559 Haeseni Snailula One Championship Conclusion

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Spoiler

 

 

 

559 HAESENI SNAILULA ONE CHAMPIONSHIP

CHAMPIONSHIP CONCLUSION

INCLUDING

NOVKURSAIN AND LESANOV GRAND PRIX SUMMARIES

 

 

Issued by

THE HAESENI FEDERATION OF SNAIL RACING

Naf zwy 2nd hag i Tov ag Yermey i 572 E.S.

 

 

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NOVKURSAIN GRAND PRIX RACE SUMMARY

Our final venture outside of the New Valdev took us to the lands of Novkursain, home to House Weiss, though some “circumstances” involving their keep meant that the race was instead held by the local lake. The exhaustion of the season had been hitting the snails and their racers hard, and only eight were able to make a start for us.

 

It was pole position for Tomasz Karoswald and Snail Slowuel Slimegio, who commanded quite a lead in the championship, with 31 points down to second place. Dima Kortrevich and Mozzasnaila qualified second, and Robert Ludovar with Turboculosis (V) would start third.

 

An interesting start to the race, as Snail Slowuel Slimegio and Mikhaila Colborn’s Carlos Snailz ducked in for an early pitstop largely unprompted. But with the exception of Anaksandr Amador and Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff, it was tight at the front for the lead, switching between the likes of Snail Slowuel Slimegio, Robert Ludovar and Turboculosis (V), Carlos Snailz, and Mozzasnaila.

 

King Joren and Exalted Slugismund would also make an appearance, though they arrived late and would go on to play catchup for most of the race, though this would matter little to the determined snail, for they would not finish last in this race.

 

Around the halfway point of the race, Snail Slowuel Slimegio, who had been one of the most consistent snails of the season, with an average finish of close to third, and yet to not finish a race, spun out some time after a pitstop, ending in the barriers, and crashing out for the first time this season.

 

This meant that the remaining Championship contenders of Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff and Carlos Snailz needed to capitalise on this race if they were to bring the fight to Snail Slowuel Slimegio in the finale.

 

After a long safety snail, the snails were pretty bunched up behind it, heading into the final zig-zag part of the track. And it was Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff, who had managed to catch up during the safety snail, who managed to cross the finish line first, for a third consecutive race, just as Mozzasnaila crashed out.

 

A second safety snail came out, and after its conclusion it was Turboculosis who would take home second place, making up for their previous streak of crashes. Carlos Snailz brought it home in third, marking another great result for the S-Ladies.

 

Queen Nadya had a pretty anonymous race, though she would yet manage a fourth place. Ser Andrei and Snaile Earnhardt somehow, and we at the HFSR are not quite sure, finished sixth, which meant he was overtaken by Exalted Slugismund, who had shown up late, and took home fifth.

 

With these results in mind, only Snail Slowuel Slimegio (113 points) and Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff (105 points) are in the championship fight heading into the final race. Carlos Snailz (86 points) is assured of, at least, third place.

 

The Teams’ Championship will not be contested into the final race, for the S-Ladies (191 points), consisting of Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff and Carlos Snailz, have created such a gap to second placed Snailderia Crowsari (139 points), consisting of Snail Slowuel Slimegio and Lightning McKoenas, that it is mathematically impossible for them to lose the Teams’ Championship.

 

LESANOV GRAND PRIX RACE SUMMARY

The final race of the season, the King or Queen of Snailula One would be crowned, and what more fitting place for that to be concluded than in the very throne room of the Kastell Lesanov. An intense championship would see its end here, Tomasz Karoswald versus Anaksandr Amador - Snail Slowuel Slimegio versus Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff. This would be the grand finale.

 

Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff came off of a three consecutive wins, while Snail Slowuel Slimegio had crashed in the previous Novkursain Grand Prix. Yet, it was Snail Slowuel Slimegio who showed their winning intent first, qualifying on pole position.

 

Behind Snail Slowuel Slimegio would qualify Queen Nadya and Elizaveta Cargot in second, and Dame Dima raced a brand new snail …Frederik Otto Kortrevich…? (this contestant is currently under investigation, due to suspicions raced by teams that this may indeed have been a human baby) in third. After qualifying, however, Dame Dima was indisposed due to a diplomatic meeting, and racing was handled by the Beautiful Barbara Heidyr.

 

Snail Slowuel Slimegio had a terrible start to the race, which saw them immediately dumped to a battle for last place against… Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff. It seemed that the two championship contenders had decided to have a slug off.

 

Beautiful Barbara Heidyr took a fairly dominant lead on behalf of Dame Dima, though they were tailed by the returning Sosina Colborn and Goomy (the HFSR cannot express in words the joys of seeing Sosina Colborn return, she was always a favourite of ours). 

 

Snail Slowuel Slimegio and Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff scrapped behind in an intense and ruthless battle to not finish this race last, while the rest of the grid pulled ahead. Then, suddenly, into turn three, Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff carried too much speed into the corner, and crashed into the barriers. Their first crash of the season, and at exactly the wrong time.

 

There was now nothing that could be done, Snail Slowuel Slimegio would become Champion, regardless of where or whether they finished this race. Three long safety snails allowed, in fact, Snail Slowuel Slimegio to catch up to the rest of the pack, or what remained of it.

 

Mikhaila Colborn and Carlos Snailz, who had been in the fight for the lead, crashed on their way out of the pitstops immediately after a safety snail release, which had been caused by a crash from Elizaveta Cargot.

 

Goomy would take a triumphant and dominant win in their final race of the season. Despite their poor start, Snail Slowuel Slimegio, the eternal second place, would take home second once again this season. And Barbara Heidyr led Dame Dima’s snail to a third place finish.

FINAL STANDINGS

As it stands, the Snails’ Championship Standings are as follows:

1st - Tomasz Karoswald and Snail Slowuel Slimegio - 131 points. (CHAMPION)

2nd - Anaksandr Amador and Shellnon Slugaine de Snailstaff - 105 points.

3rd - Mikhaila Colborn and Carlos Snailz - 86 points.

4th - Princess Milena and Snailvan VIII - 82 points.

5th - King Joren and Exalted Slugismund - 48 points.

6th - Dame Dima and Frederik Otto Kortrevich - 46 points.

7th - Princess Nadya and Elizaveta Cargot (III) - 44 points.

8th - Robert Ludovar and Turboculosis (III) - 43 points.

9th - Sosina Colborn and Goomy - 37 points.

10th - Prince Aleksandr and S’Nail var Slimaki - 27 points.

11th - King Karl and Lightning McKoenas - 26 points.

12th - Sergei var Ruthern and Slimealicious - 25 points.

13th - Ser Andrei and Snaile Earnhardt - 24 points.

14th - Nóruiel and Slimelda the Swift - 19 points.

15th - Patriarch Alaric and Escarsepsis - 18 points.

16th - Azerdel and Fluffy - 18 points.

17th - Daisy and Snuddy - 15 points.

19th - Thorim and Drorg - 15 points.

20th - Kazimir Weiss and Breakneck - 14 points.

21st - Sophia and Ikur Seregon - 12 points.

22nd - Mieszko and the Cursed Creature - 12 points.

23rd - Isurus and Vallei - 10 points.

24th - Princess Isabel and Swift Foot - 10 points.

25th - Vasilia Barrow and Madame Mucinda - 1 point.

26th - Alric var Ruthern and Herobrine - 0 points.

27th - Olyena Ivanovich and Parrot - 0 points.

 

As it stands, the Teams’ Championship Standings are as follows:

1st - The S-Ladies - 191 points. (CHAMPIONS)

2nd - Snailderia Crowsari - 157 points.

3rd - SR Galaharing - 136 points.

4th - Force Alban - 92 points.

5th - KTSR Kvaszian Turbo SR - 71 points.

6th - Drima - 70 points.

7th - GG Escargals - 20 points.