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[Denied]lucaiskook's applicatio (Fixed)

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lucaiskook

By lucaiskook,
in Denied Applications

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lucaiskook    0

lucaiskook
Posted

-Minecraft Account Name: lucaiskook

-How old are you?: 16

-Time-Zone/Country of Residence: i duno but i live in Swizerland

-Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?: i am american but i like to use (u)you ®are and stuf like that

-Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself: I am good with Mac Computers if you need a question on Macs you can ask me. I im calm about 95% of the time but i can get Mad cuz well im only Human.

-How much time could you be on the server weekly?: i can play about 10-20 hours

-How long have you played minecraft?: I have been playing Minecraft since 1.6

-What do you know about roleplaying?: I know things from fantasy to real life RP. For this server, I can tell it's fantasy. I know many of the terms, and races used. I know how to react to other characters, both negatively and positively. A RP on a server is a Character you play (example Yogscast)

-What do you expect this server will be like?: An epic server i saw the vid and knew i hade to join. It looks like the best server i had ever seen. i have all reday noticed the nice GM's

-What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?: I left the other servers because this one puts the rest of the servers in like rank 10000 and this server is rank 1.

-Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules?: yes i have and i respect them all.

-Name the 4 races on this server: Elves, Orcs, Humans, Dwarves,not including the subraces, Undead and Ascended.

-How did you hear about us?: I was watching a YouTube Vid about the server and then i wached the trailer

-What is your The Lord Of Craft forum account name?: lucaiskook

In-Character:

-Character Name: Therous

-What is your Race?: Orc (the best class there is)

-Biography: Therous lived a relatively peaceful life with his father in a small village. Therous was always a bit smarter then others his age, but never showed it, always hiding his face and keeping silent. His whole life had changed when the humans has invaded, taking many Orcs', including his father, away. Therous never saw his father after that, and he became enraged, vowing to take revenge for what had happened to him. After his father was taken, Therous set off into the wilderness to train himself both mentally and physically, testing himself. He learned how to control his own anger, and use that anger for defense. Since Therous vowed to avenge his father, he had been running plans through his mind. Now Therous is older and wiser, feeling stronger in mind, body and heart. Preparing for the day he avenges his father.

-Character Age: 26 a strong Orc that will fight for his Honor

-Character Appearance: Therous is a tall, 6'8" Orc, rugged in appearance. He had long, shaggy hair that was mostly tattered, though he then got it shaved, leaving a short pony tail. His face is not the prettiest, and his eyes are blood red. His teeth stick out from his mouth, two sticking above his upper lip. He has a choppy beard, and like most Orcs, green skin. Therous mainly wears his tattered cloths, including his baggy, worn out pants, his tattered shirt, and a scarf that he wears, worn out from the years. Most of the shirt has ripped, bearing his skin and scars that line his sides. Under the ragged clothes he wears light armor, and chains crossing his chest, covering a scar on his chest. Therous bears a scar running across his face, from one cheek bone, over his nose, to the other side, the scar he was given when the humans invaded. He sees it as a sign of his vow.

-Character Personality: Therous is neither noble nor a brute. Since he has been training for a while, Therous is not used to company. Therous is still polite when it comes to non suspicious characters, and ones that show kindness. Therous is not afraid to fight, so he will do so when provoked or threatened. Therous, despite his size, has a small voice, but speaks out when he sees needed. He is also willing to fight for his friends and would never hurt a fellow Orc.

-Your ambitions: To avenge his father. And make the humans who kidnapped his father Pay for what they did.

-Can your character read or write?: He can Read and write perfectly.

-Can your character mine?: He can Mine vary well

-Are you a capable builder?: He is not a bad builder but does not like to build.

-Can you wield a sword?: He could wield a sword since he was a kid and he has gotten better every day.

-Enjoy Farming?: He Farms for food and sells it for money.

-Does your character have any special skills?: He has red eyes that can stun any pray he wares glasses to hold in the power but when he takes them off he is practically unstoppable

-A screenshot of your skin: http://minecraftskins.com/preview/both/9/235255

-Other Information: LOL you would not Believe my younger brother took my computer and was messing with it and deleted my Character description and Biography and stuff lol i got it back here is the real version.

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Taiga    764

Taiga
Posted

Your Application has been...

DENIED

Reason(s)Why Your Application Was Denied:

Role Play:

Missing Biography [ ]

-Short Biography [ ]

Insufficient Information in OOC [ ]

Insufficient Knowledge on Role Play [X]

Insufficient Knowledge upon World [ ]

Incorrect Lore / Other-Worldly Lore [ ]

Power/Metagaming [ ]

Conflicting Status [ ]

Form:

Bad Spelling/Grammar [X]

Missing Areas [ ]

Breaking Rules [ ]

Skin:

Missing Skin [ ]

-Skin Doesn't Fit Character [ ]

-Incorrect Character Description [ ]

-Incorrect Skin Format [ ]

-Unloreful Skin [ ]

Other Comments:

The biography and everything were great, but your definition of Role Play is... incomplete. Please elaborate on what Role Play truly is. And fix the grammar too. It was a bit rough reading through the "LOL" and "U R"s.

Thanks.

If you have any Questions or concerns, feel free to send a Private Message to my account!

<3

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James Undercroft    129

James Undercroft
Posted

Hello there, I will answer your questions as SimonBane will usually only post a single reply saying what you did wrong and will leave you to figure it out yourself. Simon if you are reading this I believe that the way you have of "checking" the boxes of what people do wrong can be fairly misleading, I suggest that you only put in those criterea that apply to the person in question.

Lucasiskook, what he is saying is this: Insufficient Knowledge on Role Play [X] and Bad Spelling/Grammar [X]. These are the two reasons why he has declined you. Please ignore everything without an [X] next to it.

What he is saying is to be accepted on this server you must improve your grip on the english language. If english is your second language then please do tell us so the people accepting your application can display some leiniency with your application. To improve your grammar properly capitalize the i's into I and fix all of your spelling mistakes. I suggest copy/pasting your entire application into a word processing program such as Microsoft Word or Open Office (or another with a spelling checker) and then fix all of your errors.

Please do not use words such as lol, r, and u in roleplay and even just on the forums out of character do not use r and u. While it is not against the rules, people really dislike it.

He also said that "your definition of Role Play is... incomplete. Please elaborate on what Role Play truly is."

To him you do not fully understand what role playing is all about. Or at least you have a half-completed idea that you need to expand apon. Just give some more information on it basically.

Glad to help, if you have any questions private message me on the forums by clicking the little picture of an envolope underneath my name and typing in a subject and a message. (If you do not type in a subject the message will not send)

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lucaiskook    0

lucaiskook
  • Author
Posted

ok thanks for the information about the [] and [x]. English is my first language but i have a big case of dyslexia but i can do proper grammar.

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James Undercroft    129

James Undercroft
Posted

Dyslexia does also count. Please mention this in your next application then.

Also do not post another application for another 2 days (I believe the limit is now 48 hours? I have seen many application team members mention this recently...). Plan your application by writing it in Microsoft word and keep improving it until you get it just right. Then when you think it is perfect and it has been two days, Post it! ^^

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