The Dwarven Alchemy Guild's Task

[Kardel 1054]

 

The past few night had rang with the sound of explosions emitting through the stormlands and stones being knocked off the roof of Kal'Ithrun by the masses as the alchemists established their new base there. Every time an experiment would go wrong, the explosion would ring throughout the city. These explosions had become but a background noise since the Alchemy Guild moved into Kal'Ithrun, blending in with the daily cacophony. Today, though, was different. Today, the alchemist's had actually succeeded in not killing themselves and sprouting giant fungi from the roof of the city of storms, today was different. Kardel Irongut had come up with a little potion that might serve of use to the Grand Kingdom.

 

Kardel walked up to Grand King Wulfgar on the walls of Kal'Ithrun, a wide smile across his pale face. His windswept hair and skin dotted with the debris of failed concoctions made his look almost insane, as he walked up to the king. Trailing him, were two young alchemists carrying a large padded chest.

 

Kardel bowed before the king, his his glasses falling off his eyes, as he quickly grabbed them and stood up, his eyes bloodshot from sleepless nights of experimenting. He put his glasses on. . .backwards. . .and begand lecturing the royal body, the smell of gunpowder and singed cloth filling the atmosphere.

 

"Mah liege an' luards! Tudeh, ah present ta yer da fruit o' mah labor! Eht be un extreme modificatien o' olchemecal foire. . .ah coll eht Olchemecal Fureh!"

 

The two boys carefully place the padded, reinforced wooden casket on the ground and open it with the greatest care. One of the lads takes out a long, spherical phial filled with dark  liquid that seemed to pulse as if it was magma.

"Dis mah liege, be un super-pouered olchemecal foire! Eht be mah recipe. . .accept nou dere be 10, aye, 10 symbol's o' foire balanced wiff 8 symbol's o erth an' 5 sym'ols o' air. Naturalleh dere be 2 symbol's o' water, weak symbols, jus' tae balance da concoction eut su eht dunnae exploud. Da symbol's o' foire vary frum moderate tae strung, an' da erth be oll moderate. Oll symbol's o' air, dou, be strung! Dis volitaile substance be loike olchemest's foire, accept eht exploudes wif un great force!"

 

Kardel motions to the phial again.

 

"Da furce be su great, eht can rent un crater o' t'ree meters boi t'ree meters en solid rock! Aye, an' eht also catc'es en foire. . .un dark, blue foire! Dis substance be su dangerous, ehts riskeh even usin' eht! Fer ehts twoice da probailiteh eht will exploud den olchemecal foire. . .an' twoice da deadliness tuu! Ye cannae foire dis out o' un catapult, ye can unleh use un sling tae get dis across! Eht reacts tae pressure wif triple da viulence den dat o' reactin' tae air!"

 

"Dis concoction be breued at belou freezin'. Ye mayke un bayse o' lamp oil, sulfur, coal dust, un bit o' aqua vitae fer stabiliteh, an' sum dulled blayze poudah. Den 6 moderate symbol's o' foire are added, preferrableh dorf's pumpkin', an' den 4 drake's tail be added. Enbetween dis addition, yer suppoased tae add un elve's air voine evereh 2 foire symbols, an' mix in 3 erth symbols befure da air symbols, an' den add in da eart' symbols at da sayme toime as da air symbols. Da temperature o' breuin' mus' be jus' abuve freezin', NAE MURE. . .er eht explouds. Symbol's o' water be added fer e'ereh 5 foire symbols. . .an eht mos' be stirred evenleh da w'ole toime. Eht taykes twu olchemests tae mayke un phial o' dis demonic droug't!"

 

"Aye. . .an' wuts terribleh aboot dis be dat ye cannae extinguis' eht loike olchemests foire, if sum simple at'in coonterpotien. . .ye need un breu mayde o' 4 strung wuter symbols an' 2 strung air symbols mixed wif 1 vereh strung eart' symbol. Ah've gut sum roight 'ere jus' in cayse. . .ehts Fury Coonterpotien"

 

Kardel holds up a dark blue phial.

 

"Nou, as fer dae testin'. . ."

 

Kardel waves to the boys, as they move to a nearby sling prepared for this event. The arm of the sling is padded with an extra coating of sponge, as the boys set the soccer-ball sized phial on it. One of the lads pulls the arm back, sliding the sling into firing position. With the flick of a wrist, the boy let go of the lever as the phial flew in the air, spinning slowly. Suddenly, in midair the rocking became to great and the phial's neck burst, glass shrapnel flying everywhere as a blue flame engulfed the glass of the phial. The ball of flame landed a good 200 meters away from the walls, breaking the road and sending bits of rock and gravel flying everywhere. The surrounding area blazed with the rapidly spinning blue flame as the inferno went out of control.

 

The fire roared, i roared as if it were a beast. The blue inferno burned brightly across the morning sky, licking at the clouds with long, ominous tongues. It hissed at times, but then roared again and exploded into the air even higher. The inferno did not feed off wood or coal; it fed off air. It breathed. It lived as if it were a wild, malicious beast reaching to eat the sky with it dark indigo teeth. The blaze was truly a sight to behold, a frightening sight. 

Kardel motion to a unit of the ground, the men on the ground rushing to the fire with bottles of green counterpotion, hurling them at the blaze. After a good 20 minutes of fighting the fire, the inferno finally died, leaving in its wake a large 12 by 9 meter area of fused black stone with countless craters and rents. 

 

The spectators looked terrified as Kardel started laughing maniacally, motioning to the king. "Aye, mah liege? Dis be un weapen fit fer eur enemies! Let dem feel 'ow eht be tae bask en da presence o' da nedder's foires ehtself!" Looking at the king, and not blinking, Kardel waits for a response.

[Fimlin 1997]

Fimlin Grandaxe watches from his Nut tree, the explosion seemed familiar almost too familiar he walks up to Kardel and asks;

"Is dis wut' t' 'umans used at T'oringrad?"

[Dtrik 330]

*slowly eats a potato as he hears explosions coming from outside* Oi loike potatoes

*mumbles to himself* W'en es Kardel goin tuh teach meh 'ow tuh make alchemy potions.

[Daisy 9739]

*whispers to the King*

 

"'oly shoite, dat dwarf beh crazeh, but dat t'ing.... was interesting... useful?"

[JVQ 1719]

Fimlin Grandaxe watches from his Nut tree, the explosion seemed familiar almost too familiar he walks up to Kardel and asks;

"Is dis wut' t' 'umans used at T'oringrad?"

[Birdwhisperer 1174]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.