Gomoore

Gharak went straight for her study when she got home; she had bought this newspaper on a trip through elven lands, and on the way back she was so excited that she couldn't think about anything else. "Now, letz peep diz new newzpaper! Peepz like eht haz bub' kontent." she groaned in satisfaction when she sat at her messy table, and started reading. "Hozh Hozh..." she laid back after a bit. "Dey zhud zort dehr topikz ah'but mohr, nub zhure iv eht all nehdud tu ahm in'ere." she said, but she grinned nonetheless. "More newzpappur iz alweyz guud newz."

Gharak had started to move books from the library when the missive was brought to her. She placed sorted two more books into a large crate before sitting to read it at the nearby table. "Yub, realli peepz like dah Horde ahm breethin azhze moar." she nodded with a grin. "Mi hopez bruddahz will kome bakk, zho miz kan realli kall buurz tikz over."

Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty (X) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’ (CLV) D.A. ORC POLITICS A Great Party in Krugmar! After last cactus week’s Klamor, as nobody claimed Rex Grubnakh’Lak’s seat as their own, the new Ologarchy of the Iron Horde seems to be firmly in place. The Vassals have accepted the new leadership, and orcish delegations went to lesser cities to demand tribute, which they have received after threatening them of War. Mog’Mog, an Olog and long-time scribe for Grubnakh’Lak, has initiated diplomatic relations with Urguan. He invited the leader of the dwarves of Urguan, Grand King Garedyn, on The Deep Cold [tuesday] to discuss an alliance with the Iron Horde. The dwarven king came with gifts of metal to Mog’Mog, and after a short conversation, they agreed to have at least a defensive alliance. Mog’Mog, however, advocated for a “Full Military Alliance” which he says Rex Grubnakh calls for, in order to “make a statement of true unity between Urguan and the Iron Horde”. To those unfamiliar with ologs, it should be pointed out again that this behavior is not normal. Grubnakh and Mog are, as far as our records go, the first and only ologs to seemingly easily read, write, and even carry out strategic operations. This Iron Alliance —between Urguan and the Iron Horde— also raises the question of Urguan’s diplomatic relations, as they are already allied with Haense and Hyspia, and have a non-aggression pact with Nor’Asath. Though Mog’Mog admitted that not much could be done against the Iron Horde’s bloodlustful nature, he has accepted that further discussion be held regarding the raids which often target those nations. Because “military alliances need to be approved by the moot” under dwarven laws, Grand King Garedyn has vowed to “hold a meeting to discuss the full alliance” with the King’s Court on the Grand Harvest [sunday]. At the time of publication, this should be next cactus day. To ensure good diplomatic relations between orcs and dwarves, Mog’Mog has offered the following; to organize a big party in San’Brîu, right before the King’s Court. And so the preparations began, and all of Urguan, as well as anyone who wishes to see how Orcs party are invited! There will be lots of “beer, yes, and the strong stuff!” Mog’Mog proudly announced. One should also expect cactus green and all the fine drugs that Krugmar produces! FOREIGN AFFAIRS A New Pontiff for the Canonist Church The Pontiff Sixtus the fifth passed away about two cactus months ago, and the Canonist Church has had no replacement so far. But after careful deliberation, it seems the College of Cardinals —those who elect the Pontiff— have come to a decision and elected one of them, Father Arnaud as their new Pontiff. And so, Father Arnaud, born Arnaud Constantine Novellen, who is currently Archbishop of Albarosa, will soon be Pontiff, with a new name which currently remains undisclosed. The pontifical Coronation will be held this cactus day [Friday 17 Nov.] in the Temple of the Exalted Prophets of the Canon in Aaun. Father Arnaud has been kind enough to take the time to answer a few questions for the Kaktuz Weekli. Could you describe to our readers what the role of the Pontiff is? What duties do you have towards Canonists, and non-Canonists? “The Pontiff, —also known as High Pontiff— is the leader of our religion. You could say I will be the leader of our organization of priests. But the Pontiff is also the Vicar of God. It means I will represent God once I am officiated in my role.” — “To canonists it is essentially the personification of our faith and religion, and to non-canonists…” he paused. “I suppose one could say my duty is to try to convert them… or otherwise guide them morally.” What are your aspirations as the soon-to-be Pontiff? Do you wish to reform the Canonist Church, and in which ways? “I hope to be a unifying figure for the various canonist realms, as they has been trouble brewing and not every nation has been particularly happy with the Church’s diplomacy in recent years. I also wish to finish some of the projects that my predecessor started, like reforming our religious laws and the way the Church is run.” “I also wish to start great construction works to relocate the Holy See” —the capital of Canonism— “Currently, it is inadequate; it is small, not very providing… Founding a church state is not out of the question either.” What are your thoughts on Pontiff Sixtus V’s legacy? As you certainly know, he had vowed to improve the clergy’s teachings, and to spread the Canonist faith. And for a more personal question, what would you say are your dreams? “I believe that my predecessor, Sixtus the fifth, was a good Pontiff for the time he was around. Sadly, due to health issues, he was absent for most of his pontificate. But I share one of those dreams with him: I want to strengthen people’s faith.” “As a priest, people currently call me Father, and as High Pontiff I will be the Father of all of the Canonist world. As a father I will be kind and compassionate with my children, because I want to see them grow. But to help his children grow a father must also be strict sometimes. I’ve decided I am sick of part time believers, the kind that are devoted when they are in a church or with a priest, but who turn their back on God and do bad things when they think God can’t see them.” After a moment, he concluded; “My dream is to bring canonists from all nations together as one big family and to reinvigorate our church. For too long we have been stagnant, absent, withdrawn from the world and uninspiring. I want to be a Pontiff of action. I think a lot of our more devoted followers are quite ready for some action.” ORCISH CULTURE Greater Spirits: Meet Freygoth! Orcs are Spiritualists; this means we worship the spirits which inhabit, or represent various aspects of the material plane. An orc who has displayed exceptional virtue, or quality and dedication to an art can also become a spirit. Those ancestors who keep inspiring us become ancestral spirits and receive worship from those who wish to pursue their art. The spirits are of various types; those who represent elements are known as Greater Elemental Spirits, those who ascended —as described above— are Ancestral Spirits. Then, Greater and Lesser Immortal Spirits govern concepts or emotions. Today, we will focus on one of the Greater Immortal Spirits: Freygoth! Freygoth is the spirit of the Wild, Nature and Animals. She is often depicted as a caring nature with a motherly face. She is a Greater Immortal— meaning she has Lesser Immortals who serve her, much like Vassals to a Nation. Laklul, the spirit of swamps, is certainly the most widely known Lesser Immortal under Freygoth. However, worshippers of Laklul often despise Freygoth; they say that Laklul should be a Greater Immortal, and that Freygoth holds Laklul prisoner in the Lesser status. Worshippers of Freygoth value life and nature; unlike many spirits, sacrifices to Freygoth would certainly yield nothing but her rage. A more sensible approach is to dedicate ponds or parks to her name, restore or foster nature around her shrines, and, generally, caring for creatures around oneself.

The following invitation has been nailed on the notice board at the entrance of San’Brîu. Sisters and brothers, children of Krug, servants of the spirits, With Grubnakh’Lak’s Rexhood, I have seen many of us rejoice, certain that the Iron Horde has once more fully embraced our traditions. I too welcome them back; the pursuit of honor and strength through glorious Klomps and Wagh warms my heart and Krug’s blood which runs through it. A depiction of orcs klomping in the San’Brîu tavern klomp-pit Yet I warn you that re-establishing the old laws of might —on its own— does very little to honor our ancestors. This simple accumulation of strength and feats of domination is nothing but misplaced pride if it remains ignorant of the guidance of the spirits. As Glurgz wrote, “klomping iz nub alwayz da way fir honur”. Rather, he explains, “Honur iz in da zpiritz”. Why am I bringing this up— you may ask. I found that in the name of the coming wars, a shrine to Drelthok has been desecrated and removed in their very own home, the silent district. This may have been fueled by a burst of bloodlust, or by ignorance of the balance which the shamans maintain between our patron spirits. Either way, it strips San’Brîu of yet another one of the already rare signs of the spiritualist faith we so eagerly claim to be ours. The desecrated Drelthok shrine — and a message left behind: “Da tik tu sleep am ovur! It am Wagh tik!” I will not follow the culprit in their mindless mistake; I do not wish to call wagh on my kind. Rather, I call for a resurrection. Where have our prayers, respectful offerings and zealous habits gone? How long has it been since you last sensed the sweet smell of corpses rotting on a Votar shrine, how long since you last saw incense rise from the altars of Firaza to dance in the wind? In the coming cactus days, I call for us to unite and reaffirm our trust in the guidance of the spirits, and show once more our unyielding devotion to them. Will you join me? Gharak’Yar, Skriptgoth of the Horde [OOC] Mini RP-Player Events

Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue H’Futh (IX) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’Futh (CLIV) D.A. INVESTIGATION: DESERT SHENANIGANS Meeting a new Civilisation Near the orcish lands of Krugmar, explorers from the horde have made a surprising discovery; an unmet civilization was hiding in the sands. Obok Metaldrinks, who has been part of most exploration parties, and dealing with these people for some time, arranged an opportunity for me to meet and discuss with them. And so I was led into a network of caves under a mountain, and there I was warmly greeted by the warriors of Hakesh and the Aeternum Automatons. Indeed, the civilization is of two races; the Hakeshites are human descendents while the automatons are centuries-old mechanical constructs. The Hakeshites came from the same lands as us, but after the various migrations, they found themselves separated from the bulk. From what I could recollect from the warden Ilakeer, they discovered Aevos shortly after leaving Arcas. For those unfamiliar with our history, we —the descendants— have gone through several great migrations due to cataclysmic events; the latest one had us flee from Almaris to Aevos after an invasion. But before settling on Almaris, our elders lived on Arcas. The migration from Arcas marked the beginning of the Second Age. As I discussed with the Elder Automaton, I was told they were created by an Elven inventor. They had, at first, nothing to do with the Hakeshite humans, only they joined these people to help them: for this is what the automatons have been designed to do. And so their cohabitation began, though it quickly devolved into an aggressive one. Cultural misunderstandings, unprompted and excessive help from the automatons and diverging positions among the Hakeshites created divides so harsh they led to massacres and the Elven Creator's death, after which many humans and automatons left to settle elsewhere.massacres Though they had lost nearly half their population, the remaining Hakeshites found this satisfactory —at first. Soon enough they would learn of what the others had been up to: in their attempt to create more automatons they had tainted their hands with the darkest magics, trying to brew up life to serve them, capturing and enslaving souls. The automatons who had accompanied the sinful humans would later be known as the Kinslayers, for obvious reasons. When they met with the Aeternum Automatons, they only saw them as an opportunity to gather more slaves; and terrible fights ensued. Although most of their forces have been dealt with, 3-CK —another lovely automaton— told me some Kinslayers remain, and they roam the nearby seas with a fleet of armed ships. Any help to defeat them would be greatly appreciated. If you wish to learn more, I can only recommend you meet them too. Soon, books will be published, retelling their long and windy history. [contact Daengie for more] ORC POLITICS An Olog becomes Rex Continuing on last cactus week's events, where concerns about the respect of our traditions, harsh treatment towards vassals, and distrust in the Rex Kybal'Akaal and his clan caused instability and threats of rebellion in Krugmar. Somehow, it seems bloodshed was avoided. The then-Rex Kybal'Akaal addressed the Iron Horde on the 7th of the first seed. He accused the rebels of being a foreign force, orcish only by their representatives. He also reminded his people that he had not refused anyone a duel, but rather simply followed the laws implemented by his predecessor Al-Borok'Akaal. Still, Kybal acknowledged the power stacked against him; deeming that the rebels would be out to assassinate him if he were to participate in —and win— a duel, he decided to exile himself from orcish lands. In his final statement, he appointed Grubnakh'Lak as new Rex of the Iron Horde. Rex Grubnakh'Lak immediately took the position, and vowed to forge a renewed great era of war. He started with an open hand for reconciliation and unity; washed all who had served the previous Rex of grudge, and called for vassals to reaffirm their allegiance to the Horde. It should be noted that this is an exceptional event, for Rex Grubnakh is an olog. Ologs —for unfamiliar readers— are one of the tree subraces of Orcs; goblins, uruks, and ologs. They are taller, stronger, and dumber than uruks, even more so for goblins. Though they are not explicitly deprived of their right to claim the Rex position, their limited, often child-like intellect and associated absence of ability —or will— to govern has kept them away from leading Krugmar up until now. Zkorkon'Ugluk seemed satisfied with the turn of events. "He will make a good Rex" he said, and though he might challenge him later, for now "it is far more interesting to lay witness [to the start of] the Ologarchy". This position seems to reflect a large part of the Horde, which welcomed change with open hands. Surely we will learn more at the next Klamor. It will be held cactomorrow. ORCISH CULTURE Cooking: Skalezid Krispy Kookiez Oh, how refined the Orcs are! One might not know how diverse their cooking is, and what great tasteful dishes they can make from the gifts of the desert. But this shall change today. See for yourself! Today's recipe: Scalecid Crispy Cookies! Ingredients: 1 scalecid, preferably young and freshly harvested 6 eggs (optional) Preparation: Prepare a cauldron and put some water to boil. Skin the scalecid and keep the meat separately. Chop the hide and bones into pieces. This process can be tedious, especially if the scalecid is not fresh or too mature. If that is the case, you can use a mortar and sledgehammer to grind the thick hide down to pieces. Once the bone hide is reduced to the size of pebbles, chuck it in the water, and place a lid on the cauldron. While the scalecid bones soften, tenderize the meat down to a paste. You may add eggs at this step; if you chose to do so, wash the egg shells and add them to the boiling pot. Form cookie shapes from this meat dough. The cookies can be left to dry, or —if you are trying the eggless recipe— slightly grilled in an oven. After a day, you will have a broth with delicious scalecid chips. Sift them out, and sprinkle them on the cookies. That's it! You can now enjoy delicious scalecid crispy cookies! It has come to my attention that in last issue, Rex Grubnakh was described as part of plan Ugluk. My apologies for this mistake; Rex Grubnakh is part of clan Lak. For any requests, remarks or information, please contact Gharak'Yar or leave a letter at the Kaktuz Weekli offices at the Library of Barbog, San’Brîu Krugmar. Yours ,Gharak

Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! The return of… Issue H’Gahk (VIII) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’Gakh (CLIII) D.A. ORC POLITICS Rebellion against Clan Akaal Krugmar has recently been torn by a political and military crisis, the outcome of which remains uncertain as part of the population formed rebellious forces which threaten to lead a coup. Let’s look at the events that lead to this turmoil. There has been social unrest in Krugmar for a while; several cactus weeks at least, if there was ever a time of complete stability. Scattered voices have expressed concerns about the orcish society drifting away from its core culture, away from the path of Spirit and Krug’s ways. It is undeniable; Krugmar has opened to other cultures, and adopted some codes. One such example is the ashtkaar system implemented in Klamors, where clan leaders and members of the government hold a vote for important decisions. As a response to this ever growing feeling of disconnect with Krug’s values, some have attempted to restore a form of orcish purity and tradition. Two cactus weeks ago, Grimruk’Lur, claimed the position of Krimpgoth through a glorious duel. This position allowed him to revoke the honorary title awarded to non-orcs who embrace our ways. All honoraries were stripped of their title —except for a select few— and required, if they wished to regain it, to go through the honorary trials once more. This has unsurprisingly triggered a wave of anger from many previously-honoraries, in particular from the Bronze Band: a clan of elven honoraries, vassal under Krugmar. Distrust against the ruling orcs grew with several accusations against Clan Akaal. Drus, a former member of the Akaal Clan, has denounced shamanistic and spiritual practices within the clan which some believe to be buurz; that is to say sinful and breaching of strong orcish taboos. Though members of the Akaal Clan have either denied practice of these rituals —An old rex could have said, “LIES AND SLANDER”—, or dismissed accusations as misunderstandings of legitimate traditions, there is no denying that this has further divided the orcish community. The last nail to the coffin was probably the aforementioned ruling on Ashktaar— which now states that one may not klomp (fight) for the title of Rex unless half of the clan leaders deem the pretending orc worthy to inherit the title. While democratic systems are not incompatible with traditional Orcish ways, the Klomp for Rex has always been seen as a fundamental guardrail to ensure no tyrant hoards power, and the old orcish proverb “Might Makes Right” still resonates with many. To address these, a Klamor —deliberative congress— was held last cactus week, but it failed to appease tensions, and has in fact exacerbated divisions. Two people demanded to klomp the Rex Kybal’Akaal for his title; Bullgoth Skorkon’Ugluk (previously known as the Brazen Bull) and Grubnakh, an olog also from clan Ugluk. The clan leaders voted, as is the law, and the two were denied their duels. This sparked a fight, which degenerated into an attempted coup. It is unclear whether it was premeditated, as it might have spontaneously erupted, but it failed either way, only resulting in a minor fight. The Rebelling forces quickly escaped, and are yet to make another move. The Rebels are roughly composed of an alliance of Clan Ugluk, led by Skorkon and Grubnakh, the Bronze Band, various human and previously-honorary vassals of the horde, as well as some individual Orcs who took it as an opportunity to rid Krugmar of the corruption they see in Clan Akaal. Ironically, Grimruk’Lur is one of them, and is now siding with humans and elves which he declared lessers mere cactus weeks ago. However, he has not been secretive about his plans to leave this alliance as soon as it does not serve his agenda. FOREIGN AFFAIRS A Cure for Degeneracy? Tensions rose recently around bathhouses. Although these traditional establishments have been central to many cultures, there seems to have been numerous cases of misconduct within them. This behavior has been denounced in a statement by orkish chieftain Grimruk’Lur, who has declared war on what he calls degeneracy; bathhouse parties where “acts that should not be spoken of” are allegedly encouraged. The Canonist Church has also been said to denounce the impure nature of bathhouses that teem with scandalous incentives, though after discussing with a paladin, I could not find evidence of such a stance. Either way, there seems to be an outrage towards these establishments; “Anything bathhouse related, I’m going to make sure it caves in!” I was told in another conversation. In an attempt to maintain hygiene while satisfying everyone, King Cyris has proposed a great innovation; the construction of a water park by the beaches of the halfling city of Dunfarthing. The King has big plans; “It’s gonna have slides, a pool, a lazy river, turtles — Giant turtles!” he said, before adding that the park will also feature a “helter skelter”: a tower supporting a spiralling water slide. Though there is currently no fixed date for the grand opening —it is still in design phase—, the king of the Halflings has promised that the park will be a place “for everyone to enjoy water-filled fun […] so long as they do not cause trouble or worship Iblees or, even worse, Arugula.” He also vowed to make the water park completely free; “charging for entry would be choosing to make people smell!” he simply explained. ON THE KAKTUZ WEEKLI Returning with a New Journalist Ug dere! I am Gharak’Yar, a scholar in orcish social studies and philosophy, and disciple of Kor’Garr! With the founder of the Kaktuz Weekli retiring, I have been honoured to inherit this treasure of orcish culture, and I hope I will live up to the expectations of its readers! And so after several cactus months of absence, the cactus weekly returns! I hope to pursue Kor’Garr’s goals of bringing clear, diverse and fresh information to the public of Krugmar and the whole continent of Aevos! I hope to publish The Kaktuz Weekli… every cactus week, so keep your eyes peeled! Though they will not be featured every week, I also plan on bringing back all your favourite sections; Orcish Culture, Cooking, Orc of the week, and more! Next week: an in-depth investigation on Desert Shenanigans. Feel free to send me a bird to request investigation on specific topics! You can also leave a letter in the Kaktuz Weekli Headquarters in the Library of Barbog, San’Brîu, Krugmar. Ideas and help are always welcome and appreciated! Peep latz! –Gharak

Gharak'Yar read the newspaper as soon as she received it. She couldn't supress her smile while reading through Drekur's interview. "Heh, hi kan be hozh zometikz…"

Gharak knew, for she had been at the great Maw to witness the sacrifice. Still, she was impatient for the missive, and read it as soon as she received it. "Azh lazt attak…" she thought to herself, biting her lower lip. "Ah wonder if it waz a miztake, or mabi dey got miz name wrong tu protekt mi?" she mumbled while carefully folding back the missive.

On the Role of Blah in Orc Society A study by Gharak, for San'Velku Library of Theruz, year 115 of the Second Age A work based on books studied in the libraries of Minitz and Lurin This is a translation of the book bearing the same name, and will also serve as an OOC-saved version of the book. Still, I strongly advise you try and read the book ingame and, if you dare, in Blah. Contents: Introduction I] On Language II] To Speak Blah III] Social Tribes Conclusions

How Culture Shapes Orc Spiritualism A study by Gharak, for San'Velku Library of Theruz, year 114 of the Second Age With special thanks to Kor'Garr, Toad'Yar, Madoc'Lur and Ghoraza This is a translation of the book bearing the same name, and will also serve as an OOC-saved version of the book. Still, I strongly advise you try and read the version in Blah. Table of Contents: Introduction I] Culture & Nature II] On the clans Conclusion