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Gomoore

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    Gharak’Yar
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    Orc (F)

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  1. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! The return of Issue Azhty’H’Futh (XIX) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’H’Futh (CLIX) D.A. ORC POLITICS A Vampire in Orcgrimmar Many orcish readers might know Bug, the pale-green uruk. I myself have known him for a few years, and he has been, to me, like any other bruddah. However, recent Spook-testing by our Krimpgoth Gnarla’Vukh revealed that he was infected by the vampiric curse. He unfortunately resisted his arrest, wounding many orcs. For the safety of all those present, he was therefore killed. However, it seems that monks came by, and brought Bug back to life. Indeed, Elena of Joma, a friend and Paladin, told me that she found Bug “lying on the ground, covered in gore” in Lurin, “paralyzed from the neck down”; likely the result of a fight. Then, he accepted to be cured —though, admittedly, he did not have much of a choice. “He said he had been infected for… about 4 or 5 cactus weeks, so it was within the 12 year period one has before it’s too late to be cured.” she explained. “Descendants turn into vampires by consuming a vampire’s blood.” — “I’ve known some to have been forced to do so,” and according to her, in some cases, “the social stigma of being cursed and the difficulty in seeking help” can make it complicated to get cured. Some can be “under the eyes of a whole coven of vampires, and feel that their safety is threatened should they seek treatment.” Gnarla told me that Bug seemed genuinely confused, and distressed by the whole situation. She held similar assumptions, deeming that he was probably forced into his situation. Though I have not been able to get in touch with Bug to hear his version of the story, it therefore seems that he had no choice in this, and is not buurz himself. Regarding the prevention of future cases, Elena advised: “the main way to test if someone is a vampire is through testing their freshly cut wounds with salt. If it boils, then they’re a vampire.” — “Fangs and claws can be unseen, so they are no good way of finding out.” — “Refrain from travelling alone, as they often attack solitary wanderers… and if you suspect someone to be a vampire, do never confront them alone!” she insisted. FOREIGN AFFAIRS Wagh upon the Sand-Elves I should begin this article by stating that my heart is weighed in the following matters. Our elder Madoc’Lur is a friend to me, and I am a part of the Shaman Lodge; though not once has it bothered me in my duties as Shaman, Skriptgoth, Yargoth, or writer of the Kaktuz Weekli. Yet, I seek to uncover and speak the truth; may each of my words be a praise to Theruz. —Gharak'Yar One might say the conflict between orcs and Atemu-ta's kin dates back to the times of Rex Kybal’Akaal, over 4 cactus months ago. The lads, as they were known, lived in Krugmar, and were taught shamanic ways after becoming honorary orcs. Atemu-Ta, who recently spread extensive propaganda across the continent, claims he was mistreated back then. This could be true. Perhaps, he was treated like an orc, and strength was expected of him where he did not have it. An orc facing injustice doesn’t merely write, or speak of it; he fights, and removes it. Atemu-Ta, being incapable or perhaps refusing such boldness, proved to not be an orc. And so, he was no longer called an orc. He saw this as another injustice. Yet again, he refused to fight it; he did not defend his views, refused challenges and klomps, calling upon his own moral values. To refuse orcish ways in orcish land is to set oneself up for a beating. His sister, trying to protect him, entered a klomp he was losing to honour his principles. She was killed. To interrupt a klomp is to deny both fighters their honour. Destroyed by this, he left Krugmar. Orcs do not mind that elves be elves in elven lands. Atemu-Ta was clearly not an orc, and trying to join a Horde made for orcs was his mistake. Rex Grommash, who now rules upon the Hordelands, pardoned the enemies of the Horde upon accessing the throne. Yet, Atemu-Ta and his Rah’Mun people did not cut all his ties with orcs. Their shamans kept worshipping our spirits. I have witnessed their undoubtedly elvish ways in this art, when I tried to give his people a fair chance. I too, of course, felt sorry for the mourning pharaoh. Yet in their shrines I found our spirits twisted with untrue, elvish names. Old Blah, the language of the spirits, must only be used to speak truth; to speak wrong names is a travesty, a betrayal. It is the precise reason why this tongue is so closely guarded. But they did not only insult the spirits in their own land. They built a shrine on land which, as decided in the previous Southern Summit, belonged to the Qualasheen. This triggered a holy war. Motsham Madoc’Lur has been working on gathering the shamans to guard them from falling into the arms of buurz like they have in the past. Is it unfair to ask that shamans, keepers of our ways, hold an eye on each other? That they make sure none stray away? Another injustice upon Atemu-Ta, who clings to his absolute freedom. His inalienable right to turn buurz, perhaps. He has declared that Madoc’Lur’s attempt to keep shamans away from buurzdom in the Lodge is isfetian —that is to say, in their tongue, buurz. And so, with this final insult, the Iron Horde joined the Qualasheen in their war against the mad pharaoh. ORCISH CULTURE Spiritualism: Meet Addâgse The spirits are central to the orcish culture. They live in their respective realm, neatly separated from the mortal plane— we are told. And so I believed, until a few years ago, as I wandered the great deserts of Krugmar, a hundred miles away from any other descendant. So, I believed, until Addâgse wandered Aevos for a year, and my path met his. Addâgse, I think —for I could never understand the answers he gave to my questions— is the spirit of childhood and innocence. I could not, despite my attempts, determine who Addâgse was lesser under, but I did find that he carried a great deal of wisdom, and many secrets. “Please— You draw me a sheep!” Are the words I heard. I was somewhere, nowhere in the lonely and harsh desert. Yet, he was there. He looked like an extraordinary halfling, with locks of gold and wearing a long, green robe. He had tiny glistening eyes that seemed to look deeply into my being, through my soul, probing my very existence. “Please— You draw me a sheep!” He called again. And I had to comply, for one does not refuse a quest bestowed by the spirits, no matter how measly or seemingly meaningless. He taught me, with all the excruciating patience required to teach grown-ups, the meaning of important things, and the lies of what seems. (Here, I am having to simplify, for many of my readers are grown-ups too.) He told me of those he met on his journey through Aevos; meaningful encounters, and meaningless encounters; the fox who he tamed, and the flower who had tamed him; the one who counts the stars, and those who watch the stars, and me who now listens to them. I have attempted to draw Addâgse— so that you may recognize him, should he ever roam Aevos again. And if he does, and you meet him, please make sure to send me a letter; for I do believe that he has tamed me too. And if you too wish to know him better, seek the books on the Little Spirit in the Ancestral Archives of Orgrimmar; there, I have compiled his story in much more detail than I can do here. PEEP DIZ! Breasal Nimblefoot’s Birthday Our dear friend Breasal Nimblefoot is having his 100th birthday, and will be hosting a great party in Dunwen! He has promised drinking, dancing, and games; and like any halfling party, we are convinced this will be one zkah of a time! The party will start on the third cactus hour of the eastern afternoon. On The Kaktuz You must have noticed that the Kaktuz Weekli has not been published in the last couple cactus weeks. It is because I have been on a journey, a self-exile into the desert. It is in fact there that I have met Addâgse. I am happy to announce that I am back, strengthened, wisened, and ready to face life with all my might. As announced, a new section was added to the Kaktuz Weekli; PEEP DIZ! It will hold things we think deserve to be spread across Aevos, or possibly advertisements. Paid advertisements will of course be flagged as such. Please get in touch with anyone in our team ((or better, leave your message below!)) if you wish to have a message in this section of the next issue! The Team Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  2. Gharak had been walking through the deserts of Krugmar for a few months now— and yet she had made no progress at all on her journey. Standing on a dune higher than the others, she looked at the ever-stretching sands below. “Da Zkah ahm mi duin… ” Perhaps it was the heat of the desert, or the lack of water —it had been a few days since she last encountered an oasis— that made her mind so foggy. She had no clue what she even expected out here. It had been shame, and shame alone that had set her feet in motion. She had lost so much, she could barely stand the thought of showing her face in Orcgrimmar. A few months back, it was while investigating for her newspaper that she had found herself in Celia’lin. She had been there before, though not enough to be familiar with the place. Seeing a voidal mage, it seemed obvious to her that she should kill it there and then. Letting a long-contained rage unleash, she had fought the buurz one. Bloodlust, it turns out, makes one foolish and blind. The fight was not as glorious as she had expected. A missing tusk and a burnt cheek is all she had gotten, for she couldn’t even scratch the buurz one. Let alone kill it! Her life was spared only for the perverted amusement of her enemy. It was pride that made her fight, rage that made her push through her obvious defeat, and shame that sent her on a meaningless walk through the desert. And now, she was feeling even more ashamed of having let those feelings rule over her life. “Iv mi’z haart keepz betreyin mi, mi zhud lurn tu ignore eht.” she said, with untrue resolve. And yet, the feelings remained. And she knew very well she could not ignore them. Shame, again, made her walk further into the desert.
  3. The first stars appeared above Gharak as the sun sank beyond the dunes. She walked a bit more, until darkness made more progress impossible— then, lighting no fire, she wrapped herself up in a thick pelt— and tried to sleep. She never had good sleep, out in the harsh desert: the nights were always viciously cold. But this night was even worse, for she had an uneasy feeling which she had not felt in a while… As if she was being watched…
  4. This event is CANCELLED for IRP reasons. I will try to organize something like this when the time is right again.
  5. [!] Neat envelopes are sent across Aevos. They contain two carefully written letters… To all Artists of the tongue, Bards and Singers, Poets and Writers from Krugmar and beyond; As Skriptgoth of the Horde, I invite you to a skirmish of words; a quirky competition of creativity and expression; the Krugmar Poet-Klomps! All of us will meet on Snow’s Maiden in just a week [Wednesday Jan 31st, 7pm EST], take a few drugs, head for the Underkrug! That’s where we shall gather; in Brimztra’s Amphitheater. The participants will sing or speak their art, roaring with no weak heart! With Grommash besides me, we will be referees; judging each performance that is played before us. The winning artist will get 100 minas as reward, and 50 more, if they wish, as a grant to write a book for the Ancestral Archives of Orcgrimmar. — Gharak'Yar, Skripgoth of the Horde [!] The second letter reads as follows Rules of the competition: Anyone may participate, but non-orcs will have to pay a fee of 10 mina Anyone is welcome to listen to the contestants performances Each contestant may only submit one poem or song Contestants may write their piece in advance, but it must be an original work The performance must not be too long ((max 5 emotes, but they can be triple-appended)) Their work might be used in the publication of a poetic anthology following the Poet-Klomps. Regarding the awarding of points: Rex Grommash and Skripgoth Gharak’Yar will be awarding the points They will each award up to 3 points for each category: orkishness of the theme musical properties (rhythm, rhymes…) powerfulness general performance audience appreciation For a maximum of 30 points. In case of tied winners, they will all receive the reward. [!] Something is written on the back of the invitation. Gaakh Brimztra golmûzum Lab srizaz durbartha, Amal largurukum Kulûkghaara flûsta Mâdurz uklash ûkil Skoiub tala urbrar, Agh thaguzgthu zazhfiil Kulkhlaara taaranor
  6. "Diz bringz ah tear tu mi’z peepur—"
  7. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Gakh (XVIII) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Futh (CLXIV) D.A. ORC POLITICS A New Vassal to the Horde? The Iron Horde might be getting a new vassal soon. A tribe of Qualasheen Far-folk arrived on Malin’s Welcome [Tuesday], and expressed a desire to settle in the deserts of Krugmar. The delegation of the Al-Badwawi tribe was composed of three people. Their leader, Sultan Mehmed Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi, was accompanied by two advisors; Shura Bayezid Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi, and Shura Taiseer Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi. They seemed very pious, and eager to share both goods and culture; indeed, they are Qualasheen, which is to say they follow the Iiman Rashidun. They believe, much like Canonists, that there is only one god and creator; though they do not follow the canonist scrolls; they have their own scriptures known as the Book of Peace. They have expressed a distaste for needless violence but I must assume they are competent military-wise; they are well armed and have dedicated military roles. Bayezid has blah’d his role among the Shura council was that of military advisor; helping the Sultan for matters of strategic warfare. Though this will be further discussed, detailed and made official during this cactus day’s Klamor, Rex Grommash has welcomed their arrival in principle, so long as they share the way of orcs. He stated the Horde’s conditions: “you’re to trade, to share food and water with us, to bring warriors when the horde marches.” — Which they accepted with honor. FOREIGN AFFAIRS The new Grand King of Urguan Following Grand King Garedyn’s passing, the dwarves of Urguan have seen a new king rise to the throne. Sigrun Stonehammer gave the Kaktuz Weekli an interviews a few months after gaining his position. Will we be seeing a change of policies in Urguan under your reign? “Not really… I’ve been running Urguan as Grand Regent under Garedyn for four years before hand, so I’m gonna stick with what I know how to deal with: which is winning this war. I have a great set of advisors behind me for political affairs, but Garedyn's policies have done us very well so far so I don’t see a reason to change.” Regarding the war, he added: “I know well what I’m doing when it comes to it, and its consequences, so I have no intent on dishonouring the alliance. Urguan is the most honourable state and always keeps to its word, and that reputation is something I seek to keep.” Are there large events you want to oversee during your reign? “Yes! I have many great events planned for Urguan, including a whole new city that will be carved out of the mountain.” he announced— but seemed reluctant to share more. Concerning relations with the Iron Horde, do you see it as an enemy nation, or is it just a matter of circumstances? “We will have to see until after we deal with Veletz,” he sighed “but I have sent no dwarven raiders or attacks upon the people of the horde in particular, except for the shared large battles.” “It appears they do not share the same sentiment, as they have repeatedly sent Urukin to attack our farms and roads.” he warned. “If you don’t want to invoke my ire for after Veletz, then I suggest stopping it.” Any closing words for our readers, or for orcs? “What I would say to orcs back in the Horde is to advise good friend Grommash to take their livelihoods in priority over assisting Veletz.” ORCISH CULTURE Orkish Delights: Kruga Kola! This week in the Kaktuz Weekli… The recipe for an old Krugmarian drink: Kruga Kola! Ingredients: A twiggie A handful of salt One brick of butter A few bottles of wine A few ripe potatoes Cinnamon, Vanilla and spices of your liking Preparation: Peel the twiggie, and chop it into 5 or 10 bite-size pieces. Salt, then sear the chunks in butter in a large pan over a medium fire, mixing well so that it does not burn. Prepare your cauldron; pour one bottle of wine in it without bringing it to a boil. Once the chunks are well-cooked on each side, transfer to the cauldron. Add wine until the meat is fully covered, and place a lid on top. Boil slowly over a small fire, and mix every now and then to check the level. When the wine has boiled down to half its initial level, add the potatoes and top the cauldron with water. Keep it warm over a smoldering fire for the day. Mix every few hours; it should never boil. Add cinnamon, vanilla and any spices you like. Leave to rest for the night. The next morning, mix gently to avoid creating air bubbles, then separate the stew into sturdy oak barrels. Be very careful; there should be as little air as possible. If needed, add boiled (not boiling!) water to top up the barrels. Seal them and let them ferment for at least a month. Kruga-Kola is a carbonated drink; pick your barrels accordingly. Half the batch usually fails; hence why it is recommended to prepare as many smaller barrels as you can. Sift the Kruga Kola after opening the barrels. You may also open the barrels early, sift the contents and complete the fermentation in bottles. There you have it! Dark, fuzzy Twiggie Stew with its cinnamony, quiet vanilla aftertaste: that’s Kruga Kola! On The Kaktuz A new Section coming next Issue! Hopefully starting next issue, we will be adding a new section to the Kaktuz Weekli; “Did lat gruk?” where we hope to show you things you might not have known. Places worth visiting, small cultural traditions, interesting and unique shops… The Kaktuz Weekli is looking forward to reading your ideas if you can think of places that you want to share! Help your Newspaper! In its effort to reach a broader audience, we are hiring a paper boy for the Kaktuz Weekli. As always, we are also still looking for informants who will help us with local news outside of Krugmar. Thanks for reading! Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  8. Gharak was rummaging through a pile of old newspaper when she stumbled upon this. “Dah ZKAH happened dere?” — but at the top of page she recognized the slanted N.E.N.A. header. “Oh… Diz ahm nub’hozh, mi waz peepin’ forward for diz Twiggieh newzpapur!” She sighed, then looked at the archives with tired eyes. “It muzt bi zomewhere here” — and so she resumed her search…
  9. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Dub (XVII) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Gakh (CLXIII) D.A. ORC POLITICS Orc of the Week: Grommash! Though I suspect —and hope!— our readers know what a Rex is, and who Grommash is, this issue’s orc of the week is the Rex, the leader of the orcs. He took the position after Grubsnakh the Olog fell sick, and has been overseeing vast reforms, including the reconstruction of our capital San’Brîu, which was dismantled in favor of the current Orcgrimmar. So, how is it, being Rex? “Being Rex is very strange. I think I have approached the Rexdom differently than many previous Rexes. The Rex is not the strongest of Orcs, or rather the Rex must be more than that. The Rex speaks for the Horde, he leads the Horde. He is responsible for ensuring the prosperity and the virtue of the Horde. In that sense he is not just the Horde speaker but also the Horde father. Where he commands, the Horde goes. By his will warriors kill and die.” We have seen the horde change with more orcs, more events and a more aggressive stance towards other nations. Do you think it’s good now or will you be striving for even more change? “I think the changes I have brought to the Horde are a step in the right direction. But frankly the Horde is far from where it needs to be. Without the support of the elders, the Chieftains and the Goths of the Rex council we would not have achieved any progress at all.” “In that sense I want to thank Minto, Azfrai, Apek, Madoc, Gazhnakh, the leaders of Gobtown, as well as the masters of the guild. Even non-goth orcs such as Grogmar have been indispensable for the success of the horde.” “Regarding the more aggressive stance… —he paused for a moment— I don't think that is true. The humans may dance their tongue dances and speak their honeywords, but we are Uruks, children of Krug himself. We should speak in truth always. I have approached many of these nations under the white banner of truce many times to speak to them. There has never been a violation of the white banner of truce by Orcs. Not when we visited Hysland, not when we visited Norland, not when we visited Dwedland, not when we went to Aaun to return the corpse of their dead knight and the children he had left with us.” “The Orcish stance from the beginning of the war has been very clear. Before the war even started I made it abundantly clear, especially to the Hyspians. The desert belongs to the Orcs. Those who live in the desert will be considered invaders.” We have also seen you put a lot of effort in foreign diplomacy, how is this going? “Well…” He sighed. “Many nations are helping to make a new human empire, I think. They have forgotten what it means for the rest of us.” — “Many orcs have died during the war of ten nations, and I’m trying to make sure they haven’t died in vain.” You wanted to create a Kubrex role during last Klamor, have you got any orc in mind for the position? “No. I had some candidates in mind but I don't think they are even ready for Kubrex yet. I have been giving some of the orcs responsibilities and missions to see if they can be trusted. At the moment I don't think anyone is really ready yet. Kho is not interested in being Rex.” There have been rumors going on about you looking for a lifemate, is it true? What qualities are you looking for in them? “I have been too busy with the war to even give it thought. A feorc who works hard for the horde maybe?” You’ve remained clanless, do you plan on joining a clan any time soon? “I have been focusing on the war and reforms. There aren't really any clans that I feel drawn to at the moment. I think that much of the new orc population is also clanless. It seems like the position of clans in Orcish society is changing somewhat.” “Honestly I'd really like to see my Wargoths and Chieftains step up and do more, they have been disappointing up until now.” — “For the foreseeable future I will probably stay clanless.” Anything else you want to add? “I'd like to thank all the Orcs who have been working for the greater good of the Horde. We will preserve the way of Krug and the land given to us by Krug, our ancestors, and the spirits.” FOREIGN AFFAIRS A Paladin’s Daily Path Though it is the orc’s Krug-given mission to rid the world of the darkspawn, we are not the only ones to fight bûurz. Paladins are also dedicated to eradicating darkspawns; so Elena of Joma agreed to tell us more about their order. Interview by Spuds. What first brought you into paladinism? “Well, originally I sought to be a void mage in Hohkmat… I made an encounter with several inferi, that made a deal with a man then walked away without anyone to stand up to them. That encounter changed my views and later down the line it was my first mentor, Viltaren of Ahad, that made me interested in this path.” I must assume your view on the world has changed since then? “It has changed greatly! I had no idea who the azdrazi were until I became a paladin. They are a horrid threat that practice foul magics.” “When I was seeking to be a void mage, I sought power for my own benefit. I sought power to make sure no one would take advantage of me again.” — “Now… I do have power, more than I could have thought possible. Though it is through service and a strict set of oaths that I am able to have such power, and I can only use it for such service. I have become content in keeping others safe and helping people, and have especially grown my capacity for empathy to all descendants.” “But,” she added, “for many it is less about noble hearts and more about serving Xan’s will. We are pledged to further Xan’s goals of Order and Guardianship to the best of our ability, with Xan’s power as a gift to aid us in that regard when necessary.” And how does day-to-day life look like being a Xan blessed warrior? “Some of us live in relative peace and tranquillity, mainly doing our activities when called upon by our comrades, but others are often right in the thick of it, getting consistent letters for healing malflame wounds, lifting curses, giving the population blessed items according to their needs against such forces, defending a region from invasion, raiding a suspected or confirmed hiding place for them, or collecting information about potential darkspawn.” Thank you very much! Do you want to tell anything more to our readers? “Well, I hope that I do not romanticize the life of a paladin, nor make it seem like a torturous existence.” — “It is a worthy path for those that seek to go towards a higher calling against those of Iblees and Azdromoth.” “It is a big commitment, —she emphasized— one that should not be scorned or judged.” ORCISH CULTURE The Ashst Lodge Meeting A cactus week ago, the Lodge held its first meeting. Shamans from all around Krugmar —as well as from distant lands— gathered in the great shaman tent of Orcgrimmar to discuss important matters. The blahing was long, with many great shamans voicing their conflicting opinions… which was indeed the whole point of the gathering. The first issue discussed was regarding the Azulytes, and their affiliation with darkspawn. After careful discussion, they were declared enemies of the Lodge. Then the shamans blahed regarding Skorkon the inferi bull, who has been at the heart of many heated debates and infighting all the way back to the times of Almaris. Indeed, though Zkorkon is of buurz origins, for a while it was thought that shamanism could cure his condition and bring him up to a better existence. However, after such a long time, it became clear that such a perspective was only an illusion. The matter was settled once and for all, for it was decided that he would be flatted. Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Spuds, Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  10. The Yargoth took a pause from her usual book-sorting tasks. Stepping outside the library, she saw the Goblin coming back to Orcgrimmar. He did, indeed, look like he had learned a lot. “Hozh, hozh…” she hummed to herself. “Hi ahm expanding hiz grukkin ob dah Uzg alryth'” she grinned, before heading back inside.
  11. Thanks for this great plugin! I’d love to see the netherrack variations too, I don’t think we can get nylium? (the nether grass blocks)
  12. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Azh (XVI) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Dub (CLXII) D.A. ORC OF THE GRUB WEEK A Grubgoth for the Horde! The Grubgoth in Krugmar is nub only the keeper of the tavern, but also the steward of our rich culinary culture and refinement. Agh Cob'Lur the goblin recently took the position! What better choice for orc of the week? Ashst, congratulations on being Grubgoth! “Yub yub, this is exciting news, because I wasn’t sure myself until the rex said it. I have been trying to keep the orcs fed!” You have been working at the tavern for some time now, yes? Were you aiming to become Grubgoth? “I definitely love the honour of becoming Grubgoth. But mostly I find cooking for my brothers and sisters relaxing and it makes me happy!” “I also saw as a child that the tavern was closed. —Indeed, Cob is the first Grubgoth we have in decades, the last ash being Kor'Garr— I always wanted to work here and serve food!” Did someone teach you, or did you learn on your own? “I learned from my adoptive parents. My mother was Zkrap, agh mi’z popo waz Varn. I haven’t seen my blood-parents. They are most likely dead.” I understand you have been working on clan recipes... That Hungry Ungri was delicious! “Yes! I made something simple yet pleasing to represent the Ungris. Simple yet good orcs who have a big appetite.” She showed me a booklet with a dozen clan-related recipes planned ahead. “I have to introduce the vinteky stew sometime soon!” I will be looking forward to that. Is there anything you want to add, to blah the Horde perhaps? “I want to tell them that they are the best brothers and sisters I could ever hope for!” Recipe of the Hungry Ungri Cob was kind enough to share an exclusive recipe for her latest creation: the Hungry Ungry! Take a whole cow, agh clean its guts from both ends. Fill it with vegetables, most importantly garlic, onion agh hot peppers. You may also add carrots, mushrooms agh beans. For a fresh taste, add a few ripe fruits; apples agh pears add their sweet juices to the meat agh extra flavor. Slowly roast above a weak fire for an entire day. Then, eat it while it is still warm! FOREIGN GRUBBING Halfling Wizard Cheese Magnolia Fiddleberry, the halfling wizard, owns a wizard cheese shop, right next to the Dunfarthing cheese museum. She agreed to answer a few questions: So, please tell us more about this cheesemancing business... “I have been cheesemancing for about seventy years now. Of course, my cheese was good before I became a wizard. The magic isn’t what makes the cheese good. It’s what makes it wizard cheese.” She proudly explained: “yeah, I could stir the curds and press the whey and all that bad hand. But I can also do it with magic.” Agh were you taught magic? Or is that something you developed on your own? “Do you know of Barbog? He lived in Honeyhill since before I was born.” We discussed a bit about the great goblin philosopher— “Well, he taught me the start of magic. Then I spent a few years travelling. Hopping between libraries to read all the spellbooks I could find. Now I’ve written my own.” I see. How do you see this evolving in the coming years? “I’m planning to try a few things out based on some suggestions of cheese I got. Someone said to put chocolate in cheese. Heck yeah I’m gonna do that! And in terms of the wizard side, I’m working on a second spellbook for Kitchen Magic right now.” Do you have students, or would you like to? “I’m not the best teacher myself. Not really anything I could teach them beyond advice, which they can ask me for anyways.” “But I did make my basement a bit of a public magicking space for Dunfarthing. So there will be my spellbooks for anyone to learn from there, alongside a lil’ library of magic.” That sounds great indeed. Any closing words for our readers? “Smoke pipe, life y’ life. Respect t’ frogs. Eat a toastie. And above all: Stay wizardin’.” GRUBING CULTURE Da Ultimate Grubber Deep within the Ungri Clan halls, lives a spirit like no other. To my knowledge, the Maw is the only spirit who permanently dwells in the mortal plane, right beneath Krugmar. It resembles a massive beast-worm buried in the ground, its mouth gaping, waiting to be fed. Looking below from the plank which has been set up for this purpose, ash can see row after row of sharp teeth growing from the sides of its endless throat; a cavity which goes so far deep down into the earth that the bottom cannot be seen. That is the Maw, the father of ologs, the spirit which the Ungris worship. "Our god is cruel, our god is mighty, our god will consume the mortal plane should we fail it." the Ungri wargoth, Drekür'Ungri blahd me. Even —agh perhaps especially— to the Ungris, the Maw represents a great menace, for they know "the consequences of not delivering the Maw what it deserves". Indeed, in the past the Maw has already unleashed its wrath on descendants. It was in the times of Athera. Back then, "even Ologs knew none of their father’s hunger", agh for this the Maw destroyed Athera. The Maw munching Athera With a few terrible bites, the entire continent was consumed; those who foolishly fought were eaten, those who fled escaped only to live their last days in fear of the great beast. The Ologs heard the Maw's voice agh worshipped it, fed it with all they could gather. Agh so far, it seems they have indeed been able to keep its appetite and anger at bay. "This is why we serve him! This is why we venerate and feed it." Drekür further explained— "Because the realm remains ignorant, remains filled with hubris, without the Ungri the maw would punish once again. But next time his sacred bites shall be absolute, world-ending." "The world sees us as mindless brutes… but we are zealous servants of the realms existence." Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
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