On Forgivness

[firegirl7894523 247]

On Forgiveness

Scribed by Priestess Carsandra, on 15th Malin's Welcome, 1655

 

Forgiveness to those who have committed wrong-doings in the eyes their own soul, their leader, or their God or Goddess. It seems like an impossible task, with all the lies, deceits, and rumors flowing around in the very earth of our soil. Forgiveness, as per definition, 'forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.' Many studies cite the importance for forgiveness, and the ability to let go of a grudge. 

 

However in certain extreme cases, crimes like murder, massive theft of one's property, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, mental abuse, and other types of crimes, the person who was afflicted, might feel better not forgiving their attacker. 

 

We seem to throw around that forgiveness needs to happen in order for somebody to move on, or that forgiveness comes inside a neat little package. One of the many struggles afflicted feel, is the urge to not forgive. Many fall into the Five Stages of Grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, can happen in any order, and last any period of time. Since all races are complex, something simple as a heartbreak, or getting rejected by your crush, may take years, while others, only a few weeks. 

 

The first stage, Denial, is often when the person denies what happened. They try to ignore it, or ignore the person that caused them harm. I've seen that this stage typically is the longest.

 

The second stage, Anger, is simply, when the person becomes bitter and angry with the other person. They lash out, make false judgements, and often lead to poor choices. Typically, this stage lasts from one to two months.

 

The third stage, Bargaining, is when the person attempts to re-gain what they had lost. Often going to extreme methods to con, swindle, or otherwise get the person on their side. This stage is the most destructive, and typically the third longest lasting.

 

The fourth stage, Depression, is when person falls under depression like moods. They often do not eat, or eat too much. They often do not sleep or sleep too much. Lacking motivation and willpower to do even the simplest tasks. This stage is the second longest lasting.

 

And the final stage, Acceptance. Accepting that the actions in the past, where the past. Nothing you can do can change it.

 

As I've said before, these stages come in any order. However, some afflicted may find themselves unable to finish the stages. This where the person turns to bitterness, rage, and anger, which fuels their mind to a point where it corrupts it. What people get often mistake is, forgiveness is the not saying 'I was ok with your actions,' forgiveness instead, teaches us to let go of the anger, sorrow, and regression. Forgiving another is NOT saying:

 

-I was not hurt by your actions.

 

-I am not in any mental or emotional pain because of your actions.

 

-The pain I feel is gone. 

 

-I am back to the person I was before it happened.

 

-My life can pick up to where if left off, before this happened.

 

-I no longer think the other person was at any way guilty for what they did to me.

 

-I am excusing your behavior. 

 

-I no longer view as what happened as important.

 

-I can share the blame on what happened. 

 

-That I can ever forget what happened.

 

With these words, I hope I bring some light on troubled souls.

 

Sources:

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201803/what-is-forgiveness-really

 

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

 

 

[OzYmandi 647]

A letter in rather beautiful hand writing is sent to the writer of this piece, it's sender identified by what seemed to be an alias...

 

"Good day, priestess Carsandra! This fine piece you've written and had the good-hearted will of sharing with the rest is astonishing, pure and wise in nature. I wish I could work with you, though time and condition disallow me. However, I avidly encourage you to continue producing such masterful pieces. -V"

[Vaynth 3005]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

If you feel this is a mistake, please contact myself or any FM and we'll restore it.