How about the staff take the initiative and step in? Either let us settle this with an official warclaim, or force us to stop raiding. We HAVE tried to settle this in RP from Orens side (example - yesterdays meeting), but the dwarves have blatantly either OOCly or RPly decided to **** all and continue this endless cycle. This is not going to be fixed until people with the actual authority and power step in to force something to happen.
Neither side is going to openly submit to peace, because both sides have an ego to maintain. If GMs become the middleman and force us to do something, be it warclaim or call it off, it is 10x better than one side openly submitting to call it off which is aka being defeated.