The will to march onward leaves me. . . The Pk Of Sam Tarto Darkwood

[Kirakuru 152]

 

Ever since I was young I have believed in helping others and wanting to be the best I can be. Born in old Celianor, moving onto Haelunor in later years. . . encountering monsters a child like me shouldn't have. Watching my Maln be murdered before me. Watching and interacting with him like it did not happen filled me with dread and sorrow. 

 

In short i was born to suffer from my youth feeling sorrow and unable to act upon it. Unskilled, unable to save anyone. . . unable to assist only be a detriment. So I left home in order to become stronger to become much more than what I was. When I was young I believed I had the possibility of growing into someone who can save lives. How immature and pitiful he was to believe that. He may have found friends and a greater family in others but he could not improve. His motivation was shallow and did not amount to anything.

 

Becoming a husk of what he wants, he has the abilities. Having the knowledge to utilise the void and physical prowess to compliment it. The cost. . . the weight was much more than he expected. How can someone save a person they don't know if they cant sympathise with them afterall? My smile. . . my warmth and my ability to look at another with my mind clean and thinking of the best was lost. The moment I became such an abomination- such a fool to believe that the cost was much less due to the poison being less.

 

The amount might've been less, but the effect was not. My friends and family made me feel comforted and felt more like people to observe. Oh so distant I felt, even with people I confide with I felt no spark. The sparks only flew with my moments with my beloved.

 

Meeting Ivory within one of the loneliest points of time, she saved me and gave me the will to continue my self destruction. Her existence was one of the few blessings in my life even though she was a curse onto me. I saw my future with her and created a life with her, our love blossoming into a bloody and thorny rose bush.

 

The disgust of everyone towards my relationship with Ivory perhaps was one of the instigators for my mind’s decline. It had made my already volatile mind become guarded and isolated from everyone. Making me feel as if the release of the simple information of who I love would lead to everyone wanting to slay me. 

 

So I had carried this in my heart, into our journey to the continent of Azuras. Having become slightly more free when she had changed herself so we could exist in peace. It was nice and I enjoyed life. Though she began to become more distant.

 

She came back from time to time. . . but not for long she remained far to where I don't know. That's when my grip most likely loosened the most. As the once bustling Cerulia began to grow silent and the scores of people that once roared in joy became hushed.

 

The silence and the brutalisation of my body- my uselessness before demons and beings beyond me. Others being hurt angered the last of what was in me. I wanted to become at least strong enough to help them. I could do anything, it all did nothing. My life was useless so why must i think any more than what's given. My mind’s chaos should be controlling my actions. . . thinking did nothing and brought me nothing. What would chaos do any differently or worse?

 

So youve banned me cerulia and have executed me- i must say it is the best thing you've done. I'm free, I no longer need to try. My loneliness will just fade with me. My uselessness won't harm anyone and I am no longer burdened.

 

So as Gusiam attempts to lower his executioner’s blade onto me. I give up the final sparks of my will to move onward. Gusiam, you may wonder why I acted in such ways. In truth it was all a spur of the moment. Not even sparks are pushing me forward rather the fumes of my own poison. My mind was never well, they spoke and shroud my mind in noise and with that I attempted to be solemn. Crowded my head was, I felt as if I was alone and no matter how much I wanted to become ‘friends’ with others I couldn't feel such warmth or harness it to dissuade these voices. I attempted to kill those citizens due to pride and my slipping sanity.

 

You've made my choice clearer, I would've done this anyways. . .

 

To my dearest mother secondary mother Lenore.

 

Thank you for raising my children instead. I was never cut out to raise them, I simply wanted to make sure these two would grow to be great people. Thank you for existing and being someone who kept me anchored at times.

 

To you I leave all my knick knacks and collections of interesting items. Do whatever you want to them. . . i wont be there to judge you anyways.

 

To my dearest mother third mother Thalis.

 

Thalis my mentor in alchemy and scolding voice- more brave and guiding than my very own blood mother and father. Your voice has kept me clinging to life- thank you for all that you have given me your time and all. Surprised that I would be the one going out first, I had thought old age would've gotten to you first.

 

I leave to you my last stock of herbs, I hope you can make use of them. 

 

To my little darling sister Evelyn.

 

At times we cannot see eye to eye though these times are sparse I still believe you are capable of doing well. I know you are pursuing your romantic partner in Trenopia, and I wish you the best in it. I barely talk to you- this is not an action of hate i just did not want to hurt you. My little sister.

 

To you I leave my best wishes in your love alongside 100 mina set towards it. Alongside this I handoff my plushies from my youth.

 

To my charming sister Astrid.

 

I know I've abandoned you before you've completed your lessons little sister. I couldn't stay much longer to teach you a little bit more. I'm far too terrible of a brother to have such an endearing sister such as you and Evelyn. 

 

To you I leave my collection of books on all subjects pertaining to alchemy and materials. To assist you in your future i hope this helps- i wish i could've gotten better stuff for you.

 

To my dearest Father Kirkigar.

 

Though I abandoned the family for my selfishness you still allowed me back in. . . im sorry for all that I have done and what I've just done. I can no longer last within this world, I was not meant for it. I cannot really leave you anything other than my children to look after- for i know that they will be faced with greater trials.

 

To my near absentee mother Amelia.

 

Even though i didnt see much of you i still love you, call it unconditional love. But each moment with you still warmed me even as I faded internally. The same with Kirkigar I leave to you your grandchildren. I'm sorry I leave this to you. I could not think of anything and i dont know what would suit you most.

 

To my closest friend Elijah.

 

Elijah, you were kind to me for no reason and for that I can say that you were truly my closest friend. Speaking of magical equipment and speaking of money was amusing and nice in passing the time. I'm happy that I was least able to see your romantic peak. With the marriage with Aurelith I'm sorry to burden you after such a wonderful moment in your life. Thank you for everything.

 

To you I leave 290 minas from me to you, spend it on something nice.

 

To my exceptional teacher Sir Isaac.

 

Thank you Sir Isaac for guiding me into the void, teaching me how to properly utilize this power. Giving me the ability I greedily sought after, I wish I could've been of more assistance. . . but seems like I could do much for you. I can sadly give to you these words.

 

To the amusing Gwen.

 

Spending time with you Gwen was fun, moments that gave me some fun and burned the time that I would've wasted elsewhere. You gave me some experiences and moments that allowed me to further myself. Thank you for everything.

 

To you I leave my alcohol collection.

 

To my dearest son, Akal’ahern.

 

I'm sorry you were given to a father such as myself, I had taken you from a woman that would've slain you for being a halfbreed out of pity. I am a father undeserving of you, so I simply attempted to give you the best by sending you to Norland. I'm sorry for everything.

 

I offer to you my Ex-caliburn blade.

 

To my dearest daughter, Celiantes.

 

My darling last star, I'm sorry you were born to a mistake such as I. I bound you to a curse- to me and your mother. We- no i couldnt give you the best i can only hope you find your calling and become happy past me and past your mother. 

 

I leave you my first purchase, the scabbard Caliburn.

Spoiler

Though i doubt anyone would notice. . . im just noise in a crowd anyways.

ooc : i loved playing Damien though he began to grow stale and one dimensional. His entire personality was to orientated towards being distant and anti social which prevented him from entirely social. It was fun playing even with this factor. Was fun playing with the sad lil guy. hoping that we have more fun rp encounters in the future :].

 

[Spellblades 749]

 Ser Leif had a habit of annoying Damien when he was alive, even sometimes helping the man when needed. The Whitewood looked down from the skies at the man's execution, offering a prayer

 

"Rest well."

 

 

 

[TrisTheWarrior 59]

And so, a bard awaited upon Cerulia's wall. - His own weapon leading towards the capture, towards the death of the very known Damien. . . - Was his name Damien? - At least, that's what most thought, and what he will believe from now into the future. - Yet, he waited and waited, but one thing he knew for sure. - The name, Damien, Vigil. - The rough description, it never returned. - For the name stood, to not be uttered by the real holder for the next years, perhaps thousands, perhaps. Never. - What an odd feeling. - Fenrir stood as the root cause of Damien's death, always being the core of his capture, both times. - Yet never the one to end his life. - But he knew it was a fact that did not make him innocent.

 

"And so. - We look upon the lands once forgotten. - A thing of the old. - And the new. - Side by side.

 

How odd this world must be. - How odd the very lives it holds. - A punishment. . . - The power of a scion. - Who knows its source.

 

Yet with every power comes a price. - Perhaps, just a little. - Damien fell due to that very price.

 

Perhaps, we will meet again. - One day. - Don't you think so?"

 

 

The bard uttered in the dark night, standing upon the city's very wall. - Speaking in a whisper, as he rose his finger, along with his channelled mana. - The odd, ashy iron ingot holding Damien's face. . . - Bestow a spell upon it. - Never will it be the real one. - Yet even the dark, yet even the 'evil' deserve a grave. - A Rememberance. - If no one was going to give him one. - He was. - For in truth. - Now in death. - What is his soul? - But a lost being, through the stream?

 

 

 

Spoiler

I must say. - Perhaps I did not roleplay with Damien as much earlier than now at his current ending. - Do I feel sad it's over? That the character is gone? Very much so. Whether it be a fight, or an annoying conversation, it was fun. - And in the end, is that not what matters? To have fun? - Maybe, perhaps we will see him again, or never. Goodbye, Damien. - And let's see what Kira has next in his plan.

 

[Rig 17579]

It began many years ago as Damien and his father wandered onto the sands near Amathine and bore witness to a horrific creature. It resembled a a creature that looked like a cross between a Wendigo and a Minotaur, with a fierce looking ram skull mask. From that moment, though they met infrequently, their two souls were bound to cross again and again. For Damien's entire life, this specter haunted him, hurting and harassing him at every turn. From situations such as having Damien's arm shattered, his face lit on fire with alchemist's fire, or far worse... Oddly, the Zar'akal grew used to Damien's presence, and viewed each time that he ran into the Mage with amusement.

 

One day, he realized Damien must be dead, and he was beset by a strange feeling. Was it over that quickly? Are mortal lives truly so short and easily extinguished? He was disappointed. Who else would he just stumble onto and torture repeatedly? This disrupted his occasional bouts of amusement he got from unintentionally running into and grotesquely torturing the young man.

 

Vriza and Damien would never play their game of cat and mouse again.

[Keening 1264]

A towering high elf scanned the missive and his lips gradually pursed into a line.

 

The accusations he had heard seemed to be false, thus he pushed them from his mind.

In their place stood a solemn reminder; boundless pride was a poison. It often leads you astray.

 

Damien may have been no voidal terrorist, but he was certainly misled - misguided.

Perhaps things would have been different for Damien if he'd been given a proper environment.

 

Lothric would have to spend time mulling this over.

 

-

 

A dead high elf thought he witnessed a familiar face in the sea of fellow souls trapped in the Ebrietaes.

 

Madness must have crept closer, catching him unawares. His certainty was eroding in this place.

 

Khel'rost steeled himself for a moment before being whisked deep below the surface.

 

The familiar face and thoughts were soon forgotten, pushed aside by the suffering which surrounded him.

[Eliseth 134]

A personal retrospective on Akal following the execution of his father -

Akal'Ahern awoke within his barracks - seemingly another day for the young man. He followed his mundane routine, moving into the vibrant and beautiful city of Cerulia. He answered the gates, welcoming in travelers and tended to his duties. Throughout his day, he found respite - and, possibly on a whim, decided to visit his father. The young boy, immature to the world and it's brevity for those you hold dear. He saw the door open, the house barren of it's decor he had become so accustomed to.

He was uneasy during his patrol, keeping an eye out for anyone that could answer this question burning in the back of his mind. Then he spotted her - the field marshal Ilmra. "Ilmra - C-can we speak?" The young boy mustered with what little strength he had. They met within her office - a discussion of the events ensued. 

He laid his sword upon the chair in her office "I am resigning from my post" Left his mouth, somehow having enough courage to even mutter such a phrase.

After a long conversation the words were finally met with "You are herby dismissed from the Cerulite Military". The boy felt - uncertain if this was the right move, but he was out to find his true purpose - not finding some complacency within his ideal world that he built himself. 

Akal - found himself deep within the woods, where no one could hear his cries of pain or weakness of his loss. His weeps were lost to the world - as his father was lost to him. As he took for granted, the fact that elven lifespans could be cut short by something as simple as steel. A lesson he will carry with his rather short lifespan compared to his family.
 

Spoiler

Kira thank you for taking me in and being such an excellent person. I look forward to our future rp - whatever that may look like. Akal will continue on, trying to find a purpose.
Thank you <3