure to the Kings Castle and it took several weeks. When he reached the castle Orwen told the king he wanted to be a knight, the king laughed and told Orwen that knights train for months to become knights. Orwen knew the only way to become a knight is to train. after 1 year and 3 months, Orwen became a man at the age of eighteen. At the ceremony of Knightship everybody except him became knights, he was extremely devastated. He rode his steed back to his city. When he reached Ekren, he was in shock to see that his house had torn apart. His family was fine except his mother lost a leg and his father lost 1 eye 3 fingers, 6 toes and 1 arm, but couldn't find Marcus. Orwen cried but then heard a cough from the broken logs. It was Marcus!
he was alive with many broken bones. He treated him with herbs and made him rest. that day Orwen  swore that he would protect all people until the day he dies. One day Orwen was walking Through the lands when he heard a scream. He rushed to find where it came from and very strangley it came from an abandoned wagon.
He looked under the wagon and found a little girl. "are you ok?" he asked "yes im fine it's just a group of bandits murdered my whole family and stole all of my things except for pookie, my little doll". "do you need help?". "Yes please find those bandits and get all my items back they're all i had". So Orwen went to the mountains walking for 1 week and found the cave of bandits. He then killed most of them will a mighty fight and returned the items to the girl. She was happy.
Then the group of bandits came back and took the little girl prisoner and took Orwen too. When they got to the cave with a prison, there were bones laying on the ground and an old monk sitting on the floor dying. After several hours the man looked up and weakly mumbled "the key under you". Orwen looked and was suprised to find a key. he opened the door and but up a bandit for his sword back and slayed his way through the bandits. He ran as far away as he could from the cave so the bandits would find him. He was happy but remembered... "The Girl".He never saved the girl. That was his dreaded day.

What are they like? (personality): - Friendly/sneaky

What are their ambitions?: - to protect people

Do they have any special skills? What are their weaknesses? (Try to list a few of both):

skills: Orwen can swiftly move his blade because of his training at the castle. Orwen is amazing with a bow because he was trained by an old archer at the castle who then died when he was trained (if you told him to shoot a toothpick the toothpick would snap clean in half.

Weaknesses: Orwen can be killed really easily if you step on his foot and stab him in the heart

Please give us a screenshot of your character’s skin:
http://www.minecraftskins.com/skin/3972896/orwen-brunswick/

[Z3r05t4r 855]

 

 

Pending. This being your SIXTH application, I shall place this on pending. But heed following points and make improvements according to them, otherwise I have to deny you. You have 24 hours.

 

1. Please link ALL previous applications in your application, not only your first one.

 

2. In correspondence with your previous application ( https://www.lordofthecraft.net/topic/116309-deathkid176s-application-for-lotc/ ), please extend your definitions, they are correct, but require to be expanded.

 

3. Please recolor your biography into a visible color. Black is horrifying for an already very dark background.

 

4. Biography lacks server lore still. Implement server lore, try not to make the common lost-my-parents-character.

 

5. In correspondence to that, let personality (which needs to be extended), ambitions and skills/weaknesses flow into the biography. There must be a reason why he can do this and that. As for magic, please read through guides in this section: https://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/343-magic-guides/

 

 

For your open question, please reformulate as I do not understand what your question is.

 

I urgently advise you to read through the comments from the AT onto your previous applications.

 

An additional note:

 

 

Please do your best to correct spelling and grammatical errors, this is an RP server and writing is the main form of communication!

 

Try starting with your application. It gives a better impression if it's written properly.

 

 

Heed our advise.

 

 

 

 

Denied. The changes you made were not sufficient and/or did not cover all points. In reference to that:

 

1. Your character remains too cliché. He is still a lost-my-parents-character.

 

2. Points of personality and ambition were not improved/extended and have no relation with his background.

 

3. In comparison to his skills, his weakness is ridiculous, because you can step on anyone's foot and stab him in the heart to kill him. That ain't difficult.

 

4. Write the application yourself.

 

On a personal note, you should re-write your WHOLE application, overthink your character, pay attention to grammar and spelling (it pays off, trust me) and then proof-read it twice before applying. We don't want to continously deny you, but if you do not put in effort and if you do not listen to what the Application Team tells you, you will not step a single foot into the server.

 

Heed our advise. You may apply again in twenty-four hours.

[Z3r05t4r 855]

Moved to Denied Forum