[Denied]My Application

[zachzilla1211 0]

[b]Out-Of-Character Information[/b]
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name:Zachzilla1211
How old are you?:13
Time-Zone:Central
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?:Yes I have
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?:Not much but I role-played with people on a hack/mine server.
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?:Petridagamernerd
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/86559-deniedmy-application/#entry755438
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above): http://www.minecraftforum.net/user/1660015-zachzila1211/
Have you read the Human lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?:Yes I will

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: Playing as a character you created with his/her own history and to play as if you where them and acting by what you have put in their history. Such as a orc who is a merchant that was orphaned when he was 6.
Meta-gaming: It's when someone uses information they got out-of-character while in-game. Seeing on a post a group plans to attack a fort and someone warns the fort about the attack.
Power-emoting:
It's when someone will emote something that prevents someone from reacting to that emote. Such as a elf shooting his bow at a dwarf and killing him instantly with out the dwarf knowing.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name:Hubrik
Current Age:37
Sub-race (if any):Northerner
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long): Before he was born his parents went to Asulon. He lived in his parents inn most of his childhood. Many adventurers came to the inn and he loved their stories. He loved to see scholars and read their books. He had no friends and hayed going outside. He would read books and write stories for young visitors. He would play the lute for all of the quests. His father died when he became 60. His mother went into a deep depression and he had to run the inn. Most of the visitors came for a hour and got drunk. Seven years passed and he had many offers to sell the inn. His mother died so he had to sell the inn.

     He bought a house in Nuremburg with the money he got from selling the inn and became a tailor. He stayed in business for six years. He went to Solace to get a better education. Five years had passed and he had traveled all over Asulon. After joining a caravan he sold his shop. Never had he lived so horribly before he joined the caravan. He ate stew made from milk and fish, it was horrible. He slept on his horses back. His caravan was attacked by bandits and they stole almost all his money. They had starved him and imprisoned him a two months. He escaped by stealing a bandits sword. He went to the cloud temple to become a healer. Using his tailoring skills he made a purple and green surcoat and bought armor. When he came to Anthos he went to the cloud temple to start his adventure.
Ambitions for the Future: Improving his swordsmanship skills and archery.[/b]
Personality: Always willing to do anything to get the job done and is very fierce and passionate about his beliefs.[/b]
Skills: Healing, Swordsmanship, Tailoring[/b]
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin):http://theamethystking.tumblr.com/image/47830025064 He is bald, has blue eyes, pale skin and never take off his helmet because he worries about his skin.[/b]
Any other details you wish to share about your character:No[/b]

[b]Open-Response-Questions[/b]
[i]Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.[/i]
____

[b]1. Whilst in the mighty human capital you notice a dark-clothed figure stealthily making his way towards the Emperor’s palace - he is clearly up to no good. There are guards within shouting distance - what do you do?[/b]

Answer: Slowly pick up my speed and walk in his direction. I start to jog and fix my gaze on him. I start sprinting towards him with great hubris and draw my sword." Guards there is an assassin in the keep!" I yell for all to hear. The guards deftly draw their swords and surround him. " Who are you?!" I demand from the figure. There is nothing but piercing silence. " Answer!" Nothing. " Emperor what should we do?" Asks a guard with a disgusted look. " Take him to the dungeon for questioning. And for you knight. You have done me a great service. One of my guards will reward you." He says as I smile from within my helmet. I get my pay immediately and leave.


[b]2. Whilst wandering in the deep oak forest you come across a large clearing, in which sits a small cobbled cottage. Outside it stands an unstable old man armed with a small iron blade, surrounded by two heavily armed bandits - they appear to be threatening him. You are armed with leather armour and an iron longsword, how do you react?[/b]

Answer: I stay quite not to be notice by the bandits. I pull my sword and slit ones throat. " What the?" The remaining bandit says. He realizes what happened and became furious. " I'm going to kill you!" He yells as he charges at me. I skillfully roll out of the way and ready my sword. The bandit is strong but dumb, so I would have to out smart him. He lunges forward and I duck and stab him in the gut but are met with cold iron. He kicks me back and readies himself for another swing. I step out of the way and slash his knee. As he falls I swiftly stab him in a gap in his armor killing him. " Sir." I say as I look for the old man. I find him doubled over shielding his face. " It's ok." I say trying to calm the man. " I won't hurt you." The man looks up with shock. " D . . . Did you kill them?" He says shaking uncontrollably. " Yes but don't tell anyone ok." You quietly nods. I grab the bodies and drag the into the bushes. Thinking if I should have killed them.

 

 
[b]3. You are standing within the mighty human capital when you notice a small man standing behind a colourful stall. You approach the stall and notice that the man is selling a variety of general goods - he says that he is selling just about anything and that he has no set prices. He is willing to allow you to haggle and choose prices. What do you do? (Explain: your haggling, items of choice and the discussion that happens).[/b]

Answer: "Hello sir, what do you have to sell." I say with enthusiasm " Everything on display." He says with a pleasant smile "I would like some purple dye for say, four Minas." I say waiting for my offer to sink in. I watch as he thinks about what he will counter with. " Five Minas?" "No, only four it's just dye. I need it too keep my coat it's colour." He sighs looking defeated. " Fine, here's your dye." He says with a sour expression as we exchange the money and dye. " Thank you, sir." I say while pushing the dye in my back and walk off.

[Ford 1996]

 

-Everything looks good, but unfortunately your biography is vague. Where was this inn located near? What nation did he live close to? What were his parent's names and where did he learn how to suddenly fight and kill? You also skip from "He escaped by stealing a bandit's sword" to "He was a healer at the Cloud Temple." The order of how your character progressed is quite random and could be explained using more detail(another paragraph or two). There's a lot of material missing within your biography and I feel as if you could clarify how your character really procured all these useful abilities.  Develop your character's personality a bit more through the biography, too.

 

You've failed to make the necessary changes within the time limit. You may re-apply after 24 hours, but still take a look at what I've told you to do so that you can fix your next application up. If you have any questions to ask, just send me a PM and I'll answer them,

[Ford 1996]

Moved to Denied Forum