A Full Guide to Meditation and 'The Self'

[Maury 411]

 

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自我概念 (Zìwǒ gàiniàn)

 

The image you have of yourself is known as your self-concept, which consists of your feelings and thoughts about your strengths and weaknesses; your abilities and limitations; and your aspirations and worldview. In Hua-Jiao, ‘the self’ is taught as being impersonal, meaning that it is not influenced by, showing, or involving personal feelings. Be this as it may, Máodùn teaches one to contradict this view in order to help understand how the self may truly be. This view of yourself develops from at least four sources based on the concept of the ‘looking-glass self’, or Jìngxiàng zìwǒ (镜像自我).

 

In separate, more philosophical terms, the impermanence of ‘the self’ can be said to hold true to one’s body. As we grow our bodies and minds change, and the condition of the body can have certain effects on the mind. To say ‘my mind is held within my body, but does not belong to it’ might be one way to look at it, and one could surmise that their appearance does not fully define who they are. If you took the mind of a frog and put it in a bird, it would still be the same frog with the exception that it looks like a bird.

 

OTHERS’ IMAGE OF YOU: The image of you that others have and that they reveal to you.

• According to the concept of the looking-glass self, you would look at the image of yourself that others reveal to you through their behaviors, and especially through the way they treat you and react to you.

 

COMPARISONS WITH OTHERS: The comparisons that you make between yourself and others.

• When you want to gain insight into who you are and how effective or competent you are, you probably look to your peers.

 

CULTURAL TEACHINGS: The teachings of your culture.

• Through your parents, teachers, and mentors, your culture instills in you a variety of beliefs, values, and attitudes - about how success is defined and achieved; about your religion, ethnicity or nationality; and about the ethical principles you should follow in business and in your personal life.

 

SELF EVALUATIONS: The way you interpret and evaluate your own thoughts and behaviors.

• Just as others form impressions of you based on what you do, you react to your own behavior; interpreting and evaluating it. These interpretations and evaluations help to form your self-concept.

 

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自我意识 (Zìwǒ yìshí)

 

Your self-awareness represents the extent to which you know yourself, how capable you are of being able to reflect on who you are. Understanding how your self-concept develops is one way to increase your self-awareness: the more you understand about why you view yourself as you do, the better you will understand who you are. Additional insight is gained by looking at self-awareness through the model of your “four selves”.

 

一 The open self represents all the information, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, desires, motivations, and ideas that you and others know.

 

二 The blind self represents all the things about yourself that others know but of which you are ignorant.

 

三 The hidden self represents all that you know of yourself that you keep hidden.

 

四 The unknown self represents truths about yourself that neither you nor others know of.

 

 

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An artists depiction of Hualian when he realized the Four Truths.

 

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自我意识的增强 (Zìwǒ yìshí de zēngqiáng)

 

One way of growing in one’s self-awareness is to ask “Who am I?” and reflect on everything about yourself that is known - the open self. On a piece of paper, write a heading of “Who am I?” and write “I am…” ten to fifteen or even twenty different things that you are. What’s most important in this exercise is to try and write things that aren’t exclusively positive or socially acceptable; respond with whichever comes to mind.

 

On the second piece of paper make two separate headings of “Strengths” and “Weaknesses”, filling each column with as many attributes or personality traits in a span of five minutes.

 

Finally, on the third piece of paper titled “Self-Improvement Goals”, complete the statement “I want to improve my…” as many times as you can in five minutes. Because you are constantly changing, these self-perceptions and goals also change.

 

In each step of this exercise, remember the “four selves” as you go along and consider the following when actively trying to learn about yourself:

• Listen to others, paying close attention to verbal and nonverbal information.
• Actively seek information about yourself, without of course seeking it constantly lest your friends seek others with whom to interact.
• See your different selves, visualizing how you are seen by your mother, father, teachers, best friends, strangers you meet in the street or on the road, employers, and even your neighbors.
• Increase your open self, discussing who you are to enable connections that you had previously missed. By increasing the open self, you increase the likelihood that a meaningful and intimate dialogue will develop that will enable you to get to know yourself better.

 

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自尊心 (Zìzūnxīn)

 

Self-esteem is a measure of how valuable you think you are. If you have high self-esteem, you think highly of yourself; while if you have low self-esteem, you view yourself negatively. The basic idea behind this concept is that when you feel good about yourself - about who you are and what you are capable of doing - you will perform better.

 

Thinking like a success…

When you think like a success, as being successful and performing successful things; you are more likely to act like a success

 

Thinking like a failure…

Conversely, when you think like a failure, see yourself as a failure, and perceive yourself as being capable only of failing at anything you do; you are more likely to act like a failure.

 

Interestingly enough, your self-esteem seems to influence the method of communication you choose. For example, if you have low self-esteem you are more likely to prefer sending messages via bird, whereas if you have high self-esteem, you are more likely to prefer face-to-face interactions - at least in situations involving some degree of interpersonal risk.

 

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倾听 (Qīngtīng)

 

There is a five-stage process of (1) receiving, (2) understanding, (3) remembering, (4) evaluating, and (5) responding to verbal and/or nonverbal messages. Listening involves a collection of skills that work together at each of these five stages, and can go wrong at any stage -- and by the same token you can enhance your listening abilities by strengthening the skills needed for each step of the process of ‘listening’.

 

(一) Receiving - 接收 (Jiēshōu)

The following suggestions should help you receive messages more effectively:

• Focus attention on the speaker’s verbal and nonverbal messages, on both what is said and what is not said, rather than on how you’ll respond.
• Maintain your role as listener, and avoid interrupting the speaker until they have finished.
• Avoid assuming that you understand what the speaker is going to say before he or she actually says it.

 

(二) Understanding - 理解 (Lǐjiě)

A large part of your ‘listening career’ will take place in the classroom, at a job interview, social activities, and when interacting with new people.

• See the speaker’s message from the speaker’s point of view. Avoid judging the message until you’ve fully understood it -- as the speaker intended it.
• Rephrase or paraphrase the speaker’s ideas in your own words to gain a more complete understanding of the speaker’s intended message.
• Ask questions to clarify or to secure additional details or examples if necessary.

 

(三) Remembering - 记住 (Jì zhù)

• Focus your attention on the central ideas. Even in the most casual conversation, there are central ideas. Fix these in your mind; avoiding focusing on minor details, which often lead to detours in listening and in conversation.
• Organize what you hear; summarize the message in a more easily retained form, and chunk the messages into categories; for example, if you want to remember 15 or 20 items to buy at the market, you will remember more if you group them into chunks -- say, produce, canned goods, and meats.
• Unite the new with the old; relate new info to what you already know. Avoid treating new information as totally apart from all else you know. There’s probably some relationship, and if you identify it, you’re more likely to remember the new info.
• Repeat names and key concepts to yourself or, if appropriate, aloud. By repeating the names or key concepts, you rehearse them and, as a result, learn and remember them. If you are introduced to a man named Johnathan, you will stand a better chance of remembering his name if you say, “Hello, Johnathan” than if you were to simply say “Hi.”

 

(四) Evaluating - 评估 (Pínggū)

When evaluating people’s messages, it can consist of conscious/unconscious judgments or assumptions of the underlying intent. In evaluating:

• Resist the urge to evaluate until you fully understand the speaker’s point of view.
• Assume that a speaker is a person of goodwill. Give the speaker the benefit of the doubt by asking for clarification on issues that you feel you must object to.
• Distinguish facts from opinions and personal interpretations and identify any biases, self-interests, or prejudices that may lead the speaker to slant unfairly what is presented.

 

(五) Responding - 回应 (Huíyīng)

This occurs in two forms: (1) responses you make while the speaker is talking and (2) responses you make after the speaker has stopped talking.

• Express support and understanding for the speaker throughout the conversation.
• Use varied cues that say “I’m listening” (for example, nodding, using appropriate verbal gestures such as saying “I see”...).
• Own your own responses; that is, state your thoughts and feelings as your own, using “I-messages” -- for example, saying “I don’t agree” rather than “No-one will agree with that.”
• Avoid the common problem-causing listening responses such as being static or overly expressive, giving feedback that is monotonous and not responsive to the messages, avoiding eye contact, or appearing preoccupied.

 

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冥想 (Míngxiǎng)

 

A watercolor painting of a Hou-Zi meditating.

 

To clear one’s mind, you must focus on nothing but the sounds around them and sensations of their body. The flow of water, the groaning of wind-swept branches, the breath that leaves their body; their aches, their sores, the wind on their face.

 

Once you have achieved focus, maintain a steady breath while counting each throughout; placing your attention on your breath as it comes in, and follow it through your nose all the way down to your lungs. To maintain focus, keep your eyes closed while feeling your surroundings with the senses left to you: touch, smell, and hearing. Smell the air that surrounds you, feel the body in which your mind resides, listen to the constant movement of your environment. When thoughts or feelings arise, and they will, you might try staying with them awhile. We tend to want to avoid feelings like frustration, anger, or anxiety… But feel free to stay with these feelings for a while, and be curious about these feelings.

 

As you first settle into your meditation session, simply check to see how you are feeling with an open-aired question. How does my body feel? What is the quality of my mind? Do I feel busy, tired, anxious? Answer to yourself whatever you are bringing to this meditation session, assuring yourself that these feelings are without consequence.

When you notice thoughts and feelings arising during meditation, as they will, look at them with a friendly attitude. See them as friends, not intruders or enemies. They are a part of you, though not all of you. Be friendly and not harsh. Your being is as an absolute territory, one that you should explore and master in order to understand what you are.

 

Meditation is not about focusing your attention, it is about learning how your mind works. By watching your mind wander, get frustrated, or avoid difficult feelings, you can start to understand yourself; as there is no feeling that comes to mind which is unwarranted. As you get to know yourself, do it with a friendly attitude instead of one of criticism. You are getting to know a friend, so smile and give yourself this peace of mind.

 

外表【Wàibiǎo】

花轿的僧和老师 - Huājiào de sēng hé lǎoshī

Huajiao Monk & Teacher

 

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A likeness of the calligraphy found throughout the scroll.

 

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the visual or auditory mediums in this post.

 

[garentoft 9265]

Lauritz studies with great vigor. “How interesting! I must delve into this myself.”

[Nozgoth 3083]

Jiejue nods a few times in approval, before feasting his eyes on the scroll.