Burning Fields and Cow Tipping

[Reckless Banzai Screamer 15456]

 

Plumes of black smoke rise from a valley deep within the Urguanite Mountain chain with screams echoing across the landscape. Men in brown leather brigandines on foot chase after Dwed peasantry and easily cut them down in the fields of wheat. Overlooking the carnage from a small slope, Colonel Ser Rakim runs his gauntleted hands through frost covered blades of grass. A look of frustration was on the Qali knight’s face. The journey to the Grand Kingdom was no easy feat with some of the Company men getting lost, dying from starvation or succumbing to the wild since they began their journey from Death’s End.

 

“Where in the ****’s ginger brows?” Rakim comes to from his moment of reflection and looks to his right. Several yards from the knight, Ser Romane was setting a flower bed on fire finding some difficulty with the flint and steel starter as his fingers nearly succumbed to frostbite on the journey. Rakim looks to his left out towards the rest of the valley beyond and watches as Ludwig of Lorraine swung his warhammer down upon the head of a dwedmar woman. The colonel did not look away however, he looked on with a sort of fascination.

 

“Ser Romane, let’s go.” Rakim lifts himself from off the ground and brushed off loose blades of grass from his brigandine.

 

“Ugh, von moment!” Ser Romane tosses the flint and steel starter far off towards nearby flames before accompanying the colonel to meet with the others.

 

Ser Rakim whistles loudly to grab the attention of all of those nearby as the knightly duo descended down the slope. Aengoth and Harland Sanders turn back from the cow they had just tipped onto its side and Sigman dragged back a pair of hog tied dwedmar by rope across the field.

 

"Weh can't kill tah sheep, that'll kill off en entoire fokin' future generation ove me folk!” Aengoth snickers as he nudges Harland Sanders in the ribs. They abandon the cow they tipped over to flail where it laid.

 

“Company men, I need a status report. If yall keep runnin’ out of sight I won’t know if some Urguan-Kongos snipe ya’ from the trees.” Ser Rakim says, looking about the band of marauders.

 

“We have enough food for the journey back, Ser. All hostiles are accounted for.” One of the company men say, sending a swift smack towards the exposed stomach of the male dwedmar Sigman had tied up. He tries to let out a cry but the gag in his mouth only muffle him out.

 

“And where’s ginger brows…?”

 

“Ser Rakim!” Ser Caius began running towards the company men. “Enemy cavalry just beyond the northern mountain.”

 

“Then we wrap up what we’re doin’ here, boys. We’ll take the manlet tunnels and make our escape discreet. LET’S MOVE.”

 

“But Ser - what of them?” The company man gestures to the pair of bound and gagged dwarves.

 

“What sorta’ question’s that, Sentinel? Off em’ quickly and get it over with. I have full intentions to get back home to my dog and away from these manlet sonsabitches. If we see ginger brows on our way back and he’s alive, I want him flogged for gettin’ lost. It will NOT happen again.”

 

Ludwig and Sigman were quick to finish off the pair of dwed and the company men hurried off from the valley, leaving the destruction behind them.

 

______________________________

 

Every man hopes to return home from war for something. Perhaps a woman they love back in their hometown, their liege lord or their family. While Ser Rakim could appreciate all of these things - there was only one thing that he cared about most in the world. His imported “slantie” dog from Oyashima, Shorty.

 

“When this war is over and we win, Shorty…-I will give you a better life.” Ser Rakim says after picking up his dog and lifting him into the air upon their reunion. “How does that sound, boy?”

 

Shorty barks, ready for the Company of the Westerlands and the rest of the Imperium to bring the fight back to their enemies! He then resumes defecating all over Rakim’s room and being a nuisance.

 

 

 

 

[Arctic_Guard 1068]

"Ich didn't know jo goht ah hound Rakim? How wunderbar!"

[colovian fur 8360]

Ser Caius ponders changing his moniker to 'the Billy Goat' following his careful scaling of the Dwed mountains during this adventure. He later requests better cushioning for his boots and an ice-pick. 

[Suicidium 1295]

Hamelin prays for Shorty to have a better life after the war too.

 

(( I'm digging Shorty~, dogs are awesome))

 

[Taketheshot 3834]

As Ser Walter helped guide the cart of captured goods into Death's End he fished through the slow moving cart for a certain object "Here you go Shorty! Straight from the heartland" He tosses the bone to the slantie dog. 

[Arctic_Guard 1068]

7 minutes ago, Taketheshot said:

As Ser Walter helped guide the cart of captured goods into Death's End he fished through the slow moving cart for a certain object "Here you go Shorty! Straight from the heartland" He tosses the bone to the slantie dog. 

"Who zah **** ahr jo?" Ser Romane demands. "Geht zah **** out auf here before jo geht shot. Didn't jo read zah signs?" He points to the signs directly above the gate outside of Death's End. "In case jo cahn't read, it says 'Trespassers will be shot.' Jo hadn't even accompanied us on zah raid either! Filthy cretinous vagabond!" He then shouts, "Scram!" repeatedly to the lost traveler with dementia. "****in' degenerate."

[Daisy 9738]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

If you feel this is a mistake, please contact myself or any FM and we'll restore it.