The Great Atlas Pumpkin Raid!

[NotEvilAtAll 10906]

Spoiler

 

[!] A small group of Pumpkin-wearing halflings are seen running around, spreading Spooktober cheer and handing out pumpkins and the blessings of Lord Knox for all.

The Great Atlas Pumpkin Raid!

They started off with but a measly 5 halflings wielding shovels and pumpkins. However, as is normal in these Pumpkin Raids, their numbers soon grew as they gained both fame and infamy in their journey across Southern Atlas

The first place to be visited by the Pumpkin Raiders was Belvitz. All of the Pumpkin Raiders swarmed into the tavern and preached the glories of their god Lord Knox. The bigguns didn’t take too kindly to this, and drew their blades and nearly killed the lot of ‘em, but thankfully through some talking they managed to save their pumpkin-heads!

 

From Belvitz they marched southwards, having gained a few followers in spite of the chaos. Through wind, rain, sleet, and hail, they marched on southwards, praying to their great Lord Knox all the while.

Eventually, after much hardship, the Pumpkin Raiders reached Carolustadt, the capital of the Empire of Man. They gathered up at the drawbridge and prepared their march inwards. They were met by a large mob of Anti-Knoxist humans booing at them and drawing their weapons, preparing to slaughter these heretics. However, nobody could justify any sort of massacre, since the Pumpkin Raiders were peaceful and only wanted to spread their pumpkins and Knoxween cheer to everyone. 

 

Sadly, there was a brief Pumpkin Civil-War on the bridge after the Pumpkin Raiders left the city, and most of the new recruits were pushed into the moat and either drowned or retired.

The Pumpkin Raiders marched ever further south, finally reaching the small encampment that is Courland. Since one of the Pumpkin Raiders had the keys to the camp, the raiders soon gained access. They shouted their Pumpkin-phrases and handed out cookies and pumpkins to all the Courlanders, yet they didn’t recruit a single new Pumpkin Raider there.

 

It had been a very long journey, yet the remaining Pumpkin Raiders still kept spirits high with a self-portrait painted by an anonymous painter in the middle of their trek southwards. While they had not fulfilled their goals of spreading Knoxism and pumpkins to all the bigguns just yet, they remained dogged in their vision of a glorious Knoxist utopia of free cake, pumpkins, cookies, and melons for all.

 

Suddenly, a tragedy occured. Petrus Fronder, one of the three Elders of Dunshire and a Pumpkin Raider, had been caught by the gates of Haense when the Pumpkin Raiders had been visiting the place! The pumpkin-wearing travelers pounded against the gates and shouted, but it was no use. Soon they were surrounded by the guard force of the City, and it appeared to be the end of the Pumpkin Raiders...

However, not all was lost, for out of the blue a random biggun with a pickaxe appeared and freed the poor ol’ Petrus Fronder! With a route away from the armed bigguns and the city shown to them, the Pumpkin Raiders soon escaped the city with their lives! It was a glorious day for Dunshire and the halflings, for they had managed to live!

 

Long Live Dunshire! Long Live Knox! Long Live Pumpkins! Long Live Spooktober!

 

-anonymous writer

[DISCOLIQUID 2702]

A wandering Elf, clad in copious green, smiles fondly upon reading the historical events of the Great Atlas Pumpkin Raid.