A Sleepless Night

[Sujamma Addict 514]

“Ma’a salama.”

 

I nearly choked on those words. I’ve used them so often, but this time it felt different. I never had to say farewell to my family, but within these past months it’s become a common saying.

 

Where are they now God?

 

Looking to my wife is when it hits me and I hate myself for having to force myself to smile,  knowing with all my sincerity that she has had it worst than me. I’d never show her the depths of my ill mind, it would only drive her away and then who else would I be an example of the Creator to? The flatterers who keep my cheeks numb? Or perhaps the chair sitting in the gatehouse that does so well in keeping wrongdoers out of the city.There needs to be change, but what is that change?

Growing up brought its slew of drama though; I suppose it does with every child. How oblivious we are to the responsibilities and burdens we’re expected to bear when we come of age, and what awful burdens they are.

I’m only an archetype though.

Or so that’s where this ill mind has brought me to in this stage of my life.

-+-

“Sultan. with me.”

 

Mental toughness.

 

“I’ve decided to stay at Ard Ghorrock with.. my brothers there and I’d ask you to tell mother and father, though I don’t expect them to care much.”

 

How do you respond to that?

 

“I… Understand brother… They probably won’t.”

Molded by the chaos.

-+-

I was dutiful, always agreeing with what my peers told me and learning from their mistakes. I would be brazen at some points to, but I knew my place and dared not cross the boundaries. I had a passion for protecting the weak, but that flame has long  burned out when I was trudging my boots through a sink pit and crying out loud to my comrades who were perishing under a volley of arrows from above. We got the bridges set alright, but when it came time to cross I knew I wouldn’t return, and I was right. My wife and brother serve as an escape or euphoric high from my arbitrary thoughts.

-+-

“He plans to raise me, training me to fight properly.”

But what of his flaws? His lack of honour?

“He’s a good and honourable man. I can’t imagine getting any better guidance.”

 

I jumped from my sleep, luckily not waking Isria. There I rose to my feet and ventured through the desolate hallways to the terrace and looked over the barely shimmering streets.

 

-+-

“I will make you proud brother. Prouder than I ever could here. I’ll visit you, though I make no promises about the others.”

He pushed past his cloak and unsheathed a dull blade as I did the same.An exchange of the extensions of our arms so that one day, when we are together again, we may return them for they were both molded around the wielder not the other way around.

-+-

 

I wipe a bead of sweat from my forehead and look down upon the rubble of my gates and become philosophical about my place here in this nearly uninhabited palace.

 

“I can no longer perform my duties as a brother. grandmaster Baudric.”

“Zhat icht understandable.”

 

-+-

Be headstrong people of Khalestine. Do not be intimidated by the evil of the world, do all things in the name of God, and refrain from vanity for it is better to be content with the gifts God has given you rather than demand more.

-+-

We’re the underdogs now.

 

 

Edited October 5, 2015 by AlteredGENx

[Zhulik 3559]

Decimus claps in his own dream, a tear dripping from his eye.

[Elad™ 560]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.