[Denied]Smbadat Aplication [Alt] Application #2

[smbadat 0]

Main Account Name: smbadat
Alternate Account Name:
How old are you?:13
Time-Zone:gmt +2
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?:yes
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?:skyrim, fable series

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: playing adventure games and taking on the role of certain characters
Meta-gaming: modding/cheating in order to play outside of the environment/laws of a game
Power-emoting: doing something which does not allow another player to have a say in it, therefore diobeying the laws of roleplaying

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Indurinl
Current Age:22
Race:Elf
Sub-race (if any): Wood
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):

I ran away from home a week before my village was attacked by orcs. i saw my parents killed and felt guilty so i ran off into the woods. i vowed that i would kill the orcs and all their associates. I was found by a human who took me in and educated me and taught me how to fight. being a wood elf i was never very comfartable inside a huge city and spent all my free time in the city gardens and woods. i befriended most of the animal kingdom by helping them with their struggles and in return they would help me whenever i called them. as the years passed I exelled both at school and combat training. one day while walking in the woods i spotted a lone orc and -remembering what his race had done to my village- killed him with no regret. when my master heard of this he praised me and told me he had only killed his first orc when he was 25 whereas i had done it when i was 19.

he then told me that it was time to let me go out into the world and follow my own ambitions. I then started fulfilling my vow, killing every orc i saw no matter how i was out numbered. i befriended many creatures of the night and like the animals they would aid me when i called. this is my history and when im done the orcs will regret attacking my village

Ambitions for the Future: to fulfil my oath and travel the world
Personality:kind, friendly, love nature, love company 
Skills: befriending animals, good sword fighter, very good archer, learns very fast
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): i could not upload cause the item is too big,... there is a picture in my former application
Any other details you wish to share about your character: 

[MonkeyCoffee 516]

Your application has been...

 

 

Hello. After reading through your application I've decided to deny it for the following reasons:

 

You have used the alternate account format. This format is used if you have already been accepted, but have another MC account that needs whitelisting. Use the format found here! http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/80614-official-application-format-application-rules/

 

Roleplaying and Meta-gaming definitions are incorrect. try to find something on the internet that may help, but remember, don't plagiarise, write in your own words.

 

Power-emoting definition needs expanding and add an example to it.

 

Parents being killed by Orcs is cliché and overused, try to think of something more creative.

 

The beginning of your biography makes no sense. You ran away a week before he Orcs came, but you somehow saw your parents die. How can your character know that the Orcs would come, and how could he see his parents die if he ran away?

 

You cannot befriend the "animal kingdom" and make them do things for you.

 

A 19 year old Wood Elf cannot kill an Orc, they would surely lose, plus you also need a Villain Application for this.

 

And lastly, you also didn't include a skin.

 

 

 

Please re-apply in 24 hours from this post or face instant denial. If you have any questions, pop me a PM.

[MonkeyCoffee 516]

Moved to Denied Forum