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WuHanXianShi14

Creative Wizard
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About WuHanXianShi14

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    counterfactual
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  1. Hello LOTC, This is my leaving post. I joined this server in 2012. I was a 15 year old kid, and I loved fantasy. The extent to which you could completely immerse yourself in an imaginary world on LOTC was mind blowing to me, and I quickly became entranced. It turns out, I would not break that trance for another seven years. Many people on this server are incredibly devoted to this place. They spend almost all their free time online. I can see why. For me, a nerdy highschool band geek with only a small circle of friends and not much going for him, to be able to engage in a world where you can be powerful, relevant, and immerse yourself among hundreds of like-minded people? It was like crack. I became addicted and basically started living two lives. My real life, and my online life. I quickly found a niche. First with the Arcane Delvers, and later with the Wood Elves. LOTC is an incredibly factional and tribal environment. And as I became a leader figure in the community, I quickly accumulate no shortage of enemies. Not to say I didn’t deserve it. I was brash, rude, arrogant and hateful. I hated the snow elves. I hated the orcs. I hated PVP goons. And they hated me. The rivalries on this server bring out the absolute worst in people, and it brought out the worst in me. Being a young adolescent with little to no romantic experience, I quickly found out that this server was an avenue to gain romantic attention. I didn’t do more than the standard FTB with my first few partners, but when I was 17, one of my partners introduced me to the concept of off-platform Erotic Roleplay. You all know this, because this is what most people know me by. Erotic Roleplay is generally looked down upon. Its seen as an act done only by losers and basement dwellers seeking anonymity to gain sexual attention that they otherwise are unable to obtain in real life. Honestly, there’s some truth to that. What I was doing was not healthy. For me, easy access to intimate attention online basically became a substitute for finding intimate attention in real life. It wasn’t right. In September of 2016, sexual roleplay between myself and a partner was leaked to the public. What happened between me and her was more or less a miscommunication and we have long since talked it out. We remain friends. Even so, I’ve been notoriously made into a widely ridiculed public figure because of it, and years of “fae ring” jokes, general harassment, and my branding as a sex offender have taken a heavy toll on my self worth and mental health. I get it. I was hated. To many people in this community I was this arrogant dickhead whose prosperity came at their expense. I was ******* insufferable. Those leaked logs were an opportunity to take me down. To push me off my pedestal. If you were one of those people, please don’t get defensive when reading this. In your position, I don’t know that I would have acted any better. Like I said, LOTC brings out the worst in many people, and given the opportunity to destroy my enemy’s social reputation like you guys destroyed mine, I probably would have done it. Still, the leaked logs were a lesson to me. From then on as a general rule, I did not engage in intimate roleplay, sexual or non-sexual, without verbal consent beyond a reasonable doubt. It should be noted that even before that I would always respect a “no”, its just that I would now also look specifically for a “yes”. My new awareness of sexual responsibility also made me acutely aware of my age. When I was first introduced to erotic roleplay I was a minor, but now, at 18 on the cusp of 19, I was legally an adult. At the time, LOTC had no defined “age of consent” laws because by definition, all erotic roleplay was off-platform not associated with LOTC. So in lieu of server rules, I created a set of standards for myself. I would obey the age of consent in whatever IRL jurisdiction my partner was in (it ranges from 16-18 years old in almost all Western Countries / US States). I would not take any partner if she was over 4 years younger than me, committing myself to only partners in my general age group (however, if 4 years younger than me put them under the age of consent, that also disqualified them). I never asked for nude pictures, would only accept them when offered if my partner was 18+, and I never sent any pictures of myself. I wish I could prove all this to you guys. Part of me has always wanted to screenshot and share every time I ask a partner if she’s comfortable, ask a partner for consent, or ask a partner her age before engaging. However, it's not like that was ever an option, as that would y’know- expose my partners and make them subject to public ridicule. Still, I don’t want to say that I didn’t make mistakes with my partners. There were miscommunications. There were times when I acted generally thoughtlessly, and my negligence led to hurt. These are things that happen to all young people engaging in any sort of intimate relationship, and I was no exception. Ultimately though, no matter how much integrity I tried to have regarding my erotic roleplay habit, there still remained the shadow of the fact that the whole thing was just unhealthy. That I shouldn’t be relying on this for social and romantic attention. I should be out there, making connections in real life. I was being a loser. The thing is, by now my mental health and my self worth were in such dire straits that going out and putting myself out there in real life just seemed impossible to me. I hated myself. I hated how I looked, I hated how socially inept I was. Self loathing consumed me. A lot of it was born of all the hatred and vitriol and accusations I absorbed during my time here on LOTC. Even so, I didn’t want to leave. It’s a fuckin asinine situation to be honest. Paradoxical. LOTC was the biggest source of my stress. My self worth issues. My self hatred. Often it made my life a living hell. But at the same time, it was also the home to many of my closest friends. There was a niche within the server where I was respected as a leader. So simultaneously as the server tore me apart, it was also my main lifeline to feeling wanted, and important. The idea of leaving terrified me. To be honest, it still does. You know, over the last 3 years I’ve built something of a life for myself IRL. I’m toughing it out through university. I’m working in a museum. I’m getting paid to write history documentaries for a youtube channel with nearly 900,000 subscribers. That’s all stuff I should be proud of. But the terrible, sad truth is that all of that stuff has always felt like a sideshow to what’s happening to me on this server. Wherever I was at in real life, the shadow of LOTC hung over me. My dependence on it for friends, for romantic attention, and my subsequent lack of both in the real world have taken an incredibly hard toll on my self worth. The truth is, my mental health will never improve until I leave this place. All of that came to a boil yesterday, when I found out that I was a casualty of the “pedo-investigation” bans that Telanir recently green-lit. In truth, I had been trying to quit LOTC permanently for weeks by that point. But finding out that I was on trial, and most likely going to be permabanned shook me to my core. Call it habit, I suppose. Up until this point, I had basically been living two lives. One life was online, and one life was in the real world. My parents and my two closest friends vaguely knew about my connection to LOTC, but not the true extent of how deeply involved I was in it. Last night, I finally opened up to my parents. I told them every single thing that had been going on with me in my online world over the last three years. I told them about my habits, and I told them how much my mental health and self worth had tanked. I told them all the things I’ve been accused of, and offered to show them proof it was false if need be. One thing I can be thankful for is that I have incredibly supportive parents. They believed me and they have my back. One thing we agree on is that I need to leave LOTC and not look back. From there, we’re going to look into counselling- and if need be, psychotherapy. The reason I didn’t tell them all this before? Not because I was afraid they wouldnt believe me. But because I knew that once I came out about my online life and the effect it had on me, I would have no choice but to take the first steps towards leaving it permanently. Before now, I didn’t want to leave. LOTC wasn’t just minecraft. LOTC was my friends. LOTC was my sense of belonging. Leaving it terrified me. Honestly, it still does. I suspect that it's going to be really lonely for a couple of months after I quit, maybe even a year or more. Leaving LOTC is going to leave a big hole in my social life that is going to take time to rebuild. I suspect that for years to come, I’m going to think back to all the good times I had here, all the wonderful experiences I had with people I loved, and its going to hurt- knowing I’ll never be able to go back to that again. I don’t expect this post is going to change that many opinions about me. Many of you think I’m a pedophile, a sexual predator, among many other things. Many of you have seen out of context screenshots, or have heard stories that help reinforce those beliefs. I’m going to defend myself in this ongoing investigation, not because I intend to stay on this server, but so I can prove to myself and my friends I’m not the monster everyone thinks I am. I’ll leave you with this. I’m not a pedophile. I’m not a sexual predator. I’ve never acted intentionally manipulative, I’ve never intentionally tried to hurt my partners. I’ve never leveraged intimate roleplay from a position of power. Never, have I ever intentionally done anything considered sexually immoral. However. I know I’ve hurt people, through ignorance, misunderstanding, or general thoughtlessness. If you’re one of those people I’ve probably apologized to you already, but here, publicly, I apologize once again. And overall, I know that my erotic roleplaying habit on LOTC was not healthy. It was not a recipe for a fulfilling life. Relying on the internet for your romantic and intimacy fix is just going to destroy your self worth like it did mine. During these last three years I haven’t been the best person I could be. I sunk myself deep into a pit of unhealthy coping, and only now have I began crawling out of it. If you hate me, and you believe all the things said about me, I hope you can make your peace with that. To all of my friends on this server- the ones who have stuck by me throughout the years despite what everyone accuses me of: Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. You are truly good people. You have been a light in some of the darkest years of my life. And I hope that moving forward, you will still be a part of my life. If any of you want to talk to me, ask for my side for any accusation or piece of evidence or whatever, my discord is: Lao#3371 Goodbye, its time I started healing, and its time I start building towards being a person I’m proud of being.
  2. Artimec was hoping that they’d forgotten about that...
  3. Artimec sprinkles the salt of the earth into a fiery brazier lighting up the shrine of Amethon, the Prince of Cervidae. He had a placid expression on his face. War was nothing new to his people, and win or lose, their spirit was strong. They would survive.
  4. ((neat. historical etymology and linguistics is some big brain ****
  5. @Mumkey aegrothond and gladewynn began in 2018 tho
  6. Don’t worry, Haelun’or. Your saviour will return to lead you to victory.
  7. “It is BEYOND embarrassing that the MALI’AHERAL, after having their envoys expelled from our city, sought to INTIMIDATE us with their Imperial masters! Whether we win or lose in the war to come, the sons and daughters of Irrin will enter the eternal forest as honourable warriors. Live or die, we will NEVER submit to the rule of the mali’ata.” Artimec raised his tomahawk, and violently buried it upon a pillar in the forest throne. It would not be dislodged until the war was over.
  8. “It is BEYOND embarrassing that the MALI’AHERAL, after having their envoys expelled from our city, sought to INTIMIDATE us with their Imperial masters! Whether we win or lose in the war to come, the sons and daughters of Irrin will enter the eternal forest as honourable warriors. Live or die, we will NEVER submit to the rule of the mali’ata.” Artimec raised his tomahawk, and violently buried it upon a pillar in the forest throne. It would not be dislodged until the war was over.
  9. Translated by Nivndil Duskhollow, Sister Autumn of the Druidic Order 6th of the Amber Cold, 1670 Liturgical prayers to be spoken during the process of Ritual Offering Prayer to the Aspects Prayers to the Aspects should be spoken after a material offering has been given. The Aspects are primordial beings, their life-force and spirit encompasses all natural living things. Thus the prayers spoken to honour and beseech boon from them are broad and diverse. Essense of War Spoken by Mali’ame warriors before going into battle. They are to drink the essence of Cernunnos, a vial of boar’s blood, before speaking these words. Common: “O’ Lord of Death, strengthen my arm: In our time of need, I beg you to come to your people’s aid. Fill my heart with the honor of those past as I face this newest trial As we remember you in all our earthly troubles. Benevolent mother, wipe fear from my heart: Never abandoning your children, always tender, Preserve me that I may see my children and yours live, I place my trust in you to hold my life from the end.” Elven: “O’ Laurir’Orkina, kae’leh wy’anuh ceruereh Ito kaean’leh enet’adiln, kae nae’leh lye medinera adontere. Nae kae’leh taliyna lentere il’Sirame bilokereh, ay’kinal karin’ento Wyl kaean nae peritherae, ito kaean’leh lluman. Haelun’Lle, lluman kae’leh hiylun myumiera’onn: Partuva nae’leh y’Malii suliera, partuva llean. Kae’leh hiylun evara, iyal kae’leh nae’leh Malii’ehya yallran oerneh suliere, karinto. Kae ay’nae halere, kae’leh hiylun taynan’ehya tennae kae’leh eth myumiera. Heart of the Hunt To thank the Aspects for a successful hunt. Spoken after an offering from the hunt has been prepared and gifted. Common: “O’ father of the hunt, Blessed be to this bounty, whose hide will clothe our young, Whose flesh will fill our stomachs. As we take from your realm, we give back So our souls may be one with the great balance” Elven: “O’ Maln’Orran, Aheral ito iyl fihn, tuvehn kaen’leh Maliian evareh, Taliiynan’ehya kaean’leh hilyunan fihereh karin’ento. Kaean nae’leh tuvan, kaean illerae’yem kaeanleh’ehya hiylunan ito tal’Meracahe orern lenterih karin’ento.” New Beginning Done during Spring, the season of rebirth. A prayer spoken after offering a braid of one’s hair to the Aspects, beseeching a new beginning. Common: “O’ compassionate mother, I offer you a piece of my essence, So that you may imbue me with your sacred breath, And reform my soul anew, Free of the burdens on my shoulders.” Elven: “O’ Haelun’Lle, Kae’leh tal’hiylun nae illere, Iyal il’nae’leh aheral iheiuhii kae illereh, Kaeleh’ehya hiylun fiyem bilokera tilrunen’onn myumin y’kae’leh.” The Essence of Healing A prayer spoken by healers seeking the mother’s grace when treating a patient. They are to drink Cerridwen’s essence, sacred Attunement springwater, before speaking these words. Common: “O’ earth Mother, benevolent to the weak and weary, Who spreads the gifts of life and good health over the emerald wilds. You who gifted me my own life, and their life, Pray for my soul and bless my hands with your healing light. O' compassionate Mother, look down upon me, I ask that you help your dutiful servant, so they may continue to serve you and spread your goodness across the land. Elven: “O’ Haelun’Taynan, orlle ay’adiln divcerun’ehya, lae heya elillern’tayna lentera hiyluan’ehya y’ameantaynei. nae heya kae’leh taynan illerale, kae’leh wynan’anuh il’sulwaleh, nae’leh ehya orahernan illera. O’ Haelun’lle, y’kae anoh’suliera, kae ay’nae’leh tilrunhaleral mediera adontere, iyul kae orern nae tilruereh, nae’leh ehya lle’saere karin’ento.” Prayer of Fortitude A prayer spoken when seeking strength of soul and mind. Spoken after providing part of yourself as an offering, a braid of hair, or a drop of blood. Common: “Let nothing shake my soul, Let nothing strike fear in my heart, For when the world falls apart, I remember this: The Aspects never fade. Your faith in them gives you the world Whoever has the light of the lord and lady lacks nothing; The Mother and Father alone bring great treasures” Elven: “Oerne kae’leh ethereh, Oerne kae’leh hiylun’ito khel myumiereh Ay’heya tuvan ullrere, kae iyl perithere: Eletaliynan orchulne ullrer. Nae’eh ay’eletaliynan mayilere nae tuvan illere. Heya elsul’elemaln elehaelun’ehya ay’divtuvan oradilne; Elehaelun Elemaln’ehya sioln maorakal myumiereyae.” A Mother’s Gift A prayer to beseech good health for a newborn child. Words spoken after the child’s umbilical cord, or baby teeth, have been offered. Common: “O gentle mother, And benevolent lady of life, Grant this my joyous bequest; Send out your grace on (he/she) Fill them with life unending, And start them on the path of goodness That they may spread life and happiness To all that lay their eyes upon them” Elven: “O Leyuan Haelun, Lari’Taynaan ehya, Kae iyl adonten illera; Nae’leh ahernan y’(lae/hae) myumiera (lae/hae) il’taynaan ordiveth ahera, y’Elnarnsaenlle’ehya annilera Iyal (lae/hae) taynan orwyn’ehya oerneh maeluere Iyl’ehya y’heya suliera y’(lae/hae) oerneh illere.” Last Rites Spoken over a dying Elf, or shortly after their passing, to bring peace to the departing Spirit and guide them on. Common: O' Mother, look upon me now. See here that your gift of life has ended, That his/her heart is still and his/her Spirit weary. May you bring him/her to peace and slumber eternal. O' Father, look upon me now. See here that your gift of the hunt has ended, That his/her voice is silent and his/her blood grows cold. May you bring him/her to honour and strength undying. You have held this Spirit until the end, And he/she now passes into the Balance. Flesh to soil, blood to water, bone to dust. Blessed be. Elven: O' Haelun, y'kae oerneh suliera. ito suliera, iyul nae'leh illern'taynan ethere, Iyul divhiuw ito lae'leh/hae'leh taliiynan, divcerun'ehya ito hae'leh/lae'leh hiylun. Oerneh nae ito hileia lae/hae myumiera, ciwn'ehya uell. O' Maln, y'kae oerneh suliera. ito suliera iyul nae'leh illern'orran ethere, Iyul leyun ito lae'leh/hae'leh iheiuhii, lae'leh/hae'leh ehya taliiynan feta lentera. Oerneh nae ito Sirame lae/hae myumiera, cerun'ehya uell. nae iyl'hiylun, tenna eth, myumierala karinte, lae'ehya/hae'ehya Meracahe narna. taliyna ito nor, taliiyna ito vallei, tur ito malomii. Ahernal ito. Prayers to Mani Prayers spoken to the great Mani Princes when you have hunted one of their respective flock, for example, if you have taken the life of an elk to feed you and your family, provide offering and prayer to the elk’s prince- Amaethon. Or when you seek wisdom, or a trait that they embody. Offer to the Mani a nonconsumable piece of your hunt such as a piece of bone, a feather or a hoof (if applicable). Set down a clay jar and light a stick of incense before the Mani shrine, as the scent will draw their attention. Then, speak your prayer. To Amaethon, Prince of Cervidae Prayers to Amaethon should be spoken when elk, deer or caribou have been hunted. Amaethon embodies gentleness and compassion, and can be prayed to for those desiring these traits. Common: “Great Prince of Mighty Elk, Whose flock run abound the deep woods and great plains, We give to you our devotion. We show to you our respect for your kind. Oh wise and gentle Amaethon, show us your blessing.” Elven: “Ellaurir’Amean, Amaethon, Heya lye mamean marwehnsaenan’ehya ito narneyae, Kaean’leh tilrun nae illerae. Kaean’leh Sirame aynae’leh lye myumierae. Oh maehran lle’ehya Amaethon, nae’leh ahern kae illera.” To Nemglan, Prince of Eagles Prayers to Nemglan should be spoken by those interacting with Hawks, Eagles, Falcons and other birds of prey, and those seeking the traits of freedom and independence. Common: “Unbound Nemglan of the blue skies, Whose hawks and falcons keep watchful vigil, We give to you our devotion. We show to you our respect for your kind. Oh Nemglan, free and proud, show us your blessing.” Elven: “Ordivtilruer Nemglan, Ellaurir ay’vallelaecaelean. Heya tahorranan mettaonn’ehya viran suliereyae, Kaean’leh tilrun nae illerae. Kaean’leh Sirame aynae’leh lye myumierae. Oh maehran lle’ehya Nemglan, nae’leh ahern kae illera.” To Moccus, Prince of Boars Moccus embodies stalwartness and conviction. Prayers are spoken to him by those seeking those traits, and those who have hunted the wild boars of the realm. Common: “Moccus the stalwart. The immovable. He whose tusks uproot mountains. We give to you our devotion. We show to you our respect for your kind. Oh Moccus, the indomitable, show us your blessing.” Elven: “Laran Moccus. Oem heya ordivhiuw ito nae’leh. Lae heya cerun malarehan lomera. Kaean’leh tilrun nae illerae. Kaean’leh Sirame aynae’leh lye myumierae. Oh Moccus, ordivtilrun, nae’leh ahern kae illera.” To Morea, Prince of Wolves Those seeking good relationship with wolves and hounds pray to Morea, as well as those who seek ferocity and bravery. Common: “Morea, Prince of the Pack Whose howl can be heard by all who gaze at the moon, We give to you our devotion We show to you our respect for your kind. Oh Morea, the ferocious, show us your blessing.” Elven: “Morea, Ellaurir’Chirran Heya iheihuii Velulaei hiuwera, Kaean’leh tilrun nae illerae. Kaean’leh Sirame aynae’leh lye myumierae. Oh Morea, llytan, nae’leh ahern kae illera.” To Machana, Prince of Steeds A strong rider will always offer prayer to Machana, as well as wayward souls seeking swiftness and loyalty. Common: “Machana, whose hooves flattened the great fields Whose harras run supreme in the prairie, We give to you our devotion, We show to you our respect for your kind, Oh Machana, the swift, show us your blessing.” Elven: “Machana, heya wynan’anoh marwehnsaenan hiuwera Heya’leh lye divohn wehnsaenan ito narneyae, Kaean’leh tilrun nae illerae. Kaean’leh Sirame aynae’leh lye myumierae. Oh Machana, leyuan, nae’leh ahern kae illera.” To Bolomormaa, Princess of Bears Bolomormaa embodies the spirit of the Mother Bear, a patron for mothers and women. Common: “Protective Bolomormaa, Princess of Bears. Whose strength and ferocity guards the young and weak, We give to you our devotion. We show to you our respect for your kind. Oh Bolomormaa, gentle yet mighty, show us your blessing.” Elven: “Elevarir Bolomormaa, Ellaurir ay’Lenotsan. Heya’leh cerun orhil’ehya adilnan okarere, Kaean’leh tilrun nae illerae. Kaean’leh Sirame aynae’leh lye myumierae Oh Bolomormaa llean, ehya llytan, nae’leh ahern kae illera.” To Mahae, The Great Lion Spirit Mahae symbolizes that of Courage and Pride, a blessing of moral and strength gifted to warriors about to charge into the heat of battle. Common: "Prince of the Wild, I name you Mahae. Whose charge is strength and guardianship, We ask for your blessing of honour, That we may take up your spirit hereafter. Great Spirit of the Lion, bless us with your voice." Elven: "ellaurir ay'Ame, kae Mahae nae sanere. cerun okansaen'ehya ito heya'leh myumin, kaean nae'leh Sirame ahern'onn adonterae, iyul kaean hiylun myumierae. Marhiylun maehae'onn, nae'leh iheiuhii il'kaean ahera." Kwakwani - The Trickster Raven The Raven is a mischievous but kind-hearted trickster, and represents a quiet cunning and forward creativity that makes it attractive to artists, singers and poets. Common: “Melodic Kwakwani, Prince of Wit and Song, Beautiful is your artistry. We give you our devotion And honour for your people. Oh clever and liberated Kwakwani, give us your blessing.” Elven: “Lennielan Kwakwani, Ellaurir ay’Vulliran Len’ehya, leyuan ito nae’leh orvalmsae. kaean’leh tilrun nae illerae, kaean’leh Sirame aynae’leh lye myumierae. Oh Kwakwani vullan divtulrun’ehya, nae’leh ahern kae illera.” Felixii - The Silent Watcher The Wildcat makes not a peep as it stalks the deep woods. Her presence is unknown to many, and has become a patron for practitioners of stealth, and keepers of secrets. Common: “Elusive Felixi, Prince of the Forest Whose secrets by many are sought, We give you our devotion And honour for your people. O' Felixi, Seer of Truth, give us your blessing.” Elven: Marvull Felixi, Ellaurir’leh Ame Heya'leh taliyuan uell uhiereyae, Kaean'leh tilrun nae illerae. Kaean'leh Sirame aynae'leh lye myumierae. O' Felixi, sulierir'madivulie, kae'leh ahern kaean illera. Ohowaki - Keeper of Knowledge Like many other cultures, Wood Elves consider the Owl a symbol of wisdom. Ohowaki has long been a sharer of knowledge to the forgotten-folk, and has become a patron of scholars. Common: “Knowledgable Ohowaki , Princess of Owls. Whose hunts are silent, We give you our devotion. And honour for your people. Oh Ohowaki wise, but graceful, give us your blessing.” Elven: “Ohowaki maehran, Ellaurir ay’Ibaran. lyun ito heya’leh orrarnan, kaean’leh tilrun nae illerae. kaean’leh Sirame aynae’leh lye myumierae Oh Ohowaki ormaehr, ehya leyuan, nae’leh ahern kae illera.”
  10. Artimec placed a stag’s skull directly under the prancing shrine to Amaethon, and flanked it on either side with a bundle of gladiolus flowers- marks of the warrior. He scattered some wild seeds into the shrine fire, causing it to flicker and crackle in the backdrop of his sacrifice. “O’ Haelun’Lle, tilrunen’onn myumin y’nae’leh. You will return soon, brother.” He said quietly, his tone phrased like a solemn order.
  11. Originally planning on sleeping with a man just to spite Haelun’or, Artimec realizes he is currently in a relationship, and instead just fantasizes about High Prince Bravepaw instead.
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