A Bloodied Lion

[ĔṀĔŔĨĨČĶ 519]

 

 

 

Kaelys looked around his room, sighing. He had woken up in the temple once again, this time with a scar on his back. Someone must have literally stabbed him in the back this time he thought. He couldn't hold it in anymore. He was at his limit and breaking point.

 

He grabbed a pen and quill and began to write what was on his mind.

 

 

 

 

My earliest memory was of my cousin Horen paying me a visit in Kingston. This was the first time I ever saw him and before I understood the situation me and my sister were in. I watched him enter from the balcony of the second floor and when he by chance looked up and our eyes met I saw the same look everyone seemed to give me. Normally however it is just that, a look, and If I stayed away from them I would be alright.

 

But I was wrong, and was attacked. At four I could not grasp or understand why. I understood the basic Idea of family at the time, and I understood I had a large one who happened to be important. But I never really got the feeling of family from the others. Though of course my father and mother loved me, or so it seemed like to me, and I was able to get by with that much.

 

As time wen't on I began to learn. I started to understand. They hated me because I was born something that I couldn't grasp and still can't even now. I didn't do anything to earn the hate or do anything wrong. I began to resent them. I slowly began to hate them. And while I did this I watched my sister start to hate as well. She began to hate herself, and acted as if she deserved to be put down.

 

No. We did nothing wrong, how can being born be a sin? As she bent over and allowed them to spit on her and insult her; I resolved to to otherwise. If they wanted to hate me then I would give them a reason I told myself. So I did, I began to act out in every way I could think of. 

 

And just like I thought they reacted, they talked down on me and got angry. But I kept fighting back and acting out. My own little act of rebellion and I felt good doing it. I didn't need them I told myself, I had my close family and didn't need them. But after awhile even my parents started to resent me and eventually my sister.

 

I was sent off at 11 to train with the chapter of the Lion. At 13 I was dis-owned by my father. At this time my mother was long gone, driven out by the hatred of all the others. Despite being left in the streets to die alone by my father I resolved to live. I walked from Kingston to the crossings then headed south. I looked for the Adunians, I remember hearing of them and thought they may accept me. 

 

I was right, they took me in for several years and kept me safe. They were my family for a time and didn't hate me because of what I was. And so I grew outside of Oren, I aged. I visited my sister time from time but she often showed the same hatred for me that my father did. At times she even called me a halfbreed, a bastard, a disowned darkspawn. Yet despite the pain I pushed on. 

 

I always found a way to push on. And for a few years I was happy or at least I was as close to being happy as I could get. But I wanted more and as I started to reach adulthood I traveled back to my home and tried to redeem myself. Redemption did not come easy, but I did manage to get a few to look at my in a different light. 

 

Though it wasn't enough for him, it was never enough for him. My father could never be pleased with me and hated me with such force I couldn't understand. I was free under Royal law but still wanted under Imperial law, it made surviving in Salvus hard but possible. And I continued to do so for some time. 

 

I even began to fix things with my sister and at the time I thought I could fix everything. 

 

How naive I was, how childish I was despite being an adult.  It wasn't long before I was turned on by almost everyone I knew in one way or the other. One of the first was someone I thought of as a Big Sister. Sha, though many disliked her, I still remember the days when I was a child and she took me around salvus and oren showing me around. 

 

With my mother gone, she was a motherly figure to me. And as I grew older I wished to return the kindness she showed me. Though... I admit I may have gone about it the wrong way.  I brought ruin on myself and soon I turned her against me without thinking. Even now she could stab me in the back without even flinching or feeling anything but I could not do the same.

 

Soon I had to leave salvus once again, Martial Law had made it far too dangerous. Yes, it was martial law that was the turning point. I had been fighting with my sister a lot at that time, but nothing I thought would cause her to turn on me. But she did. She led me into a trap with a knight of Oren and nearly killed me. The look I saw in her eyes were the same I saw in Horen's that day. That damned look of hate. 

 

I do not consider myself a good person or a saint, I am aware I have committed many wrongs. And because of this and my sharp tongue I turned everyone against me. The Adunians, Even the Delvers who took me in.

 

I understand it is my fault, but I still question it. How people could so easily turn on another is what I do not understand. As a child I told myself all people were liars and traitors, and it isn't until now I understand that fully.

 

Yes perhaps it is my fault. But what can I be expected to do? I had to fight on and I had to keep moving forward. If I stopped I was afraid I would lose myself. 

 

Yet all men have limits and I have reached mine. I have been pushed into a corner and have held in these feelings for far too long.  Those I once called friend now seek me dead. Those I once trusted used that to stab me in the back. Those I once loved threw me behind to save themselves. 

 

And now I must stop. Every time I wake up in the cloud temple I feel as if I've lost a part of myself. And I think I've lost too much of myself now. Yes, maybe it is time to stop fighting. Time to let go.

 

At least for now...

 

 

 

After he finishes, set the pen down and sighs once more. Without a word he began to make his way out of the Red Lion's stronghold and walked out of the gates of Vaerhaven. He made his way through the snowy south, heading as far south and deep in the mountains as he could manage. 

 

 

[MamaBearJade 2090]

Seraphine notices the stronghold is strangely empty. She shivers and moves to Kaelys's room. "Kaelys?" she asks, unable to see where he was. "Kaelys!" Her voice rings in the stronghold, fear and loneliness begins to take hold of her as she stumbles in the darkness to find the one person she has connected with. Her blind eyes unseeing as she stumbles down the stairs out of vaerhaven. "KAELYS!" she cries again as she collapses into the snow. She shivers and pulls herself into a familiar cave. "Mah...." she whimpers before closing her eyes and curling up.

((If this is truly a perma-kill post then I have no reason to keep Seraphine as she was made to try and relieve the stress from Emeriick. I will decide on what to do with Kaila later.))