Character Profile [Johnathan "Jeb" Buschen]

[Kardel 1054]

This is a meme. I got banned from the memeboards n **** because I BROKE THE RUULS and must now vent my anger through this sorry platform. Keks are appreciated very much

 

Character Name:

 

Johnathan  B ü schen
 

Basic Information:

 

A desperate middle aged man happily married to an impish halfling who's dream was always to become the Emperor of Oren. He lives in the shadow of a successful brother and an even more successful father, both of whom were Kings. He scrapes his living off of selling ornately carved bowls, specifically made to house paste from the elusive but delicious Kharajyr jungle-pear. 
 

Nicknames:

 

Apathetic Lad, Kharajyr Jungle Tree-Pear Paste Bowl merchant, Jeb!, Yeb?

Age:

 

62

Gender:

 

Male?

Race:

 

Low Energy Human

Status:

Depressed, on suicide watch

Description:

 

A lanky, tall man with a generic haircut who smiles at every insult and is adept at fighting the pain. He has a perpetual smell of Kharajyr tree-pears about him, and can often be found crying and pulling his hair out due to the shame he has brought upon his House.

Height:

 

6 foot something

Weight:

 

66 pounds 

Body Type:

 

Lightweight

Eyes:

 

Bloodshot

Hair:

 

Falling off/ teared off

Skin:

 

Undeservingly white

Markings/Tattoos:

 

A cow-brand on his left gluteus maximus bearing the sigil "Donaldor Tuvya"

Health:

 

Extremely depressed, suicidal, bipolar, inferior

Personality:

 

Lacks a personality

Inventory:

 

Guac bowl

Further Details:

 

He often pronounces his name with exaggerated exclamation, alla JEB!


Life Style

Alignment:

 

Chaotic Passive

Deity:

 

He has found out that there is, in fact, no God.

Religion:

 

None

Alliance/Nation/Home:

 

Oren

Job/Class:

 

Merchant

Title(s):

 

None

Profession(s):

 

Merchant

Special Skill(s):

 

Ability to converse with rats, holding in the feels

Flaw(s):
 

YES


Magic:

Current Status:

 

Tier 1 Meme Magician

Arch-type:

 

Memeic Arts

Sub-Type:

 

Low Energy Meme Sorcery

Rank:

 

Inept 

Weakness(es):

 

Everything

Strength(s):

 

Can make very good Kharajyr jungle pear paste

Current Spell(s):
 

Fundus Dissapearus, Campaignus Failus, Nameus Degeneratus, Smilus Nonintimidatus
 

 

Weaponry

Fighting Style:
 

Low energy, light weight

Trained Weapon:

 

None

Favored Weapon:

 

None

Archery:

 

No



Biography

Parents:

 

Gorgio of the Bushes and Barabasa of the Hedges

Siblings:

 

Gorgio II of the Bushes

Children:

 

Yes

Extended Family:

 

No

Pet(s):

 

TURTLE



History

One day Yeb was a great man, set to be the Emperor of Oren. He grew up in the very best private academy in Petrus and was so cool he even smoked Cactus Green once. He was such a successful man that he married a halfling from the southern dominions of Oren and felt content, playing with his prized pet turtles. But then Yeb's father Giorgio forced him to try and become Emperor but alas! He was too low energy, and when Tuvya the unstumpable went up against him Yeb stood no chance and became extremely depressed. He then developed a morbid fascination with kharajyr jungle pears and began selling expensive bowls to host the pear paste in. He was a disaster and then began pulling out his hair. He destroyed his noble house and currently is on watch so as to not harm himself.

Artwork

 

Recent painting: warning! extremely low energy

[Telanir 6975]

Jeb is a mess.

[Elad™ 560]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.