So To These Stanzas I Confide

[KeiaTypeBeat 3277]

I don't understand what's going on anymore

Thought I had it figured out but that was all before

You walked into my life without a rhyme or any reason

Now we talk all night; I haven't got a clue what I'm feelin'

Conversations with you make me feel like I am tweakin'

You make me want to give you every second of my weekend

I wanna know how you work, how you tick, I want your every comment and opinion 

So tell me all your thoughts, all your wants, and every secret

 

What's wrong with me?

I talk endlessly

But you never seem to mind 

I tried to scare you off, 

You doubled down

Said everything was fine

But how can it be fine?

 

There's too much on my mind

I can't keep it all inside 

So to these stanzas I confide 

The condition of my mind

I can't keep it all inside 

In these pages I confide

Contradictions on my mind 

 

Reality 

And history

Say to me 

I'll never be 

The apple of your eye 

And I spell out our demise 

When I start to pine, pine, pine

For a love that won't be mine

 

Every chemical in my head 

Bring these feels to the surface

All I can do, I guess 

Is give these feelings some purpose

Find some way to express

Everything your kindness 

Honestly does to me

 

You tell me lovely things that I struggle to believe 

You call me so pragmatic, honest, kind, and really interesting 

What really fucks me up is that you know about my history 

The reputation that I had made me think you wouldn't like me

I've worked hard on myself; I want to say that I have changed

And you say it's night and day, the ways that I have changed 

It was easier before, when I thought myself abhorred

But now you make me feel like I could be adored 

That shouldn't be; nothing goes my way 

So it's hard to trust the words you have to say

The ones that hype me up and make me feel like I'm okay 

 

I'm not okay

Something's wrong with me

I talk endlessly

But you never seem to mind 

I tried to scare you off

You doubled down

Said everything was fine

But how can it be fine?

 

There's too much on my mind

I can't keep it all inside 

So to these stanzas I confide 

The condition of my mind

I can't keep it all inside 

In these pages I confide

Contradictions on my mind 

 

Reality 

And history

Say to me 

I'll never be 

The apple of your eye 

And I spell out our demise 

When I start to pine, pine, pine, pine, pine

For a love that won't be mine, mine, mine, mine, mine

 

Every chemical in my head 

Bring these feels to the surface

All I can do, I guess 

Is give these feelings some purpose

Find some way to express

Everything your kindness 

Honestly does to me