[Comedy] Chronicles Of Nub'tug: The Parenting

[HandCookedTires 10]

The Chronicles Of Nub'tug: The Parenting

 

As told by Tyrell Blavier

 

The story in which I'm about to tell you is 100% true and this is to be proven by absolutely no witnesses, since I'm 100% trustworthy. It is a grand story of lust and love, fear and betrayal, but most of all, a story of Nub'tug the Magnificent.

It all truely started once I ate some berries near a beach between the costal town of Vivitas to the furthrest reaches of the Orenian Empire. I slept and woke with a small amount of time passing but so much changing during my sleep. Oddly dressed people were everywhere, roaming aimlessly and I asked what they were. They were surprised that I could see them and said "when is my application going to be accepted" ,being that I did not know what nonsense this was about, moved on. I assume that these berries allow one to see the dead.
 
I first met Nub'tug on a trail near Salvus wherein once we locked eyes we knew what had to be done. Nub'tug ran to me and I to him in the most graceful manner in a field of flowers. The wind was blowing so lightly in my hair and the thorn bushes Nub'tug was running through was most obviously piercing through his loincloth and causing great discomfort to his manhood. I was now no less than a stones throw away from Nub'tug and my clothes already fell off, lord knows why that happened. Nub'tug and I decided that the best course of action would be to gather my belongings and continue where we started.

We both sat clothed on the side of the road speaking to each other in the most sophisticated mannor that a human could talk to a grammatically incorrect Olog. I had to ask him the question we both knew that had to be asked "Will you sign my book?" Why I had this book about Nub, for Nub and by Nub was quite mysterious and what made it worse is that there was nothing in it and I had to write it for him. Other items appeared on my person too now that I think about it... a paper saying something about a Nexus with all my life information on it was there. Nub'tug proceeded to tell me his life story, which goes as follows:

"I was 7 years old when it all started, I liveded (he intentionally made me do that) with my dad who's name was Father and my mom whose name was also Father. Life was so peaceful in my village, not a care in the world. Father had made me cheftan of the orcs as he/she knew I had something special within me and I was trained to do magic by the most best wizards of Azeroth." Nub'tug proceeds to cry. "One day Gandalf, my wife and I were sitting by the river when we saw a bunch of parents coming down the river on a boat. They taunted us and sang- we were peterfried. Father said run and decided to continue standing where he/she was and we was die in front my eyes. The parents were killing my orcs. Father was less stupid and ran with me to the nearest village but he/she died by bandits after I killed them. I swore vengeance on parents and badgers and lived happily ever after in my new village. The End."

I was absolutely confused about what Nub'tug was talking about but he proceeded to talk to me about this new concept of "Roleplay" and the three pillars of if it, which were "Roleplay, Metagaming and Powergaming" and are to be defined as such:

Roleplay is walking up and down the Stone Road, waiting for an encounter to happen.

Metagaming is using Skype and Teamspeak (Lord knows what that is.)

Powergaming is there's nothing wrong with it.
 
Nub'tug then whipped out a piece of paper and forced me to draw and account of his story too:

 

 

Now that he's drove everything to Hell, Nub'tug decides to throw me upon his shoulder and begins hopping across the land. End me please.

[Al Urguani 35]

What a ruse!

[Knox213 10]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.