PIT'S CLOSED

[Islamadon 9163]

2A46 MENSIS SEGIMONDITES

 

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Ministry of Entertainment

Braecorp LTD Aviary

IV Occident Street

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

FLESH PIT IS CLOSED

 

Du Loc, New Ildon - Braecorp Family Entertainment, a subsidiary of Braecorp LTD and which represents the interests of the Du Locian tourist industry in addition to all things fun and wacky, expresses its condolences to those affected by the recent closing of the Great Du Locian Flesh Pit™. This is the result of recent events whereby an illicit band of trespassing adventurers sabotaged the attraction via acid bombing; the ride shall be placed on permanent hiatus due to the irreparable damage caused.

 

According to Braecorp Private Investigators, a group of nine meddling corporate saboteurs polluted the Great Du Locian Flesh Pit™ by dumping numerous barrels of sedatives including but not limited to: Blissfoil, Cactus Green, Diddyfunkle, Alabaster Leaf and Lye. Following this, the trespassers managed to vandalize their way through the attraction until they reached the central core of the site, the Gibbering Heart. There they proceeded to lob explosives until the natural cleansing acids began to erode the core itself, inevitably resulting in the collapse of the service tunnels. Braecorp Private Investigators assert that it was indeed corporate sabotage as a man emerged from a portal claiming that they had performed diligently for their employers.

 

Braecorp LTD assures its customers that they will be provided refunds, effective immediately, to any individual or family who had previously purchased tickets to visit the Great Du Locian Flesh Pit™. Braecorp LTD also extends its thoughts and prayers to the hardworking employees who are now affected by the shut down.
 

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[Reckless Banzai Screamer 15456]

 

Father Paco prays the refunds don't lead to another economic crash for the parish.

 

"GOD got us, bebe GOD got de ninos..."