HARJALAINEN ET AL. VS THE CROWN

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HARJALAINEN ET AL. VS THE CROWN

 

10th Amber Cold, 1756.

 

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THE PLAINTIFFS, pigs et al., hereafter referred to as “farm animals”,
 
Represented pro bono by Sir Veikko Harjalainen, Esq.

DESIRES TO SUMMON THE FOLLOWING PARTY TO COURT;
 
The Imperial Cabinet

 

 

ON THE BASIS OF THE FOLLOWING PRINCIPLE(S), DOCTRINE(S), EDICT(S) OR ARTICLES OF LAW;

 

1. The plaintiff, farm animals, are Orenian nationals, who were born between 1753-1756 and lived in Helena. They are represented before the Court by Sir Veikko Harjalainen, a lawyer practising in Helena.

 

2. Pursuant to sec. 3 of “The Opinion of the Court Regarding the Status of Wonks”, the supreme court of the empire has engendered all sentient animals with legal personhood, mutatis mutandis engendering the aggrieved parties with this personhood.

 

3. The empire operates state farms for the production of food for the benefit of its citizens.

 

3. The plaintiff, now legally people by virtue of judgement of judge John d’Arkent, are therefore held against their will in these farms.

 

4. The empire is subsequently engaging in slavery, and subsequently manslaughter when culling this “livestock”.

 

COMPLAINTS

 

Citing Arts. 1 and 2, 6 § 2, and 7 of Table I of the Lex Criminalis and Arts. 2 and 7 of Table I of the Lex Haraccene, the plaintiff complains about the implication of the State authority in the slavery and death of its citizens.

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A few burghers discuss the trial from the comfort of their Helenese chateau.

 

”Dear ol’chap, ponder thus: deign shall a senator of swine make?” says the first, a larger set man with a mustache.

 

”A woman loose was Sarai not? Of that, pigs in the Senate enough has been had.” says the second, a taller man with even thinner hair.

 

They both laugh and decide to attend the local theatre, in hopes of crude enjoyment at a mummer’s play.