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The Bishop's Virtue - A Satirical Song


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The Bishop's Virtue

Author unknown, earliest attestation 1530

 


A song dating to the reign of Emperor John I, referencing the rapid changes in Orenian government and Church doctrine in the preceding century. In particular, The Bishop's Virtue satirizes the alleged tendency of contemporary clergymen to change their beliefs as often as was necessary to maintain their office.


 

When William Horen reigned benign,

and ancient doctrine nothing meant,

I called old emperors Divine[1]

and earned priestly appointment.

Each mass I preached unto the realm,

“Our armies shall--by God--return[2]

with good St. Peter at the helm,

and soon we’ll see the Raevir burn.”

 

[Chorus] The Truest Faith that I maintain,

the bishop’s greatest Virtue:

that whatsoever man should reign,

his faith I shall defer to!

 

When Siegmund’s crows began their watch,

I switched to the Raevir’s side,

the liturgies I preached in Botch,[3]

and took me a clerical bride.[4]

Old principles I did declaim,

and damned the Incarnation;[5]

On Horen’s Exodus I blamed[6]

the suffering of the nation.

 

[Chorus]

 

When poor King Franz, Decterum slew,[7]

Again I changed allegiance

and pledged my loyal service to

the One True Church’s regents.[8]

Unto my Flock I would proclaim:

“The Lord had dwelt in Godfrey,[9]

and damned are those who dare defame

his servant, John of Darfey!”[10]

 

[Chorus]

 

When Peter put on Godfrey’s crown,[11]

‘Twas time to change my tune once more.

The Darfeyists I shouted down,[12]

and independent church foreswore.

“By Emperors alone,” I said,

“can a Pontiff be selected!”[13]

(And nevermind the one they’d killed,

that fellow I elected.)

 

[Chorus]

 

Then Oliver had Ashford’s day,

and I cried “Canonist and Proud!”[14]

I smirked in the Savoyard way;

old empires I disavowed.

Within our Church I claimed no sect,[15]

but that of the Faith’s Defender,

and fervently I did reject

Charles the Old Pretender.[16]

 

[Chorus]

 

Now the reign of Emperor John,

and the Horen Restoration.[17]

To these I loyally will serve,

whilst they should hold the nation.

For in my faith and loyalty,

I never once will falter,

But John my lawful lord shall be,

unless the times should alter.

 

The Truest Faith that I maintain,

the bishop’s greatest Virtue:

that whatsoever man should reign,

his faith I shall defer to!

 


Footnotes

 

1: The title Divine was used to refer to certain emperors in the Imperial Traditionalist sect

2: Refers to the fact that the larger part of Oren's armies had left to Aeldin (called the Exodus), resulting in Emperor William being forced to demote himself to king.

3: Raevir Botch, the dialect of Ex. Sigismund Carrion's people.

4: Ruskan Orthodoxy, the sect of the Raevir people, practiced clerical marriage.

5: Refers to the doctrine that Ex. Godfrey was the incarnation of God, which Ex. Sigismund rejected.

6: Emperor Orian I, previously considered Divine, was later villified for causing the Empire's downfall with his Exodus.

7: The Decterum Order slew Francis Carrion at his coronation, on the orders of the anti-Raevir bishop, John of Darfey.

8: The Church established a regency council over Oren rather than crown a replacement for Francis Carrion.

9: The Imperial Traditionalist sect had a brief resurgence under the regency.

10: John of Darfey, a bastard of the Horen family, was elected High Pontiff Paul III.

11: Refers to St. Peter Chivay being announced as emperor by an apparition of Ex. Godfrey.

12: Darfeyists were persecuted by Emperor Peter I for the Franciscan Massacre.

13: The Church was briefly brought under the Emperor's authority for the aforementioned reasons.

14: A popular saying in the war leading up to Olivier de Savoie's coronation.

15: Refers to the Church of the Canon beginning to discourage sectarian groups such as the Imperial Traditionalists and Ruskan Orthodox.

16: Charles Henry Horen, called the Old Pretender, forced to swear monastic vows by Olivier de Savoie in order to remove his imperial claim.

17: John I called his coronation the "Horen Restoration", as he was the first Horen ruler since William I.

 

Spoiler

Based on the Vicar of Bray

 

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