[Denied]Ratedrko25's Human App

[ratedrko25 1]

Out-Of-Character Information
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name:ratedrko25
How old are you?:13
Time-Zone:Eastern Time Zone
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?:Yes
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?:Fallout RP servers
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?:A friend
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server:
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above):
Have you read the Human lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?:Yes

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing:Acting like someone you are not and choosing the role of the person you are not
Meta-gaming:Doing something that would need RP before hand doing it, EX:Knowing someones name because it is in the chat
Power-emoting:Forcing the ones action on another without the others consent

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name:Daneil "Niner" MacKenzie
Current Age:22
Sub-race (if any):
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long):
    Daneil MacKenzie, a young ambitous man who is a little incompetent.At a young age Daneil's father was sent out to a war with Orcs. About 7 seconds
after his father started fighting, he was killed. Being toldabout this left a scar on Daneil. He grew a hate for Orcs, even though one of his best friends
was an Orc. She'rk, the Orc, along with almost everyone else in his town died in a raid.The Orcs that

came left no mercy, luckily Daneil and his mother
had some knowadlge of Orc attacks. The surviving soilders told themall the storys and that gave them the edge when they first saw the Orcs coming over
the horizon ready to burn the town to the ground. Daneil and his mother, Julia, got out of there alive.
    Shortly after that they encountered an old man who owned an orphanage for people who survived Orc raids. Daneil was the ninth orphan adopted to get in,thus the nick name Niner. His only real friend was a human named Delvin. They spent all day together playing, training their combat skills, and
doing brotherly things. One day the old man went insane. He burned the orphanage down and only Daneil and Delvin managed to survive that fire.
They were the only ones out side of the orphanage when the fire started. Currently Daneil is unaware of what happend to his mother, he asumes she is dead.
    Daneil and Delvin stayed roaming the lands until they were both 21. At that age Delvin grew insane, he started ranting about random things and
occasinly trying to kill random people for no said reason. One day he went too far. He came at Daneil with a knife, Daneil luckily ducked down to pick
something up and Delvin went right over him, landing on his back, falling from a 10 foot drop. Daneil checked on him but Delvin had suffered brutal injures
to his back and spine and, shortly after died.
    Daneil turned insane after, thinking that Delvin is alive, after him, trying to kill him. If someone goes in his general dierection for more then
a minute he will go in some sort of rage and run away as fast as he can to escape what he thinks is Delvin. Daneil has a very limited reading skill and has
to pick out words that he knows to complete a sentance.
Ambitions for the Future: To learn to read properly, to find out his mothers true fate.   
Personality: Ambitous, insane, incompetent, charismatic, egotistic.
Skills:Sword fighting, speech craft to a certain degree, has high endurance; can run for long distances
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin):
Any other details you wish to share about your character:I choose the nickname Niner due to the pronunciation of the number nine in the
ICAO spelling alphabet.

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
____

1. Whilst in the mighty human capital you notice a dark-clothed figure stealthily making his way towards the Emperor’s palace - he is clearly up to no good. There are guards within shouting distance - what do you do?

Answer: I walk up to him and try to stop him from getting into the palace. I talk to him a little bit and get out of him what he is doing. Seeing how Daneil
is a charismatic man, I act as if I want what he may want. After getting what I need out of him (What he is doing) I go up to the guards and tell them about
my finding. The man would then most likely then be arrested, giving me a possible reward, just adding to my ego.


2. Whilst wandering in the deep oak forest you come across a large clearing, in which sits a small cobbled cottage. Outside it stands an unstable old man armed with a small iron blade, surrounded by two heavily armed bandits - they appear to be threatening him. You are armed with leather armour and an iron longsword, how do you react?

Answer: I hide in the deep oak forest around the clearing and wacth what happens. As soon as I see the bandits make any moition to their weapons I come out
my hiding and run at the bandits and grab one, not hurting the one I grab too much (To see what they were doing). After getting it out of them I either
attack them or shoo them away, and threaten them. Either way I do it, I help the old man and get his story. After protecting him for the next day(by staying
at his home), I decide it is safe and leave, giving him some of my supplies.


3. You are standing within the mighty human capital when you notice a small man standing behind a colourful stall. You approach the stall and notice that the man is selling a variety of general goods - he says that he is selling just about anything and that he has no set prices. He is willing to allow you to haggle and choose prices. What do you do? (Explain: your haggling, items of choice and the discussion that happens).

Answer:I walk up to him and take a good look at his items for sale. After taking my pick on what I want, I start by haggling. Being a charismatic young man,
I have some ability of batering. I can do my best at trying to get that iron sword he has for sale, giving about 75 minas. Then getting to the food items
he has on him. On me I have spider eyes, and 10 minas. I use this to get myself some porkchop. Which should last me about 5 days. I then take my final pick,
a iron chestplate. This, being hardest for me takes the longest. I have to get a good 10 minutes of 200-500 minas for the chestplate. Finnaly i manage to get
it for 300, and as an extra, a loaf of bread.

[Princeton 396]

 

--

 

- Unfortunately, I am going to have to deny this -

 

Firstly, your biography struck me as extremely cliché and overused. Orcs hardly ever randomly raid human villages!  I suggest referring to this guide to help you avoid cliches such as parent killing orcs. Try to come up with a unique character that really stands out. Please add LoTC lore and specific names to help fully round out your application.

 

Secondly, your ORQ's lacked detailed dialogue and actions. It is important to explain everything that you are doing in your ORQ's in a detailed and specific manner. If you attempt to apprehend the cloaked figure, explain how you did so. If you attempt to kill/scare off the bandits, explain how you did so with detailed dialogue and actions. Refer to an implemented application for a example.

 

Please wait 24 hours after this post to reapply. Feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns!

[Princeton 396]

Moved to Denied Forum