[Denied][Elf] Autumnellie's Application

[AutumnEllie 2]

Minecraft Account Name: AutumnEllie
How old are you?: 13
Time-Zone: Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) 
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?: Yes. I've read them a few times, just to be sure.
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?: I've been on roleplaying sites, so I think I have quite a vast knowledge on it.
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: From friends who also go on.
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server: http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/832121-the-lord-of-the-craft-enter-the-world-of-anthos-officially-t-h-e-1-roleplay-server/page__st__2940
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above): Yes
Have you read the Elven lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: I have not been able to read the lore as the websites seem to not work, however I have several friends who play as elves and they have helped me.

Definitions:

Role-playing: To act and speak in a certain way, as a certain character.
Meta-gaming: Using knowledge someone has gained oocly to use icly, example, 'Fred is in teamspeak and a few people plan to raid a town, Fred decides to tell the owners for a reward and to foil this plan.'
Power-emoting:  A 'god emote'. Usually used by people who want to win and hate losing. For example - 'Steve pickpocketed Lee' - 'Lee stabs Steve until he is dead'. An emote which means the other player cannot respond, because they are in the situation where their character could not do anything (being killed instantly)

Character Information:


Full Name: Kalina Tiagara
Current Age: 26
Sub-race (if any): Dark elf
Past / History :  Born into slavery, Kalina loved her parents, and they did everything to keep her safe. Though, at the tender age of 6, her mother, growing wary of the slavery, attempted to escape. Kalina saw her mother get taken away, and hasn't seen her since. Her father, however, is living happily in the woodlands. Since loosing her mother, Kalina has grown quieter, more shut off to the world. However, after the slavery ended, Kalina only ten, wanted to set off alone. Her father prevented her from doing so, but that didnt keep Kalina from running away, days, weeks, and sometimes months at a time, sending no word if she was still alive, her father often worried about her but she always found her way home.

When Kalina turned 19, she received her first bow, and instantly, found it easy to use. A skill, which did pass down to many generations of elf. Although she wishes to become a master in the art of Archery, she often finds herself misplacing her shots as she had no real teacher to say what she does wrong, her style is crude but effective.

Ambitions for the Future: Wishes to become a master in Archery.
Personality: Kalina has a short temper, and it doesnt take much to make her angry. She does have a heart, but doesnt like to show her soft side, as she doesnt want to be seen as 'weak'. Can be quite smarmy, and sly.
Skills: Archery, Cooking, 
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): Black hair, and blue eyes. Wears elven armour. - http://i.imgur.com/Qp2cGy1.jpg
Any other details you wish to share about your character: N/A

Open-Response-Questions


As you walk through the deep forests you hear the sound of whispering and snickering. Upon inspection you realize that a group of older elves are mocking a small elven child. How do you react?

Answer: I would watch them as they taunt him, but not intervene as older elves can be dangerous. Instead, I throw an apple at one of them as it hits him on the head, he turns and looks around in anger. They all head towards where I stand,  I decide it may be a good time to run, after a few minutes of running and almost falling over, I hear the angry voices fading I then decide to head back into the same direction to see how the boy is, after a while I find the boy sitting on the ground looking quite sorry for himself. I give him a sly half smile before kicking the apple on the floor towards him, he looks up while picking up the apple before looking up and smiling at me. I then head off in the direction of my home.

Whilst wandering through the Elven forests you come across a frail old man with a walking stick. He collapses in front of you, falling to the ground with a sharp thud. Out of his pocket falls a small pouch of gold coins, which hits the ground and splits open spreading coins across the pathway. The man lies there, defenseless - what do you do?

Answer: I would help him, but keep my hand at my knife . You can't trust anyone, and it could simply be a disguise. I would ****** a few gold coins for myself, and gather the rest in a pile. I would then rummage through my bag, and put them in an empty pouch, helping the man up, and passing the bag to him. Hopefully, he wont notice I've taken a few of the coins. I can then continue on my journey, looking back just to make sure.


Whilst traversing the Elven Woodlands, you come across a small clearing in which a colored carriage sits. A trader stands outside of it and calls you over, telling you of his wares. He points out that his carriage sells just about everything, and that he's willing for you to haggle for a price. What does your character do?

Answer: I would look over them, sighing at the wonders. Diamonds, gold, and even pumpkin pie (still warm.) I would eventually pick out a pickaxe, and shake my head at the price. "200 minas, brand new," the trader said as he held it up, and I admired it. "Dwarven make, forged only yesterday" he said proudly trying to make a sale. thinking over, while it was a remarkable pickaxe 200 minas was to much "100", I murmur back, and I look at the trader consider it. he scratches his chin "150", He says back, almost defiant. "Hmm 125" i say almost as if i demand it, the trader looks beaten and just submits "fine fine, 125" he mutters before handing over the pickaxe, i take it and give him the minas "Pleasure doing business" i say happily, he just looks at me and grunts "yeah yeah.." before picking up his wares and moving onward "Bloody daylight robbery" he mutters as he walks away with his goods.

[Roxforbraynz 251]

 

 

1.  I'd like you to expand your roleplaying definition a little more. It's rather short.

 

2.  You didn't include lore in your biography. You can read through our lore on the Wiki or here on the Roleplay subforums. I'd also like you to expand upon your biography a little more and flesh out your character, if you can. At least one more paragraph.

 

3.  Your skin doesn't match a Dark Elf. Dark Elves have skin ranging from black to a dark grey. You can pass with black hair, as it's possible, but it's pretty rare. White hair is more commonly seen, usually with highlights. Common eye colors are blue, green and violet as well as an uncommon red color. Dark Elves also wear elegant clothing. Not so much as the High Elves, but definitely fancy. You can read all about Dark Elves on their Wiki page.

 

4.  I'd like you to work on your Open Response Questions some more. Make them read like short stories with detailed actions and dialogue between the characters. Additionally, in your second Open Response Question, you stole some of the old mans coins. No matter the intent, you cannot do this without a Villain Application which you cannot get until you are accepted.

 

 

Please wait at least a full twenty four hours as of this post's edit (seen below) before posting your next attempt. This will give you time to improve your application based on the feedback above. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message. I'd be happy to help. Good luck with your next application.

Edited April 28, 2013 by Roxforbraynz

[Roxforbraynz 251]

Moved to Denied Forum