2.0 Character: Keish'pir, Morri'quessir Villain

[LaCabra (Soda) 1519]

Hello, everyone on the forums! As I said in the title, I will be making a native Dark Elf (Morri'Quessir) for "Aegis 2.0"

I am leaning towards making this similar to Gollum, the Tolkein character. To do this, I WILL NEED TO CREATE A SUCCESSFUL VILLAIN APPLICATION. I hope to make this character rich in lore, spooky, and creative. I'm asking for your assistance on how I can make this character a good addition to Lord of the Craft, RP-wise, and for entertainment purposes!

So far, this is what I have:

His name will be Keish'Pir. Keish is a frightening Dark Elf. Keish's large, yellow, orb-like eyes are watery and piercing. His facial expressions are twisted and contorted, due to countless years of being socially absent. His absence from humanity has left him utterly insane. He has split personalities; one being fearful and timid, and the other angry and evil. When he is in his fearful and timid form, he is not liable to harm any beings. When he is angry and evil, though, it is a completely different story.

He strangely has a mass number of words in his vocabulary, thanks to his two split personalities. They converse all the time.

Keish will live in a dark cave near a town in the upcoming 2.0 (I will have to buy the cave... donations will be appreciated!). In the sunny hours of the day, he will most likely sleep in his cave, and watch travellers through the cave's mouth. In the evening, Keish'Pir will travel into nearby towns and camps to search for small children or weak adults who are alone. He will attempt to knock them unconscious, and if he succeeds, Keish will drag them to his cave. He does not leave a scrap of meat behind on his prey, and saves their bones for weapons and tools.

I hope this is acceptable so far, please give me feedback and ideas on what to change/add/modify.

UPDATE: Lore! (not final)

Keish was small. Not like how a human is a few inches shorter than the population’s average size, no. Keish was tiny. His Morri'Quessir kin towered over him by at least two feet. At 15 years of age, he stood at about the size and stature of a Halfling. Keish was often the butt of jokes from his peers, but alas, Keish was a happy boy. He loved his family, his few friends, and for some odd reason, bones. When Keish would depart on hunting trips, which occurred often, Keish would collect unusual bones from his catches. His most prized bone was a large antler from a buck, which he fashioned into an efficient and deadly dagger. He brought this weapon on every hunting trip.

On one particular hunting journey, with all of his brothers (a total of four), Keish was able to discover a bear slumbering in a mountainside cave. It was hibernating, due to a long, bleak, and algid winter season. Keish and his brothers ventured cautiously into the cave, and slaughtered the beast. Oh, how they enjoyed the resources gained from this animal! Thick and warm fur used to make jackets and blankets. And do not forget the precious bear meat, which would provide many happy meals. Keish however, also collected the bear’s teeth. Their family back at home would be so proud of them completing this masculine feat!

To their dismay, however, the young men were not alone. The mountain on which this cave resided was home to many fearsome beasts. The animal hunting them was a vicious sabre-toothed tiger. The desirous smell of the bear’s meat was a lure to this strong feline monster. It snuck into the cave, quickly and quietly, and mauled one of Keish’s brothers. He died almost instantly, due to the animal’s piercing fangs stabbing his brain. The family, outraged, charged towards the monster. Keish was the furthest away from the animal, and was unsheathing his knife while all of this happened. Sadly, the sabre-tooth killed yet another one of his brothers. And another. And another. Keish was the only one left. As it charged towards him, Keish threw his knife straight towards the big cat. His aim was true, and his knife lodged square in between the beast’s eyes. It collapsed, and Keish’s emotions overtook him.

During this commotion, a blizzard was brewing outside. Leaving the cave would have definitely killed Keish, so he waited. It took weeks for the storm to subside, and in this mess, he had been snowed in. Snow covered the mouth of the cave completely. The only two factors that kept him alive were the shelter he had, and the deceased animals inside the cavern. Keish had been trapped inside for nearly two months. During this time, he pondered much. Would his family accept him if he came back, and none of his brothers did? No, he decided. Years were spent inside the cave; many, many years. Keish had not spoken to someone for 4 years, and at the point, he decided to befriend the only person he had. Himself. “Hello… My name is Keish’Pir.” said Keish in a soft tone. The voice replied in a harsh tone, “You are a blathering idiot. But, my name is Keish too.” This conversation went on and on until insanity had fully reaped and sown itself inside Keish’s mind. No chance of return, and no reason to try and return. The harsh voice had also managed to persuade him to desecrate and transform his small body. Bones from his prey were now embedded into his features. The most prominent additions were the sabre-tooth’s fangs. They now protruded from Keish’s forehead.

Ages later, mankind began to settle near his mountain from a distant land. They were in Keish’s territory. They were large in numbers. They could build quickly. They were strong. They multiplied like rabbits. But, that will not stop Keish. They MUST leave. “I will make them leave… no matter the cost.” says Keish. “Oh, and their young spawn taste so good."

Once again, this is NOT final. I will still have to apply as a villain and possibly change the lore to fit in with Aegis 2.0. Please bring to my attention any issues or things you liked about my character.

[Mucky 443]

two threads for the same thing???

[LaCabra (Soda) 1519]

I'm going to delete the one on the Orc Forums, so I can get more feedback. Sorry about that.

[Mucky 443]

Okay

[Supertimmy4ever 19]

this is a great idea, i realy like it. it should get a good rp experience for the town.

+1

(i realy have nothing else to say)

[LaCabra (Soda) 1519]

this is a great idea, i realy like it. it should get a good rp experience for the town.

+1

(i realy have nothing else to say)

Thanks! I'm researching split personalities and how they work right now, just to add more to the effect.

[Mucky 443]

Did you mean Golem from Lord of the rings, if so

Try not to copy him as it would seem really really un-original

Take bits but make it your own

[Mucky 443]

^ I read it through you did not mean him

But have a look at Golem from lord of the rings personality

And take bits as you please but make it your own

Golem has a interesting and scary personality

[LaCabra (Soda) 1519]

First, yes it's Gollum from Lord of the Rings.

Secondly, I'm not going to copy him completely. I'll take some essences of his character, as many people do this. I believe there is a guide in the forums that even talks about basing your character off of the actions of a popular character. Someone on that guide spoke about acting much like Captain Jack Sparrow, and how it has added to their roleplaying in a positive and exciting way.

I'm trying to take Gollum's creepiness (mainly his bodily features), but adding a primitive being in the place of his actions and character. Much like a cave-man. Thanks for this feedback though, it has gotten me thinking. :D

[LaCabra (Soda) 1519]

^ I read it through you did not mean him

But have a look at Golem from lord of the rings personality

And take bits as you please but make it your own

Golem has a interesting and scary personality

Actually, I'm thinking I will make his story much richer. A cave man would be extremely boring, so thank you for bringing this to my attention :D

[Mucky 443]

Also add Gollums speach

When he says for example

"It is okay, it okay"

he says it like this

"It iz ocayy, itz ocayy!"

Bad example but if you get what im saying it has a scarier tone to it

[LaCabra (Soda) 1519]

I understand completely! "myy preysciousz..."

EDIT: Well that was a complete fail. I've just found something I can work on until 2.0 :P

[Mucky 443]

:D

Glad I could Help :)

[Mucky 443]

Also Goblin's have a great liking to Shiny Objects

One object they will be addicted to... (( The ring for Gollum ))

When your Role playing with your Goblin, have him especially fond of this shiny Object, If your having a Villian Application for Him.

Which is suggested and needed for your character.

Have that as a craze and addiction that could make him weaker or stronger.

If you get what I mean.

I also suggest Villainage number 5 of craziness, and weirdness. Your goblin sounds like he would have that type of personality

[Lawrence Berell 226]

I consider myself an expert on psychosis'. PM me with your full ideass and I'll help you tweak them.