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  1. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! The return of Issue Azhty’H’Futh (XIX) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’H’Futh (CLIX) D.A. ORC POLITICS A Vampire in Orcgrimmar Many orcish readers might know Bug, the pale-green uruk. I myself have known him for a few years, and he has been, to me, like any other bruddah. However, recent Spook-testing by our Krimpgoth Gnarla’Vukh revealed that he was infected by the vampiric curse. He unfortunately resisted his arrest, wounding many orcs. For the safety of all those present, he was therefore killed. However, it seems that monks came by, and brought Bug back to life. Indeed, Elena of Joma, a friend and Paladin, told me that she found Bug “lying on the ground, covered in gore” in Lurin, “paralyzed from the neck down”; likely the result of a fight. Then, he accepted to be cured —though, admittedly, he did not have much of a choice. “He said he had been infected for… about 4 or 5 cactus weeks, so it was within the 12 year period one has before it’s too late to be cured.” she explained. “Descendants turn into vampires by consuming a vampire’s blood.” — “I’ve known some to have been forced to do so,” and according to her, in some cases, “the social stigma of being cursed and the difficulty in seeking help” can make it complicated to get cured. Some can be “under the eyes of a whole coven of vampires, and feel that their safety is threatened should they seek treatment.” Gnarla told me that Bug seemed genuinely confused, and distressed by the whole situation. She held similar assumptions, deeming that he was probably forced into his situation. Though I have not been able to get in touch with Bug to hear his version of the story, it therefore seems that he had no choice in this, and is not buurz himself. Regarding the prevention of future cases, Elena advised: “the main way to test if someone is a vampire is through testing their freshly cut wounds with salt. If it boils, then they’re a vampire.” — “Fangs and claws can be unseen, so they are no good way of finding out.” — “Refrain from travelling alone, as they often attack solitary wanderers… and if you suspect someone to be a vampire, do never confront them alone!” she insisted. FOREIGN AFFAIRS Wagh upon the Sand-Elves I should begin this article by stating that my heart is weighed in the following matters. Our elder Madoc’Lur is a friend to me, and I am a part of the Shaman Lodge; though not once has it bothered me in my duties as Shaman, Skriptgoth, Yargoth, or writer of the Kaktuz Weekli. Yet, I seek to uncover and speak the truth; may each of my words be a praise to Theruz. —Gharak'Yar One might say the conflict between orcs and Atemu-ta's kin dates back to the times of Rex Kybal’Akaal, over 4 cactus months ago. The lads, as they were known, lived in Krugmar, and were taught shamanic ways after becoming honorary orcs. Atemu-Ta, who recently spread extensive propaganda across the continent, claims he was mistreated back then. This could be true. Perhaps, he was treated like an orc, and strength was expected of him where he did not have it. An orc facing injustice doesn’t merely write, or speak of it; he fights, and removes it. Atemu-Ta, being incapable or perhaps refusing such boldness, proved to not be an orc. And so, he was no longer called an orc. He saw this as another injustice. Yet again, he refused to fight it; he did not defend his views, refused challenges and klomps, calling upon his own moral values. To refuse orcish ways in orcish land is to set oneself up for a beating. His sister, trying to protect him, entered a klomp he was losing to honour his principles. She was killed. To interrupt a klomp is to deny both fighters their honour. Destroyed by this, he left Krugmar. Orcs do not mind that elves be elves in elven lands. Atemu-Ta was clearly not an orc, and trying to join a Horde made for orcs was his mistake. Rex Grommash, who now rules upon the Hordelands, pardoned the enemies of the Horde upon accessing the throne. Yet, Atemu-Ta and his Rah’Mun people did not cut all his ties with orcs. Their shamans kept worshipping our spirits. I have witnessed their undoubtedly elvish ways in this art, when I tried to give his people a fair chance. I too, of course, felt sorry for the mourning pharaoh. Yet in their shrines I found our spirits twisted with untrue, elvish names. Old Blah, the language of the spirits, must only be used to speak truth; to speak wrong names is a travesty, a betrayal. It is the precise reason why this tongue is so closely guarded. But they did not only insult the spirits in their own land. They built a shrine on land which, as decided in the previous Southern Summit, belonged to the Qualasheen. This triggered a holy war. Motsham Madoc’Lur has been working on gathering the shamans to guard them from falling into the arms of buurz like they have in the past. Is it unfair to ask that shamans, keepers of our ways, hold an eye on each other? That they make sure none stray away? Another injustice upon Atemu-Ta, who clings to his absolute freedom. His inalienable right to turn buurz, perhaps. He has declared that Madoc’Lur’s attempt to keep shamans away from buurzdom in the Lodge is isfetian —that is to say, in their tongue, buurz. And so, with this final insult, the Iron Horde joined the Qualasheen in their war against the mad pharaoh. ORCISH CULTURE Spiritualism: Meet Addâgse The spirits are central to the orcish culture. They live in their respective realm, neatly separated from the mortal plane— we are told. And so I believed, until a few years ago, as I wandered the great deserts of Krugmar, a hundred miles away from any other descendant. So, I believed, until Addâgse wandered Aevos for a year, and my path met his. Addâgse, I think —for I could never understand the answers he gave to my questions— is the spirit of childhood and innocence. I could not, despite my attempts, determine who Addâgse was lesser under, but I did find that he carried a great deal of wisdom, and many secrets. “Please— You draw me a sheep!” Are the words I heard. I was somewhere, nowhere in the lonely and harsh desert. Yet, he was there. He looked like an extraordinary halfling, with locks of gold and wearing a long, green robe. He had tiny glistening eyes that seemed to look deeply into my being, through my soul, probing my very existence. “Please— You draw me a sheep!” He called again. And I had to comply, for one does not refuse a quest bestowed by the spirits, no matter how measly or seemingly meaningless. He taught me, with all the excruciating patience required to teach grown-ups, the meaning of important things, and the lies of what seems. (Here, I am having to simplify, for many of my readers are grown-ups too.) He told me of those he met on his journey through Aevos; meaningful encounters, and meaningless encounters; the fox who he tamed, and the flower who had tamed him; the one who counts the stars, and those who watch the stars, and me who now listens to them. I have attempted to draw Addâgse— so that you may recognize him, should he ever roam Aevos again. And if he does, and you meet him, please make sure to send me a letter; for I do believe that he has tamed me too. And if you too wish to know him better, seek the books on the Little Spirit in the Ancestral Archives of Orgrimmar; there, I have compiled his story in much more detail than I can do here. PEEP DIZ! Breasal Nimblefoot’s Birthday Our dear friend Breasal Nimblefoot is having his 100th birthday, and will be hosting a great party in Dunwen! He has promised drinking, dancing, and games; and like any halfling party, we are convinced this will be one zkah of a time! The party will start on the third cactus hour of the eastern afternoon. On The Kaktuz You must have noticed that the Kaktuz Weekli has not been published in the last couple cactus weeks. It is because I have been on a journey, a self-exile into the desert. It is in fact there that I have met Addâgse. I am happy to announce that I am back, strengthened, wisened, and ready to face life with all my might. As announced, a new section was added to the Kaktuz Weekli; PEEP DIZ! It will hold things we think deserve to be spread across Aevos, or possibly advertisements. Paid advertisements will of course be flagged as such. Please get in touch with anyone in our team ((or better, leave your message below!)) if you wish to have a message in this section of the next issue! The Team Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  2. Krimpgoth Announcement As the newly appointed Krimpgoth of the Iron Horde. I will ensure that all orcs within the horde follow the standards set by our spirits and by Krug himself. Any who dishonor the orcish grizh will have to answer to me and my fellow krimphai. Honoraries Honoraries have served to be an important part of the horde. As it stands, these honoraries are to be recognized as urukhim until otherwise stated. The only current honoraries in the horde are: -Minto'Lur -Obok'Ugluk -Slith'Ungri -Sally'Yar Whitewashes These specific orcs have shown that they do not honor the urukhim way and shall be hunted until they learn to change their ways. Current official whitewashes include: -’Yrmsik Fiyem’ of Kaethul -'Krognag' of (possibly) Petra Both of these lists will be updated as needed and posted on the notice board within Krugmar. Ang Gijak-Ishi, Gnarla’Vukh, Krimpgoth Of The Iron Horde.
  3. Protection of the Southern Summit 2nd of The Grand Harvest SA 168 The chapter is written in a hurry, with a thin layer of sand coating it. The Southern Summit is near, and there is a lot of work to do. I'm one of the shamans appointed to help guard this place from buurz infiltrators. It's the largest meeting I'll be attending yet, next to that party at Haelun'or...that was a blast, everyone of my bruddas got wasted. Good times. But back to work! May Jevex give me the strenght to carry on those tasks. There is salt and aurum to be spead, for it prevents demons, undead and other darkspawns from entering, shall there be unwanted attention form those corrupted forces. May Scorthuz protect us and cleanse all the taint creeping towards the meeting. There are totems to erect and wards to cast, but since I'm not yet powerful enough to do it myself I'll lend my energy to the other shamans performing the rituals: hopefully my lessons will bring me closer to the great shamans we have at the lodge. May Theruz guide me in the pursuit of the knowledge. The sand shifts hot, but we shall be tougher. The wind blows strong, but we will be stronger. The mountain stands unwavering, and we will be steadfast in the reaching of this alliance-to-be. Lûp'Krug, gaakh ghûlumta'izishu morûzalul!
  4. @siglms_ Mi challenge the honor of Krimpgoth agh hiz decizion, uzing the negleckful example of the foreign Onizhiman Uruks, and pardoning the Petra whitewazh whoze faith iz in the burs gods of Krug's enemies, agh who iz nub committed to the zacred zpirit of Krug, the Old Popo and Spirit Popo. A collectiun of beliefz is more like a confuzed zpirit than one who grukz its purpose. Any Orc that does not conform to the path ub Krug and their ancestors is lozt and haz fallen to the darknezz. I intend to challunj Druz the Krimpgoth to an honor klomp until he exhibits regret for his actions and seeks absolution in Krug and the Ancestor Spirits. Forgiving a deluzional brudda is nub an act of compazzion but rather an affirmation of their diztorted world-peep and collekted religiouz beliefz. A zon of Krug ought to remain wit hiz kin and blood family who can better protect and guide him in life. If there is no honor among blood-bound relativez, then the blessingz of Krug have been lost from the Uzg. Unfortuunatly, an Elder haz to be the only ash to uphold the remaining honor among blood bruddas. Name the tik agh plaze. [This is a challenge to the spirit of the Krimpgoth decision to pardon Gob Ztabba-Zniffa (@MrMojoMordor) of Whitewash status despite his lack of faith in Krug and absence from the Fatherland of the Desert. If the Krimpgoth reverses his decision, the challenge will be resolved. It is not an attempt to claim the role of Krimpgoth.]
  5. The Beastslayers The Beastslayers are skilled warriors in the Art of the Hunt. They are known for their cunning, courage, and expansive knowledge of the landscape and the beasts that reside within that region. A common tradition among this band of hunters is to collect a remnant of their kill and wear it proudly upon their person to represent their relentless pursuit of the Hunt. A group of Beastslayers charge their prey Guided Hunts - As expert hunters, beastslayers will guide new hunters and share their knowledge with them as they pursue their prey. Ultimately using their skills to assist those undergoing a Coming of Age Trial or those who wish to add another trophy to their collection. Expand the bestiary - Beastslayers are to report and document new creatures, examine their behaviors, and recognize patterns they exhibit. A band of a hunters prepare an attack with their beast in tow The Art of the Hunt Tracking - A task paramount to the Art of the Hunt is to be able to successfully track your prey. Know their patterns, their behaviors, and pinpoint their weaknesses to execute them with precision. Trapping - While most will hunt their prey by tracking them, those who are most knowledgeable about their environment and their prey will lure their prey to them instead. Only the most cunning of beastslayers use their surroundings to their advantage and leap from the shadows when their prey least expects them. Taming - Not only is a beastslayer’s duty to conquer nature physically, but spiritually as well. After capturing a beast, the hunter will assess the capabilities of the creature whether the creature will be used for transport, food, or be employed into the ranks of the Iron Horde. Using intimidation and fearlessness will be paramount in dominating the spirit of a ferocious beast. Headhunters take on a treacherous foe Titles Huntzgoth - Master of the Hunt and employed by the Dominus to organize scouting missions, assign tasks to investigate the regions surrounding the nation, and train Beastslayers to become competent hunters that provide for the Iron Horde. Headhunter - Headhunters are the most capable beastslayers and have the scars to prove it. For one to become a headhunter, they must master Art of the Hunt and seek out the most elusive, vicious, and dreadful creatures known to the Iron Horde. Once executed, they will then display their trophy before the Rex to honor him. Only then will they be known as a Headhunter and be given the title of their most prized kill.
  6. INTRODUCTION The Targoth pondered ideas to strengthen and organize the Krughai. He decided to discard the previous ranking system, abolishing past ranks making Waghbozz Targoth And Matar the only ranks remaining. As Uruk are already expected to participate in the military and in battles. Instead, a new elite rank, named Matar, would be created exclusively for the strongest and bravest Uruk in the horde. This rank wouldn't be given but earned through proving one's worth to the Targoth in battle and various other ways. All members of this elite force were expected to be capable of wreaking havoc in battle and tearing through enemies, bringing glory to Krug. THE MATAR OF THE KRUGHAI The Matar consist of a group of Uruk, the best trained and loyal to Krugmar. They come from a long history of doing seemingly impossible tasks; the Targoth and Rex would use this group of elite Uruk to go out on the most dangerous of missions. To join this elite force you have to have proven yourself to be an elite warrior. They are handpicked by both the Targoth and the Rex.. The Matar would like to go together to pillage and loot their enemies. As an elite warrior, those of the Matar are expected to be silent, quick, and deadly. By the time you find out the Matar has hit you, they’re already gone. It takes a special kind of person to qualify for this role, and if you do, you’d better be ready to prove it with your smarts, strength and willingness to march head-on into impossible situations. THE WARBOSS The Waghbozz rank would only be obtained through long commitment to the Krughai and from already being one of the Matar. If there is a spot open among the three spots of becoming a Waghbozz the member of the Matar would fight a current Waghbozz the fight spectated by the Targoth and that would determine whether they get the Rank of Waghbozz based off of how well they do against one of the current Waghbozz. Continuing to brainstorm, the Targoth also decided to revamp the Waghbozz rank into a role reserved for Uruks who had attained the Matar rank. Promotion to this level would only happen with Targoth or Rex approval. If an Uruk wished to challenge an existing Waghbozz, they need Targoth or Rex approval, demonstrating their worthiness for the rank. The orc needs to be on par with the current Targoth to lead the Krughai and Matar. The reformed Waghbozz rank would resemble the old one but consist of a maximum of three elite marshals worthy of leading and training the Krughai THE APEK SYSTEM Additionally, the Targoth introduced clan skirmishes, inviting clans willing to showcase their strength in skirmishes to enhance the experience of Urukz in their respective clans. Details of the clan skirmishes, including date and participating clans, would be posted on the bulletin board.The rewards of winning one of these skirmishes would be a custom weapon tailored and detailed to the winning clans culture. Signed, Apek'Gorkil Targoth of the Krughai, Wargoth of Gorkil
  7. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Gakh (XVIII) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Futh (CLXIV) D.A. ORC POLITICS A New Vassal to the Horde? The Iron Horde might be getting a new vassal soon. A tribe of Qualasheen Far-folk arrived on Malin’s Welcome [Tuesday], and expressed a desire to settle in the deserts of Krugmar. The delegation of the Al-Badwawi tribe was composed of three people. Their leader, Sultan Mehmed Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi, was accompanied by two advisors; Shura Bayezid Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi, and Shura Taiseer Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi. They seemed very pious, and eager to share both goods and culture; indeed, they are Qualasheen, which is to say they follow the Iiman Rashidun. They believe, much like Canonists, that there is only one god and creator; though they do not follow the canonist scrolls; they have their own scriptures known as the Book of Peace. They have expressed a distaste for needless violence but I must assume they are competent military-wise; they are well armed and have dedicated military roles. Bayezid has blah’d his role among the Shura council was that of military advisor; helping the Sultan for matters of strategic warfare. Though this will be further discussed, detailed and made official during this cactus day’s Klamor, Rex Grommash has welcomed their arrival in principle, so long as they share the way of orcs. He stated the Horde’s conditions: “you’re to trade, to share food and water with us, to bring warriors when the horde marches.” — Which they accepted with honor. FOREIGN AFFAIRS The new Grand King of Urguan Following Grand King Garedyn’s passing, the dwarves of Urguan have seen a new king rise to the throne. Sigrun Stonehammer gave the Kaktuz Weekli an interviews a few months after gaining his position. Will we be seeing a change of policies in Urguan under your reign? “Not really… I’ve been running Urguan as Grand Regent under Garedyn for four years before hand, so I’m gonna stick with what I know how to deal with: which is winning this war. I have a great set of advisors behind me for political affairs, but Garedyn's policies have done us very well so far so I don’t see a reason to change.” Regarding the war, he added: “I know well what I’m doing when it comes to it, and its consequences, so I have no intent on dishonouring the alliance. Urguan is the most honourable state and always keeps to its word, and that reputation is something I seek to keep.” Are there large events you want to oversee during your reign? “Yes! I have many great events planned for Urguan, including a whole new city that will be carved out of the mountain.” he announced— but seemed reluctant to share more. Concerning relations with the Iron Horde, do you see it as an enemy nation, or is it just a matter of circumstances? “We will have to see until after we deal with Veletz,” he sighed “but I have sent no dwarven raiders or attacks upon the people of the horde in particular, except for the shared large battles.” “It appears they do not share the same sentiment, as they have repeatedly sent Urukin to attack our farms and roads.” he warned. “If you don’t want to invoke my ire for after Veletz, then I suggest stopping it.” Any closing words for our readers, or for orcs? “What I would say to orcs back in the Horde is to advise good friend Grommash to take their livelihoods in priority over assisting Veletz.” ORCISH CULTURE Orkish Delights: Kruga Kola! This week in the Kaktuz Weekli… The recipe for an old Krugmarian drink: Kruga Kola! Ingredients: A twiggie A handful of salt One brick of butter A few bottles of wine A few ripe potatoes Cinnamon, Vanilla and spices of your liking Preparation: Peel the twiggie, and chop it into 5 or 10 bite-size pieces. Salt, then sear the chunks in butter in a large pan over a medium fire, mixing well so that it does not burn. Prepare your cauldron; pour one bottle of wine in it without bringing it to a boil. Once the chunks are well-cooked on each side, transfer to the cauldron. Add wine until the meat is fully covered, and place a lid on top. Boil slowly over a small fire, and mix every now and then to check the level. When the wine has boiled down to half its initial level, add the potatoes and top the cauldron with water. Keep it warm over a smoldering fire for the day. Mix every few hours; it should never boil. Add cinnamon, vanilla and any spices you like. Leave to rest for the night. The next morning, mix gently to avoid creating air bubbles, then separate the stew into sturdy oak barrels. Be very careful; there should be as little air as possible. If needed, add boiled (not boiling!) water to top up the barrels. Seal them and let them ferment for at least a month. Kruga-Kola is a carbonated drink; pick your barrels accordingly. Half the batch usually fails; hence why it is recommended to prepare as many smaller barrels as you can. Sift the Kruga Kola after opening the barrels. You may also open the barrels early, sift the contents and complete the fermentation in bottles. There you have it! Dark, fuzzy Twiggie Stew with its cinnamony, quiet vanilla aftertaste: that’s Kruga Kola! On The Kaktuz A new Section coming next Issue! Hopefully starting next issue, we will be adding a new section to the Kaktuz Weekli; “Did lat gruk?” where we hope to show you things you might not have known. Places worth visiting, small cultural traditions, interesting and unique shops… The Kaktuz Weekli is looking forward to reading your ideas if you can think of places that you want to share! Help your Newspaper! In its effort to reach a broader audience, we are hiring a paper boy for the Kaktuz Weekli. As always, we are also still looking for informants who will help us with local news outside of Krugmar. Thanks for reading! Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  8. Bruddahz Room - Drayk Intru (Da Zkah Twigie) Karin'ayla? Ti, I just roamed in Ti, I'm ayla, nae still working? This ker, right now? Did I go out? Ti, I went out, I went I went to a couple of taverns I never ciw, shit Wine or water? Did you say something about a cold drink? I don't know I'm delirious Verz Azh Kupz of da mawzy Breederz in mi old burd Mi zhud blah azh agh go blarg Mi been in dis klub tu long The breedah dat mi wud zkah Iz hozh wid azh albai But mi bi drinkin bub’much Dat mi blah ‘er eniway agh blah Koruz Zkah dat breedah dat lat lub zo bad Mi knub lat ztill tink ‘bout da tymez wi ‘ad Mi blah zkah dat breedah dat lat tink lat found Agh zins lat blah bak, mi kno ‘e’z nub arownd, nub, nub Pozt - Koruz Iz latz azleep ryght nuw? Mi blah lat cud dew bettur Blah mi, hab lat ‘erd dat leytli? Mi blah lat cud dew bettur Agh mi ztart ‘eytin’ onlee if lat meyk mi Verz Dub Uh, kupz of da krugamine All mi bruddahz been ‘ere Mi peep all of ziztahz ‘ere Mi tink zhe nub hab da tyme to kik it nub moor Klompz in da mornin’ Wub lat dewin’ datz zo important? Mi bi drinkin’ bub’muzh Dat mi blah ‘er eniway agh blah Koruz Zkah dat breedah dat lat lub zo bad Mi knub lat ztill tink ‘bout da tymez wi ‘ad Mi blah zkal dat breedah dat lat tink lat found Agh zins lat blah bak, mi kno ‘e’z nub arownd, nub, nub Pozt - Koruz (Iz latz azleep ryght nuw?) Mi blah lat cud dew bettur Blah mi, hab lat ‘erd dat leytli? Mi blah lat cud dew bettur Agh mi ztart ‘eytin’ onlee if lat meyk mi Verz Gakh Mi tink mi addikted tu zkah latz momo Agh zkah latz ziztah mi onze ‘ad Mi nub tink mi konzuiz uf meykin’ nubdedz Owt da breedahz mi zponzor til it all goez nub’hozh But, zkah, iz all hozh Wi meyd azh par-ti, yub, we meyd azh par-ti, Pinkiehz keym ovur, yub, we meyd azh par-ti Mi wuz juzt blahin’ kuz dey were juzt leavin’ Blah tu mi, pliz, nuh hab much tu beliv in Mi need lat ryght nuw, latz down tu lizten tu mi? Tu meni krugamine hab been giben tu mi Mi gu zom breedahz datz livin’ uf mi Peyd fur latz fliytz agh ‘otelz, mi azeymd Bet lat kno’ dem, mi nub blah nub neymz. Aftur agh wyle, dey all zeem da zeym Mi zkah latz momo diz week, mi egzpleyn Hab agh nub’hozh tyme, adjuztin’ tu feym Krugamine in dere mikst up Mi been blahin’ kreyzi, mi glad dat lat pikt up Hozh dat lat zteyd on Mi need zomeazh to put diz weyt on Zkah, mi zorri… Pozt - Koruz (Iz latz azleep ryght nuw?) Mi blah lat cud dew bettur Blah me, hab lat ‘erd dat leytli? Mi blah lat cud dew bettur Agh mi ztart ‘eytin’ onlee if lat meyk mi Interlood Latz nub komin’? Mi guez mi juzt ztay ‘here den. Outro Juzt zkah latz momo ‘er ziztah blah “Latz urukz kreyzi”, mi ‘op nub azh ‘erd dat. Yub, mi ‘op nub azh ‘erd dat. Kuz if dey did, mi gon’ bi in zum trubl, yub If dey did, mi gon’ bi in zum trubl, Nub Futnot Lat flat Drayk'z uruk hart, lat hab hozh fun wid latz nub'ztrong twigie, mil will klomp 'im latur. Mi in mi feelingz...zkah latz momo twigie.
  9. these are extract from notes of Fagh's current project. The pages look soaked and a bit transparent Notes on Project 6th of The Amber Cold SA 163 My experiments on my project are reaching a dead end. Silth recommended me to start working alone on this project, and it's been very stimulating so far: I want to create a tool, or something, that lets others see inside of a living body without cutting it up. The basic theory I have for now about it is this: if I need to see through something, I might have to imagine it like made of glass, or transparent like a ghost. The problem is, how to manifest that transparency? I did some more simple experiment with inanimate objects: If I have, for example, an rough and sanded piece of glass (that cannot be seen through), and I put it in water, then it becomes see-through, but normal water for normal living beings won't work. I investigated the usage of water to separate and dissect, and found for example that a ray of bright light (i mixed blue red and green fire to achieve a white light) that passes through a prism full of water becomes divided into all the spectrum of colors seeable by uruks and descendants. The next step after this discovery, is changing that beam of life with a normal inanimate object, and that prism with something more complex to separate each layer of the object. Now, the problem is that the objest is indeed separated, but just by its colors, and not its substance and structural composition. I'd also need in the future to make it more portable and compact, compared to the entire dark room i need to use for now. I need to share these results with my teacher and ask him for some guidance. A small sketch of the usual objects used in the purified water jar as a footnote, there's written in a small font: Note: Some herbs to use to hallucinate? Viable?
  10. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Dub (XVII) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Gakh (CLXIII) D.A. ORC POLITICS Orc of the Week: Grommash! Though I suspect —and hope!— our readers know what a Rex is, and who Grommash is, this issue’s orc of the week is the Rex, the leader of the orcs. He took the position after Grubsnakh the Olog fell sick, and has been overseeing vast reforms, including the reconstruction of our capital San’Brîu, which was dismantled in favor of the current Orcgrimmar. So, how is it, being Rex? “Being Rex is very strange. I think I have approached the Rexdom differently than many previous Rexes. The Rex is not the strongest of Orcs, or rather the Rex must be more than that. The Rex speaks for the Horde, he leads the Horde. He is responsible for ensuring the prosperity and the virtue of the Horde. In that sense he is not just the Horde speaker but also the Horde father. Where he commands, the Horde goes. By his will warriors kill and die.” We have seen the horde change with more orcs, more events and a more aggressive stance towards other nations. Do you think it’s good now or will you be striving for even more change? “I think the changes I have brought to the Horde are a step in the right direction. But frankly the Horde is far from where it needs to be. Without the support of the elders, the Chieftains and the Goths of the Rex council we would not have achieved any progress at all.” “In that sense I want to thank Minto, Azfrai, Apek, Madoc, Gazhnakh, the leaders of Gobtown, as well as the masters of the guild. Even non-goth orcs such as Grogmar have been indispensable for the success of the horde.” “Regarding the more aggressive stance… —he paused for a moment— I don't think that is true. The humans may dance their tongue dances and speak their honeywords, but we are Uruks, children of Krug himself. We should speak in truth always. I have approached many of these nations under the white banner of truce many times to speak to them. There has never been a violation of the white banner of truce by Orcs. Not when we visited Hysland, not when we visited Norland, not when we visited Dwedland, not when we went to Aaun to return the corpse of their dead knight and the children he had left with us.” “The Orcish stance from the beginning of the war has been very clear. Before the war even started I made it abundantly clear, especially to the Hyspians. The desert belongs to the Orcs. Those who live in the desert will be considered invaders.” We have also seen you put a lot of effort in foreign diplomacy, how is this going? “Well…” He sighed. “Many nations are helping to make a new human empire, I think. They have forgotten what it means for the rest of us.” — “Many orcs have died during the war of ten nations, and I’m trying to make sure they haven’t died in vain.” You wanted to create a Kubrex role during last Klamor, have you got any orc in mind for the position? “No. I had some candidates in mind but I don't think they are even ready for Kubrex yet. I have been giving some of the orcs responsibilities and missions to see if they can be trusted. At the moment I don't think anyone is really ready yet. Kho is not interested in being Rex.” There have been rumors going on about you looking for a lifemate, is it true? What qualities are you looking for in them? “I have been too busy with the war to even give it thought. A feorc who works hard for the horde maybe?” You’ve remained clanless, do you plan on joining a clan any time soon? “I have been focusing on the war and reforms. There aren't really any clans that I feel drawn to at the moment. I think that much of the new orc population is also clanless. It seems like the position of clans in Orcish society is changing somewhat.” “Honestly I'd really like to see my Wargoths and Chieftains step up and do more, they have been disappointing up until now.” — “For the foreseeable future I will probably stay clanless.” Anything else you want to add? “I'd like to thank all the Orcs who have been working for the greater good of the Horde. We will preserve the way of Krug and the land given to us by Krug, our ancestors, and the spirits.” FOREIGN AFFAIRS A Paladin’s Daily Path Though it is the orc’s Krug-given mission to rid the world of the darkspawn, we are not the only ones to fight bûurz. Paladins are also dedicated to eradicating darkspawns; so Elena of Joma agreed to tell us more about their order. Interview by Spuds. What first brought you into paladinism? “Well, originally I sought to be a void mage in Hohkmat… I made an encounter with several inferi, that made a deal with a man then walked away without anyone to stand up to them. That encounter changed my views and later down the line it was my first mentor, Viltaren of Ahad, that made me interested in this path.” I must assume your view on the world has changed since then? “It has changed greatly! I had no idea who the azdrazi were until I became a paladin. They are a horrid threat that practice foul magics.” “When I was seeking to be a void mage, I sought power for my own benefit. I sought power to make sure no one would take advantage of me again.” — “Now… I do have power, more than I could have thought possible. Though it is through service and a strict set of oaths that I am able to have such power, and I can only use it for such service. I have become content in keeping others safe and helping people, and have especially grown my capacity for empathy to all descendants.” “But,” she added, “for many it is less about noble hearts and more about serving Xan’s will. We are pledged to further Xan’s goals of Order and Guardianship to the best of our ability, with Xan’s power as a gift to aid us in that regard when necessary.” And how does day-to-day life look like being a Xan blessed warrior? “Some of us live in relative peace and tranquillity, mainly doing our activities when called upon by our comrades, but others are often right in the thick of it, getting consistent letters for healing malflame wounds, lifting curses, giving the population blessed items according to their needs against such forces, defending a region from invasion, raiding a suspected or confirmed hiding place for them, or collecting information about potential darkspawn.” Thank you very much! Do you want to tell anything more to our readers? “Well, I hope that I do not romanticize the life of a paladin, nor make it seem like a torturous existence.” — “It is a worthy path for those that seek to go towards a higher calling against those of Iblees and Azdromoth.” “It is a big commitment, —she emphasized— one that should not be scorned or judged.” ORCISH CULTURE The Ashst Lodge Meeting A cactus week ago, the Lodge held its first meeting. Shamans from all around Krugmar —as well as from distant lands— gathered in the great shaman tent of Orcgrimmar to discuss important matters. The blahing was long, with many great shamans voicing their conflicting opinions… which was indeed the whole point of the gathering. The first issue discussed was regarding the Azulytes, and their affiliation with darkspawn. After careful discussion, they were declared enemies of the Lodge. Then the shamans blahed regarding Skorkon the inferi bull, who has been at the heart of many heated debates and infighting all the way back to the times of Almaris. Indeed, though Zkorkon is of buurz origins, for a while it was thought that shamanism could cure his condition and bring him up to a better existence. However, after such a long time, it became clear that such a perspective was only an illusion. The matter was settled once and for all, for it was decided that he would be flatted. Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Spuds, Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  11. [!] In the edge of the great desert, within the oasis, a young Uruk takes a rush to find a roll of cacti paper and spare ink. Upon sitting down by his growing Gorkil-Boar, the child began scribbling and writing with rush and haste. His first ever missive. [!] _________________________________________________________________________ Throm’ka coalrexes agh the like. Mi write this post, agh share it with mi gobbo bruddahs to spread, because mi is so, so SO bored of lats. Mi popo ashed blah’d “Lats will be a hosh warrior soon!” But that shits cannub happen if lats nuber klomp! Every raid mi went on so far, is coalition hiding. Maybe lats should raid for ashs! Afterall, burddah Rex blah’s “pinkiez breed like rabbitz” So there should be no numba issue! Please start raiding agh klomping us Coalition. Agh throw some kubbies into the roster for mi to klomp personally. _________________________________________________________________________ SINED, Thraaluk'Gorkil ob THE Gorkil Klan
  12. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Azh (XVI) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Dub (CLXII) D.A. ORC OF THE GRUB WEEK A Grubgoth for the Horde! The Grubgoth in Krugmar is nub only the keeper of the tavern, but also the steward of our rich culinary culture and refinement. Agh Cob'Lur the goblin recently took the position! What better choice for orc of the week? Ashst, congratulations on being Grubgoth! “Yub yub, this is exciting news, because I wasn’t sure myself until the rex said it. I have been trying to keep the orcs fed!” You have been working at the tavern for some time now, yes? Were you aiming to become Grubgoth? “I definitely love the honour of becoming Grubgoth. But mostly I find cooking for my brothers and sisters relaxing and it makes me happy!” “I also saw as a child that the tavern was closed. —Indeed, Cob is the first Grubgoth we have in decades, the last ash being Kor'Garr— I always wanted to work here and serve food!” Did someone teach you, or did you learn on your own? “I learned from my adoptive parents. My mother was Zkrap, agh mi’z popo waz Varn. I haven’t seen my blood-parents. They are most likely dead.” I understand you have been working on clan recipes... That Hungry Ungri was delicious! “Yes! I made something simple yet pleasing to represent the Ungris. Simple yet good orcs who have a big appetite.” She showed me a booklet with a dozen clan-related recipes planned ahead. “I have to introduce the vinteky stew sometime soon!” I will be looking forward to that. Is there anything you want to add, to blah the Horde perhaps? “I want to tell them that they are the best brothers and sisters I could ever hope for!” Recipe of the Hungry Ungri Cob was kind enough to share an exclusive recipe for her latest creation: the Hungry Ungry! Take a whole cow, agh clean its guts from both ends. Fill it with vegetables, most importantly garlic, onion agh hot peppers. You may also add carrots, mushrooms agh beans. For a fresh taste, add a few ripe fruits; apples agh pears add their sweet juices to the meat agh extra flavor. Slowly roast above a weak fire for an entire day. Then, eat it while it is still warm! FOREIGN GRUBBING Halfling Wizard Cheese Magnolia Fiddleberry, the halfling wizard, owns a wizard cheese shop, right next to the Dunfarthing cheese museum. She agreed to answer a few questions: So, please tell us more about this cheesemancing business... “I have been cheesemancing for about seventy years now. Of course, my cheese was good before I became a wizard. The magic isn’t what makes the cheese good. It’s what makes it wizard cheese.” She proudly explained: “yeah, I could stir the curds and press the whey and all that bad hand. But I can also do it with magic.” Agh were you taught magic? Or is that something you developed on your own? “Do you know of Barbog? He lived in Honeyhill since before I was born.” We discussed a bit about the great goblin philosopher— “Well, he taught me the start of magic. Then I spent a few years travelling. Hopping between libraries to read all the spellbooks I could find. Now I’ve written my own.” I see. How do you see this evolving in the coming years? “I’m planning to try a few things out based on some suggestions of cheese I got. Someone said to put chocolate in cheese. Heck yeah I’m gonna do that! And in terms of the wizard side, I’m working on a second spellbook for Kitchen Magic right now.” Do you have students, or would you like to? “I’m not the best teacher myself. Not really anything I could teach them beyond advice, which they can ask me for anyways.” “But I did make my basement a bit of a public magicking space for Dunfarthing. So there will be my spellbooks for anyone to learn from there, alongside a lil’ library of magic.” That sounds great indeed. Any closing words for our readers? “Smoke pipe, life y’ life. Respect t’ frogs. Eat a toastie. And above all: Stay wizardin’.” GRUBING CULTURE Da Ultimate Grubber Deep within the Ungri Clan halls, lives a spirit like no other. To my knowledge, the Maw is the only spirit who permanently dwells in the mortal plane, right beneath Krugmar. It resembles a massive beast-worm buried in the ground, its mouth gaping, waiting to be fed. Looking below from the plank which has been set up for this purpose, ash can see row after row of sharp teeth growing from the sides of its endless throat; a cavity which goes so far deep down into the earth that the bottom cannot be seen. That is the Maw, the father of ologs, the spirit which the Ungris worship. "Our god is cruel, our god is mighty, our god will consume the mortal plane should we fail it." the Ungri wargoth, Drekür'Ungri blahd me. Even —agh perhaps especially— to the Ungris, the Maw represents a great menace, for they know "the consequences of not delivering the Maw what it deserves". Indeed, in the past the Maw has already unleashed its wrath on descendants. It was in the times of Athera. Back then, "even Ologs knew none of their father’s hunger", agh for this the Maw destroyed Athera. The Maw munching Athera With a few terrible bites, the entire continent was consumed; those who foolishly fought were eaten, those who fled escaped only to live their last days in fear of the great beast. The Ologs heard the Maw's voice agh worshipped it, fed it with all they could gather. Agh so far, it seems they have indeed been able to keep its appetite and anger at bay. "This is why we serve him! This is why we venerate and feed it." Drekür further explained— "Because the realm remains ignorant, remains filled with hubris, without the Ungri the maw would punish once again. But next time his sacred bites shall be absolute, world-ending." "The world sees us as mindless brutes… but we are zealous servants of the realms existence." Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  13. Klan Vukh Joins the Horde History of the Vukh Vinteki Exodus During the exodus from Vinteki, Gundanat decided to go his own way, clanless and alone, exploring the desert for his inspiration. While Apex and Klog joined different clans, Gundanat sat alone on the mountain top, imagining a clan, strong in its ideals of uniting all races, while still respecting their own orc laws and traditions, imagining a clan which incorporates humans, elves, orcs and even dwarves into one singular clan. “Why hasn’t anyone else tried this before” as he stood up towards the exit, ideas flowing in his head Formation of the Clan Gundanat went to work within the cave he was settled in, writing down laws, ideas and the trial itself, saddling the horse and travelling to Gorom to discuss these new ideas, having lessons on races, trial by combat between races, tournaments for honour and proper organisation in the clan. The two conserves all night, taking drinks at the bar while drunkenly discussing their ideas, both agreeing to create the clan The Basics of Clan Vukh The clan was created by Gundanat, a former member of Vinteki and a loyalist to the Rex, Grommash. Once taking the Oath of Loyalty you are unable to leave unless you get special permissions from the leader or clan or be treated as a traitor and hunted down for such. The Vukhs owe their loyalty towards the nation, the Rex, and any Orc who needs help in a task which will benefit the nation The Vukh people emerged from the Vinteki clan, which was a combination of captured prisoners and native orcs who lived under Kazin'Kul. All clan members will be used to society's lawless demands due to being created in a time of war and conflict. There are little to no present shamans within the clan which isn't a concern for the Wargoth. Hierarchy of Clan Vukh Wargoth Waghgoth (War leader – Duellable position) Soldier Clan Member Initiate Clan Vukh Initiation Trials Trial 1 - Take an honour battle (Hur’Mauk) with someone of another culture or one of your own, battle to the first one to go down to the floor. (CRP). Both players must fight fairly and without any cheap tactics. Trial 2 – Take a lesson about Orc culture with a Mau’Kor (Historian) or a Brudda (Orc) who is willing to, or if you are an orc, a lesson about another culture. Trial 3 – Take the Oath of Loyalty within the clan hall, swearing to the banner and Rex. Values of the Vukhim I. Accepts all races as one own. II. Take pride in defending the nation. III. Die for the banner of the clan and the nation. IV. Respect other clans Rituals and if needed, take part. Clan Uniform First Blow of Vukhim Gundanat and Gorom travelled to Hohkmat in the cover of the night, taking a hidden entrance into the city as they made way into the Chamber of Water, silently opening the door, looking around somewhat disappointed. A small chuckle came from Gundanat as he went on to speak “This place is so small for containing something so big… I’m surprised they didn’t make it less obvious or have more security” Gundanat muttered to his partner in crime. “Stuzid Pinkies” Gorom responded, simple but effective in describing the failure of the town. The elevator creaked, letting out an echoing and daunting sound into the streets as they made their way to the top, seeing the Mana Obelisk, towering over them. 20 meters long. “Zaahkah Zkah!” They both exclaimed at the same time, seeing the Obelisk, but both began to slash away at it, hitting it repeatedly until it exploded. Sending bits all over the floor as they left a sign. “Leave the war while you still can” Both nodded towards each other as they went back down, leaving the room in total chaos and disarray, exiting through the main gate to the disbelief of both. “Som nevur lurn do they’z?” Gundant mentioned, saddling onto the horses as they rode into the darkness.
  14. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H (XV) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Azh (CLXI) D.A. ORC POLITICS Another Klamor After a few cactus weeks, the Horde gathered ashs more for a Klamor! Rex Grommash opened the meeting to hold a discussion on the clans. It was quickly decided that clans would be acknowledged by the horde if they have a wargoth [leader] plus gakh members. Clans will now be divided into greater agh lesser clans; greaters clans being those with more than ashty members. The wargoths will also be able to collectively give the title of greater clan to those they think deserve it; specifically older clans devoted to the kubs of Krug. There were also debates on the future of clans Vinteki agh Gorkil; indeed, the dub have very similar values, agh Azfrai’Lur specifically voiced concerns about the young Vinteki clan throwing shade on the older Gorkil clan. There were also blahs of merging the dub, but no resolution was found since the Rex has no say in those decisions. The next topic discussed was that of the Kubrex. Grommash expressed concerns of what might happen if he were to die prematurely —which tends to happen during waghtik. Many voices called for Kho'Gorkil the Dominus, or Madoc'Lur the Motsham to inherit the throne if the Rex were to die. Both refused however, since they weren't keen on holding the position. More will be discussed during next Klamor. Minto'Lur, Rukagoth [treasurer] of the Horde then spoke on the war efforts: "Most of the clans have been doing good work with grinding and donating, but we still need more help." He encouraged all to keep working hard, agh warned that the Horde is still not fully preserved from shortages. Again, Grommash ended the Klamor with a blah of Orcgrimmar. "After Orcgrimmar is built, new clans will need to come to the Klamor with their Leader agh gakh members to become official clans." he explained, as had been decided earlier. FOREIGN AFFAIRS A Queen for Balian With King Adrian I's recent passing, Balian will see a new ruler: Queen Sybille I will be crowned next cactus day on the Grand Harvest. Spuds interviewed her, agh she agreed to blah a bit more for the readers of the Kaktuz Weekli. When will your coronation be? And along with that will there be any special measures taken due to the war? “It shall be on the next Grand Harvest.” She confirmed the preparation of security measures, but could obviously not give us any details. What is your stance on the war waged by the Covenant? “My stance is the same as my father’s; after all it was I who was kidnapped, beginning the domino fall that led to the war.” Do you have major plans as a queen? “Ai, a bona few. I have nobility reforms drafted." she explained, "I also wish for the knights of the nation to be under a new management to ensure that chivalry in Balian holds strong.” I understand many of your knights are templars? “Ai, I'm close to many... I have given them land so they might build a monastery to host a Templar order. I would be remiss to say I don’t support their efforts against the dark of the continent.” Anything you want to add? “Ai. Several treat Balian as some sort of successor to Oren. We are not: the Balianese people are their own people with their own culture separate from that of the Orenian Predecessors.” she said. “What makes us different is that our forefathers were run out of Oren by the very people who call us Orenian. They are the ones who fought for their Oren, we founded a new home in the south.” ORCISH CULTURE The Stargush’Stroh The Stargush'Stroh is a central pillar of the orcish culture; it is, for many, what gives a sense agh purpose to our lives. The Stargush’Stroh is a place somewhere among the stars where ash may go if they have lived a great life —which to us already eliminates those who do not live in orcish ways or, even worse, meddle with the darkspawn agh voidal mages. Kor, spirit of the Dead Upon death, the soul leaves the body, agh the life lived is judged by Kor, the Immortal Spirit of the Dead agh Afterlife. If they deem the life honorable, they may enter the Stargush'Stroh agh stay eternally among the greatest orcs. In spite of what many globbish non-orcs might think, orkish honor is not about winning waghs and killing people; killing the weak is a sign of weakness agh covers ash with dishonor. Agh fighting against a stronger enemy is a mark of courage. Above all, inspiring others agh being diligent in the way of the spirits will draw their respect; many who seek to enter the Stargush'Stroh will try to be remembered as a vessel for the spirits in the mortal plane, agh spread the ways of ash or a few select spirits. Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  15. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’Futh (XIV) — Ash’Kint’H’Ash’ty (CLX) D.A. ON KRUGSMAS The cold season is back As the snow silently falls on Aevos, the loud footsteps of war disappear into a thin echo; hidden under their thick white coats, every land, every city gets ready for the great festivities of the end of cactus-year… yes, Krugsmas is back! Krugsmas is a time for celebration across all of Aevos, where descendents are no longer judged by what nation they belong to, which side of the battlefield they stand on, for there are no more battlefields. Wars are paused, grudges erased agh peace brings people together. Usually, a great fir is erected in the centre of cities, so that people may leave gifts under them. For this purpose, people can usually visit cities… Warmongering territories are even expected to let their enemies in for Krugsmas —provided they come with gifts! Great fires are also often lit, agh all children gather around the fire to listen to stories told by the elders. Agh of course, Krugsmas is a season for fiesting agh praising Betharuz. Cookies, cakes, as well as turkeys agh roasts are often prepared to keep the hearts warm in the cold! We have enjoyed the celebrations so far— Agh can’t wait to see the rest of what people have planned this cactus year! KRUGSMAS ACROSS AEVOS Varied Celebrations But then again, each nation has their own ways of celebrating Krugsmas. In Krugmar, Krugsmas is when Popo Krugsmas visits orcs to give them gifts! This year, I also had the pleasure of learning of a rather new, blossoming tradition: Musmas! In the musin village of Babblebrook, the townsfolk are gathering to spend time together; cookies were exchanged, agh we enjoyed the company of friends agh family. Then we were invited to the outskirts of the village, where Sir Spuds had prepared sleds! We were lucky to have perfect weather: after a short heavy rain which left the grass wet agh muddy, the sky cleared up for some perfect sledding! I even got to see flying halflings! What does Krugsmas mean to you? But certainly the best way to celebrate Krugsmas is to share great moments with people! So the Kaktuz Weekli decided to ask the citizens of Aevos what Krugsmas means to them! First, what came up often is peace! Though I unfortunately have to admit that the Iron Horde has not kept its bloodlust tame, many among the Orcs were against the recent brutal events; "Orcs should not go raiding at this period, they should go and ejnoy this lovely season, spread love in the city, and show that we’re much more than the brutes humans and elves think we are!" — ash called. In Veletz, agh Nor-Velyath too, we heard that Krugsmas was "a great relief, even with war" agh wishes that "the war had been over before the holidays” Then of course, the gifts! "The act of giving in charity is an opposition to greed, a rot that plagues them!" a friend told me in Norland. "Everyone is freaking out preparing their trees, cookies and gifts!" — another voice cheered. Children were perhaps the most excited: "My daughters are really excited! I think this year will be good, despite the wars!" — "To me, it means very little— but it’s great for children! They get really excited by all the festivities and gifts, I love seeing their smiles!" another friend told me in Sulianpoli. Agh last but not least, pretty much everyash talked of the people they were going to meet again! For orcs, "it’s the days where all the clans finally gather and have some wholesome time" agh share "they lovely human and elf stew, stories and whatnot…" A Veletz citizen put it this way; "I love Krugsmas. To me it means family and friends more often than not." agh similarly in Celia’Nor agh Nor-Velyath we heard; "I’m really excited to spend time with my family!" — "Best thing about it is the people who you meet during that time." A sorvian told me also: "I will celebrate Krugsmas with a few other of my kind. I enjoy the look on people’s faces when they receive something. It is, well… Awesome." What more could we say? KRUGSMAS STORY Uggzak’s Big Red Scarf Uggzak’s favourite season had always been Krugsmas. Every H’ty years, the great cold wind swept over the world, covering hills agh cities in snow, agh the orcs would rejoice, spend tik together, play in the snow agh wait for Krug’s coming. Uggzak had a big red scarf. She got it from Krug himself on her ashst Krugsmas, agh ever since then, she kept it in her blargttic. Agh every Krugsmas season, she wrapped herself in the fuzzy cloth to keep her warm when she played in the cold snow. She enjoyed snowball klomps, snowblarging, agh most importantly snowrk-building. Every year she would make ash, giving it sticks for arms, agh pebbles for peepers. Ash day, as the snowy clouds slowly made their way across the skies, Uggzak went to her blargttic only to find that her scarf had vanished! She looked through every room of her blarg, every chest, every nook agh cranny… but the big red scarf was nubwhere to be found. When she tried going outside, it was so cold! She decided to spend the Krugsmas tik inside, agh knit a new scarf for herself. She spent days, weeks, months knitting the scarf; for it was a very big ash! Every now and then, she looked outside her window; snow was piling up, goblins were snowball-klomping… But she had not built a snowrk yet. When she was done knitting her scarf, it was already Krugsmas eve agh very late, so she decided to wait for the next morning. So on Krugsmas morning she wore her new scarf, agh when she opened her door… What a surprise! She found all her previous snowrks waiting for her. They were all sharing her old red scarf, agh it had made them come to life! Since that Krugsmas, Uggzak has a favourite day: Krugsmas day. She prepares a new scarf before the cold season, agh builds a new snowrk as soon as the ashst snow falls. She gives the new snowrk her scarf agh, on Krugsmas morning, her snowrks come to life so they can play together all day. To cover more news— agh do it better, the Kaktuz Weekli’s publishing team has grown! Please welcome our new informant, Spuds! Informant — Spuds Writer — Gharak’Yar Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  16. Ob Honor agh Dizhonor This letter is spread across the realms of Aevos as hurriedly as a humble Scholar could write for all to be informed! Tu da dizhonorable ob da Iron Uzg, How dare latz sully da proud legacy ob our anceztor Krug, for mi have heard from friendz ob da Kanondom that not only latz joined da wagh on da zide ob Adria, da League ob Veletz for da azhs that would cry rivers ob tears for zuch an atrocity mi hab committed, but tu join forces in da wagh wyth burrzspawn that wi would flat on da spot. Da Uzg has dizhonored Krug’z legacy by breaking bread wyth Iblees’z ilk agh vermin. Mi hab alzo gotten a letter from a dear friend ob mi late lyfemate agh eternal love Scrap, may she rest in da Seven Skies, about Uruk kidnapping hundreds or even thouzandz ob da citizenz ob Hyspia, nub juzt da men but da women agh kubz agh having them klomp each other to death! Wi da Decendentz ob Krug do nub wish harm to come to any kubz Uruk or nub! ZHAME on da Uzg agh ZHAME on da Rex for letting zuch atrocities happen under latz watch! IF Krug were styll ob da mortal plane, he would leave Adria agh da dizhonorable Uruk, Gobboz, agh Ologz ob da Burrz Uzg nub-thing but red on da continent ob Aevos for da Horde haz decided to embrace da curze that da Deceiver, Iblees, branded Krug agh hiz descendentz wyth! ZHAME ON DA UZG AGH ZHAME ON DA REX FOR THEIR SINZ ZO MANY! Signed, Varn'Gorkil, The Scholar (An Artist's depiction of the Uruk Scholar)
  17. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’Gakh (XIII) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’FUTH (CLIX) D.A. ORC POLITICS A New Clan in Krugmar In the holy deserts near San’Brîu, the endless caves still bear secrets that —it seems— only time will reveal to us. Ash of these secrets was the unexpected existence of an entire community of orcs agh former snagas [slaves; it is assumed that all former slaves are now honorary orcs] lurking, klomping, thriving in the deep caves below the now fallen Kazin’Kul Clan’s halls. But the goblins among them were curious, agh with Krug’s blood running through their hearts they found the courage to find the surface, agh so the Vinteki learned of our existence agh we of theirs. Upon hearing the Yar horn calling them to wagh, the Vinteki Clan fully surfaced to join the Iron Horde for the great future which awaits us. The Vinteki Clan, currently strong of roughly dub’ty [twenty] members, is said to soon grow with dozens more emerging from the innards of the desert. From their war-focused culture they formed a structured hierarchy; their wargoth Kezmur’Vinteki has dub lesser wargoths; Gazdul’Vinteki agh Klog’Vinteki — and I was able to meet the latter. “Yes, we are focused on wagh—” he blah’d me. “agh thus besides Krug we only worship Enrohk” he explained. Indeed, their clan culture seems focused on being “the very best at wagh”. Still, orcs from their clan who have been engaging with the rest of the Horde were seen tending to other shrines agh praising all great ancestors; as is the orcish way. A Vinteki Targoth Ash of those Vinteki’s who immediately meddled themselves with the Iron Horde is Apek’Vinteki, who claimed the Targoth position after Grimruk’Lur decided to let others try their hands at leading the Krug-hai [orcish military]. The new Targoth made his intentions clear; “I want to improve the orcs as a nation, especially military-wise—” agh blahing of the Covenant agh their allies; “—agh ZKAH on dem in this wagh.” Concerns were raised with Apek being a new member to the Iron Horde, agh indeed very young— to which he replied; “I have a lot of experience klomping, leading waghs— from duels agh banditism.” Of course, those who still feel like he is unworthy are welcome to take away his responsibilities after a klomp for his position. FOREIGN AFFAIRS Celia’nor leaves The League Concerning the war which opposes the Covenant of Five agh its allies —frankly most of Aevos— against The League of Veletz agh their loyal orcish allies. After dub victories for the Covenant, many on Veletz’ side felt overwhelmed; the numbers of the Covenant’s armies as well as their devastating siege weapons have taken a great toll on League forces. Celia’nor, which has sided with Veletz to honour a pact, has found themselves unable to uphold their side of the alliance. On the First Seed of last Cactus Week [Friday], Princess Illyra backtracked on her decision to engage Celia’nor into the wagh. The decision takes place in a time of great turmoil for the young elven nation —Celia’nor was restored in ash’kint’H’ty’gakh— ; agh the aforementioned Illyra has faced a strong illness which made her unable to rule. Though the succession is not yet established, I could blah with the current leader agh heir to the throne, Illthrak Ibarellan. “Of course I do not like the decision to leave this alliance. But my Haelun had to make a choice for the sake of our people. It still pains me to think about it.” he explained that they had no choice but to flee the wagh; “We really must ensure our people are safe: we were at the verge of total destruction! — And we had nothing to gain from this war. We were only dragged in because of a pact.” Though I would argue the glory of honouring a pact is always a gain worth countless bloodshed, it seems elves have different morals— agh I can only condone the will to defend ash’s own people. ORCISH CULTURE Spiritualism beyond Krugmar Spiritualism is often associated with orcs— agh indeed, it is a pillar of orcish culture. Yet, it is not exclusive to our glorious nation. Many elves also worship the spirits, agh the members of the shamanic Lodge were recently invited to a blahference hosted by the elven elder shaman, Ember; “As Farseer, as a speaker of our spirits, I deliver a small message, an advice, or maybe a lesson to those who come with doubts of the spirits.” she began. “Myself, and I’m sure many of you have experienced the fury of the spirits. Though we understand it, many argue that the spirits must be evil tyrants, and that no benevolent deities would endanger their own followers and practitioners” — “And in their perspective, they are probably correct; what would you say of rulers if you saw only their fury, pride and egocentrism? They would be tyrants and evil-doers in your eyes, and you would be right.” “This is what this sermon is about; Perspective.” She paused for a moment. “As a shaman, I have endured many methods in which the spirits punish, teach, and bless us. Every spirit —and every shaman— has their unique method, no two being the same.” — “To us, the spirits are no tyrants, for we have faith in what they give and what they take. But as farseers —and shamans— it is our duty to show the confused and sceptical that spirits, like what they think of their gods, are good deities; by giving praise to them they may treasure us with their blessings.” — “But no blessing comes free and —shaman or not— it starts with seeing the spirits in the right light, in the right perspective.” “I hope this talk convinced you that perspective means all.” she concluded. “I hope that with this in mind you may change your perspectives too, to better learn of the spirits, their stories and their blessings.” [A paragraph protrudes from the usual formatting, as if hastily added onto the last article] Though this is probably unrelated to Ember’s blah, I was informed that former Azulyte shamans —who were absent at the blahference— have turned their backs against the spirits to worship (possibly) the Dread Primarch. The situation is still uncertain, but azh thing is clear; they abandoned, insulted, betrayed the spirits, agh for that they must die. Do not expect updates on this from the Kaktuz Weekli, for the Lodge will surely quickly deal with those fools.
  18. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’Dub (XII) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’Gakh (CLVIII) D.A. FOREIGN AFFAIRS The War Continues A continuation of last cactus week’s events, where war tore the human nations. The Covenant of Five, comprised of Haense, Balian, Hyspia, Petra and Urguan attacked The League of Veletz as retaliation after the assassination of Aaun’s King by Veletz’s vassal city, Stassion. The battle in Veletz happened on the Sun’Smile. The Covenant rallied its armies, as well as its Vassals and allies; thus did Aaun, Norland and Numendil join them. Thousands rallied in a camp next to Breakwater keep, and readied their weapons. Numbers were not in favor of The League of Veletz, and they could only rely on their walls to aid them in this battle. But those walls did not last long, for the Covenant had brought plenty of siege weapons, trebuchets and canons. Artillery tore through the keep’s defences, and after breaching the walls in several areas, the attackers entered the city to engage the League in close combat. After a relentless fight, the Covenant prevailed and Breakwater keep fell to their hands. With this victory secured, the Covenant and their allies prepared for more bloodshed. It seems like they will be attacking again on the Grand Harvest. ORC OF THE WEEK Minto’Lur, the Shortest, and Greatest Orc Those who roam Krugmar are surely familiar with the great Minto’Lur. But to those who have not met the halfling-looking Orc, let me introduce you to one of the best— if not the best of us. Halflings are not those people would most expect to become honoraries. Could you tell us more on how you came to join the Iron Horde? “Yub! A while ago, I was banished from Elven lands over dumb elven zkah.” He explained. “In order to avoid buurz and the void, I came to the only people devoid of it; the Orcs. The Rex at the time promised to keep me protected so I have been here ever since. Lately I am working on improving McMintoes! Have you seen the new McRibs?” No, not yet— So you became a honorary orc. I am sure you inspire many who wish to walk your path; do you have any advice for them? “Well… I advice any future honorary that they eat plenty at McMintos’.” he declared. “A proud LUR owned business! We just got in our new speciality item: The McRibs!” I am sure they will enjoy it indeed. And you also joined clan Lur, could you tell us more about that? “So I love all things animals. Taming them, hunting them, all of it, yes. Lur was an easy choice to make in this aspect, as I am the best tamer in the city.” And, to prove his point, he showed me all the animals he was carrying; two caterpillars, a hermit crab and a pair of hamsters, as well as a beetle taller than himself. “I am the king of Hamsters!” he proudly announced, adding: “And this is just what I carry on myself!” Minto Showing off some great beasts he captured and tamed. Now, about your business. How’s McMintoes doing? Will you reveal to us the recipes that make your food so delicious? Is it orcish recipes, or do you use Halfling cooking methods? “Well, business is booming! A proud LUR owned business!” — “As for the recipes, I’ll say what it is definitely not made up of. It is definitely NOT made of elves who disrespected orcs, and most definitely NOT made of humans who spoke the Blah.” [Speaking Blah as a non-orc is an offense on the spirits] “To find the real secrets of McMintos food you would need to work there. Well, we are looking for an unpaid, overworked intern, yep! Also, try the new McRibs!” We have discussed this before, I unfortunately do not have the time to be an overworked intern. Is there anything else you’d like to tell our readers? “Yes! Lur on top! Try the new McRibs at McMintos! Farm Leather for the Horde, and donate it! For the Waghclaim!” — in typical orcish fashion. ON THE KAKTUZ It has come to my attention that some of those described as Kings in last week’s issue, —namely Heinrich II Lothar, and Frederick Aurelian— were not kings, but regents. I am unsure what this precisely means, or what the use of it is. I’d say if they rule, they are the ruler, and thus the King. Humans put too much effort into making fancy names for simple things. As mentioned in the previous issue, we are looking for informants for the Kaktuz Weekli. Some great people have contacted us, and, dear readers, we can’t wait to introduce them to you! More will be revealed in the next publications. Due to Krugsmas season approaching, the Kaktuz Weekli may see delay in future publications; fear not! We will try to publish at least once every other cactus week. As always, thank you for your support!
  19. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’Azh (XI) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’Dub (CLVII) D.A. ORC POLITICS Klamor for a New Government A new Rex rose on the Throne. After challenging Grubnahk to a klomp [traditional fight] and winning the duel, a young orc took the previous Rex’s last breath— and with it the throne of the Iron Horde. Krugmar is now ruled by Grommash, and with the new leader many familiar faces came back to San’Brîu. The city has been bustling with life, and to ensure that he had the orcish population’s full support, Grommash immediately summoned a Klamor [public assembly]. The Klamor started with a short speech from the leader: “Today, I speak to the horde, to tell its future, and hear the mind of the people. I have a dream. I dreamt many nights of a strong horde, with great shamans and good orcs. But the horde is not the work of one orc; it belongs to each of us.” He then called forth contenders for the duties of Dominus, Targoth, Motsham. After two great klomps, where Kho’Gorkil won against Grothzark’Dom, and Grimruk’Lur defeated Himdokh, the new Orc Government was settled. The new Orcish Government (from left to right): the Rex, his right hand, the military leader and the spiritual guide Vassals were asked to reaffirm their allegiances, which they did; the Duchy of Redclyf-Rozania, Sulianpoli and the Alurians vowed to provide warriors and minae for the Horde’s protection. Two more matters were discussed; first on what to do in regards to Zkorkon’Ugluk the Inferi. While orcs never allow demons to roam their lands, Zkorkon has shown efforts to reform. The possibility that Shamanism might let us cure him also justified keeping him alive. The Rex spoke, and it was decided that until more research be conducted, Zkorkon would not be hunted down. Next, the right to klomp the Rex was discussed. It is indeed what has caused the Iron Horde to fall prey to Grubnakh’s inexperienced hands in recent history. So, after careful weighing of pros and cons, the following was decided. No vote would be held, but only those who hold a position of authority in the Orcish Government shall claim the Rex’s Throne. Positions of authority are the Dominus, the Targoth, and the Wargoths [leaders] of acknowledged clans —that is to say, a clan with at least 3 members present at Klamors. As a conclusion, Grommash announced that a great project would be started; with the help of the Ruka [artisans and builders], a new orcish capital will rise! San’Brîu will be demolished to make room for Orcgrimmar! FOREIGN AFFAIRS War on Aevos The human Kingdoms have seldom been so divided. Accusations of sin and heresy, murder and regicide, treason and murder have been thrown over and over again during the last cactus week. Though very entertaining, this mangled web of denunciations and the sheer number of parties involved has made seeking facts and true causes of the war difficult. The unrest between human nations and cities is not new; tensions rose each time a new alliance was created, threatening those outside it, tensions rose too when one city became vassal to a nation, changing once more its allegiance. As often, many people were surely waiting for an opportunity to turn the bickering into a full war. The opportunity came on the Sun’s Smile last cactus week; multiple leaders met to find an agreement that would satisfy all and maintain peace. This is when Frederick Aurelian, ruler of Stassion, decided to murder Aaun’s King Heinrich II Lothar, under whom he was a vassal. The cause for this act remains unclear. Frederick Aurelian did leave a letter to take full blame —even rejoicing— of this successful regicide and claim that he did a great service to the kingdom of Aaun; but this letter might be full of lies to protect his children and the people of Stassion he left behind in his run. But a king does not die without a bloodbath, and indeed many knights of Stassion were killed when other vassals of Aaun arrived and learned of the betrayal. Only one nation joined Stassion; many in Veletz saw the assassination as a welcome revenge, for they did not see Aaun’s alliances with their enemy Balian as a good omen. The League of Veletz also had religious quarrels with the rest of the canonist world as many in Veletz have been excommunicated from the Church of Canon —to which they responded… by burning a church. Both sides called upon their allies. Haense formed the Covenant of Five, uniting Haense, Balian, Petra, Urguan and Hyspia and vowed to destroy Veletz. The Leage of Veletz called upon Stassion, Celia’nor and Krugmar to join them, and both sides have been getting ready for a large assault, sometime in the next cactus days. The Covenant of Five (from left to right), leaders of: Haense, Balian, Hyspia, Petra and Urguan. The portraits of Aleksandr II and Adrian may be inaccurate; they were done by goblin trainees ORCISH CULTURE On the Motsham The horde has a new Motsham… but what is a Motsham? Madoc’Lur was kind enough to give us an interview, so he may explain his role to those unfamiliar with Spiritualism and Shamanic Culture. How would you describe the Motsham to non-spiritualists? “The Motzham is the spiritual leader of the shamans. In human terms, it might be like the shaman pontiff. But the Motsham's main duty is to ensure that the will of the spirits is followed and that the shamans aren’t corrupted by buurz.” —That is to say, darkness, or sin. During the Klamor, you have advocated for Skorkon the Inferi to be kept among us. Is he not buurz himself? “Yes, but Buurz can be cured with enough research. Shamanism can already cure vampires and voidal mages by visiting the realm of Scorthuz or receiving his blessing. However, certain areas have not been researched enough. I am a strong believer that with enough dedication we will be able to cure even the more severely afflicted like Skorkon.” “Orcs, honoraries, vassals of the Iron Horde as well as Shamans that belong to the Lodge —the Shamanic institute he has vowed to create— will be offered a cure and one chance to repent and correct their ways. If they refuse, then they will be killed. The shamans who are not part of the Lodge will not receive such second chances.” What will you, personally, do as the Motsham, beyond regular Motsham duties? “The main thing is that all buurs will be purged on sight. Simple as that. Should a shaman ever be turned against the spirits and become buurs or openily associate with buurs, they will be trialed and executed. Then there will also be regular darkspawn tests before every large shaman meetings to weed out the darkspawn snakes.” He also talked of his plans; “I am also overseeing the construction of the Lodge. But first, the shaman codes will be written to serve as a guiding principle for all lodge shamans. My goal will also be to make shamanism great again, because the previous Motshams either failed their duties by serving only their interests or were openly associating with buurz.” What are the relations between the Motsham and the Rex, with the political powers? “The Motsham should be in charge of spiritualism and the education of non believers in such. There is really no link with politics, since those are two different fields and as a former Dominus, I do not intend to get into politics again. It’s really a pain in the ass!” It is true that Motshams hold no power beyond that on guidance of the Shamans, but it should be noted that they often —and this has been the case during last Klamor— serve as an advisory to the Rex, a moral compass for fair and wise decisions. ON THE KAKTUZ The Kaktuz Weekli would like to welcome the National Elven News Association to Aevos! It is always great to see others go through the effort of gathering unseen information, hidden truths and bring them to the people. We will be reading your publications with great interest. The Kaktuz is also looking for fixers; people (ideally from outside of Krugmar) who will keep an eye on local news and inform of important events, or help investigations either by bringing their own stories, or by pointing to the right people for trustworthy information. Please get in touch with Gharak for these matters. We will also reinstate the subscription system that Kor’Garr had put in place. So, if you wish to have the Kaktuz Delivered right to your doorstep, please contact us. Thank you for reading! Yargoth Gharak
  20. Gharak’Yar was working as usual in the library. A transcription from old, tattered scrolls on spiritual worship. “Guidanze… Guidanze frum dy anzeztorz…” She muttered something, carefully laying words in a new book. “Mi kud uze zome tuu… Ah zign ov zortz…” She paused, pulling back to stretch her spine, and glanced over at the great portrait of Barbog which, as always, was watching over the library with his warm gaze. He winked. Gharak froze. Did the mural just wink at her? She had not taken any cactus green in at least a few hours, nor was she sleep-deprived. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and understood. The large door opened with a loud rumble, the old mechanism grinding the roots which had grown between its heavy stone cogs. She was met with the warmth and humidity of a tropical biome. The Yar clan hall was dimly lit. Here and there, glowing flowers were dangling from the irregular ceiling. Even through the murkiness, it was obvious; Freygoth had claimed this cave which had gone unused for too long. Moss was creeping around large puddles on the ground, vines were climbing all the way up to the ceiling where they formed a mesh of green garlands. On the walls, vegetation was hiding both the cold stone and the bone pillars of the cave, the dark green hues only broken up where lonely mushrooms delineated red and orange patches. She found what she had come for; at the center of the cave there was a large pond of blood, and in the middle of this pond a crimson island of ground bones and bloody remains, and on it a great tree of skulls, bones and bloody flesh branches. The altar was under the tree, waiting, beckoning for her. She stopped before stepping on the large beast spine which served as a bridge to the island. She brought her pan flute to her lips, under her skull mask; and she started playing a soft, sorrowful melody. The notes echoed, bouncing on lush walls, filling the network of caves, bringing a new breath, a new life to the place. When she stopped, the music lingered some more, and only after a while the cave fell back into silence. Tw: Arachnophobia So Gharak’Yar called upon the spirits. Frûmob Stargûsh! Zûrul! Ghûlum Dûglab Rakdâgtuk! Pukhlubizg baiarkizubûr, largizushu durbûrz. Pulling out a knife, she cut her palm, and fed the altar with her blood; she let her blood mix into the crimson soil, and into the pond below to join the blood of her ancestors, and vowed: Narzigub nargimbalk lat. And so, confident that she had gotten the blessing of her ancestors, she wrote missives to her fellow members of clan Yar. <<<D From the day my kub self found herself in the Library of Theruz, back in San’Velku, the Yar clan has been my family, educating me, strengthening my knowledge and will. I have learned and received so much from this clan, and though I may never be as wise as Lûp-Yar, I think it is my turn to give. Following the turmoil of the past cactus weeks, it seems like the Iron Ugz is headed for a new era of klomps agh wagh; the spirits have filled our hearts with thirst for blood and conquest. Our clan always had the great role of shepherding our brothers and sisters towards honor, towards greater balance and worship of the spirits. And just like how we have always done, I wish to guide our brothers in this quest for our great destiny. I hereby claim the role of Yargoth, letting Zag’Yar get some well-deserved rest. May any Yar feel free to challenge me if they don’t see me fit, either by a Klomp or a challenge of wit or wisdom. I will be waiting for them. And great times will be waiting for us all. <(O)> \o/ Yargoth Gharak
  21. THE KRUG'HAI “GLORY TO THE HORDE, GLORY TO KRUG’S PEOPLE!” THE TOP RANKS REX Grommash The Rex is the supreme leader of the Horde and the Krug’hai alike. TARGOTH Grimruk’Lur The most Targoths there have been in Orcish history have been two. These orcs are in charge of the Krug’hai and answer to the Rex specifically. Their responsibility is to ensure that every orc is fit to fight and that every orc is trained properly. KESHIG [REDACTED] Though not led by the Targoth, the Keshig are members of the Krug’hai respectively. They are supreme bodyguards that form a protective vanguard for the Rex himself, and answer to him only. These orcs are in charge of special operations, escorts and overall protective duties for the Rex. WAGHBOSS Himdokh'Azog, Udecc'Yar, Kho'Gorkil, Mohg'Mog The Waghbosses are in charge of setting up training, aiding in the Targoths endeavors, and are fit enough to lead battalions into battle. These orcs are tasked with recruitment and making sure honor is held up within the ranks of the Krug’hai. These orcs are chosen by the Targoth and have the right to punish others for disobedience. THE LESSER RANKS NOBZ (30 pts.) “FLATZ ‘EM ALL!” The ‘Nobz’ are the top warriors within the lesser ranks. They have proven themselves through battle and are veterans within the Krug’hai. They are in charge of helping the Waghbosses when required to. They also have the right to ask the Targoth about becoming a Waghboss and to punish those for disobedience. GRUNTS (15 pts.) “ANG GUND GRIIZH!” No longer are these Orcs the meat shields of the Krughai, for they have proven themselves to be honorable warriors. The Grunts of the Krug’hai form the standard infantry, cavalry, and so on. RUNTS (0 pts.) “GYET AT ‘EM!” Runtz are made up of the lesser kind, or they are new to the Krug’hai militia. These orcs have yet to prove themselves to be honorable orcish warriors and are sent into battle as meatshields to prove themselves. ON PROMOTION To be promoted in the Krug'hai, a person has to either be an honorary, on the path to being one or be of Orcish descent. They too must prove their value in combat, earn points, or perform an outstanding act that will cause the Targoth to personally promote them. POINT SYSTEM To become a Waghboss, you must rise through the ranks, coming from a Runt, then to Nob, respectively. Only then will one be able to have the right to challenge a Waghboss into a Hur’Mauk. A trial will be held to be promoted after earning 15 points. WINNING OFFICIAL HUR’MAUK: 1 point(s) ATTENDED BATTLE: 2 point(s) PROVEN KILL : 3 point(s) KILL OF ENEMY LEADER: 5 point(s) THE CODES AND OATH THE OATH GIVEN TO GRUNTZ “MI HONOR WILL UPHOLD, MI MIGHT WILL NUB BE FORGOTTEN. MI GLORY WILL BE SPREAD, MI ACTIONS WILL NUB BE FORGIVEN. GLORY BE TO THE HORDE, GLORY BE TO KRUG’Z PEOPLE!” CODES: AZH (I) “SHOW HONOR AT ALL TIMES” DUB (II) “UPHOLD THE FAITH OF THE SPIRITS” GAKH (III) “MURDER OUTSIDE BATTLE IS HONORLESS” FUTH (IV) “PLUNDER BELONGS TO THE VICTOR” H’ (V) “RESPECT THOSE THAT HAVE EARNED IT” SIGNED, GRIMRUK’LUR WARGOTH OF CLAN LUR, TARGOTH OF THE IRON HORDE, AXE OF CLAN LUR, STEEL-WOLF OF CLAN LUR, GOTH OF SAN’YARROW, GOTH OB CASA DE LUR
  22. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty (X) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’ (CLV) D.A. ORC POLITICS A Great Party in Krugmar! After last cactus week’s Klamor, as nobody claimed Rex Grubnakh’Lak’s seat as their own, the new Ologarchy of the Iron Horde seems to be firmly in place. The Vassals have accepted the new leadership, and orcish delegations went to lesser cities to demand tribute, which they have received after threatening them of War. Mog’Mog, an Olog and long-time scribe for Grubnakh’Lak, has initiated diplomatic relations with Urguan. He invited the leader of the dwarves of Urguan, Grand King Garedyn, on The Deep Cold [tuesday] to discuss an alliance with the Iron Horde. The dwarven king came with gifts of metal to Mog’Mog, and after a short conversation, they agreed to have at least a defensive alliance. Mog’Mog, however, advocated for a “Full Military Alliance” which he says Rex Grubnakh calls for, in order to “make a statement of true unity between Urguan and the Iron Horde”. To those unfamiliar with ologs, it should be pointed out again that this behavior is not normal. Grubnakh and Mog are, as far as our records go, the first and only ologs to seemingly easily read, write, and even carry out strategic operations. This Iron Alliance —between Urguan and the Iron Horde— also raises the question of Urguan’s diplomatic relations, as they are already allied with Haense and Hyspia, and have a non-aggression pact with Nor’Asath. Though Mog’Mog admitted that not much could be done against the Iron Horde’s bloodlustful nature, he has accepted that further discussion be held regarding the raids which often target those nations. Because “military alliances need to be approved by the moot” under dwarven laws, Grand King Garedyn has vowed to “hold a meeting to discuss the full alliance” with the King’s Court on the Grand Harvest [sunday]. At the time of publication, this should be next cactus day. To ensure good diplomatic relations between orcs and dwarves, Mog’Mog has offered the following; to organize a big party in San’Brîu, right before the King’s Court. And so the preparations began, and all of Urguan, as well as anyone who wishes to see how Orcs party are invited! There will be lots of “beer, yes, and the strong stuff!” Mog’Mog proudly announced. One should also expect cactus green and all the fine drugs that Krugmar produces! FOREIGN AFFAIRS A New Pontiff for the Canonist Church The Pontiff Sixtus the fifth passed away about two cactus months ago, and the Canonist Church has had no replacement so far. But after careful deliberation, it seems the College of Cardinals —those who elect the Pontiff— have come to a decision and elected one of them, Father Arnaud as their new Pontiff. And so, Father Arnaud, born Arnaud Constantine Novellen, who is currently Archbishop of Albarosa, will soon be Pontiff, with a new name which currently remains undisclosed. The pontifical Coronation will be held this cactus day [Friday 17 Nov.] in the Temple of the Exalted Prophets of the Canon in Aaun. Father Arnaud has been kind enough to take the time to answer a few questions for the Kaktuz Weekli. Could you describe to our readers what the role of the Pontiff is? What duties do you have towards Canonists, and non-Canonists? “The Pontiff, —also known as High Pontiff— is the leader of our religion. You could say I will be the leader of our organization of priests. But the Pontiff is also the Vicar of God. It means I will represent God once I am officiated in my role.” — “To canonists it is essentially the personification of our faith and religion, and to non-canonists…” he paused. “I suppose one could say my duty is to try to convert them… or otherwise guide them morally.” What are your aspirations as the soon-to-be Pontiff? Do you wish to reform the Canonist Church, and in which ways? “I hope to be a unifying figure for the various canonist realms, as they has been trouble brewing and not every nation has been particularly happy with the Church’s diplomacy in recent years. I also wish to finish some of the projects that my predecessor started, like reforming our religious laws and the way the Church is run.” “I also wish to start great construction works to relocate the Holy See” —the capital of Canonism— “Currently, it is inadequate; it is small, not very providing… Founding a church state is not out of the question either.” What are your thoughts on Pontiff Sixtus V’s legacy? As you certainly know, he had vowed to improve the clergy’s teachings, and to spread the Canonist faith. And for a more personal question, what would you say are your dreams? “I believe that my predecessor, Sixtus the fifth, was a good Pontiff for the time he was around. Sadly, due to health issues, he was absent for most of his pontificate. But I share one of those dreams with him: I want to strengthen people’s faith.” “As a priest, people currently call me Father, and as High Pontiff I will be the Father of all of the Canonist world. As a father I will be kind and compassionate with my children, because I want to see them grow. But to help his children grow a father must also be strict sometimes. I’ve decided I am sick of part time believers, the kind that are devoted when they are in a church or with a priest, but who turn their back on God and do bad things when they think God can’t see them.” After a moment, he concluded; “My dream is to bring canonists from all nations together as one big family and to reinvigorate our church. For too long we have been stagnant, absent, withdrawn from the world and uninspiring. I want to be a Pontiff of action. I think a lot of our more devoted followers are quite ready for some action.” ORCISH CULTURE Greater Spirits: Meet Freygoth! Orcs are Spiritualists; this means we worship the spirits which inhabit, or represent various aspects of the material plane. An orc who has displayed exceptional virtue, or quality and dedication to an art can also become a spirit. Those ancestors who keep inspiring us become ancestral spirits and receive worship from those who wish to pursue their art. The spirits are of various types; those who represent elements are known as Greater Elemental Spirits, those who ascended —as described above— are Ancestral Spirits. Then, Greater and Lesser Immortal Spirits govern concepts or emotions. Today, we will focus on one of the Greater Immortal Spirits: Freygoth! Freygoth is the spirit of the Wild, Nature and Animals. She is often depicted as a caring nature with a motherly face. She is a Greater Immortal— meaning she has Lesser Immortals who serve her, much like Vassals to a Nation. Laklul, the spirit of swamps, is certainly the most widely known Lesser Immortal under Freygoth. However, worshippers of Laklul often despise Freygoth; they say that Laklul should be a Greater Immortal, and that Freygoth holds Laklul prisoner in the Lesser status. Worshippers of Freygoth value life and nature; unlike many spirits, sacrifices to Freygoth would certainly yield nothing but her rage. A more sensible approach is to dedicate ponds or parks to her name, restore or foster nature around her shrines, and, generally, caring for creatures around oneself.
  23. The following invitation has been nailed on the notice board at the entrance of San’Brîu. Sisters and brothers, children of Krug, servants of the spirits, With Grubnakh’Lak’s Rexhood, I have seen many of us rejoice, certain that the Iron Horde has once more fully embraced our traditions. I too welcome them back; the pursuit of honor and strength through glorious Klomps and Wagh warms my heart and Krug’s blood which runs through it. A depiction of orcs klomping in the San’Brîu tavern klomp-pit Yet I warn you that re-establishing the old laws of might —on its own— does very little to honor our ancestors. This simple accumulation of strength and feats of domination is nothing but misplaced pride if it remains ignorant of the guidance of the spirits. As Glurgz wrote, “klomping iz nub alwayz da way fir honur”. Rather, he explains, “Honur iz in da zpiritz”. Why am I bringing this up— you may ask. I found that in the name of the coming wars, a shrine to Drelthok has been desecrated and removed in their very own home, the silent district. This may have been fueled by a burst of bloodlust, or by ignorance of the balance which the shamans maintain between our patron spirits. Either way, it strips San’Brîu of yet another one of the already rare signs of the spiritualist faith we so eagerly claim to be ours. The desecrated Drelthok shrine — and a message left behind: “Da tik tu sleep am ovur! It am Wagh tik!” I will not follow the culprit in their mindless mistake; I do not wish to call wagh on my kind. Rather, I call for a resurrection. Where have our prayers, respectful offerings and zealous habits gone? How long has it been since you last sensed the sweet smell of corpses rotting on a Votar shrine, how long since you last saw incense rise from the altars of Firaza to dance in the wind? In the coming cactus days, I call for us to unite and reaffirm our trust in the guidance of the spirits, and show once more our unyielding devotion to them. Will you join me? Gharak’Yar, Skriptgoth of the Horde [OOC] Mini RP-Player Events
  24. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue H’Futh (IX) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’Futh (CLIV) D.A. INVESTIGATION: DESERT SHENANIGANS Meeting a new Civilisation Near the orcish lands of Krugmar, explorers from the horde have made a surprising discovery; an unmet civilization was hiding in the sands. Obok Metaldrinks, who has been part of most exploration parties, and dealing with these people for some time, arranged an opportunity for me to meet and discuss with them. And so I was led into a network of caves under a mountain, and there I was warmly greeted by the warriors of Hakesh and the Aeternum Automatons. Indeed, the civilization is of two races; the Hakeshites are human descendents while the automatons are centuries-old mechanical constructs. The Hakeshites came from the same lands as us, but after the various migrations, they found themselves separated from the bulk. From what I could recollect from the warden Ilakeer, they discovered Aevos shortly after leaving Arcas. For those unfamiliar with our history, we —the descendants— have gone through several great migrations due to cataclysmic events; the latest one had us flee from Almaris to Aevos after an invasion. But before settling on Almaris, our elders lived on Arcas. The migration from Arcas marked the beginning of the Second Age. As I discussed with the Elder Automaton, I was told they were created by an Elven inventor. They had, at first, nothing to do with the Hakeshite humans, only they joined these people to help them: for this is what the automatons have been designed to do. And so their cohabitation began, though it quickly devolved into an aggressive one. Cultural misunderstandings, unprompted and excessive help from the automatons and diverging positions among the Hakeshites created divides so harsh they led to massacres and the Elven Creator's death, after which many humans and automatons left to settle elsewhere.massacres Though they had lost nearly half their population, the remaining Hakeshites found this satisfactory —at first. Soon enough they would learn of what the others had been up to: in their attempt to create more automatons they had tainted their hands with the darkest magics, trying to brew up life to serve them, capturing and enslaving souls. The automatons who had accompanied the sinful humans would later be known as the Kinslayers, for obvious reasons. When they met with the Aeternum Automatons, they only saw them as an opportunity to gather more slaves; and terrible fights ensued. Although most of their forces have been dealt with, 3-CK —another lovely automaton— told me some Kinslayers remain, and they roam the nearby seas with a fleet of armed ships. Any help to defeat them would be greatly appreciated. If you wish to learn more, I can only recommend you meet them too. Soon, books will be published, retelling their long and windy history. [contact Daengie for more] ORC POLITICS An Olog becomes Rex Continuing on last cactus week's events, where concerns about the respect of our traditions, harsh treatment towards vassals, and distrust in the Rex Kybal'Akaal and his clan caused instability and threats of rebellion in Krugmar. Somehow, it seems bloodshed was avoided. The then-Rex Kybal'Akaal addressed the Iron Horde on the 7th of the first seed. He accused the rebels of being a foreign force, orcish only by their representatives. He also reminded his people that he had not refused anyone a duel, but rather simply followed the laws implemented by his predecessor Al-Borok'Akaal. Still, Kybal acknowledged the power stacked against him; deeming that the rebels would be out to assassinate him if he were to participate in —and win— a duel, he decided to exile himself from orcish lands. In his final statement, he appointed Grubnakh'Lak as new Rex of the Iron Horde. Rex Grubnakh'Lak immediately took the position, and vowed to forge a renewed great era of war. He started with an open hand for reconciliation and unity; washed all who had served the previous Rex of grudge, and called for vassals to reaffirm their allegiance to the Horde. It should be noted that this is an exceptional event, for Rex Grubnakh is an olog. Ologs —for unfamiliar readers— are one of the tree subraces of Orcs; goblins, uruks, and ologs. They are taller, stronger, and dumber than uruks, even more so for goblins. Though they are not explicitly deprived of their right to claim the Rex position, their limited, often child-like intellect and associated absence of ability —or will— to govern has kept them away from leading Krugmar up until now. Zkorkon'Ugluk seemed satisfied with the turn of events. "He will make a good Rex" he said, and though he might challenge him later, for now "it is far more interesting to lay witness [to the start of] the Ologarchy". This position seems to reflect a large part of the Horde, which welcomed change with open hands. Surely we will learn more at the next Klamor. It will be held cactomorrow. ORCISH CULTURE Cooking: Skalezid Krispy Kookiez Oh, how refined the Orcs are! One might not know how diverse their cooking is, and what great tasteful dishes they can make from the gifts of the desert. But this shall change today. See for yourself! Today's recipe: Scalecid Crispy Cookies! Ingredients: 1 scalecid, preferably young and freshly harvested 6 eggs (optional) Preparation: Prepare a cauldron and put some water to boil. Skin the scalecid and keep the meat separately. Chop the hide and bones into pieces. This process can be tedious, especially if the scalecid is not fresh or too mature. If that is the case, you can use a mortar and sledgehammer to grind the thick hide down to pieces. Once the bone hide is reduced to the size of pebbles, chuck it in the water, and place a lid on the cauldron. While the scalecid bones soften, tenderize the meat down to a paste. You may add eggs at this step; if you chose to do so, wash the egg shells and add them to the boiling pot. Form cookie shapes from this meat dough. The cookies can be left to dry, or —if you are trying the eggless recipe— slightly grilled in an oven. After a day, you will have a broth with delicious scalecid chips. Sift them out, and sprinkle them on the cookies. That's it! You can now enjoy delicious scalecid crispy cookies! It has come to my attention that in last issue, Rex Grubnakh was described as part of plan Ugluk. My apologies for this mistake; Rex Grubnakh is part of clan Lak. For any requests, remarks or information, please contact Gharak'Yar or leave a letter at the Kaktuz Weekli offices at the Library of Barbog, San’Brîu Krugmar. Yours ,Gharak
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