Paneramans 3Rd Application (Fixes)

[paneraman 0]

Minecraft Account Name:paneraman

Did you attend minecon and sign up at the LOTC booth?:No

How old are you?:13

Time-Zone/Country of Residence:Eastern, unites states of america.

Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?:Yes

Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself: I am 5ft 4in tall male with dirty blonde hair who is funny and is never mad. I am a good singer, I am a huge War game fan, and I also enjoy most RPGs. I play most Sandbox games Minecraft, Terraria ,Gmod ext. I enjoy most music, other than Country.

How much time could you be on the server weekly?: 10-30 Hours.

What do you know about Roleplaying? Give a definition of what it means to you.:Roleplaying is acting out annother

role of life, it is a chance to be someone else that you allways wanted to be.

In your own Words, describe what Metagaming and Powergaming are.

Metagaming - Acting un-fair like or not in rule, Acting as if you had godly powers or saying you can pick any lock.

Powergaming - Forceing your role onto annother person.

What do you expect this server will be like?:I expect this server to be a fun, exciting, thrilling, Role playing server with many options.

What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?:I have been on Our-Craft and i have not left it i have only taken a break.

Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules?:Yes

How did you hear about us?:From my friend: huskyboy2k10

Have you voted for the Lord of the Craft on Minestatus? Which vote number were you? Yes. My vote number is 621.

What is your The Lord Of Craft forum account name?:paneraman

In-Character:

Character Name:Grayson Hennington

What is your Race?:Human

Biography(This should include the history of your character and his life as well as age, appearance and personality, etc.):

Grayson Hennington

Grayson is a 18 year old Tall young man, Grayson has Dirty Blond hair and Sea blue eyes that could make anyone listen to him.

Grayson allways has on clothing with Weights in them to make himself faster.

Day of Death

Grayson's parents were killed when he was young so Grayson doesn't know alot about them. He was raised by his Grandfather

on a farm with his brother Tyler. When Grayson was young he found a hurt Dog ,He treated its wounds and took care of it.

He named the dog Darthal, One day when Grayson was 12 He was attacked by a Group of Spiders and Darthal jumped up to protect

it's master . In the end Darthal Was dead and Grayson was heart broken.

Death allways Comes twice.

When Grayson turned 18 he was helping his brother move the Animals into a Fenced off area untill they

heard there Grandfather Yell. Grayson and Tyler Ran up the front of the house to see There Grandfather Dead on the ground

with a Tall Brown haired bandit with a Diamond Blade standing above him.

Tyler Grabbed Graysons Arm and Ran. All Grayson could remember was getting shot with an arrow then he blacked out.

Its Time..

Grayson Woke up inside of what seemed to be a Inn with a Man sitting next to him. before Grayson could say anything Tyler woke up

aswell. Grayson got up to see his brother again and Tyler Smiled at Grayon and the man next to him.

Your characters ambitions:To start a Guild for killing bandits.

Out in the Wilds, your character comes across a small cottage. Outside, there appears to be an elf struggling combat with two bandits. What does your character do?

I would help the elf by running at the bandits using strategic methods to try and disarm the bandits attacking the elf then after disarming them i would ask them questions on why they attacked this elf then after interrogation i would ask if the elf needed any help with tasks or just basic protection.

Your character walks up to a shop in a quiet market. "Hello, my good sir!" says the shop owner. "What may I help you with today?" How does your character answer?

I would hail him saying "good day sir do you happen to have any supplies for me on my journey or perhaps to help my brother on his farm".

A screenshot of your skin:http://imageshack.us...0129093019.png/

Other Information:My brother is: huskyboy2k10

[James Undercroft 129]

Your application has been:

Do not worry though; this does not mean you cannot apply again, quite the contrary! After two hours you may apply again which gives you plenty of time to fix up your application, plan it out as well as use all of this advice which I have given you in this post to make your application one of the best. Please check the links at the bottom of this post, they will help you so much.

This is why you were denied:

Your definition for metagaming was incorrect.

What you have written is an alternate definition for powergaming which we do not accept for a powergaming definition. Luckily for you there are plenty of ways to learn the correct definition. First of all you can look on the lord of the craft wiki and then search for "Metagaming", you can join our Team Speak channel (You can get Team Speak from http://teamspeak.com/?page=downloads ), or you can do a google search.

The definition for powergaming could do with some improvement.

Right now I believe it is worded incorrectly, as it is not a "Role" per se that is being forced onto the other person more something with your character does to another involving forcing them to do something. I suggest looking on the Lord of the Craft wiki to find out the correct definition.

Your biography could do with a lot of improvement.

Please include the entire question when writing your biography such as your characters history, personality, description and age. With the description don’t just write He is tall and old and carries around a bow. There are a lot of tall, old people who carry around bows. Get descriptive; what is your hair colour? How long? Eye colour? Big eyes? Small eyes? Do you have wrinkles? How tall are you? Are you muscled or slim but agile?

You also need to add your characters strengths and weaknesses as well as reasons for such. For example, if your character is good at swordsmanship, bows or even farming you need to explain in your biography why your character is so good in what it does and how it developed these skills.

We would like you to include some lore from the world of Aegis and/or Asulon such as names of towns and people, or even events which have happened before and your characters connection to the event. You can find all about the lore of Lord of the Craft here: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page,'>http://www.lordofthecraft.net/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page, or in the lore/history sections of the forum and website. The types of lore you can include can people places such as towns and kingdoms, or even people or events (such as the exodus from Aegis to Asulon which affected almost everyone).

The answers to the RP situation questions need a lot of improvement.

Instead of writing it like "I would do this, then I would try to do that, then this would happen.", write it like:

Zolgash would pull out his axe and bellow at the bandits. "Leave that elf alone scum, or you will taste my steel."

See the difference? I would also like you to write more realisticly, it would be hard if not impossible to just "disarm" two bandits. You would obviously become hurt in some way or another in the struggle, perhaps you even loose the fight?

Even the second one, everyone (and I mean everyone) just writes that they buy something, and leave. What is that? It shows a lack of effort in my opinion. All you have to do is use your imagination, create something innovative, exciting and fun for the reader. There are endless possibilities, for example you could write that the shop keeper is actually a bandit who is luring victims into his shop and then he gets his thug friends to come in from the rear to block your escape, or perhaps the shop keeper tries to cheat you of an item and you respond by calling the guards and something exciting happens. The possibilities are endless; all you have to do is be creative.

The link to your skin is broken, and it was not embedded.

Please follow this tutorial to embed and upload your skin to this website.

1. Go in-game and press the “F5” button TWICE. (Not once as this will show the back of your character)

2. Take a screen shot by pressing the "PrntScr" button on a windows computer or press F2 on the keyboard, then go to start => Run and type in this: %appdata%/.minecraft/screenshots

3. Find the screenshot and open it in an image manipulation program such as Paint or Gimp.4. Crop the image so that only the area close to your skin (including the skin) remains.

5. Save the file and go to tinypic.com

6. Upload the file

7. Click ONCE on the text box underneath: "IMG Code for Forums & Message Boards"

8. Right click and copy the entire text

9. Paste in your new application

*Note* If you want a tutorial for Macs, please send me a message on the forums.

Please wait 2 hours or your application will be instantly denied.

This gives you a chance to have a cup of tea and read all of which I have provided.

Please do send a PM my way if you are having any trouble understanding the application process or my feedback, I would be glad to help you. :)

Good luck for your next application!

Here is some further reading material that can help you get accepted:

To understand the questions being asked better look here: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/34777-in-depth-analysis-of-the-application-form/

The guide of a Game Master to accepted server applications:

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/13144-petyrs-guide-to-accepted-server-applications/

Tips to definitely include on your application:

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/19145-tips-to-include-on-your-application/

A must-read guide to the world of aegis:

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/9868-an-extensive-guide-to-the-world-of-aegis

How to avoid role-playing as a terrible character:

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/27643-how-to-avoid-making-a-mary-suegary-stu/

All the lore of the world of Aegis:

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page

Information about the skills system:

http://lordofthecraft.net/wiki/index.php?title=Skill_Information

F.A.Q of Application submissions:

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/30081-application-submissions-faq-proper-etiquette/

[James Undercroft 129]

Moved to Denied Forum