The Kajun Ker - Dark Elven Cookery

[Dakirennis 959]

KFC
The Ker’s Favourite Cuisine

 

 A guide to some basic old home dark elven cookery.

 

From hunters to house-mothers, the ‘Ker have had a knack for the culinary. Always enjoying delicious food no matter the meal. This is a small compendium recipes I compiled during my ventures into the Ancestral Plane. Delilah the Mother and other elders of ages gone offering what they could to comfort their kin from the other side.

 

 

The Talar’onn, the large, aloof lizards of the deep have ever been faithful companions to the ‘Ker of the deep. And of course, a wonderful source of fine cuts and hearty bones! Traditionally the heavy, thick hided lizards have been cultivated for years but now they’ve hand they years to get a little snaky and bred some ferocity. So they require a few good shots to the back or head to bring down. Hunters take heed, what these beasts lack in eyesight they make up for with their sense of smell and hearing. Keep a quiet foot and make sure your hunting hollow has no steam vents that may make a breeze. Once dispatched and cleaned, the loins and rump are brined in a mixture of salt and cave shoot sugar for a day. Once removed from the liquid, the fatty side is scored before roasting for about four hours and rubbed with a butter and herb mixture towards the end of cooking. 

 

 

 

The Cave Kuku. The small simply poultry, cousin to it’s above world dwelling is a favorite among the ‘Ker. Fried usually being the preferred method of cooking. Many wayward Ker travelling the depths to hunt would fry these up quickly on an oiled slate cooking stone, eating a small delicious meal on the go so as not to attract something larger than them… To begin, heat your stone and place a second, heavier slate at the edge of the flame to begin heating as well. After you’ve gutted and cleaned the bird (Stepping on the wings and pulling the legs slowly is a quick method to pulling the skin off the bird with it’s feathers in tow!), remove the spine with your hunting knife and flatten the bird. Take your firesalts and rub it onto both sides of the bird before oiling and placing breast side down onto your cooking stone. Place your secondary slate atop your chicken to flatten it and applying more heat to it’s back side. If your stones are heated properly, this should only take a few minutes at most to cook the whole bird, always check to make sure the meat is completely white and the juices are clear!

 

 

Deep molluscs’ cling to the walls for particularly moist caverns, regardless of the temperature. They can be found in small clusters roughly the size of a small rug, the shells growing as big as your palm. What’s inside isn’t much but full of flavour, so grab plenty! Once you bring your loot home, find a nice pan and give it a thin coating of oil before bringing it to a high heat. Add some minced garlic and as it turns a golden brown, add enough molluscs to fill the pan and give it a good shake. Your molluscs should begin to open almost immediately, add a generous splash of warm, high elven white wine to the pan (mind the flames!) and finally cover them with an old pie tin to allow the steam to build in the pan. Remain on a high heat till they are fully opened and cooked, there should be no clear or slimy bits! Served in a large bowl with the pan juices poured atop it for large gatherings.

 

 

Three Mushroom Fry

The far reaches of the deep offer many types of edible and poisonous fungi and while the list may be endless, this was a common recipe I found in my travels. So here is a delicious home meal featuring three, very safe and common mushrooms of the deep.

 

Dawn Trumpet - These tall stemmed mushrooms grow in the lights of bright crystals and tall glowing, mushroom trees. They are usually found in small patches around the brightest points of light. They are very sweet and hold a lot of moisture. They can even be eaten raw if you can stomach the stringy texture!

Table Malachite - Often dismissed as moss patches, table malachite coats the walls of many damp caverns. They are flaky and soft when cooked and their taste is somewhat salty but otherwise neutral. They do however absorb flavour very well and offer a nice texture difference to your meal. 

Dwarfs Toe - Smelled before seen, these bulbus fungi dot the rocks near underground lakes. They are large and hearty, usually one being more than enough as they can grow to the size of halfling’s head! Always add these to your pan first and cook first as they are rather tough and rubbery to the bite when raw. They taste rather tangy and earthy raw, but brings out a natural spiciness when cooked thoroughly. 

 

Now that you know what you’re looking for, oil and heat your pan atop your stove or fire until it begins to smoke very lightly. Add your dwarfs toe first, cooking for about two minutes before adding your table malachite and dawn trumpet. Season with salt, pepper, and a dash of fire spices and cook for about five to eight minutes. You can also add some of your meats before your mushrooms or dried meats at the end for an even heartier meal.
 

 

[Catostrophy 111]

”What did that guar ever do to you, outlander? You n’wah!”