The Ballad of Adeodatus

[Old Man Boiendl 1454]

(I wrote it in the Summer but never did anything with it. Here is a little play, perhaps to encourage some theater RP, hopefully provide some insight into Asulon for newer players)

The Ballad of Adeodatus

By Mister Edmond JB. Manston

7th of The Amber Cold, 1566

 

About:   Adeodatus’ attempt to run both Church, Brothel and his own family during the First Orenian Empire.

 

Characters:

 

Adeodatus I - The lead of the play, he’s a deeply cynical, bumbling old man who’s found himself as the High Pontiff of the Church of the True Faith. His Clergy skills are lackluster and he acts akin to a jester than priest. He heeds Godfrey’s every word, while not in his presence he tends to be completely outlandish.

 

Throdo- Though older than Adeodatus, he is his adopted son. He’s just as obedient to Godfrey and as outlandish as Adeodatus. His antics are paralleled with an  extreme lack of self worth. His attempts to curry favour with Godfrey always end in a degradation of his own character.

 

Godfrey- Emperor of  the First Orenian Empire. Calculating. He enjoy’s the presence of both Adeodatus and Throdo, at times indulging them in their pursuits to win him over.  

 

Velwyn Ashford- Pious, the shaping of a true clergyman. He has great disdain for Adeodatus’ activities and seeks to usurp his pontificate. Politics and piety conflict within him.

 

Authors Note:

 

Set during the mid 1300’s. The first Orenian Empire is still in its infancy and Emperor Godfrey I is reigning. There's a spirit of optimism amongst the commoners.

 

The pontiff before Adeodatus was Pius I, born Gideon Silverblade. He was a bloodthirsty warlike pontiff who is now believed to be one of the worst pontiffs.

 

The play chronicles the later years of the pontificate of Adeodatus.  Born as Boiendl Silverblade, Adeodatus I focused mainly on tending to the poor and downtrodden. He was under the belief that doing good to the general public will bring the public closer to the Church. But, he suffered from eccentrism. Often he would be seen running through Arethor wearing skimpy outfits. He owned a brothel and attempted to regulate prostitution as Pontiff.

 

Adeodatus  lit a fire under Velwyn Ashford who became motivated to force him to resign as Pontiff. Adeodatus died in the Atherian duchy of Furnstock.  His life full of a duty to the Empire.

 

ACT I

SCENE I- A Regretful Introduction

 

Silence. A dark hallway inside a dimly lit building. A door opens, enter High Pontiff Adeodatus and a boy of questionable age. Past the door there’s a bed lined in a dark red which contrasts the drab rotting walls. A bard can be heard through the walls lightly playing a lute, the notes ring out piercing the walls of the brothel and making its way into the city. The boy leaves the building, leaving only Adeodatus. He makes his way to a nearby fireplace. The scene lightens.

 

Adeodatus looks directly at the audience and offers a quick wink.

 

Adeodatus: “There’s a bit of clergy in that boy. He could be a priest.”

 

Adeodatus: “I am his Holiness, High Pontiff Adeodatus the First,  third High Pontiff to our fair Church. How have  I come to this position? A stroke of luck, mere coincidence that I happen to be related  to the last one, Pius I.  This building we are in, it’s my brothel. The year?  1330 and this is the First Holy Orenian Empire. And worry not for that boy, my fair Emperor Godfrey had me castrated a long time ago.

 

“What you are about to see is my life, pure and without embellishment. You have the honor to see me as I try to manage both Church, Brothel and my son, Throdo Therving. Come now, follow me as I go to the Palace, my coffers run low and the Emperor is generous.”

 

Adeodatus adjusts his robe and hat as he walks out the door.

 

SCENE II- The Mid-Day Grovel

 

The throne room of the palace is lavish. Purple and black drapes hang over the large stains of glass that showcase Godfrey reuniting humanity. The throne sits at the end of the hall, it dwarfs both man and beast. Atop the throne is Emperor Godfrey. An old man is on his knees, gently kissing Godfrey’s feet.

 

Throdo: “My most dearest Emperor!”

 

Each line he speaks, he kisses Godfrey’s feet

 

Throdo: “You, uniter of humanity, Divine and Prophet of our God!

 

Throdo: “I ask you, pity me, I live in a house with Adeodatus, my wife is fat and my dog is rabid. I simply ask for friendship.”

 

Adeodatus stares blankly at the audience, he points behind him to the old man

 

Adeodatus: “You see that man, that old decrepit thing, almost more so than I. That is my son Throdo, rather my adopted son. What you are now witnessing is his daily ritual, kiss the feet and then kiss the ass.”

 

Adeodatus shakes his head and looks back to the throne.

 

Godfrey: “Stop that Throdo! Fine! So be it! I will make you my Chamberlain, you will sit on the Privy, you will manage my personal belongings and you will design me my buildings!”

 

Throdo’s face goes red, he looks up at the Emperor, a tear of joy slightly in his eyes

 

Throdo: “Most esteemed! Most kind!”

 

Throdo would turn and step to the side. Throdo would then smile as he see’s Adeodatus.

 

Throdo: “Hail! Boiendl how goes it?”

 

Adeodatus: “ I am his Holiness, it is Adeodatus to all.”

 

Godfrey turning to the pair, he smiles slightly

 

Godfrey: “Hail! Boiendl how goes it?”

 

Adeodatus turns quickly to the Emperor and offers a deep bow. His cap falling over his face as he does so. He would move to Godfrey’s feet.  Kneeling by them he looks to Godfrey.

 

Adeodatus: “Well, you see your Imperial Highness, the Church coffers run low. A harlot has stolen them from me. I simply ask for a donation.”

 

Godfrey: “And how has this harlot stolen your coffers?”

 

Adeodatus: “Well, she said 100 mina an hour and then her bosoms plucked the coins from my pocket.”  (Adeodatus would turn to the crowd “Do not mock me, they were most grand.”)

 

Godfrey: “Boiendl, this is the third time now this woman has stolen from you. Perhaps it is time we seek her arrest?”

 

Adeodatus: “Your imperial Majesty, you are Head of this Church, I am under you, as a clergyman I must inform, never arrest the person who does the Church a great service.”

 

Godfrey: “So be it, take five thousand more mina, but if you are to lose it again I will find a way to castrate you twice!”

 

Adeodatus bows and turns towards the door, he waves Throdo to follow him. As they begin to leave they say a brief few words.

 

Adeodatus: “Throdo, never grovel. I thought you were one of the whores in my brothel.”

 

Throdo: “Boiendl, I did not know boys grew breasts and stole your money.”

 

Adeodatus reddens deeply

 

SCENE III- Ashes to Ashford

 

Enter into the throne room Velwyn Ashford. Godfrey is still in his throne. The hall has emptied save for Lord Patrick Denims, who is advising  Godfrey. Velwyn looks to be calm and collected. He wears Priest robes and a cross can be seen hanging around his neck.

 

Godfrey: “Young Ashford, to what do I owe this pleasure. His Holiness, Adeodatus, was just in and he seemed to need more gold for the Church. Surely you have come to rob me as well?”

 

Velwyn would noticeably wince at the mention of Adeodatus. His calm expression becomes distorted momentarily, forcing himself to recollect his thoughts.

 

Velwyn: “Your Imperial Majesty, I  come not to rob you, but to save you. To save you from this impish and most outlandish man named Adeodatus.”

 

Patrick leans into Godfrey, whispering something about Velwyn.

Godfrey’s face would distort, his look becoming noticeably sour.

 

Godfrey: “For what reasons do you seek his downfall, young Ashford?”

 

Velwyn: “Heed my word your Imperial Majesty. The man is hardly a man. He degrades his own character and by doing so the Church. He’s a holy man yet owns a brothel. He rides pigs into Ildon, he wears skimpy outfits. Once I saw him in a dress, a woman's dress!”

 

Godfrey sighs, he bobs his head in acknowledgment. He drums the armrest on his throne. Looks directly to Velwyn.

 

Godfrey: “Adeodatus is faithful, he listens to me, and that is the most I can ask for at this moment. While his tendencies lay between outlandish and eccentric he remains completely loyal to me. So  I say this, Young Ashford. I shall give Adeodatus ten years. If he fails to improve by then, he will surely step down.”

 

ACT II

SCENE I-  The Pontiff in Panties

 

It has been one year since Velwyn Ashford and Godfrey spoke. Adeodatus has grown more outlandish. His brothel more  expansive and the Church more lewd. Enter now to the Imperial Capital of Arethor. The streets are crowded. The taverns are full. Snow is lightly capping the roofs of buildings. From a far away glance, a tavern goer may see two old men  arguing on the corner of a street. One dressed in a suit and the other in panties.

 

Adeodatus: “Throdo, who has made this world so cold?”

 

Adeodatus would shiver, his wrinkles moving more so than himself

 

Throdo: “Boiendl, it is the middle of Snow Maiden, you are wearing nothing but women’s garments.”

 

Adeodatus would look at Throdo and offer him a slap across the face. Throdo stumbles backwards.

 

Adeodatus: “You shall not speak  about your High Pontiff in such a manner. What I wear is my holy garments and that shall keep me warm in this winter.”

 

Throdo would rise, he would then lunge at Adeodatus. They were soon locked in a wrestling match in the dirty streets of Arethor. A hooded man would walk near them. Pausing for a moment he watches.

 

Velwyn: “Your holiness…”

 

Throdo and Adeodatus would pause. Adeodatus turns to the audience and offers an aside.

 

Adeodatus: “It was in this moment that I realized I had not done the right thing. My garments seemed to have attracted the completely wrong sort of attention. Perhaps if I wore nothing I would get a lady of the night, rather than this clergyman with the cross so far up his ass he can only take holy shits. Why this man stops to look at two old men, who knows…”

 

Throdo and Adeodatus would rise. Dusting himself off Adeodatus tries to straighten his posture and make himself presentable. He adjusts his panties, raising them slightly as they started to slip. Velwyn stands there, his face unmoving, expressionless.

 

Adeodatus: “Father Ashford, if you intend to gawk in  such a manner perhaps you should go to the Brothel. I am sure a man could be arranged for you.”

 

Velwyn: “Your holiness, you… you should truly go inside. It is cold out and wouldn’t it just be a shame if you froze to death.”

 

Adeodatus: “Ah, Father Ashford, you are always looking out  for me. But do not fear. My garments shall keep me warm. They are wool you see?”

 

Velwyn looks to Throdo who is standing there, a blank look on his face.

 

Velwyn: “It is just a miracle that you two found each other.”

 

Adeodatus: “Not a miracle, for I am his Holiness!”

 

Velwyn: “Good day your Holiness.”

 

Velwyn would depart leaving Adeodatus and Throdo alone. Adeodatus turns to Throdo, he pats  him on his shoulder.

 

Adeodatus: “Throdo, that Velwyn Ashford has it out for me. I truly think there was something malicious about the way he said it would be a shame if I died.  I am starting to think he wouldn’t think it a shame at all.”

 

Throdo: “I am surprised, but then again not so that you have not heard of Velwyn’s meeting with the Emperor. He seeks to usurp your position. The Imperial Court is full  of excitement.”

 

Adeodatus: “What would they be excited for?”

 

Throdo: “They see your pontificate as being rife with hypocrisy and lewdness.”

 

Adeodatus would adjust his panties, pulling them up in a way that would define certain parts of his anatomy and give him a wedgy.

 

Adeodatus: “Absurd.”

 

SCENE II- The Priests of the Round Table

 

A day has passed since Adeodatus’ argument with Throdo. Since then, he has called a Congress of the Faith. The Cathedral in Arethor’s bells ring out. Priests sitting at a large, dark oak round table. Adeodatus is seated directly across from Velwyn. Adeodatus is in red and grey robes, his traditional Pontiff garb. He wears a cardinal hat two sizes too big.  

 

Adeodatus: “I have gathered the Clergy here today to discuss a very pressing issue for our Church. I have heard the most devilish and hurtful rumour that some nobility and even some Clergy may not want me as Pontiff.”

 

The cardinal hat would fall over Adeodatus eyes, he pushes the hat up, eying the men around him carefully. The clergy nods in agreeance to Adeodatus’ words.

 

Velwyn: “Your Holiness, it would appear that these rumours are true. There are those who seek your removal. But fear not, I shall be here to aid you.”

 

Adeodatus would turn to the audience

 

Adeodatus: “If I could tell the future, I would say these Ashfords not telling the complete truth is going to be quite the trend.”

 

Adeodatus would eye Velwyn and then the rest of the Clergy

 

Adeodatus: “You all mock me as I do not adhere to your standard of Pontiff. You and the nobility seek my removal because I do not service either you or the nobility, nay, I fend for the common rabble.”

 

“I have put up stands where alms may be given out, I have held festivals not in the name of Kings but in the name of local heroes. My own peculiarities, though I do not think them such, lift the people’s spirits.”

 

“Be thankful for what I do, as if without me the people would surely revolt. You are all too preoccupied with the governance and manicure of them you have forgotten that they are GOD’s children too.”

 

Adeodatus would rise from the table. Turning to the door he makes his way out. On leaving the Cathedral he would find himself waist high in water.  He would adjust his cardinal hat, raising it above his eyes.

 

Adeodatus: “If this water is tears, for where do they come from, does GOD weep for me or for my flock?”

 

SCENE III- An Exit from Asulon

 

Flooding has taken hold of the Continent of Asulon, prompting immediate departure of its inhabitants. Adeodatus has taken what he can save from the banks. Running towards the ships coin falls out of his robes. Throdo can be seen scurrying about, trying to find and save his dignity. Godfrey calmly walks towards the docks, his personal levy flanking his sides. Velwyn is seen carrying Holy Texts, trying to save parts of the Church.

 

They  all meet on the docks, each with a different item in hand. Adeodatus has sacks of money, Godfrey has the Sword of Horen, Velwyn has holy scrolls and Throdo has a wedding ring.

 

Adeodatus: “Your Imperial Majesty, such travesty has struck our lands! Forced to flee in such a way, how demeaning.”

 

Godfrey: “Fear not Boiendl, both Empire and Church shall persist, if not here then in the next realm. We are born for greatness and GOD has blessed humanity with an ambitious spirit. Tell me, why have you saved those gold pieces rather than something from the Church?”

 

Adeodatus: “I had heard rumours some men worship gold coin, I thought this may attract more to the flock.”

 

Velwyn smirks, tapping the scrolls in his hand

 

Velwyn: “This is the only thing that attracts people to the flock, the scrolls!”

 

Godfrey would nod to both, he would then show them the sword of Horen

 

Godfrey: “And this sword shall defend whomever go to the Flock.”

 

Godfrey would sheathe the sword and look to Throdo, Godfrey rubs his own chin in  thought to why Throdo would have nothing more than a ring.

 

Godfrey: “Throdo, where are your personal belongings, you bring nothing but this ring? Where is your fat wife and your rabid dog?”

 

Throdo: “My wife who’s most kind, let me have this ring. She said she would rather drown then keep on being my wife. And  she said she is keeping both dog and all I own.”

 

Godfrey: “Ah yes, well. You will learn Throdo that the only women who care are the ones you pay.”

 

The four nod in agreement before stepping onto the H.M.S Godfrey and setting sail to a new world.

 

Act III

SCENE I- Elysium

 

After many months at sea, those who managed to escape the flooding now land in Elysium. The ships dock off the coast and men row onto shore. Men of all walks begin to cut down lumber, raise homes and recuperate their losses. Adeodatus and Throdo have made a small home for themselves. The interior is dimly lit and poorly furnished.  Adeodatus sits in a chair looking out the window onto a riverbank. Throdo stands beside him.

 

Adeodatus: “This new land, it promises a new start Throdo. And I fear Velwyn has made his final push with Godfrey. My days as Pontiff are numbered.”

 

Throdo: “Worry not, Godfrey would never replace you.”

 

Adeodatus: “No, I believe things will change, both for the Church and Empire. My antics as Father Ashford likes to refer to them as will become taboo. Pontiffs will focus more on their political ambition than on their holy one. What we enter now is the end of more than just an old realm, it is the end of an era. Tomorrow I will resign as Pontiff. Abdicating to young Ashford.

 

Adeodatus would rise, he holds Throdo’s shoulder for a moment, locking eyes. He then would walk by him and into his room, where he would fall asleep. Leaving Throdo to look out the window.

 

Throdo: “Never have I seen  a realm more terrifying and more breathtaking than this.”  

 

SCENE II- Godfrey’s Soliloquy

 

Enter Emperor Godfrey Horen the First into his new home. It is carpeted with purple and black, it’s wall have pictures of the founding of Renatus and defeat of Hanseti. He is alone. Men and beast alike have fallen asleep leaving only Godfrey and himself to stay awake.

 

Godfrey: “I am at a crossroads. Velwyn grows more thirsty for the position of Pontiff. Do his political pursuits outweigh his pious ones? Will a precedent never seen before be set by this Ashford?”

 

“And Boiendl, what will become of him? Surely he is able to see why it would be apparent  that he needs to abdicate to Ashford?”

 

“My thoughts are unclear… this new land has thrown order into disarray. People build makeshift homes that stand great chance of collapse. The Empire, though still strong, is facing external threats. And what of my own legacy?”

 

“I wish to be remembered, no. Revered. I am Godfrey, first of his name, uniter of Man. But will this desire cloud my vision. Is this ambitious spirit beset upon me by GOD more curse than blessing? Rogues are everywhere and those who simply further themselves surround me.”

 

“I must sleep… in the morning I will have a clear head. And yet tomorrow I know, something will change.”

 

Exit Godfrey.

 

SCENE III- Lucien I

 

It is now mid-day, nobles and clergy have been called to the makeshift throne room. Godfrey sits on his throne, waiting for everyone to hurry. Adeodatus stands beside him, his face pale and clearly distraught. Velwyn stands on the opposite side of Godfrey. Velwyn’s excitement is noticeable.

 

Godfrey would bang on the armrest of his chair

Godfrey: “Silence in these halls! I shall have Silence!”

 

The nobles voices die down to a murmur

 

Godfrey: “I believe it was his Holiness, High Pontiff Adeodatus who asked me to call all here. I shall let him speak.”

 

Adeodatus steps forward, he adjusts his robes, looking out over the crowd he  quickly does the lorraine cross

 

Adeodatus: “I abdicate the pontificate to Velwyn Ashford.”

 

A few in the crowd clap, some of them let out low cheers. But for the most part, it was shock.

 

Velwyn grins, his own scheming and politicking has come to fruition

 

Moments pass without anyone saying anything. Godfrey finally breaks the silence.

 

Godfrey: “Seeing that this is so…  impromptu on behalf of  his Holiness. I see it only fit for Velwyn Ashford to declare his Pontificate and name.

 

Velwyn Ashford: “Lucien the First.”

 

The lights fade out

 

Adeodatus steps forward, he speaks to the audience

 

Adeodatus: “I do not know what I was expecting when I began this venture of Pontiff. I do not know if I was ever particularly fit to do it. But this is my story. I will now slip into the recesses of Oren. I shall watch Lucien I from afar. I am both brotheless and pontiffless, now I only have Throdo. How far my life has slipped.”  

 

FIN.

 

[osumanduas 1442]

The Pontiff gives a pleasing review.

 

"A surprisingly accurate and refreshing history of the First Empire and her Church. Blessed Adeodatus was not known for his wits, lucky for him Manston's portrayal has a significantly portion for all to revel in."

 

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[Dohvi 622]

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