Ozzyk's Second Application

[Ozzyk 0]

u]Out-Of-Character:

-Minecraft Account Name:Ozzyk

-How old are you?:15

-Time-Zone/Country of Residence: Norway

-Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?:Yes

-Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself:I am friendly and get many freinds fast. I am often in and dont go at any sports so i have a lot of free tme. So i can play a lot on the server

-How much time could you be on the server weekly?:I tink 10-14 hours

-How long have you played minecraft?:Sinc the first uppdate after alpha

-What do you know about roleplaying? How long have you been doing it? What kind?:I now a lot of roleplaying.

-What do you expect this server will be like?:Toltaly AMAZING!

-What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?:I have played on Client craft server but i quited cuz i found this.

-Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules? What about the lore?:Yes i have read the rules and Lore and i agree all

-Name the 4 races on this server. Human, Dwarf, Elf, Orc, Undead

-How did you hear about us?:True youtube

-Did you vote?:Yes i did

-What was your favourite Law?: (you must use the server charicter skind depending on race)

-What was your least favourite Law?:I dont know

-What is your The Lord Of Craft forum account name?Ozzyk

In-Character:

-Character Name:Ozzyk

-What is your Race?: Dwarf

-Lordofthecraft.net/forum forum account:Ozzyk

-Biography:I am a 22 years old man and i was digging in a mountain when i hit on a portal. A hand came out and took me in to the portal and i was in prison for 1 week and i finaly got out and got true the portal and i was told that it was the undead that had captured me. I wanted to have revenge some time...

-Character Age:22 years old

-Character Appearance: Looks like a normale dwarf with light brown beard and black eyes

-Character Personality: Helps peepol thats inn need but is hunger by war and beer

-Your ambitions:To destroy the Undeads

-Can your character read or write?:Yes

-Can your character mine?:Yes very good cuz his a dwarf

-Are you a capable builder?Yes

-Can you wield a sword?:Yes

-Enjoy Farming?:Little but not much

-Does your character have any special skills?:]His very good with a bow

-A screenshot of your skin:I still dont know how to do that

-Other Information:[/b

[Aeolwyn The Elf 139]

DENIED

[Atrus 1]

[insert Ozzyk's Second App here]

Alright Ozzyk, first thing is first. Work on proofreading your application before you submit it to the application forum. Some moderators take this seriously *cough*Mylas*cough*.

On top of that, we want to see that you can roleplay your character more by introducing his backstory into Aegis. Many characters want to rid the Undead, but instead of blatantly saying, "I want to destroy the Undead", set your ambition to something your character can do realistically. He can't outmatch the Undead by himself and without some help from other denizens, he's just as good as dead. Justify in your biography that your character has the downright potential to be a protector of Aegis...fighting for the good.

As I mentioned from the start, grammar. It seems to me like you rushed through the app to get the second approval of a moderator so you can start your adventure. Im sure of that. You need to work on a longer more thorough biography of your character. If the biography doesnt catch the reader's attention, it's no good to anyone else that reads it as well. It would be wise to re-read your app and add some extra boost of creativity. Include some pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses, detailed also.

For character appearance, explain more in depth what the dwarf looks like, because other than the fact that all dwarves look like Honeydew, you want your character to stick out like a sore thumb and be the unique one that you want him to be. In addition to the remaining questionnaires, build a unique profile that will make any Forum Moderator do a double-take on your app.