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Tonight's the Night

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Tonight’s the night

I take a bite

Of one hundred and fifteen grams of lead.

Suffocating dread,

Eternal bed;

No light ahead.


Tonight’s the night

I turn white

And ruin the lives of everyone around me.

Set me free

Into the black sea

And hear the wailing banshee.


Tonight’s the night

I end the blight

That is my existence upon this plane.

Splatter my brain,

Dry every vein,

Flush me down the drain.


Tonight’s the night

I recite

Your wicked name for the last time.

Toxic slime,

Your war crime.

You stole me at my prime.


Tonight’s the night

I write

My grievances on my skin.

Bloody chin,

Never win;

Null and void within.


Tonight’s the night

I fight

The instinct of self preservation for good.

Ruined boyhood.

“Never would.”

Always misunderstood.


Tonight’s the night,

You parasite,

I release the pain you filled me with.

Feeble wordsmith,

Black pith,

Forgotten with myth.


Shrink. Hide. Disappear.

Weak little *****.

You stole my flesh, left me bare.

A skeleton wrapped in skin; a tragic affair.

Emaciated. Starving. Thin.

Dark and unforgivable sin.

So much pain the vomit spilled.

Innocence crushed. Unfulfilled.

Like glass shards in every flexing muscle,

A fight was useless. You knew how to tussle.

Stop. Please stop.

Crushing. On top.


Shame. Shame. Shame.

The family name…


Shame of the bloodline. Burden; weight;

Never say. Silence is my fate.


My gut is a hungry abyss

Ready to be filled by your kiss

Of punches, thrusts, and slaps

So I can digest your pain. Thought traps

Lock me in my wretched body

That you defiled. Please, somebody

Hear me. Help me. I can’t go on

I’d rather starve. Woebegone.

Every scar and forgotten bruise

Were masked by lies to keep the ruse

That I was fine. I’m fine.

Peachy. Great. Cloud Nine.


Can an eight year old ask for it?

Was it what I wore? How I submit?

You filled me with your suffering

And left my brain buffering,

Trying to process the thought

That I was just meat you liked a lot.


So now I plead; “sleep take me,

Let me flee.”

The sleep, baby,

Dreamless, maybe?

Or will your haunt me there too?

Will it be nothing new?

Night terrors and sweat,

Dripping wet, I fret,

“Please take me from this place.”

I am a disgrace.


Shrink. Hide. Disappear.

Weak little *****.


A little more material if you like

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